I considered leading with Greg Monroe and his triple double (and in some ways, I just did), but I decided to comment about Jrue Holiday. He has been off to a great start this season, and last night he put up 14 points, 5 rebounds, 12 assists and a block. The glitch in the matrix is that he also had 7 turnovers. For those of you who don’t know what that means, punch yourself in the crotch. That feeling is 7 turnovers. Holiday joins Paul George, James Harden, and Kevin Durant as the top offenders in TOV this year. Even Jeremy Lin (6 points (2-9 FG, 0-4 3P), 5 rebounds, 6 assists, 6 steals, only 2 turnovers) isn’t in the top 10 (top 20, yes). High turnovers affect player value as much as bad free throw percentage, especially in roto leagues. I am more forgiving of a bad category if the other 5 or 6 or 7 are good, but I know some of you are not. If that’s the case and you own Holiday, maybe you try to ship him out for another piece you need.
Oh, and the clunky title was a reference to the B-Side of the Dead Kennedys’ single. I’m not going to patronize the younger readers by explaining vinyl because everyone knows how vinyl records worked. I just needed a pun about turnovers and I didn’t want to make a food reference. Is that so wrong? Oh, and as an aside from our aside, there were 13 games last night. Monday had 8 games, Tuesday had 3 games, last night had 13 games, tonight has 2 games, and Friday has 13 games. What crack addict is scheduling these games? Anyway, let’s dive in to last night’s action.
Greg Monroe – He had the NBA’s first triple double of the season. Remember? I just wrote about it. Anyway, Monroe tallied 21 points, 12 rebounds, and 11 assists. Unfortunately for him, it wasn’t enough as the Pistons fell again to go 0-5. Monroe is averaging 16 PPG, 8.6 RPH, and 3.6 APG this season. As I was enthusing about in the offseason, we are in another golden age of Centers.
Michael Beasley – 21 points, 15 rebounds, 7 assists, 1 steal, and 3 blocks. You call that impressive? Well…yeah, okay, it is.
Shannon Brown – Finished with 24 points, including 6 three pointers, all of which came in the final quarter. He also had 2 assists and 2 rebounds, which, you know, is something I will sneeze at. However, those 24 points came in less than 24 minutes, so that is really interesting. He has been averaging 14 PPG and 1.8 3PG this year.
Michael Kidd-Gilchrist – Played 29 minutes for 9 points, 8 rebounds, 3 assists and 3 blocks. Those 9 points came on 4 of 10 shooting. Come on, MKG, you are giving people the runs like MSG.
Byron Mullens – If you like three pointers, Mullens had a few: 24 points, 8 rebounds, 6 of 10 from three point land.
Bismack Biyombo – Blocks are hard to come by, but I’m not sure 3 blocks is worth only getting 5 points and 5 rebounds.
Ramon Sessions – Only 2 of 10 field goals but 12 of 14 from free throw line, which gave him 17 points to compliment his 9 assists. Sometimes our sessions with Ramon are all over the place.
Trevor Ariza – In overtime, 18 1/2 minutes for 2 points, 3 rebounds, 2 assists, and 2 steals. He has been averaging 3.7 PPG this season. I don’t want him on any of my teams, or your teams, either.
Emeka Okafor – Also in overtime, 11 minutes for 2 points, 1 rebound, and 2 blocks. Okafor? Not OK-a-for you to stink this badly.
Kevin Seraphin – The questions about him have sputtered out. Has everyone that wanted him picked him up already? If so, you saw he gave you 16 points, 9 rebounds, 3 assists and 1 block.
Jason Terry – He had 16 points. He also only had 3 assists and 1 rebound. He was actually just yawning and stretching when the ball bounced off the rim and hit his hand.
Courtney Lee – 80s homecoming queen went 0-3 for 2 points and 1 assist in 18 1/2 min. Apparent-Lee, Courtney took less money to go to Boston. I’m sure Boston is thrilled.
Roy Hibbert – In nearly 37 minutes, 9 points, 7 rebounds, 3 assists, and 2 blocks. Come on, man, that’s not going to cut it. You have to give me 10/10 with those 2 blocks. Stop in-hibbert-ing my fantasy progress.
George Hill – Season high in points (20) to go with 3 rebounds, 5 assists, 1 block. Has not scored less than 15 in the past three days.
Gerald Green – Check please! 5 points, 5 rebounds, and 2 blocks.
Jeff Teague – Living up to his preseason hype so far with 15 points, 6 rebounds, 6 assists, and 3 steals.
Kyle Korver – I don’t really want to own Korver, and his performance of 13 points (3 of 9 threes), 5 rebounds and 1 assist is why.
Zaza Pachulia – You know how I go “when a guy has more rebounds than points, I expect like 5 points blah blah.” Example: 6 points, 14 rebounds.
Kris Humphries – Finally, 11 points and 11 rebounds. Throw up the horns!
Keith Bogans – 3 points, 2 rebounds, 1 assist. 3, 2, 1, blast off into the waiver wire!
Luke Ridnour – 19 points (3-4 from downtown) with 3 assists. I thought he died? He is averaging 11.3 PPG, 1.5 3PG and 2.8 APG. Worth a consideration in deeper leagues, where he’s already owned.
Chase Budinger – 10 points, 1 assist, and 1 rebound. Probably not worth a consideration in deeper leagues.
Greg Stiemsma – With 12 points, 5 rebounds, 1 steal, and 2 blocks, Greg did enough to make the roundup! Three cheers for Greg!
Brandon Roy – 3 points (1-6 FG), 9 assists, and 5 rebounds. Forget the assists, he is not scoring enough to be rostered. He has missed all 9 three point attempts and averaging 5.8 points per game. Needing assists that badly is like banging Honey Boo Boo’s mom because you really want to get laid. Have some dignity.
Shane Battier – 9 points, 2 rebounds, 0 assists, and 3-8 from behind the arc. If you are considering Battier, there are Bettier options.
Mike Conley – I always love the less common points assists double-double, so here’s to you, Mike: 13 points, 12 assists.
Marreese Speights – Last night, he scored 18 points to go with 9 rebounds, 1 assist, and 2 blocks. On the year, he is averaging 9.0 PPG, 5.5 RPG, and 1.0 BPG. He basically doubled his own regular output.
Mike Dunleavy – I picked him up and he went for 10 points, 2 rebounds, 2 assists, and 1 steal. Great. <– sarcasm
Larry Sanders – Garry Shandling’s alter ego put up 10 points, 11 rebounds (5 offensive), 1 steal, and 3 blocks. Sounds like he’s ready for prime time.
Samuel Dalembert – Ugh-ly: 4 points, 3 boards, 2 blocks in 15 1/2 minutes. Epke Udoh (10 points, 3 rebounds, 2 steals and 2 blocks) saw more time. So, combined they had 6 rebounds. From the Center position.
Thaddeus Young – 12 points, 10 rebounds, and 1 assist. That’s two double-doubles in a row..
Dorrell Wright – Halloween is long gone but we still get a mixed bag: 7 points (2-4 from deep, 2-10 FG), 6 rebounds, 2 assists, 2 steals, and 1 block.
Nick Young – In 18 1/2 minutes, he shot 1-7 (0-5 from downtown) for 2 points with 1 assist and 1 steal. Has a .244 FG% this season. Flush.
Al Farouq Aminu – If you have him, he played 40 minutes and gave you 10 points, 16 rebounds, 3 assists and 2 steals. I want to see more than 10 points in that much floor time, but the rest is fine.
Ryan J. Anderson – 9 points, 10 rebounds, 2 assists, 1 steal. Would have had more points but he missed 5 of his 6 three point attempts.
Greivis Vazquez – I love him, I really do, but he did not have a good night, missing 10 of his 13 shots for 7 points, 3 rebounds, 7 assists, and 5 turnovers.
Andre Miller – Allergic to scoring last night: 7 rebounds, 5 assists, 0 points, and 5 turnovers.
Danillo Gallinari – Let’s check in with the palest Italian in North America. He scored 13 points, 10 rebounds, 3 assists, and even a block.
Kenneth Faried – 1 point, 1 rebound, 16 points, 16 rebounds, 1 steal, 1 block and my 6 key’s sticking embarrasses me.
Omer Asik – He had 10 points, 13 rebounds, and is likely to play tomorrow night despite a face injury.
Carlos Delfino – He scored 19 points (4-10 deep), 2 steals, 5 rebounds, and 2 assists. He is averaging 2.5 threes per game.
Nikola Vucevic – With 2 points, 4 rebounds, and zeroes across the board, his impact was, shall we say, minimal.
Arron Affalo – Speaking of minimal impact, 3 rebounds, 0 assists, 0 steals. At least he had 12 points.
Andrea Bargnani – Gave you 25 points but missed five shots from beyond the arc. Also had 9 rebounds, 3 assists, and 2 steals.
Jonas Valanciunas – Played 10 1/2 minutes for 4 points, 2 rebounds, and 0 blocks. Yeah, so, outside of keeper leagues, he’s not really making a strong case to be rostered.
DeMar DeRozan – Oh, hello: 24 points, 6 rebounds, and 7 assists. He is averaging 17.8 PPG .
Jae Crowder – With 8 points (2-3 3pm), 4 rebounds, and 1 assist, all about his season average, he’s not really making a case for him to start over veteran Vince Carter (17 points, 2-6 3pm, 5 rebounds, 3 assists, 1 steal, 2 blocks).
Chris Kaman – 22 points, 8 rebounds, 3 assists, and 1 block. I didn’t do it, but you’re welcome.
O.J. Mayo – My favorite player of the week went 3-6 from deep for 22 points to go with 5 rebounds, 6 assists, and 1 steal.
Metta World Peace – Ron Artest continues to surprise me: 15 points, 7 rebounds, 1 assist, 2 steals, and 1 block.
Steve Blake – In 36 minutes played, only managed 6 points, 4 rebounds, 1 assists, and a dreadful 2-8 three point shooting.
Jordan Hill – 4 points, 12 rebounds, 1 assist. See also my blurb for Zaza Pachulia.
Gordon Hayward – As a prank, he wore a blindfold and shot 2-11 (0-4 from deep) to accumulate 7 points, 3 rebounds, 1 assist, and 2 steals. What, he didn’t have a blindfold on? On the plus side, he had 3 blocks. Maybe he thought he was shooting and accidentally blocked the ball when his arm went up.
Jodie Meeks – Did not play and will not be seeing playing time beyond a couple of minutes per game. DO NOT OWN.
Derrick Favors – Scored 8 points, 6 rebounds, 2 blocks, and 1 steal. Okay, not great, but okay.
Tristan Thompson – He had 11 points, 10 rebounds, and 9 blocks. No, haha, he didn’t have any blocks, settle down.
Daniel Gibson – Off the bench, he scored 12 points (including 4-8 from behind the arc), with a handful of peripheral stats. He’s averaging 1.8 3PM but there’s not much else to his game, which may be why he’s only 1% owned.
Dion Waiters – 12 points (2-5 from deep) and 5 assists. If you own him, leave at least an 18% tip.
Harrison Barnes – 14 points, 2 rebounds, 1 assists, and 1 steal. Points-only guys are frustrating and I’m about ready to drop him.
Andrew Bogut – Bogut had 0 points, 3 rebounds, 5 assists, 1 steal, and 1 block. Where Center is the deepest position, this guy is not worth having on your team.
Klay Thompson – 13 points (1-5 on threes), 2 rebounds, 1 assists, 1 steal, and 4 turnovers. On the plus side, he didn’t give your team HIV.
Rodney Stuckey – He played 34 minutes for 5 points, 4 assists, and 1 steal. He is improving but, you know, he is still playing like excrement.
James Johnson – I have not talked about him yet this season, but I have been watching his performances, and it’s not been good, friends. Last night, 5 points, 5 rebounds, 2 assists, 1 block…for a guy playing starter’s minutes, he keeps putting up low level numbers.
Isaiah Thomas – He’s a little frustrating, but 15 points (3-4 threes) with 2 assists is not going to make me vomit in my mouth and then choke on my vomit.
Kawhi Leonard – Played 23 minutes, 4 points, 4 rebounds, 2 assists as waiver wire sweets turn to ash in my mouth. I won’t hit Leonard too hard, he led his team in defensive rebounds…with FOUR.
Caron Butler – A bad night for the girls with Caron joining Courtney in a pathetic offensive showing. Caron shot for 4 points, 3 rebounds, 3 assists, and 1 steal. Andrea is embarrassed to be in the same league.
DeAndre Jordan – 20 points and 11 rebounds. Averaging 10.0/7.4 with 2.8 BPG.
Lamar Odom – Just checking in on ol’ Lamar…he played less than 10 minutes, scored 0 times, had 2 rebounds, 1 assist, and 1 block. Yeah, he’s completely unownable in any league, any format, any universe, anywhere.
