We’re here! We’ve got ranks! 2014-15 is quickly approaching, and we’re jumping the gun on ranks, projections, anticipating trades… Seriously, one of the biggest trades of the decade is all predicated on a handshake agreement. “My fingers were crossed Saunders, hah!” It’s the proverbial dogs playing poker, except the game is the fantasy basketball landscape and the GMs look even uglier than the deformed pug. “Heel David Griffin, heel!” Then to top off that soap opera, we have a first rounder from last year (but not in my ranks!) out for the year with a horrific injury in Team USA play. For all the Paul George banter we had last year, Razzball Nation wishes him a speedy recovery. Back to happy thoughts! Anyone see that one of my boyfriends last year, Archie Goodwin, was drunk and resisting arrest at a skating rink?! He was gonna make my top 10 too! What a comical situation… He should have his own Archie Comics! Oh wait… Well despite the innumerable implications of Tony Hawk’s arrest, let’s start ranking! And as we go through the top 200 in long form, we’ll be updating our master ranks/easy-to-use post linked up there in the rankings menu. Razzball is so easy! One crown & coke and I’m out of my Knickerbockers faster than John Starks at a flat top convention! Here’s my top 10 for the 2014-15 Fantasy Basketball Season (based on 9-cat H2H):Please, blog, may I have some more?
I shouldn’t have waited. I should have stepped up and said, “Yes JB, I’ve waited 30-some-odd years of my life to get on an airplane because I’m afraid that there really could be a gray furry monster who destroys it while we’re 30 thousand feet in the air”. Looking back I fear perhaps I may not have been too logical in my thinking and now I have to carry that regret with me for the rest of my life. Like when I didn’t go to Mexico with JB for spring break. Even though I never really heard any stories because he claimed he ‘couldn’t remember anything’, he came back with obvious aversions to Tequila, guacamole, the word ‘labradoodle‘, and giant black dildos. Don’t ask how I know, I wish I didn’t. Or when he did that semester abroad. He told me about going hostel to hostel, meeting new people and learning new things everyday. If I would have gone with him then I probably would have learned why he gets so strange whenever he hears someone speaking Dutch. He gets this big smile on his face and his eyes gloss over like he’s catatonic. If you want to break him out all you have to do is say ‘labradoodle’ and you can tell from the look on his face that whatever day dream he was having immediately turned into a nightmare.
I assume by now you’ve read the title and are asking yourself, ‘Self, why am I reading about Paul George for fantasy?’ Pretty simple really… because I wrote it before his injury. Doh! I shouldn’t have waited but I wanted to make sure Melo was going back to New York and then I had to wait on Lance to sign and then… So what do I do with it? Throw it away? Well it’s just a bunch of 0′s and 1′s in a computer somewhere and I don’t know where so that wasn’t an option. I figure I’ll post it, face the furry monster, and catch the next flight anywhere. So here it is, Paul George v Carmelo Anthony unaltered and I hereby challenge you to find a more pointless post for fantasy basketball the rest of the year:Please, blog, may I have some more?
As we head into August, now is a perfect time to take a look back at the free agency period for the upcoming 2014-15 NBA season.
While there is one big name yet to sign (Eric Bledsoe), a few less-intriguing options still on the market (Michael Beasley, Andray Blatche, Kent Bazemore, Jordan Crawford), and another who’s unsure whether he’ll play or retire (Ray Allen), most of the fantasy basketball world knows where guys will be playing this season. Of course, that still doesn’t include the possibility of Kevin Love finding a new home by the end of the summer, but that could be the subject of an entirely different article.
There is little doubt in anyone’s mind that Love will land in Cleveland, which will make them a huge force in the Eastern Conference — and in the entire NBA.Please, blog, may I have some more?
In general I think it’s a good idea to say, “Spoiler Alert: Plot Climax”, but I don’t need to do that when talking about the new Godzilla movie because I haven’t seen it. It’s not the plot I take offense to anyway, I’m disappointed in the choice of lead monster. With today’s CGI the giant, furry, and oh so cute Mothra could still wreck havoc on the city but unlike Godzilla he would also sell millions of soft, fuzzy pillows to little boys and girls everywhere. I’ve already mailed my script to Disney so don’t go trying to steal my ideas. And what about King Ghidorah, the three-headed dragon monstrosity? If I had to put down a few bucks between him and Godzilla then I’m taking King Ghidorah. Sure Godzilla has his strengths with the loud roar and all but he doesn’t fly. So while Godzilla is flailing his little T-Rex arms and squawking like a pissed off parrot, the King can leisurely glide around and deliver deadly destruction whenever he so pleases.
Godzilla is a tried and true brand so he makes the most sense but I don’t think that makes him the right choice. In a Russell Westbrook vs John Wall debate you would probably assume Westbrook makes the most sense too – but I’m not so sure. Actually I am sure, if you remember last time out I told you I was going into these comparisons with a predetermined winner. So before we get started I’m going to go ahead and put a few bucks down on John Wall. It would be a much easier debate if he could fly, but either way he’s still going to be a summer, I mean winter blockbuster.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Razzball Hoops Nation! Wow, typing 2014-15 already just feels weird… I’m not ready to quit you 2013-14! Although, the disappointing image of the face of the Luminescent Lithuanian makes it easy. We’re done, ya ho! I’m just not that into you…
As I do every season during the NBA Playoffs, I think it’s a fun way to kick off the year with some way too early rankings through the top 50. “Wait a minute, isn’t there free agency and a draft, moron!?” Shut it, noob commenter! There will obviously be numerous changes to these early ranks, possibly even some rookies trickling into the bottom end of the top 50, and all sorts of free agency moves to make this a really fun offseason. Here’s my way too early Top 20 for the 2014-15 Fantasy Basketball Season (spoiler alert: no Jonas Valanciunas):Please, blog, may I have some more?
Razzball Hoops Nation! It’s officially the offseason! Well for fantasy… And for the Knicks and the Lakers. And the Pacers! Haha, sorry matt, just joshin’…
And what better way to look back on the 2013-14 season than to reflect on the rankings. Those who don’t learn from the past are doomed to repeat it! Dammit, that means I can’t ever rank Ricky Rubio highly again even though I know I’ll want to!
So I reflected back on my ranks, and patted myself on the back or immolated myself on what I was thinking so long ago. Rankings are based on my final updated top 200 and eesh! Looking back on these some are rough! I then compared them to the FantasyPros aggregate Draft Day Rankings along with Basketball Monster’s Total Value for 9-cat leagues for the season. I had Slim come in and grade each of my picks, and man, he’s a harsh grader! And unfortunately he doesn’t take too kindly to giant pasty men flashing their teetans at him either, so I got no extra help. Here’s a look back at the Top 20 for the 2013-14 Fantasy Basketball Season:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Razzball Nation! Hopefully you’re hopping over here to boast your hardware. To flaunt your gold. To show us all your bigger red ass to display your dominance over us weakling chimps! Most H2H leagues wrapped up last night, and I had a brutal year. Multi-titles last year, not a one this time out. But hey! It’s been a fun season, and we’ve still got a few weeks left for other H2Hers and Roto players. So we’ll be here! And we’ve got a fun championship edition week coming at ya, with Slim’s REL acceptance speech along with Wednesday’s RCL Championship crowning. Speaking of crowning, somebody get Aaron Brooks the iron throne (I thought about making a birthing joke instead, but that’s gross)! Dude has been owning Westeros (I think that’s right, it’s hard to keep up with all the kingdoms when you haven’t read the books!), getting his second straight 40+ minute outing and blowing up for 24/8/15/3/0. As I mentioned in the comments at some point last week, Brooks against the Rockets with no Patrick Beverley checking him was going to be saucy. Then Ty Lawson had to sit on top of it! Wow, that sentence comes off weird as a standalone… Brooks looks to be an immediate add with Brian Shaw quoted that he’s not rushing Lawson back. As well he shouldn’t, captain obvious! Try and snatch up Brooks if you still can and ride him while Lawson sits on it, apparently. Hah! Here’s what else I saw over the weekend:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Can I has Triple Doublez? Man watching Kevin Love is fun. I think he should enter the NFL draft. Deep outlets like these, plus he’s almost 7 feet and would never get a pass deflected at the line! I can just picture Kevin Costner and Denis Leary debating over it with the Browns first round pick. “I’m not taking some bearded seven foot douchebag when I’ve got Johnny Football and a bottle of Johnnie Walker Green!” Eh, was going for a Leary-ism there, it’s hard to type it… Huge night for Love, going 24/16/10/1/1 with two treys and continually adding millions to his next contract. All after a report a few days ago that he was “exhausted” after a couple of non-Love-ish games. Unloved games? Something like that. He’ll be one of the biggest stories to follow in the offseason, but he’s pretty much a shoe-in top-5 pick. In Basketball Monster, he’s #3 in overall value and #4 per game. He’s stayed durable and has been beastly. Godly. I kinda wanna get a Love bobblehead and put it in my locker and serve him rum. Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s been a year long punching bag. Larry Drew sucks, he has no idea how to grow a young team, and because he plays guys different minutes every night the Bucks are atrocious and have no cohesion. But that’s nothing new, as he was awarded the first Razzball Worst NBA Coach Razzie. It’d be a wonder if he could do anything right! Yesterday, I said Ramon Sessions might be the best player on that team (and he got a ridiculous 20 minutes to show for it Sunday), and Larry Screw actually paid attention to my advice! Sessions started last night against the Clips, played 44 minutes, making the most of it. Shot a ridiculous 13-21 (2-3 3PTM) for 28/6/7. While this game was nice, and I maintain he’s probably the best fantasy asset on the Bucks right now, he’s not necessarily the best pickup. The Bucks have only two more games this week, Thursday against the Lakers (which you obviously love) then Sunday against the Heat (not so much). Plus it’s the Bucks and we all know how Larry Screwballs can jack things up. I picked him up in one league just to lock down that Thursday game since it’s a light slate with only four games. If you can afford to do that, Sessions is your man. Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy basketball action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Wow. Last night was rocky. For a lot of people. Hopefully your playoff teams came out of the better end! Lots of guys with minor injuries were forced to sit, and within only minutes of each other Nikola Vucevic and Josh Smith got ejected in different games. Pretty much like the wild west out there! Next thing you know, I’m quoting Will Smith from that god forsaken movie… “Let me kindly stand up!” Probably the biggest benefactor in what will be dubbed “DNP-Day” was Aaron Brooks, who started for Ty Lawson who had “illness”. Wow, that sounds ominous. Brooks went all 2009 on us, and posted a redonk 27/6/17 line. Dude, if you played in a daily league or if you were streaming Brooks for the dimes, you just got a major sign from the fantasy gods. “You, my son, are blessed with stats that overfloweth!” Distribute some to us less fortunate ones! The Nugs play again on Friday, and it’s tough to say what Lawson’s status will be by then. Ricky Rubio went bonkers on the Mavs last night (more below), so if Brooks does get the start – cue the Pavlovian salivating. Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy hoops action (and if you get here early enough, be sure to sign up for the Razzball NCAA Bracket pool with a fun prize to the winner!):Please, blog, may I have some more?