Through the top 20, we’ve already had 6 PGs taken off the board, but your third round is going to be more littered with 1s than Neo’s kung-fu program!  If you don’t have a PG through your first three rounds, you may as well turn into Brendan Fraser and live for 30 years with your dad Christopher Walken.  Or just scream in your draft lobby chat “WILLLLSSSOONNNNNN!”  …because you’ve been left behind, not because you’re drafting Wilson Chandler… “It’s not funny if you have to explain your joke, JB!”  Fine!  Probably the biggest change from the Way too Early Ranks is the catastrophic Isaiah Thomas falloff moving to Phoenix.  While he’s not in the top 50, I still think he’ll be a value.  More on that later!  Here’s my top 50 for the 2014-15 Fantasy Basketball Season (based on 9-cat H2H):

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We’re here!  We’ve got ranks!  2014-15 is quickly approaching, and we’re jumping the gun on ranks, projections, anticipating trades… Seriously, one of the biggest trades of the decade is all predicated on a handshake agreement.  “My fingers were crossed Saunders, hah!”  It’s the proverbial dogs playing poker, except the game is the fantasy basketball landscape and the GMs look even uglier than the deformed pug.  “Heel David Griffin, heel!”  Then to top off that soap opera, we have a first rounder from last year (but not in my ranks!) out for the year with a horrific injury in Team USA play.  For all the Paul George banter we had last year, Razzball Nation wishes him a speedy recovery.  Back to happy thoughts!  Anyone see that one of my boyfriends last year, Archie Goodwin, was drunk and resisting arrest at a skating rink?!  He was gonna make my top 10 too!  What a comical situation… He should have his own Archie Comics!  Oh wait… Well despite the innumerable implications of Tony Hawk’s arrest, let’s start ranking!  And as we go through the top 200 in long form, we’ll be updating our master ranks/easy-to-use post linked up there in the rankings menu.  Razzball is so easy!  One crown & coke and I’m out of my Knickerbockers faster than John Starks at a flat top convention!  Here’s my top 10 for the 2014-15 Fantasy Basketball Season (based on 9-cat H2H):

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I shouldn’t have waited.  I should have stepped up and said, “Yes JB, I’ve waited 30-some-odd years of my life to get on an airplane because I’m afraid that there really could be a gray furry monster who destroys it while we’re 30 thousand feet in the air”.  Looking back I fear perhaps I may not have been too logical in my thinking and now I have to carry that regret with me for the rest of my life.  Like when I didn’t go to Mexico with JB for spring break.  Even though I never really heard any stories because he claimed he  ‘couldn’t remember anything’, he came back with obvious aversions to Tequila, guacamole, the word ‘labradoodle‘, and giant black dildos.  Don’t ask how I know, I wish I didn’t.  Or when he did that semester abroad.  He told me about going hostel to hostel, meeting new people and learning new things everyday.  If I would have gone with him then I probably would have learned why he gets so strange whenever he hears someone speaking Dutch.  He gets this big smile on his face and his eyes gloss over like he’s catatonic.  If you want to break him out all you have to do is say ‘labradoodle’ and you can tell from the look on his face that whatever day dream he was having immediately turned into a nightmare.

I assume by now you’ve read the title and are asking yourself, ‘Self, why am I reading about Paul George for fantasy?’ Pretty simple really… because I wrote it before his injury.  Doh!  I shouldn’t have waited but I wanted to make sure Melo was going back to New York and then I had to wait on Lance to sign and then…  So what do I do with it?  Throw it away?  Well it’s just a bunch of 0′s and 1′s in a computer somewhere and I don’t know where so that wasn’t an option.  I figure I’ll post it, face the furry monster, and catch the next flight anywhere.  So here it is, Paul George v Carmelo Anthony unaltered and I hereby challenge you to find a more pointless post for fantasy basketball the rest of the year:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As we head into August, now is a perfect time to take a look back at the free agency period for the upcoming 2014-15 NBA season.

While there is one big name yet to sign (Eric Bledsoe), a few less-intriguing options still on the market (Michael Beasley, Andray Blatche, Kent Bazemore, Jordan Crawford), and another who’s unsure whether he’ll play or retire (Ray Allen), most of the fantasy basketball world knows where guys will be playing this season.  Of course, that still doesn’t include the possibility of Kevin Love finding a new home by the end of the summer, but that could be the subject of an entirely different article.

There is little doubt in anyone’s mind that Love will land in Cleveland, which will make them a huge force in the Eastern Conference — and in the entire NBA.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Happy draft lottery, Cleveland-ites!  Is having another 1st overall pick enough to lure LeBron back?!  I think chances of that are as good as Anthony Bennett turning out to be a good player…

And now to the fun stuff… Figuring out where to rank the volatile middle-tier guys.  As Paris Hilton once said, “Studs are studs!  Except for when they’re busts!”  Wow, awful.  Needed to get some shock value in here – that was my proverbial watermelon mallet.

After the top 20, things get pretty tricky this early in the offseason.  And until a good bit after the NBA Draft, 50 is as high as we’re gonna go.  The draft class is loaded, and several should proliferate into the top 100, with a few even top 50 guys in the right situation.  Then free agency, old guys retiring, all that hooblah.  But if you’re thinking ahead to some dynasties or formulating some early fantasy draft strategies, here’s my way too early Top 50 for the 2014-15 Fantasy Basketball Season (spoiler alert: still no Jonas Valanciunas):

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Razzball Hoops Nation!  It’s officially the offseason!  Well for fantasy…  And for the Knicks and the Lakers.  And the Pacers!  Haha, sorry matt, just joshin’…

And what better way to look back on the 2013-14 season than to reflect on the rankings.  Those who don’t learn from the past are doomed to repeat it!  Dammit, that means I can’t ever rank Ricky Rubio highly again even though I know I’ll want to!

So I reflected back on my ranks, and patted myself on the back or immolated myself on what I was thinking so long ago.  Rankings are based on my final updated top 200 and eesh!  Looking back on these some are rough!  I then compared them to the FantasyPros aggregate Draft Day Rankings along with Basketball Monster’s Total Value for 9-cat leagues for the season.  I had Slim come in and grade each of my picks, and man, he’s a harsh grader!  And unfortunately he doesn’t take too kindly to giant pasty men flashing their teetans at him either, so I got no extra help. Here’s a look back at the Top 20 for the 2013-14 Fantasy Basketball Season:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Razzball Nation!  Man, scary to think there’s only a week left of the regular season.  Where has all the time gone?!  While the majority of leagues have wrapped up, we’ve still got some extended H2H finals and Roto players out there who need a pickup for The End of the Road.  And why not Randy Foye after his 30/5/15/2/0 explosion last night?  “Wait, don’t you hate Randy Foye JB?!”  Shut it, commenter who remembers everything!  I do hate Foye, but he’s going to get the volume with Ty Lawson out at least another few games with his bum ankle.   Brian Shaw is saying Lawson probably will return this season, and coaches never lie or deceive us in the NBA, right?!  Cough cough.  With only two games on the slate tomorrow, the 63%-owned Foye (which, yes, is probably lower than it should be given the leagues that are over with aren’t making moves) needs to be scooped up in all leagues still rounding out their finals.  Plus the Nugs schedule the rest of the way is @GS, UTA, @LAC, GS.  He’s gonna heave up more threes than Jimmer Fredette at the BYU Alumni game!  Here’s what else I’ve seen over the last couple of days of NBA action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there’ll be ThrAGNOF!  Full disclosure – I had to look up this song from that movie about a weird looking ginger chick and it’s about coming of age or something.  No, not Teeth!  Last night, an injury-ravaged, de-taloned Pelicans went out and shocked the Clippers.  Kevin Hart, apparently a big Clippers fan, got to travel with LA on a Ride Along I’m guessing.  When Jamal Crawford upchucked a three at the buzzer for the win, that arced so high it might’ve hit the Cowboys Stadium scoreboard, Hart started crying when it barely hit rim and got angrier than his little cameo in The 40-Year-Old Virgin.  Anyway – Anthony Morrow was a big factor in the upset win, going full-ThrAGNOF 27/5/0/0/1 with two treys.  Scoring is the name of his game!  Always a high-volume shooter, Morrow just has never stuck in a big role as he doesn’t do anything else.  Dude, if he was on a D’Antoni Lakers team, he might break the NBA!  With Brian Roberts with a bruised knee, Eric Gordon with an absence of knees, and Austin Rivers with the sniffies, the Pels were without three of their bigger remaining scorers.  Looking ahead to tomorrow, the Pelicans get a beignet of a matchup against the former New Orleans Jazz and all three could miss again.  So if you need some treys and a little scoring upside in the deeper leagues, it’s that time of year when the scrubs will come out tomorrow!  Here’s what else I saw last night in NBA action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Perhaps the funniest catch phrase I made up with my buddies while watching the NBA through college -”Wahhhhhh I’m Jarrett Jack!” – can be used in so many instances.  It’s like Brian Dennehy’s speech about how versatile the F-Bomb is when he played Bobby Knight in an ESPN movie.  Whomever greenlit that idea, airing a movie with constant F-Bombs on ESPN2, is probably fired.  He’s like, “Don’t fire me!  Wahhhhhhhhh!  Wahhhhhhhhhhh, I’m Jarrett Jack!”  I use this phrase because every time I seem to watch him, he looks so so sad.  And just look at the cover screen grab for the Yahoo recap from the game last night!  So after Kyrie Irving flexed his guns too hard, Jack had three starts of very uninspiring ball.  Mike Brown sat him down and said he needed more from him.  The veteran responded, “Wahhhhhhhhh I’m Jarrett Jack!”   Then last night rolled around with the Knicks rolling out Raymond Felton to play defense.  Seriously, it’s like Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory with the blueberry chick.  The only difference is Felton actually ate the meals and didn’t chew the LSD-laced gum!  After a minute or two, Felton was winded, and went “Wahhhhhhhh, I have to guard Jarrett Jack!”  Jack lit up the terrible Knicks D for 31/5/10 with a trey and a side of whoopass.  Finally kicking it into gear as the starter, Jack has a four-gamer cooking up for week two of the playoffs, with my eye eagerly on Wednesday at the awful Pistons.  It doesn’t really matter who he’s playing, pretty much a must own.  Of course, in all my leagues where I’m still alive, he was already snatched up.  “Wahhhhhhhhh, I’m Jarrett Jack!”  Here’s what else I caught over the weekend in NBA action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yet another start for the Gorgui Apparatus, with Gorgui Dieng going all out with a Goromotaro!  I have to say, definitely the most unexpected Goromotaro since the term was coined.  22/21/4/1/0 and double-doubles in his last three games.  Except this was a double double-double.  There’s so many Ds in that sentence you’d think I was daydreaming about Tyra Banks!  And while Gorgui is out proving that he’s America’s Next Top C, what are doing right now in crunch time of fantasy?  He’s a tough guy to leave on the wire, but the Wolves only have Sunday left this week, and Nikola Pekovic is traveling with the team.  Pek is questionable, but Dieng has given the team every excuse to keep the youngun out there with pretty much no realistic expectations to make the playoffs.  So unless you’ve got a bye with a real scrub and you can stash Gorgui and hope for another big upside game, or your line-up is virtually full Friday and Saturday, you’re probably letting him ride in 10 or 12ers H2H.  Roto he’s worth a spin and if you’re crushing it in week 1 of the playoffs, maybe worth a stache as well.  Oh no, Grey has me daydreaming about baseball!  Mmmmm, Tyra Banks and baseball.  Get out of my head Grey!  What will be really interesting next year is what the Wolves do up front with Kevin Love having an uncertain future and Pek a FA.  Dieng would probably be a really flashy flyer if he projects to start.  Here’s what else I saw last night in NBA action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?