Wassup Razzballers!

No headline player this week, but we do have a fancy graphic that I threw together in a couple minutes… I would not be averse to someone making me a cool graphic to headline this series *hint hint.*  Anyway, lets dive in!  The big change this week revolves around the hawks.  Their wings certainly gain some value with Kyle Korver packing his bags and moving out.  I’d say Tim Hardaway Jr. is borderline must-own, at least, until we see how Mike Dunleavy factors in.

That being said, lets dive in!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

…title sounds like some sort of Adult Swim episode. Something the Squidbillies might do! Oh man, what a time to be a Nikola Jokic owner! I don’t know if any top-50 pick has played with your emotions quite like this! It’s like the crazy hot girlfriend in college – and might as well be a crazy hot redhead because ginger girls are nuts! She’s hot as hell at first, goes a little nuts on you early on, but the hotness keeps you around. 16/8/11/0/1 last night on 6-12 shooting, and point guard-ing the shit outta that game last night!

He was dishing so good, I decided to edit together that GIF this time! And it was tough to show only 15 seconds worth! Perils of trying to explain why you’re hanging out with a hot redhead that is acting nuts in your dorm (I have no personal experience here…)… it takes some finesse explaining it! Anyway, the Nuggets are looking soooooo much better with Jock Itch running the point: after ups and downs with his AST, since Dec 10th when he got 6 dimes, the Nuggets are 6-3 over the last 9 games with Jokic averaging 5.7 dimes and 67.7% shooting from the field. While the dimes from a C are beastly and all, he still only has 19 STL and 19 BLK on the season, good for 0.7/0.7. I thought my #44 overall rank was going to end up being bold, but turns out the hype machine pushed him top-30 in several ranks/draft selections, which made his value a little bit of a bubble. But thankfully if you gutted through that rough November, you’ve got a mad case of Jock Itch keeping you red hot right now! Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy hoops action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

*Pickup of the Week!*

Fantasy owners, do you have a need for solid multi-cat production off the wire?  Would you like to win your league this year?  Would you like a player with the most obvious movie pun ever?  Then do I have a player for you!  Garrett Temple!  Owned in only 13% of leagues – He’s been on fire lately with splits of 14/4.3/5/1.3/0.7 with 3 treys per game.  This is good for 56th overall this past week.  Run to the wire now and then read the rest of this column!  The Kings gave the veteran a very solid contract, so it only makes sense that he’d have a good role – especially with Rudy Gay and Omri Casspi struggling to stay on the court.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

(Yep, I just find that pic funny, and yup, I was amused that Tony Parker made it into any of my content.  Don’t hate.)

Howdy RazzNation!  I’m going to use the format from last week to keep a running list of current pickups for each category, new additions will have an asterisk (*) beside them, so  you can keep up to date on the latest hot adds.  I will also remove players who stop being productive, or move over that 50% ownership mark.  Ownership percentages will be updated as well!  Let me know what you think of this idea!  Basically, I ran into the problem of the same guys being good pickups every week.  I figure it’d be better for everyone to keep a running list, so that the pickups are all in one place, instead of having to look at previous editions of RazzWired.  I’d love comments, criticisms, or advice on what to add!  That being said, here we go!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Man, without fantasy, blowout NBA games featuring sub-.500 teams might be more insufferable to watch than Vanderpump Rules. I would know, because I was watching both last night – L.A. hipsters being the absolute worst on the TV with the wife, then professional NBA players being the absolute worst on the iPad!

But of course some guys played well in the Denver @ Dallas travesty – a game I know Slim watched as well due to his Nuggets-bias – including Nikola Jokic going for a career-high 27/11/4/0/1. Hit 10-12 FG, 7-7 FT, and after Salah Mejri looked like Hassan Whiteside with 3 blocks in the first few minutes, Jokic really helped anchor down better post play.

Side note on those first two buckets for Jokic – look at Dwight Powell struggling to play D on centers. Just sayin’ based on our Pod this morning! Anywho, this is obviously the right step forward for Jock Itch to get unleashed, and he should have no problem working his way up to 30+ MPG every night now, right? RIGHT?!

F@#% You, Malone. So that tells me both A) you don’t reward players for playing well, B) but you do punish players for playing poorly, C) actually that makes total sense! It’s why we keep seeing the rotations wildly different night-to-night with no consistency for good performers. It’s exploitative coaching 101 – you don’t reward your underlings for doing something good, only punish them if they disobey. This also tells me it’s yet another Jusuf Nurkic slam, who went 4/6/2/1/0 on 2-6 shooting with 3 TO, and got thrown around a little by Mejri. I think Slim chose the wrong time to be REL-biased by the Nuggets, shoulda stuck with his Jazz! Here’s what else happened last night in fantasy basketball action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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I was incredibly bummed out about not getting a hold of Troy Daniels in the REL.  He’s purely a thragnof option, but he’s been one of my favorite players for the last few years.  Troy is the type of guy that you can bring off the bench while playing NBA 2k, and after you splash 5 threes with him, your opponent won’t know what hit them.  Unfortunately, the secret is now out.  Troy Daniels can shoot the lights out.  Since he isn’t available in that many leagues at this point, I won’t spend any time outside of this section on him, but if he is floating around on your wire, then grab him if you need a whole lot of treys and points.  Enough about my pet players, let’s get into it!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ahhhhh, DeMarcus Cousins. Build like a brick shithouse (did I get that phrase right?), puts up monster numbers, and the Kings franchise is terrible. We need a change of scenery! After years of speculation and “Lord give me strength” tweets, it looks like this year might finally be the year.

Boogie went nuts last night against the Wizards, going 36/20/4/2/1 (Goromotaro!), but the Kings still got another kick in the SAC in the OT loss. Cousins tried to put this team on his back! Scored the pivotal last two baskets to put it into extra time, but the Wizards are like the Borg. “Resistance is futile!”

Trekkie jokes! Despite the huge line and burning Marcin Gortat on drives, Boogie still did Boogie things, with 5 TO and 3-10 FT. I saw he almost got a technical foul by complaining to the rim! “Is that goal regulation size or WHAT?!” Even though he has 32+ points in the past 4, the D stats are down, and a looming trade would inevitably hurt his value. Actually, staying put would hurt too, as he’d be a major DNP candidate. One Boogie rumor is that he could be playing for last night’s enemy, and reuniting with Kentucky teammate John Wall. It would probably take Bradley Beal and some pieces, likely some picks thrown in there too, but the Wizards look like they need a shake-up, I think we can all agree there. Scotty Brooks can manage superstar personalities, and might be the best coach for Cousins. That said, the Wiz are 4-2 over the past 6, and might be ever-so-slightly turning it around.

With the trade rumor mill churning and the D stats down (giving Boogie a surprisingly-low 19th per-game valuation on BBmonster), I think now is the time to shop him around. You’re feeling great with your returns if you got him in the second round, so maybe a fantasy owner will want to take on Boogie’s temperamental stats more aggressively than an NBA GM. That is, if this hypothetical NBA GM isn’t a big fantasy player! Although if the GM plays in 8-cat, he’ll spend like crazzzzzzy to get Boogie! Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy hoops action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The fantasy basketball world is like, “bring out your dead!” “Free up those IL spots!” “Hope you have some scrubs to drop with everyone getting healthy again!”

With a shot of rum and locker room pyrotechnics, Jobu has unleashed his voodoo magic and Jesus Christ can now hit a curveball! Or I guess in this metaphor, hit a jump shot. Well, except if you’re Stephen Curry and you’re behind the 3 point line… Break up the Lakers!

It was a Sunday resurrection around the association, highlighted (well, for me) by Chandler Parsons getting back on the court yesterday afternoon. Way to take the spotlight off my Panthers, NBA scheduling! But good thing I focused on the Panthers, as Parsons was horrific, pulling a Jamal Murray and shooting 0-8 from the field. “Is that goal regulation size, or what?!” At least chipped in 3 boards and got a block, but didn’t finish the game with the starters in a close one, playing ~5 minute sets and only 22 minutes. After that rough anticipation of waiting, seeing such a dud out of the gate makes CP25 an ultimate buy low. I actually left him in my IL in a few RCLs, predicting a rough one outta the gate. Frustrated owners might think the knee is to blame, but he’s been practicing in full since before the season, so I think it’s just a little gametime rust. Just ask Jon Snow, when you get resurrected from the dead, you’re not 100% right out of the gate! Here’s what else went down over the weekend in fantasy basketball action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?