It went down sweetly, like an Italian opera or an Italian ice. Whichever best suits your personality. From out of nowhere, DeMarcus Cousins decided he was unhappy with the team’s direction. Makes sense. It’s been four games into a lockout-shortened season in which 75 percent of the league is still grossly out of shape, why wouldn’t a sophomore demand an immediate shot at a championship. So the Kings made a public announcement that this is what Cousins wanted. Coach wants to let him loose, told him to stay home last night. But the GM says he won’t trade him, Cousins’ agent denied he ever demanded a trade and his teammates claim they don’t know what’s going on (and with Marcus Thornton, at least, I believe him). Maybe the kid who fell at least three spots in last year’s draft because of his maturity issues will play nice and make it back into the lineup for game five. Maybe everyone who dropped J.J. Hickson last week, pick him right back up today. Reports are that all signs of Sacramento’s starting center were removed from the arena’s highlight reel last night and any time a head coach makes a public statement, you can bet shizz is real. But Cousins was the team’s top draft pick last year and a cornerstone of this team’s rebuilding, I’d be surprised if they just give him away for Charlie Villanueva or Jordan Hill. Anyway, Hickson and Hayes get huge bumps – permanent or temporary – until this thing straightens out. Here’s a little less drama, but a lot more action from yesterday’s fantasy basketball roster of games.
Zach Randolph – Z-Bo started the season with a sickly 10/6 performance, then improved to 24/12, then 23/9. Then in last night’s game against Chicago … well, he only scored 2 pts and grabbed 3 rbd before leaving with a sprained knee. Z-Woe. None of us thought that’s where this story was going. Dante Cunningham is the quick add (he’s the only one left) if Randolph misses time, but it doesn’t appear he will.
J.J. Redick – 21/3/3 last night. He’s averaging, 15/2.5/2 and a pair of threes in each of his first five games of the season. Grab him while he’s hot, his 24 PER and .545 FG% won’t last forever.
Jerryd Bayless – Bayless and his left sprained ankle missed yesterday’s game and probably the next one. Jose Calderon is the big winner, but if you own Bayless, it’s because someone else already owns Calderon.
Lou Williams – Averaging 20/3/4, with 2.5 3ptm a game. You feel that tingling? That’s Screwy Looey wooing you all over again. He calls it “looing.” Don’t fight it. Feel it.
Omri Casspi – 9/1/4, with a 3ptm. Sadly, his best game of the young season. He’s averaged 13/6.5/2 and only three extra minutes in the first two years of his career. I’m confident that Casspi will be an ebb ‘n’ flow-type all season. Why should you care about this? Because he hasn’t topped 9/5/4 in any game so far. So take a guess where he’s at?
D.J. White – Averaging 25+ mpg along with .571 FG%/11.3 pts/5 rbd/1.3 blk. That’s deep league gold.
Michael Beasley – Cut his finger down to the bone, received five stitches and might miss some time because of it. If that happens, Wes Johnson is the add. Followed by Derrick Williams, and Anthony Tolliver. Also, it’s possible the Timberwolves might play Way … oh, fudge it. WhenIsRubioStarting!
Kobe Bryant – 6-for-28, 1-for-8 3ptm. Oh. Wait, what? Woof.
Matt Barnes – Started the last two games in place of Metta World Peace. He ended with the inauspicious 2/2/1, with a steal and two block-line. He’s starting, but I wouldn’t pick him up. It’s your team and in the end, you gotta listen to whichever song your heart sings loudest.
Al Harrington – Highest PER of his career, highest URtg of his career, and highest career FG% by five percentage points. He’s a great option to package in a 2-for-1. He’s also like Rachel Leigh Cook in “She’s All That,” only instead of shedding bifocals to become beautiful, he shed Kenyon Martin.
Greg Stiemsma – He’s turning into a one-tool blocks machine. He had three blocks last night and 10 in his first three. He’s so blocksure that I won’t even bother mentioning his complete lack of everything else … any more … after this.
Rashard Lewis – Shooting .385 (15-for-39) on the season. No one knows why the Wizards are allowing him to do this. And by “knows,” I mean “cares.” #Wizproblems
Greivis Vasquez – Came out of nowhere to average 6.5 assists in his last two games. This was only his sixth and seventh NBA game he’s had at least five dimes, yet he’s already surpassed Al-Farouq Aminu in games played in which he’s made a positive impact (1).
Randy Foye – Started in place of Chauncey Billups. Lob City’s next game is Wednesday, Billups is likely to be back in the starting lineup by then. Or “limeup,” if you’re a citrus drink angling for a league sponsorship.
Gerald Wallace – 0-for-5 and no points. Clearly, this was brought on by guilt.