I’ve got the ring in the cake.  The scoreboard operator has got it cued up for the 2nd quarter under-8 timeout.  The plane with some really carcinogenic toxins is ready to pollute the atmosphere in a “Will U Marry Me?” loopy smokestream.

An unsung contributor this year, DeMarre Carroll racked up another under-the-radar line last night for 14 Pts, 11 Reb, 3 Ast, 3 Stl, 2 3PTM, and a partridge in a pear tree!  No TO, and other than blocks really hits all the Silver Bells and whistles.  Hitting a career best 1.6 treys a game, it’s a Christmas miracle his FG% is at 46%.  The dimes don’t do much either, but there’s no reason not to to Sleigh Ride him while he’s hitting most of the cats this hard.  Even a Silent Night or two won’t scare me away, and at only 61% ownership in Yahoo, I feel like there’s still a lot of leagues where he could bring Joy to the World.  So sing a holiday carol for DeMarre, and even though nothing is too sexy, I felt like I needed Hark! The Herald Angels Sing (full disclosure, I had to look up a list of Christmas songs for this bit, I’m such a Grinch).  Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy basketball:

C.J. Miles – Ummmmm, wtf mate!?  How Slim or I didn’t think of Miles going off for 30 is beyond me…  30/4/2 with 7 treys, erstwhile making only 1-4 FT.  Move to behind the arc for FTs, C.J.!  Before last night, Miles was shooting 29% from the field and 23.8% from downtown.  It wasn’t the regression fairies, but the progression fairies!

Lavoy Allen – Three straight days this week we’ve seen bad teams bench their starters and run the second-unit down the stretch, and last night twas the Pacers trying to catch the Clip.  David West took a big hit as did Solomon Hill, with the big beneficiary a huge game from Allen, as Roy Hibbert also slogged through some foul issues.  14/13/2 for ya boy, Lavoy, shooting 7-11 in 36 minutes.  Luis Scola also posted a nice dubdub (12/14), but I think Allen gets good PT for a while, especially with Ian Mahinmi out.

Rodney Stuckey – Even with a heavy dose of the second unit, Stuckey still got 32 minutes for 10/2/6/1/0.  It’s a lower ceiling than when I board a small airplane, but it’s getting the job done.

Chris Paul 17/8/15.  He can torch anyone, but a point-less Pacers team makes it easier!

Kyle O’Quinn – Even though his FG% sucked KOQ, 10/6/4/1/2 in a near-rainbow with no TO.  Chipped in a trey!  I’m so happy with this start, I could shower myself in whisky.  Nikola Vucevic was a game-time call, then out with his bad back, so don’t be beholden to O’Quinn for too much longer.

Elfrid Payton Well, looking like he can come off the Shelfrid in some leagues!  29 minutes for 12/6/4/1/0 shooting 6-15 and only a single TO.  His sub-50% FT shooting is worth some time back on the Shelfrid though!  And in this new bench role, the assists seem capped in the 4-6 range, which is fine and all, but he really kills your %s (sub-40 FG% as well) if you needed an extra PG.

Nene Missed a game, but back last night for a decent 21 bench minutes of 12/6/1/0/1 shooting 6-8.  Meh, I’m still holding Kris Humphries over him.

Rajon Rondo Tripdub again!  So his last three games go tripdub, 21 minutes of nothing and getting benched, then another tripdub… Oh, you sly, smiley cutey you…  12/10/10 last night in one of the boringest triple-doubles ever, but you still likey!

Kelly Olynyk vs. Tyler Zeller – Ugh, neither is any good for ya right now.  At least, on any consistent game-to-game basis.  Killed two C with one stone right there!

Michael Kidd-Gilchrist – The statline is a little boring, but in his 19 minutes of 9/6/0/0/0 looked really good and hit all 3 FT.  Had a funky euro step and-one, a layup barely rimmed out on a nasty penetration in transition, and he had another and-one called correctly by the ref right next to it, but the other one on the other side of the court called a charge and they ruled disputing calls makes it a jump ball.  Awful officiating this game.  All of this to say, MKG looked great and should ease his way into 30 minutes with the energy he brings, especially compared to the low amount of hair Gerald Henderson brings…

Michael Carter-Williams Near quaddub!  8/10/9/0/2.  That’s only 3!  Then add the 9 TO.  Wowser!  Yesterday, I mentioned how Memphis had 5 team TO in their win… Just for a fun little comparison there.  At least he stayed off the FT line!

K.J. McDaniels – Kamikaze Juice!  Shot only 3-11 (1-7 from deep), but yet another rainbow for 10/4/2/2/2.  Give the Kansas Juice more than 23 minutes, Brown!

Robert Covington Another usable game, going 9/5/0/1/1, but 3 TO and 3-11 shooting.  Tony Wroten will still shake-up the minutes a tad, and who knows what…

Brandon Davies – …an actual trade could do?!  Yes, there’s a trade already!  Sixers get Andrei Kirilenko to… I dunno, drink vodka? And Davies head to the Nets.  Which is ironic, since he won’t be putting many basketballs in those…

Al Horford Hopefully you read earlier this week, where after his big line Monday night I said sell high!  11/7/1/1/0 last night, as he returns to blah.  “…and I’m not your blah!”

Kevin Garnett – Sustained a foot injury, but X-Rays were negative.  In that he has no bones left in his feet…

Mason Plumlee Gee willikers, how can someone be so bad all the sudden?!  5/8/2/0/3 is usable and all, but 3 TO, shot 3-11 FG, shot 2-5 FT, and fouled out in 28 minutes.  Professor Plumlee was killed by – fantasy owners, on the internet, with their trolling.  With KG now joining Rolo at the hospice, Plumlee is still gonna get minutes for those blocks.

Taj Gibson “Start me more often, Tibs!”  31 minutes for 11/10/3/0/6 shooting 5-9.  I only had Taj in one league, and glad I held strong through his kankle!  Joakim Noah has his own kankle, so there could be a couple more starts coming for the Gibby.

Nikola Mirotic – With no Noah, Mirotic is going to get that usable run, even though he was only 10/6/1/0/1 in 21 minutes last night.  No-minutes-Mirotic, now back to some-minutes-Mirotic!

Monta Ellis – Well, so long for that elbow issue!  Scored 13 Pts in the final 5 minutes ending up with a 26/4/5/1/1 line on 11-19 shooting (2-2 3PTM 2-3 FT).  Somebody get the Mavs trainer that’s helping him with this sore elbow to some MLB teams!

Jameer Nelson – Sat last night with a shoulder injury.  What scoring a season-high 18 the night before will do!  Nelson isn’t used to making baskets…  J.J. Barea gets the start and was terrible, paving way for a 20/2/3 line for Devin Harris.  After seeing all that go down, Raymond Felton shame ate a whole pizza in the locker room.

Jrue Holiday You’re my boy, Jrue!  30/1/10/3/0 shooting 12-22 FG (5-9 3PTM, 1-2 FT) with only 2 TO.  Jrue and Brow dropping 30 burgers!  They wore their lucky Pelican Briefs this game.

Andrew Wiggins What in the wide world of upsets?!  The Wolves shocking the Blazers last night, led by Wiggins for 23/10/4/2/0 shooting 9-16.  Brutal at the stripe for 5-10, but looked really really good out there for the portions I watched.  Pretty good get for the woulda-been-walking Kevin Love!

Corey Brewer – Unreal game from the Brew Crew as well, and of course these last two guys against me in REL.  It’s crazy the anti-luck I get!  I need to rub Kyle O’Quinn all over my body to get some luck of the Irish…  19/8/5/5/0 shooting 4-11, but a crazy 10-10 FT.  Dude was shooting 66.2% from the stripe before this game!  Somebody was putting some Chronicle mind-spin on the ball for him…

Zach LaVine The line isn’t great (10/4/5/0/0 with 5 TO), but man, dude is fast.  Had one drive where he took it end-to-near-end finishing with a little pass in like 2 seconds.  Dwyane Wade had been nicknamed “Flash” (which he discarded), but no one has ever been “The Flash”.  New nickname bequeathed!  LaVine is The Flash!

Jeff Adrien – Yo, Adrien!  8/11/2/0/2 in 26 awesome minutes, playing mad aggressive.  He could be starting for Houston if they held onto him!  Makes no sense, still to this day…  After a big debut on December 1st, hadn’t done much, but outplayed both in performance and in minutes Anthony Bennett.  Worth a look in 16ers, at the very least.  And did his damage playing some out-of-position C behind foul-troubled Gorgui Dieng…  Muy impressed-o.

Nicolas Batum Man, his shot is so ice cold!  1-6 FG (1-5 3PTM), but got ya a rainbow line for 5/3/6/2/4.  At least there’s something in the contribution box!

Carmelo Anthony Ended up sitting out with the bum knee, and this game was atrocious.  Tim Hardaway Jr. put up 23 pretty empty points, and Amar’e Stoudemire was limited by foul trouble/Knicks getting blown out by the Spurs B team.  If there’s anything optimistic for Knicks fans, it’s that their record is 4-20!

Kawhi Leonard Yikes, a hand injury came out of nowhere – X-rays negative, but it’s bad enough to get an MRI today.  Sadly, it’s the same hand he broke last year… Holding our breath something funky isn’t going on there.  While Slim’s Minny scrubs go off, I lose Kawhi.  Sorry to whine more, I need Daily Notes as my therapy!

Kyle Anderson Slo Mo sighting!  Next time the Spurs play the Wolves, if Slo Mo has to gaurd The Flash, the universe might implode…  9/5/3/2/0 with no TO in 23 minutes for Slo Mo, shooting 4-5 hitting a trey.  Deliberate and careful, he’s a perfect Spurs-ian!

Marco Belinelli – On a little scoring binge the past three games with 22 last night, but no Tony Parker, Tim Duncan or Manu Ginobili either so not much to see here.  About to go from hot to cold pizza.

Kenneth Faried – Another shocking upset!  The Nugs crushed the Heat, even with Faried coming off the bench.  22 solid minutes for 13/8/1 shooting 4-9 FG and 5-6 FT.  No other big standouts for the Nugs – nice team win.

Mario Chalmers – I’m going to repose the question to Slim this afternoon on the Pod, but I have no problem moving on from Mario Chalmers.  Given it was a blowout loss, but 11/2/0/0/0 with 2 TO in 15 minutes?!  Give me Luigi Datome over that!

Josh McRoberts – Ermahgerd!  As soon as we start to buy in, is limpy pre-game and has to sit with a bum knee.  Eating too many milksteaks!  Shouldn’t have eaten that hot pocket he found in the garbage, it had knee soreness in it…

Harrison Barnes Heat check!  20/6/2/2/0 on 7-9 FG (3-4 3PTM 3-3 FT).  He three treys in the past five games before last night.  Don’t get too excited!

Andrew Bogut – No surprise that he sat with the bum knee, but it was a little surprising they started Festus Ezeli.  Festivus comes early for the Ezeli family!  Marreese Speights only gets 20 minutes for 15/8/0/0/2, but is still very usable.  Imagine what 36 minutes would’ve done as the starting C, Kerr!

Patrick Beverley He’s so dreamy… 12/6/6/2/0 hitting two treys, playing a whopping 40 minutes.  Guess the hammy is OK!  Be sure he’s owned even in your shallow leagues.

Donatas Motiejunas – Solid showing from D-Mo, going 18/7/2 with a swat, shooting 8-17.  3+ TO the past four games is concerning, but with no light at the end of the tunnel for Terrence Jones, he’s close to a must own in all leagues.


Streamers/Cheap DraftKings Picks:

Reggie Evans (7% owned) – We all know the one thing he can do, and it’s bag his own groceries.  Maybe not the best DraftKings play, but I grabbed Evans in one of my RCLs where I am just a handful of boards down.  Reb boost!

Jason Terry (16% owned) – Was brutal last night, I know, but still led the Rockets’ bench in minutes by far, and tonight against the Kings I think he can have another double-digit Pts, multi-3PTM multi-steal game.  Only two games tonight, so it’s Slim Pickens out there, but I could see JET being a good get.


Hopefully everyone has [mostly] survived the injury bug through this week, and we’ll see you again tomorrow morning!