From the depth of 90s video games, crossed with the beastly rancor of Joakim Noah (can you use rancor as an adjective? is that even the right part of speech?!), it’s the Goromotaro! An epic performance of 20/20 needed a name, but ever since Joakim pulled off a few back in the day, he hasn’t scored 20 points in like… a million years. Hasn’t yet this year! Shocking he’s scored double digits in only 2 of the past 19… But I digress…
The way things have looked the past month, Goromotaro might need a name or image change to feature Hassan Whiteside! Dude is hitting the glass harder than Cheech at a bong-only party. 24/20/0/3/2 last night for his first career Goro. Not that he hasn’t been close! Had a 23/16 and a 16/24 in there. Unreal! There’s only been 23 20+ board games this year, and Whiteside is two of them and has only 8 starts! Whiteside has the 7th Goro this year (the others belonging to Kenneth Faried, Zach Randolph, DeAndre Jordan, Andre Drummond, Pau Gasol and… you ready for this…? Jason Thompson!), and as good as those guys are (well, minus Thompson), I’d put good money on Whiteside being the first with multiple. He’s also 73% from the stripe his past 13 games! Getting a little unreal out there, and the 4 TO last night were very fluky – especially one on an inbounding violation that was totally Norris Cole‘s fault. Cole tried handing it back to Whiteside after he tossed it in during an odd, weird lack of awareness that cost the Heat the game! I’m pretty sure it was a play ran to perfection from the Larry Drew playbook… Here’s what else went down last night across the NBA:
George Hill – Maybe not so over the hill! Returned to the starting line-up in those sexy 90s Pacers unis for 20/3/6/0/1 on 8-12 FG. Hit a trey, but only 3-8 FT?! Might take your FT% six feet under. Worth owning in virtually all leagues, nice to see 26 minutes as well.
Ian Mahinmi – Had a bad ankle sprain, and it just hasn’t been his year… Likely a lengthy absence, the less-injured Lavoy Allen could be interesting again in deepers when he’s ready.
D.J. Augustin – A little bit back down to Earth for 12/2/6/0/0 with only one trey. Couldn’t handle that George Hill on D!
Kentavious Caldwell-Pope – Checked out after 3 minutes with a sore Achilles, stayed on the bench for a bit and got worked on before officially ruled out. Geez, this is what being a total KCP addict will do to you! I buy in, he plays bad, he plays better I buy in again, he disappears again and I swear him off, then he plays some of his best ball all year then gets hurt. I need multiple PBRs to get through these KCPs!
Jodie Meeks – Would be really interesting in daily if KCP misses a few games. Only 13/1/5 last night with a couple of treys, but interesante.
Mike Scott – Great Scott! Holy Schnikes! I just snorted PBR out of my nose! This dunk over Bradley Beal had Mike Scott trending on Twitter! I thought it was some Office marathon on TV or something… Doesn’t do much in his 14 minutes fantasy-wise, but posterizing dunks should become a stat…
DeMarre Carroll – Back into the starting lineup as expected after a game eased in off the bench, and was his normal Caroll-ish self for 14/2/0/1/0 with 3 treys.
Marcin Gortat – Sure a matchup against Al Horford the way he’s been playing is no easy feet, but the Ten Foot Pole looked more like the Ten Inch Pole with a 12/9/2/0/1 line with 3 TO and fouled out in 29 minutes. Hey, Marcin, it’s not a slam, ten inches is still really big!
John Wall – Tripdub flirt! 24/7/9/1/0 hitting 3 treys. After 1.3 3PTM a game last year, they’ve been perking back up lately even though he was only at 0.8 before last night. Coupled with adding 1.6 AST at the cost of only 0.1 TO, Wall’s been studly and even improving.
Jusuf Nurkic – The Jamba Jus is back! Shoved around the Celtics like the Roman Empire! History slam! 14/7/2/1/3 hitting 4-7 from the field and all 6 FT. Still only played 21 minutes as he continues to get all conditioned and all, and both teams played small for long stretches.
Danilo Gallinari – It is what ThrAGNOFs are, living and dying by the trey! 1-9 from the field, missed all 5 treys, for a 7/7/1/0/0 line.
Jared Sullinger – Somebody get this guy a planner! Late to shootaround and cost him another start. Sully still played well for 14/7/4 with a couple of treys, but he’s starting to peeve everyone off, Even Stevens.
Marcus Smart – Whoa, Rondo clone! 4/10/8/3/0 in a very Rondo-esque line. Even in the %s! Shot 2-6 from the field and missed both FT. Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery!
Jarrett Jack – Slim’s super-villain! Another couple of treys and a steal for a 24/4/6/1/0 line with only 2 TO. Beating the Raps too! His level of play might make him an even more intriguing trade target than DWill!
Deron Williams – Speaking of, 33 minutes (ummm…?) of 11/3/6/0/0 and no treys. It’s fine if you wanna roll the dice, but much rather have George Hill or Smart.
Alan Anderson – Looks entrenched in that starting 2 role and went 22/5/0/0/0 with 3 treys. ThrAGNOF!
Terrence Ross – Tried to fire up the Craptors off the bench, but twastn’t enough! 23/3/0/0/1 hitting 5 treys. ThrAGNOF!
Russell Westbrook – Dude, after he picked up a block, the on-court mics were catching all his shizz talking smack and it sounded like a Run The Jewels song! 45/6/6/1/1 in a monster game. Hey, at least some fantasy owners are benefiting from Kevin Durant never able to play!
Serge Ibaka – Talk about turning it around! Was 1-4 from the field with only one block through the first half if memory serves, but hit all 5 shots in the 2nd half with another 6 swats for 13/6/1/0/7. And another trey! If these outbursts get the blocks closer to 3, his mix of treys and blocks will be saucy even if it costs you those boards and FG%.
Tyreke Evans – Talk about costing you FG%! 5-20 from the field for 11/7/7/2/0. Meh, sometimes you really do wonder to yourself if the goal is regulation size (or what?)!
Eric Gordon – Also laid a brickhouse, but another 7 dimes his way. Even though neither are PG, the Pels sans-Jrue Holiday are running a solid combo-guard system. Taking notes yet, Miami!?
Jimmy Butler – Beast as usual, but couldn’t score 3 more?! Only 27 in another close call from my 30-point challenge pick… Fiddlesticks! Yes, that’s the F word I used…
Donatas Motiejunas – D-Mo, gimme some mo! Dubdubbed for 15/10/1 hitting 7-15 FG, no treys in this one, but filling in the big man void admirably. David Robertson just perked up and is like, “did someone say Admiral?!”
Josh Smith – Ewwww, really? Big line for a 9/13/4/2/2 rainbow and didn’t have a TO. Shot only 3-11, continues to take treys for no reason (1-4) and can’t hit FT (2-5). I’m mostly annoyed that a “nice” game like this means Terrence Jones will continue to be babied back into the rotation. Raymond Felton just perked up and is like, “did someone say baby back ribs?!”
Brandon Knight – Whewwwww, better late than never! Torched the Lakers late in the 4th and in OT to wrap up with a nasty 24/7/8/1/0 line with only 2 TO. Knight was 2-10 to start the game with no treys! Ends up 7-17 hitting 4-7 from deep. He’s so good…
Khris Middleton – The Duchess was even better! 21/7/7/3/0 with no TO and hit 7-13 with a trey. Given this was a cakewalk of a matchup against the Lakers, the Bucks had to rally. Nice to see Duchess and…
Giannis Antetokounmpo – …a big part of it! 25/6/1/1/2 hitting 10-14 FG and 5-5 FT. Your new Bucks Mt. Rushmore! Well, for this year at least, we’ll pencil Jabari Parker in as face #4… Sorry O.J. Mayo! Although his trey with 0.5 secs left sending it into OT was pretty crucial….
Carlos Boozer – 28/9/4 and I need some booze. Hit 13-21 and I buy this about as much as I’d buy Enron stock.
Ed Davis – Gobbledygook! As in, gobbled up dem boards! 7/20/3/0/1 and should see good run while Jordan Hill is out. My boy Tarik Black is officially voted off the “JB illogically supports you” island. 16 minutes of 5/4/1/0/0 as the starter with 2 TO and 1-4 FT. Welcome back to the pine, Mr. Black!
Wayne Ellington – 5 treys in a 19/2/2/0/0 line. ThrAGNOF!
Swaggy P – Where’s all this Nick Young love coming from? Had a couple “add Young” queries. 16/3/0/0/0 with 2 TO last night, hitting a couple of treys. There’s a reason why ThrAGNOF has “NO!” in it!
Jordan Clarkson – Ewwww, the epic ups and downs of a raw PG… 2/2/3/0/0 with 3 TO in 23 bad minutes. If you grabbed him in a deeper though, you know this is one of those ebbs to the flows.
Ricky Rubio – Mi amor! My Latin Lover for 8/3/9/2/0 in 24 minutes hitting 6-8 FT. It’s not MVP caliber, but awesome to see the dimes and the aggression getting to the stripe! Of course it helps all 3 Heat PG don’t know what defense is.
Kevin Martin – Kmart making the comeback! Dropped a 30-burger for 30/3/3/2/0 and 4 treys. Ughhhh, didn’t like seeing it coincided with Andrew Wiggins only going 6/5/1/0/1, but I don’t have any worries that there can’t be some coexisting canoodling.
Mo Williams – 10/10 getting a dimebag. Meh, as Rubio builds up, Mo can be left on the flo.
Tobias Harris – “Tobias, you no-longer blowhard!” 23/10/6 hitting 9-13 FG and 3-4 from deep. See, Vaughn, when you start Harris you can keep up even with good teams!
Elfrid Payton – Nice bounceback for the rook going 14/6/9/1/0. Another rough, rough game at the stripe (2-6), but I guess with only the 1 TO you’ll take it.
Victor Oladipo – Yikes, another rough one for no-RainbOladipo. 14/6/2/2/0 hitting only 5-21 and 5 TO. Steals going down, dimes going down, bad playoff sched… I’m out!
Manu Ginobili – Well, of course I tout his career-high assist rate and he tanks it with 9 dimes in 5 games. Bounced back with a dimebag yesterday though! 13/6/10. Can’t really trust the ol’ baldy for much, but a fun streamer.
Trey Burke – Another game embracing the 6th man role. 21/3/4 and 3 treys, once again outplaying Dante Exum, which really isn’t hard to do when Exum misses all his shots again (0-5). Ya know, maybe it’s time to kinda like Burke again. Akbar is like, “it’s a trap!”
Rudy Gobert – As Cromwell would say, “that’ll do!” 25 minutes for 8/6/0/2/2. Had the rough FT blip that will come his way (4-8), but eschew your inner Cromwell, Gobert owners!
J.J. Barea – Meh, 10/4/5 with only 1 TO and no steals (or blocks, duh), but hit a couple treys and I think is streamable for a little here. Rajon Rondo is likely facing… well, face surgery, and nothing about face surgery sounds like any sort of fun except a face lift. Doesn’t that just sound… well, uplifting?!
Stephen Curry – Save the best for last! After a slow start down like 40 something to 18, all the sudden the Warriors went beast mode with Curry dropping 51 skittles. 51/4/4/1/0, hitting 10-16 from deep. Getting warmed up for the 3-point contest!
Streamers/Cheap Daily League Picks:
J.J. Barea (5% owned) – I’m going with the above advice, and using the streamble and dreamable Barea! Don’t worry, Rubio, not cheating on you! Wasn’t huge last night, but I think does a smidge more against the hapless Kings.
Al-Farouq Aminu (5% owned) – Doubling down on the Mavs! Solid last night for 12/7/2/2/1 and completed the rainbow on Monday night for 9/5/2/2/2. Hit a 3 in both, and is at 25+ minutes in 4 of 5. A wee interesting! And in what could easily be a King blowout, I like Aminu as a royal value.
I hope everyone’s squads had a solid full-slate Wednesday and we’ll catch ya tomorrow!
