Everyone saw it coming. Everyone had it circled on their calendar. The epic in-state rivalry of the NBA’s best team going for their 16th straight win playing at home against… the second-worst team in the NBA. Of course it would be a nail-biter! The Heat went up big, but the Magic went on a 46-21 run and kept it tight until LeBron James’ game-winning layup. Good thing Nikola Vucevic had fouled out so there were no shot blockers left. The Magic certainly didn’t put a spell on the refs, racking up 30 fouls and two foul-outs to the Heat’s 17. Conspiracy! The Magic fouls were illusions! You don’t have time for my illusions! Tricks are what whores do for money. Or cocaine. LeBron better get some nice wedding presents from those home refs. You think Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert got invited? Be funny if Lebron sent him an invite with a -1. This is a fantasy basketball blog right? Hah, let’s get into the numbers from last night’s games:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’m starting to get really frustrated with those AT&T kid commercials where this douche asks four or five kids random crap, like “what’s better less or more?” or “would you rather be faster or slower?” In one of em he cuts the kid off who just wants to prove she can be funny like the convulsing three-year old too! He’s probably too buys doing blow with AT&T execs to have empathy. However, the way those kids act isn’t too dissimilar to how I would see NBA stars act in team meetings. Like imagine the same guy sitting with Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook ans asking, “what’s better, scoring more or less points?” “MOOORRREEEE!!!” in unison. Then Westbrook is like, “if you score more points you have more chance of being on Sportscenter and people will like you more and clown you less for singing along to Ke$ha in pre-game.” Clowned anyway! Good thing Westbrook is having an incredible season, including beating up the Lakers last night to the beat of his drum (if there’s a more apropos lyric from Ke$ha hell if I would know it) with a line of 15-29 FG 37 Pts 10 Rebs 5 Asts and 2 Stls. On top of that, only two turnovers. Even Kobe Bryant was givin’ props. If there was a Facebook throw down of NBA players claiming to be elite, this would be a good time for Westbrook to chime in. Let’s check out what else went down in a fairly light night of NBA action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Every year, there’s a handful of guys that are waiver wire whores and bounce back and forth between owners for spot starts. It’s like the freshman co-ed dorm; you feel entitled if you’re the first to have one of em riding your roster, but then you feel dirty if you claimed them next. Enter Jarrett Jack, who before settling into his probable NBA 6th Man Award role, got run off the bench, then a few starts, but never those solidified minutes. A shoulder injury a few weeks back had the last round of owners jumping ship, but since returning he’s finally ready for a long term commitment. So what if he gave rival owners a little handsy here and rub-a-dub there? Time for everyone to lock him up Elizabeth Smart style.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Guess who’s biiiizack, the Aussie Miiiiizack, aka Mr. never throw up a brick (shout out to beans). Andrew Bogut erupted on the scene like Mount Vesuvius in his return to action to the tune of 12 points, 8 boards, 2 assists, 1 steal, and 4 blocks. Are the Golden State Warriors now contenders?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Greetings readers! Any of you read or hear about Wes Welker’s wife bashing the F out of “Uncle” Ray Lewis on Facebook after her husband’s team was demolished by the Baltimore Ravens on Sunday? So what if he has 6 kids from 4 different girlfriends?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Spencer Hawes had 20 points, 9 rebounds, an assist, 3 steals and 5 blocks. He is averaging 13/6 over the past 2 weeks. I’m not sure how I feel about that, but his ownership is creeping up to the 50% mark.Please, blog, may I have some more?
People had grown increasingly frustrated with Robin Lopez. With Anthony Davis back, he saw a mere 15 minutes the day before, and in the past week, he was only averaging 7.5 PPG and 3.3 RPG. Well, Davis finished with 16/5/0 and a block while Lopez earned 22 points, 9 rebounds, an assist and 2 blocks.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Pau Gasol and the Lakers have had a train wreck of a season so far. Pau is seeing nearly all his numbers being below career average (12.6/8.9/3.5/0.5/1.2 with 42% FG and 76% FT) and having “knee tendinitis” to boot. As such, I had to move him down in the tiers because you can’t be a Victoria’s Secret model with those type of numbers.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Admit it, your palms were getting sweaty when you saw Jeremy Lin come off the bench the other day. He had 7 or fewer points in the prior 5 games. You felt a little ill. “I need some ginger ale,” you tried to say, but your voice was raspy.Please, blog, may I have some more?
As I mentioned last week, every Wednesday I will release tiers for G/F/C in rotating fashion. This early in the season, there won’t be too many changes unless dudes like Danny Granger or Brandon Rush go out for a lengthy amount of time.Please, blog, may I have some more?