It’s almost baseball season, so let’s start pulling in the puns! I just wanted to be sure everyone knew that I was going for that use-case of the title, not what you’d find in urban dictionary… Who comes up with that stuff?!
Huge weekend from Sam Dekker, getting 28 minutes off the bench on Friday night when Ryan Anderson exited after only 9 minutes (Illness – tried to play through The Plague that is running rampant in the NBA, but it claimed another victim. Somebody really needs to do something about the flu and stomach issues that make the NBA seem germier than going on a cruise.), going 17/7/2/0/1 with a trey in 28 minutes. Then in his first career start Saturday night – at the Grizzlies who are supposed to be a defensive team – Dekker blew up like an upper decker for 30/4/0/2/0 on 12-19 FG with 6-11 treys.
Somebody get a hand in his face! Got 35 minutes, and didn’t commit a single TO in either of these games. Roto-efficiency! Dekker’s been playing decently – albeit a little under-the-radar – in his bench minutes this season, but he’s a good rebounder who hits treys and can pepper in stocks. All the while maintaining a low TO rate. Kinda seems Otto Porter-ish to me! Although Dekker is only 28-49 at the FT line for some reason, good for 57.1%. While Ryno is “only” out sick right now, all his injuries does make him an endangered species… Everyone is out for Ryan Anderson’s ivory! Everyone wants a nice white dude shooter on their team… Now the Rockets have two! So if Ryno’s back flares up again, or if he has any injury really, Dekker would be a must-own. I might even nab him for the short-term, if you have any streaming spots you can dedicate to a little run – because speaking of a little run, doctors told Rynio he might be dealing with this stomach bug for 1-2 weeks. Somebody get this guy some pepto bismol and keep him away from my toilet tanks! Here’s what else went down over the weekend in fantasy basketball action:
Malcolm Brogdon – Transitioning from that eloquent open, Broggy Bear was mad solid against the Magic on Friday (16/2/5/1/0 with 4 treys), but came off the bench against the Heat?! Jason Kidd said he wanted Brogdon to play alongside Greg Monroe… Ugh! Still got 30 minutes, but was god awful (1-10 shooting, 4/2/2/1/0), and Matthew Dellavedova got 36 minutes and went 15/2/7 on 5-8 shooting. I was finally starting to settle in on Brogdon as a no-question, must hold, then Kidd had to come and muck it up! Muck til you Buck, what?! Muck til you Buck, whaaaaaaat?!
Jabari Parker – Also got moved to the bench, but this was due to a team rule violation. Apparently he talked about what happened in the locker room to the media. Hey, at least he didn’t live stream the convo on Facebook, right Antonio?! Thon Maker got the start and scored 6 points in 18 yawnstipating minutes, and Jabari still got his 32 minutes and was fine (16/7/4/1/1).
Aaron Gordon – Comes off a nice high on Friday (17/8/3/2/0 with no TO) for a mediocre follow up yesterday against the mighty Dubs (8/3/5/1/1). Did only shoot 4-14 and 0-6 from deep… He’s 1 for his last 18 from the perimeter! Get Wild Thing some glasses!
Elfrid Payton – Helllllll yeah! Everything has been positive loveliness from The Shelfrid lately. 20/4/6/3/0 and 23/4/10/1/0, hitting 3 combined treys and 6-6 FT. He’s like an NFL receiver, breaking out in his third season!
Bismack Biyombo – Wow, after 13/13 with 4 blocks against the Bucks, I wasn’t expecting something similar against the smallball leaning Dubs, but 12/14 3 blocks yesterday afternoon! 5-12 FT though, and he’s not getting the run to expect it to be this nice moving forward… If you wanna take a BlockNOF flier though, I won’t say it’s none of your Bizness.
Moe Harkless – Hey, Terry Stotts, why YOU gotta be Moe Harklesssssss?! Missed a game to a strained calf, was bad off the bench early last week, got a facial laceration on Saturday, and might have lost his starting spot to Evan Turner. I’ve been skeptical of the Moe Train for a while, and it finally looks to be grinding to a halt. I certainly wouldn’t mind moving on.
Meyers Leonard – Even Meyers Leonard is popping up with good games, with his typical once-every-two-weeks hot shooting game for 17 points and 4 treys on Saturday. Pssshhh, whatever, you weiner! As in, the Oscar Meyer joke! Definitely felt I had to explain that one…
Denzel Valentine – Valentine, with the almost rainbow line! Got 24 minutes Friday against the Hawks, as the Bulls looked awful. Only ended up losing by 9 because of a junk time 36-15 4th quarter. 8/6/1/3/2 with 2 treys, but even with his holiday coming up in a few weeks, I wouldn’t be sending him roses. Especially after a DNP and…
Dwyane Wade – …going ham on the Kings! 30/6/4/3/4 in a near double-rainbow, hitting 12-15 FT and 9-20 from the field. The Bulls actually won a game! Nice bounce back after a horrific 4/3/3/1/0 on 2-10 shooting against the Hawks that paved the way for Valentine’s junk time.
Kent Bazemore – Bottomed out against the Bulls for only 2 Pts in 19 minutes, but thankfully got it back together Saturday for 16/2/2 and 2 treys against the Sixers. Tim Hardaway Jr. was off a pair of duds as well, but also had a nice bounce back against those Sillies – 12/3/6/2/0. I still think Bazemore is worth hanging onto in 12ers, THJ can stay with the streaming class.
Caris LeVert – Caris on, my wayward son! 17/5/6/1/1 against the Pels in that ridiculous 143-114 game. Are we sure this wasn’t the All-Star Game?! After a nice back-to-back run though, cooled off a little Saturday for only 9/1/4 against the Hornets. Still only a streamer as well.
Dante Cunningham – REL bias alert! 14/5/0/0/0 and 14/7/1/0/1 the last two games. PICK HIM UP EVERYWHERE! Haha, just messin’, deep league streamer at best just because you know he’ll get minutes.
Kevin Durant – Rainbow weekend! Man, he’s been unreal… 32/4/7/2/2 at Houston, then a cool, coasting 15/10/6/3/2 yesterday afternoon against the Magic. A better weekend than Aaron Rodgers had, that’s for sure!
Clint Capela – Gettin’ those legs healthy again! 22/12/1/1/1 on 10-16 shooting against the Dubs Friday, but those legs got tired on the b2b against the Grizz for 5/4/2/0/1 in 16 minutes. That said, he’s grinded his way through 4 games in 5 days. Good to see he’s healthy.
Garrett Temple – A little low end, but pretty usable in the post-Rudy Gay era. 14/3/3/1/2 with no TO Friday then 8/3/3/2/1 Saturday at the Bulls. I haven’t explicitly looked for him on my RCL wires, but I would maybe take a shot if he was still out there. Then change my team name to the Blue Barracudas.
DeMarcus Cousins – Boogie the Bull! …wait, it’s Benny the Bull… Monster 42/14/3/1/2 with 2 treys, but the Kings still lost to the Bulls… Just trade Melo for Cousins already!
Dirk Nowitzki – Dirk No-Goodi! 1-13 shooting against the Jazz, yet somehow the Mavs took em to OT… 13/5/1/1/1 in a nice bounce back on 5-11 shooting yesterday, but everyone on the Mavs was sinkin’ em against the horrible Lakers…
Rudy Gobert – Another big with a monster weekend! Monster Weekend, starring Michael Cera and a comeback from Lindsay Lohan, I would watch that! Especially if it was in French… The Frenchy unsurprisingly tore up The German against the Mavs, going 27/25/1/1/2. Why wasn’t this monster season last year in 15-16, when I ranked him crazy high?! Also, let’s hope he goes against centers like Dirk the rest of the season…
George Hill – Uh oh. He’s going off again, which means he’s probably about to lose a finger or something… Stay healthy Georgie! 30/6/5/1/0 against the Pacers on Saturday.
Thaddeus Young – Thad the terrible! Stupid Thad racking up 15 steals this week. 15!!!! Who is he playing against, the Mess every night?! 9/8/3/5/1 then 19/9/3/1/1 over the weekend.
D’Angelo Russell – “Mildly” sprained his knee and calf on Saturday night and will miss 1-2 weeks. He’s already been “mildly” disappointing this year, kinda like mild salsa. If I wanted mild salsa, I would just eat spaghetti sauce!
Lou Williams – A stretch without D Barksdale means it’s time to be sure Sweet Lou is off The Wire! Well, it’s probably too late as he was off two resurrecting games already, but 27/4/3/1/1 with 4 treys and 9-10 FT on Friday when D went down. Then a blah 15/0/1/1/0 yesterday in the Lakers’ slaughtering, but did hit his 6-6 FT which is what Sweet Lou do!
Ivica Zubac – After some early foul trouble on Friday, didn’t get to see much of the court (4/1/0/0/0 in 6 minutes), but because the Lakers were so dreadful last night, it assured the rook run, going 2/4/1/0/1 in 18 minutes. Not quite the droid we were looking for! I need a big man and blocks in 2 RCLs and I’m gonna keep holding.
Terry Rozier – I’m going to go ahead and be 100% transparent. Get him at all costs in dynasty leagues – he’s going to be a fantastic starting PG one day. I’m only now being transparent because all of my offers in the REL have proven fruitless. Of course, the C’s have an even better PG in Isaiah Thomas, but some how, by hook or by Goldblum, life finds a way!
Hit that huge pivotal trey to send the Celtics into OT on Saturday, on a 15/3/3 line with only 1 TO in 22 minutes. Averages only 0.6 TO a game this year, and yeah it’s to only 1.7 AST, but man, give this guy the keys to a team and he’s gonna take off.
Michael Kidd-Gilchrist – 17/14/1/0/2 against the Mess on Saturday, hitting 7-11 FG. Rebounding well, hitting his FT, and at least one block in 6 straight with only 5 combined TO in that span. It’s like a better version of John Henson!
Dion Waiters – Break up the Heat! Starting alongside powerhouse forwards Luke Babbitt and Rodney McGruder, Waiters is roaming the perimeter free like the wind! 33/3/3/1/0 on 12-19 shooting Saturday night, with 5 treys in a 12 point win against the Bucks. How someone can score like that and only hit 4 of his 8 FT, I’ll never know… Definitely grab him where you can, but like being shrunk like in Honey I Shrink The Kids, beware the drains!
Marquese Chriss – Any time a player hits a low, you’ll know they’ll get boosted back up when they play the Poppycockers! 15/5/0/3/1 with 2 treys in a win at MSG Saturday. Are New Yorkers more frustrated about the Knicks, or the new presidency?!
Carmelo Anthony – Maybe the Melo/Phil J drama would take the cake for the most New Yorker frustration! Hey, he still had a good game though! 31/7/6/1/0 with 5 treys on 9-17 shooting, but still twasn’t enough…
Chandler Parsons – How sad is it that one of my favorite things to happen this weekend was to see a crummy 12/2/4/3/0 line. Tim Hardaway Jr. got me all excited! Oh wait, this is someone I ranked top-50. FML!!! But hey, step in the right direction for Chandler, who hopefully is going to morph into sexy-Chandler again like how Matthew Perry went from fat to thin every Friends season… Keep it up, sexy-Chandler!
Marc Gasol – Marcy Marc was sexy as well, with a monster weekend! 28/9/4/1/0 against the Kings, then 32/5/1/2/3 against Houston. Hey, when shots like this are falling, keep up the Good Vibrations, baby!
Kawhi Leonard – Ka-why the Cavs even try?! Career night for Kawhi in an OT-thrilling win over the Cavs, going 41/6/5/1/1 with 3 treys on 15-30 shooting. 30 shots has gotta be a career-high too, as were the 6 TO most likely…. We all know I don’t fact check though! A line like 30 shots and 6 TO is looking more like today’s NBA superstar than the former, roto-friendly Kawhi! Reign it in, man!
David Lee – Back-to-back nice games without Pau Gasol who broke his hand in the layup line (wow), going 14/11/3/0/1 at the Cavs in 36 minutes. I still think production game-to-game might be spotty, but if you need some rebounding, then sure. That said, MKG was on some wires last week, so I dunno if Lee is any sort of must-own – not like we can except much more than 10/10 most nights.
Dejounte Murray – Another spot start for Tony Parker (foot – and will miss at least a few more), and the Spurs PG of the future delivered another nice glimpse, going 14/2/6 in 22 minutes in the high-profile win. Obviously exciting to own him in dynos right now!
Raymond Felton – Like Jabari Parker, got benched for violating a team rule – he missed shootaround while on his 7th plate at Golden Corral. Hah, I keed! The reason is even worse! It’s because daddy wanted to start his baby! Stupid Austin Rivers started at “PG” and was OK (16/2/5), and Felton was fine too in 30 minutes, going 14/3/3 with no TO. They lost by 25 at Denver… What you get for playing family favorites, Doc!
Emmanuel Mudiay – The big win against the Clippers wasn’t at all due to Mudiay! 17 minutes of 0-8 shooting, then exited early with a sore back. Carrying around his awful percents is a big load to carry on your shoulders!
I hope everyone had an awesome weekend, and you’re pumped for Falcons vs. [Steelers or Pats, I finished this article before it was over!] in the Super Bowl! Good luck to everyone in week 14 – only 6 more regular season weeks left! How did it go this fast!?