Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there’ll be ThrAGNOF!  Full disclosure – I had to look up this song from that movie about a weird looking ginger chick and it’s about coming of age or something.  No, not Teeth!  Last night, an injury-ravaged, de-taloned Pelicans went out and shocked the Clippers.  Kevin Hart, apparently a big Clippers fan, got to travel with LA on a Ride Along I’m guessing.  When Jamal Crawford upchucked a three at the buzzer for the win, that arced so high it might’ve hit the Cowboys Stadium scoreboard, Hart started crying when it barely hit rim and got angrier than his little cameo in The 40-Year-Old Virgin.  Anyway – Anthony Morrow was a big factor in the upset win, going full-ThrAGNOF 27/5/0/0/1 with two treys.  Scoring is the name of his game!  Always a high-volume shooter, Morrow just has never stuck in a big role as he doesn’t do anything else.  Dude, if he was on a D’Antoni Lakers team, he might break the NBA!  With Brian Roberts with a bruised knee, Eric Gordon with an absence of knees, and Austin Rivers with the sniffies, the Pels were without three of their bigger remaining scorers.  Looking ahead to tomorrow, the Pelicans get a beignet of a matchup against the former New Orleans Jazz and all three could miss again.  So if you need some treys and a little scoring upside in the deeper leagues, it’s that time of year when the scrubs will come out tomorrow!  Here’s what else I saw last night in NBA action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s been a year long punching bag.  Larry Drew sucks, he has no idea how to grow a young team, and because he plays guys different minutes every night the Bucks are atrocious and have no cohesion.  But that’s nothing new, as he was awarded the first Razzball Worst NBA Coach Razzie.  It’d be a wonder if he could do anything right!  Yesterday, I said Ramon Sessions might be the best player on that team (and he got a ridiculous 20 minutes to show for it Sunday), and Larry Screw actually paid attention to my advice!  Sessions started last night against the Clips, played 44 minutes, making the most of it.  Shot a ridiculous 13-21 (2-3 3PTM) for 28/6/7.  While this game was nice, and I maintain he’s probably the best fantasy asset on the Bucks right now, he’s not necessarily the best pickup.  The Bucks have only two more games this week, Thursday against the Lakers (which you obviously love) then Sunday against the Heat (not so much).  Plus it’s the Bucks and we all know how Larry Screwballs can jack things up.  I picked him up in one league just to lock down that Thursday game since it’s a light slate with only four games.  If you can afford to do that, Sessions is your man.  Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy basketball action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

When the mythical beast of the Goromotaro was awakened, we’ve seen very few bigs able to top the 20/20 plateau.  It’s what hindsight is!  Then Anthony Davis goes out and drops a 40-burger topped with multi-cat sauce.  “Welcome to King Burger where you can have it your way but don’t get crazy!”  Brow went too crazy!  40/21/3/1/3.  Sassy.  Almost a rainbow, definitely a Goromotaro, and certainly spiking the Brow value into probably the 3rd pick next year.  I said early on in the year I’d go top-5, but he’s locked in the three hole now.  You can set it and forget it.  Plus he’s a redonk 29 for his last 29 at the stripe.  Just so valuable that one of the big Boards-N-Blocks can actually hit free throws.  So in drafts next year, you can pass on Andre Drummond and DeAndre Jordan later on.  Plus you won’t be looking at your roster and taunting it like Katt Williams when pulled over by Shaq.  “No – could you hit a free throw!”  Here’s what else I saw over the weekend:

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The injury bug hath claimed another victim, with LaMarcus Aldridge suffering a tough fall in San Antonio on his lower back/coccyx.  What are you doing to us fantasy gods?!  While reports right now is it was only a lower back contusion, you never want to hear “needed a wheelchair to get around the arena.”  Unless you’re Professor X!  Yikes.  As Slim is putting out early this afternoon, the Blazers have a mammoth of a 5-week slate coming up in the second week of the playoffs.  So if you’re an Aldridge owner, I would just thank my blessings, or count my lucky stars, or something like that, if L.A. can indeed give you all five of those.  In the immediacy, Thomas Robinson looks like an interesting pickup for some flashy upside.  “Oh camon JB, Thomas Robinson again!?”  Yup!  And I said it last time and he had a 14/18/2/0/2 in there!  I serious doubt Aldridge will suit up again this week, giving T-Rob some serious run.  We’ll obviously get some more detailed updates throughout the day, so sacrifice a shot of rum to Jobu, or rub your bunions against the carpet, whatever you do to appease the fantasy gods to get a healthy Aldridge back for the postseason.  Here’s what else went down in fantasy action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ohhhhh, fringe-fantasy worthy Duke players…  I’m not a fan!  Belle Knox isn’t a fan!  Is she fringe-fantasy worth?  Plausibly.  Whilst you search her in Incognito mode, Kyle Singer went all multi-cat in a near-rainbow explosion for 11/7/3/5/1.  He even stole DeMarcus Cousins‘ parking spot!  Fight, fight!  While I’m not necessarily the biggest Singler fan (which I’m sure you can ascertain by the title and if you’ve read all year), he does have something going for him that all Lakers and Bucks would give their left nut for.  Consistent minutes.  After the All-Star break, Singler is averaging 34 minutes a game.  And hey, he needs every single[r] one of them to stay fantasy relevant.  Burn!  But relevant indeed, as his slash in that time is 11.7/3.1/1.6/1.1/0.6.  Not setting the world on fire, but for your fringe-guys – especially in weekly leagues – giving you a little of something is better than a lot of nothing.  Award winning advice right there!  Along with the multi-cat, is at 1.5 treys and 82% FT shooting since the break.  Dibbling in this, dabbling in that, and next thing you know he’s someone you trust more than, I dunno, maybe even Brandon Jennings who couldn’t find the hole last night.  “Tie in a joke from the beginning, tie in a joke from the beginning!”  Shut up 13-year-old inner monologue!  Here’s what else I saw in NBA action from last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Oh man.  Am I sorry if anyone had to watch Battle: Los Angeles last night.  I hated that movie and actually would rather have watched that again than the atrocity in Staples.  Reggie Miller was having so much fun dogging that game.  I was saying that it was like watching an All-Star game at the office, then either Miller or Kerr then said the same thing!  Followed by, “well, except all the All-Stars are on one team!”  Lakers burn!  El Burro, I hope you’re around, because I’d love a rant from this game from a true Lakers fan.  Sure there have been worse NBA blowouts, but man, that was straight up Cornell going on the road to Wichita State.  Even that would be a lot better to watch!  I’m not taking much to heart fantasy-wise in the 48-point romp of blue/red over yellow/purple, but my main takeaway was that Kendall Marshall still got a 7/4/7 line in 24 minutes and Jordan Farmar was awful in his 21 minutes.  I’m a big Farmar hater, and think Marshall is actually a little underrated right now.  Marshall as we all know was playing well in big minutes earlier in the year, and I think can get back to the 30ish range.  And even if he falls short of that, the dimebags will afloweth like a Denver dispensary.  Cash cow business for the Girl Scout cookie industry as well!  Probably should’ve had a few Girl Scouts paroling the Staples Center last night.  “Eat your pities away, Lakers fans!”  “A peanut butter delight won’t disappoint you at all!”  Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy hoops:

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Yup, bringing that back!  Pretty much my reaction looking at my line-ups last night where I endured a long broken hand heal fest.  Loved me some Kawhi Leonard heading into the season, and even though Pop is still keeping Kawhi’s minutes from full climax, 7-10 last night (2-2 3PTM 2-2 FT) 18/5/3/4/3 in 26 rainbow-licious minutes.  Since returning from the broken hand, Kawhi has gone full multi-cat-hard hitting all 5 cats in all 4 games, a trey in each one, and 9-9 from the FT line.  This is what I envisioned all season!  I’m thinking Kawhi shoulda punched something early in preseason and this would’ve been what we got all year.  It’s going to be fairly tough to pry Kawhi from anyone else’s roster given his torrid return, but can’t hurt to float some stuff out there if the Pop-factor is still haunting any Kawhi owners.  If you’re making your final push for your playoff rosters and can still make a move or two, Kawhi has 4-game weeks in the semis and the championship.  So I for one think you can cry “Kawhi Kawhi Kawhi!” all the way home.  “Thanks Mrs. H…”  My name is JB!  Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Wow, what a wild night across the NBA-osphere.  Tons of injuries, lots of scrubs getting some burn, if I didn’t know better, I woulda though it was late March.  But no!  I guess we can start with that other JB as Jerryd Bayless moved into the starting line-up and lit up the Hawks for a season-high 29 Pts.  Shooting 12-21, it was pretty ThrAGNOFfy for 29/2/2/1/0 with 5 treys.  Why you avoid the 3-point specialists on draft day!  Who knows what preppy-boy Brad Stevens is going to do next, and while getting the Pacers on Saturday isn’t a great matchup, home games vs. GS, BKN, then DET next week could be a 10 3PTM week for JB.  And while he’s not as multi-cat as the real JB over here, we can all grab the band if we need some scoring.  I’ll wear a headband as well for the moral support!  Here’s what else went down on a very busy night of injuries and surprise games in the NBA:

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The trade deadline is here!  Today!  And even though we had a few trades already go down, more are sure to proliferate through the league office.   Hopefully the NBA has faster fax machines than the NFL.  I mean, seriously on that Elvis Dumervil thing?!  BREAKING NEWS!  The Heat trade LeBron James to Cleveland for Anthony Bennett, but the trade was sent just over a month too late.  Reports indicate it was sent on April 1st.  Hah!  Sent from some hooligan named David Stern…  You’ve been punked Adam Silver!  Back to reality, we’ve seen Marcus Thornton get traded to the grandpa Nets for Jason Terry and Reggie Evans and Steve Blake get all his fantasy value decapitated Hershel-Walking Dead style by getting shipped to the Warriors for Kent Bazemore and MarShon Brooks.  The takeaways thus far is you can cut Blake in virtually all leagues, and in deeper leagues I actually think Reggie Evans could start at some point as the Kings 4.  Jason Thompson is one of the many rumored on the trading block which would open up that role.  I’m not saying Evans would play 30 minutes or anything, but could maybe average 8 boards a game while doing nothing else in the typical Evans fashion.  So when I say deeper leagues, I mean deeeeeeper.  We’ll recap the rest of the trades in tomorrow morning’s piece as well as in the comments throughout the afternoon to help with your fantasy moves.  Here’s what else went down in NBA action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

And we’re back baby!  The All-Star break in Nawleans has come and gone, with a disappointing dunk contest, no bounce passes in the skills contest (yeah, what was up with that Prez?!) and All-Star jerseys that made the finale look like an adult rec league game on a Thursday night.  “Help, I think Stanley has a hernia!”  I was constantly thinking to myself about the Major League quote, but the opposite.  Brian Scalabrine or Matt Bonner coming into their first practice with sleeves and a hat on, and their coaches were like, “We don’t wear caps and sleeves at this level son!”  Sure made that coach look stupid on Sunday night!  And if you’re a Cleveland fan, you’ve got to be thinking, “Crikey wtf is going on!?” after seeing Kyrie Irving and Dion Waiters go off in their respective ASB games over the weekend.  Then to see neither of them do anything against the 76ers last night!  To be fair, the Cavs let their scrubs do all their damage in a blowout.  So I guess if Cavs are thinking crikey, Philly fans are thinking, “if we don’t win 20 games this year, I’m giving up cheesesteaks!”  Drastic?  Probably.  Be liking asking me to give up that delicious BBQ.  Now I’m all sorts of hungry… How did this get into food?  Let’s just dive right in to last night’s return to action, like how you’d dive into an all-you-can-eat Southern food buffet with mac & cheese, hush puppies, chopped BBQ, whole BBQ, biscuits & gravy, and then, and then…:

Please, blog, may I have some more?