Oh man, things are going to get saucy in the second round!  After Slim and I (and most of you commenters) seemed to more-or-less agree on most of my top-10, here’s where I gotta get my defending pants on.  They kinda look like waders, but they’re decked out in OKC branded colors and logos.  I call them my “Dion Waiters”!  BOOM!  Offseason jokes are in in-season form!

While we’re all watching StanVan complain about the LeBron calls and crossing our fingers Steph is healthy enough to come back for game 3, there’s no better time to dive into the deep end of hoops rankings a good 5 months too early.  Can I put Ben Simmons in the top-25 yet?!  Pssshhh, thing be gettin’ crazy outside the top 10, but not dat crazy!  Here’s my Way Too Early Top 25 for the 2016-17 Fantasy Basketball Season:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The H2H season is over! Hopefully you triumphed over your leagues with Ws in the final week, and kept from being rocked by the DNP-obsessed NBA. NBA coaches and GMs are just trolling us fantasy players! Ya know what Dwane Casey? You’re flat out dumb, your mom is ugly, and you’re a n00b coach!

Erstwhile all these benchings, we got a big return yesterday afternoon with Blake Griffin rejoining the Clip. On top of Doc saying he was mad out of shape, we also got news his quad is still bothering him and he’ll be playing through the pain. Oh, wahhhhhhhh Blake! What about the pain of getting slugged in the face by one of the most jacked NBA players in the league!? Or as you see it, sorry his skull caused your hand such pain! Hopefully you were only stashing Blake in IL leagues, as he only put up 6/5/4/0/0 with a TO in 22 minutes. He shot 2-7 from the field, and looked more gassed than Zoolander’s Balls Models friends… Did anyone even see the 2nd one? Looked awful… Anyway, Doc said he was going to be really careful with Blake, so if your league continues on until the bitter end, be prepared for continual low-minutes and Doc to hop in on the DNP obsession. Hopefully it’s just a fad, like Angry Birds or those skinny rubber wristbands… Oh wait! Here’s what else went down over the championship weekend in fantasy basketball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The precursor to the much-hyped Clippers and Warriors game was the game between the Bulls and Knicks. On paper, this wasn’t the best choice by ESPN, considering the Knicks are out of the playoffs and the Bulls are competing for the 8th spot.

However, it featured two of the best, youngest international stars. Rookie Kristaps Porzingis dunked and shot his way to 29 points and 10 rebounds. He may have hit the so-called “rookie wall,” but he still contributes enough in a variety of categories to matter in fantasy for the playoffs.

Nikola Mirotic almost single handedly brought the Bulls back in the 4th quarter. He knocked down 9-13 from downtown, on his way to 35 points and 6 rebounds off the bench. Can you name the last Bull to knock down 8 threes in a game? Ben Gordon did it in 2008-09. While Gordon had a serviceable career, I hope both Mirotic and Porzingis have better careers than Gordon. Based on Wednesday, their futures look very bright.

Now only the other nightly notables:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I don’t know BoBo! You don’t know Bobo! Let’s call the whole thing off!

Who is this Bojan Bogdanovic we’re seeing lately!? Once a disappearing act at the starting 2 in Brooklyn, BoBo has moved to the 3 and it’s done wonders for his numbers. As we all know, the Nets’ SG position is the NBA’s Bermuda Triangle, so once he broke free of the curse, he finally started rackin’ up da goods! After putting up 44 on the Sixers earlier in the week, it seeming like less of a fluke after going 26/3/5/1/0 against the Bulls last night in only 29 minutes. It was uber-efficient too, going 10-17 from the field with 2 treys and 4-4 FT. What’s surprising about this scoring outburst is in these 70 Pts the last two games, only 18 have come from treys. As a starting F, he’s 18.9/4.2/2.4 with 2.2 treys in 10 games, further proof that the Nets SG position has been hexed by Miss Cleo. “I have drawn the ThrAGNOF, fluke, relegated to D-League and sub-15 minute cards!” At 55% owned, BoBo the bear could easily still be on the wire in your league, as he was even out there in one of my RCLs. Unfortunately he didn’t fit my needs – read: I was out of moves. Ugh! I got antsy with streaming as my non-bye week playoff teams are getting hexed by Miss Cleo too! “I have drawn the suck, suck, brick, and suck card!” Here’s what else went down last night in NBA action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

A matchup with the Philadelphia 76ers is Candyland for talented opposition and on Tuesday night it was Thaddeus Young‘s turn to feast. The injury-depleted Sixers couldn’t keep Thad off the glass as he collected a season-high 16 rebounds (four offensive). In addition to the board-fest, Young scored 14 points on 5-9 from the field and a perfect 4-4 mark from the foul line. He handed out a team-high four assists (with no turnovers), swiped the ball twice and rejected three Philly shots for an eight-category gem. The only disappointment for Thad’s owners on this night is that he fouled out, holding him to 33 minutes, or the line could have been even sweeter.

Thad has been a fourth round value on the season so big lines have popped up here and there, but monster outings like Tuesday’s illustrate just how favorable a matchup with Philadelphia can be. All told, the Nets hung 131 points on ’em (in regulation) and with the 76ers having now given up more than 110 points in twelve of their last fifteen games, it’s worth a look ahead to see who else might have an opportunity to post a season-best line at the expense of Philadelphia pride in the near future…

  • Thursday, March 17th vs Wizards – Look for Otto Porter to go big, especially if Bradley Beal can’t go.
  • Friday, March 18th vs Thunder – If you’ve ever wondered if Russell Westbrook can post a triple-double in less than 20 minutes, this might be the night we find out.
  • Sunday, March 20th vs Boston – Avery Bradley is due for a scoring outburst as he hasn’t had a 20+ point performance since February 22nd. Maybe he busts loose against the “defense” of Isaiah Canaan and Nik Stauskas.

Beyond that the ‘6ers head out on a four-game road trip with the last of those contests taking place at Oracle Arena against the Golden State Warriors…yikes.

Let’s take a game-by-game look at the studs, duds and noteworthy performers from a six-game Tuesday night.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s hard going into the fantasy playoffs without thinking of that cliche soundbit over and over… I feel like the dude from Pi trying to write an open to this, the drill is plugged in!

But seriously, if you’re still reading at this point in the season, there’s a 95% chance you’re in the fantasy playoffs or in the running to win your Roto league. The other 5% of you… I love you. Thanks for reading until the bitter end!

As with the advice you’ll see anywhere, now is the time to move on from anything that isn’t nailed down, no more stashing unless you have a bye, and it’s week-to-week, all-hands-on-deck (can-I-come-up-with-any-more-linked-together-phrases?!) here on out. I’m all over the place with emotions right now, I can’t focus on a succinct open! I shocked the world by winning the reg. season of the Slim vs. JB RCL, got another playoff berth in the REL, UNCW (my alma mater) is playing in-state rival and a buncha-crooks Duke, just had my first epic fantasy baseball draft… There’s so much going on! And with March Madness obviously cutting into our basketball time, don’t sleep on your fantasy hoops postseason and start partyin’ it up like James Harden when your season is on the line. I don’t care about getting my 14 over 3 upset, I need to get to the semis! So stay locked and loaded, don’t let the NCAA Cinderellas these first 2 rounds distract you, and let’s go out and bring home the bacon. Here’s what went down over the weekend in fantasy hoops action, plus The 7 Ahead for Week 20 – the first week of the playoffs for standard H2H leagues:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Do-you-want-s’more?

That was the last time I saw a Butler as mechanical as Jimmy Butler… “He’s more machine now, than man!”  Well, that was more a bartender, but ya know…  Godzilla returned from a pretty scary knee injury faster than I thought, going 24/11/6/1/0 in 34 minutes Saturday night exactly a month after “straining” his knee.  I’m sorry, when I hear nonspecificity with a knee injury, it’s scarier to me than realizing Deebo from Friday would lead our presidential candidates right now.  “WHY THE HELL IS IT EATING ALL THE SATELLITES!?”  Future came sooner than we thought on that one…  Focus, JB!  Aziz, light!  Godzilla did have some warts with the 5 TO and fouling out (actually the first time he’s fouled out in his career!), but when you’re a lizard-beast born from nuclear winter, it’s tough to have a blemish free outing!  I preached caution in trying to buy Buckets low, so hopefully you were bolder than me.  More daring.  Basically let’s hope you treated this like a giant Dorito, while I was a tasteless vegan vegetable straw.  Here’s what else went down over the weekend in fantasy hoops action, plus The 7 Ahead for week 19 (last week of the regular season!!!!):

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s unusual for teams to be clinching playoff spots this early in the season. The Warriors are on a historic pace to challenge the ’95-96 Bulls for the best single-season record in NBA history, at 72-10.

Because of this, the Spurs are flying under the radar, something that they seem to do every season. By beating the Pistons on Wednesday, the Spurs improved their home winning streak to 29 games and are now 51-9 on the season. That’s 17 straight 50+ win seasons. Absolutely incredible.

Marcus Morris (16 points, 4 rebounds, and 2 assists) the oldest Pistons’ starter was 8 years old when Tim Duncan (12 points and 8 rebounds) made his debut. And when Duncan is ready to call it a career, he has two young studs to continue the Spurs’ legacy: LaMarcus Aldridge and Kawhi Leonard.

Just like David Robinson and Duncan, Aldridge has played nicely along with Duncan. He grabbed a double-double against the Pistons with 23 points, 10 rebounds, and 3 assists. Meanwhile, the reigning Finals’ MVP, Leonard, posted a 27/6/5 line with 2 steals.

While the Warriors have a shot at 72-10, both the Warriors and Spurs are still a ways away from matching the Bulls’ record of 44 straight wins at home.

Now onto the other nightly notables:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The last Tuesday before the All-Star break featured five games spread all over the USA. From South Beach to NYC, Wisconsin to Texas, and finishing up in the Bay Area out west, we had a handful of contests that featured some big fantasy lines.

In lieu of a Thursday night double-header as a result of the abbreviated week, TNT snagged the two marquee games on Tuesday. First up was the Spurs and Heat featuring the Kawhi Leonard show. He served fantasy owners a generous helping of popcorn (23 points, nine boards, four dimes) with just the right amount of butter (three steals, a block, and a trey). Despite a few quiet games recently, you’re not moving Leonard for anyone outside the top-5.

Also jumping at 8pm were tilts between the Wizards and Knicks, and Celtics and Bucks. John Wall put on a show at the Garden, dropping 17 dimes to complement his team-high 28 points. He and backcourt mate, Bradley Beal combined for 54 points, five steals, eight triples, and only three turnovers. The Wizards needed every bit of it as they narrowly escaped New York with a three point win. Meanwhile, in Milwaukee, a wild and foul-filled last few seconds allowed the Bucks to steal one from the visiting Celts. Greg Monroe made his case for 6th Man of the Year as Jason Kidd decided it would be best for him to come off the bench on Tuesday. In 30 reserve minutes, Moose went off for 29/12/3/1/2. He was a team-best +11 and you have to wonder if him being so dominant as a reserve has Coach Kidd considering this as more than just a one game thing? So long as he’s getting the run, owners should continue to bank on the third round value he’s been returning on the season.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

At no point this season did I ever think that Markieff Morris would be getting the lead in an article…unless, maybe, it was because he killed a guy or something (leading victim candidates included a coach, a referee, or a reporter who spoke ill of his twin brother). Well, he got the lead and nobody died…that I’m aware of.

In his first game playing for interim head coach Earl Watson, ‘Kieff showed out to the tune of 30 points, 11 rebounds, six assists, a steal, and a pair of blocks. If that wasn’t worthy of a raised eyebrow or two, Morris also drained a three and shot 13-20 from the field in his 41 minutes. Hot damn.

Whether he’s actually interested in helping the Suns win games or simply trying to improve the value of his stock in an effort to facilitate a move out of the desert, it doesn’t really matter for fantasy purposes. If he’s going to get the run…if he’s going to keep his attitude in check…if he’s going to play with effort and focus…he needs to be on fantasy rosters. Trying to predict what kind of situation he’ll be in this time next month is likely a fool’s errand, but there is big time upside (as we just witnessed) when everything is kosher with Markieff. I wouldn’t give up anything of value or break your free agency bank account because this could be very temporary, but if you have some dead weight to drop, you could do a lot worse than having Morris occupy your last roster spot until the trade deadline.

Let’s take a look at what else shook down on a five-game Tuesday evening in the NBA…

Please, blog, may I have some more?