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I have no problem going to the movie theaters alone. I can eat at a restaurant by myself. I don’t mind playing NBA 2K against the computer. I can exist as a lone wolf if I chose to. Ah wooooooooo! But I choose not to. There are many things that are only possible with a +1. I have two kids. Even if I wasn’t married ( I am), the process would technically require a +1. Going to an event after checking the +1 box, requires a +1. Once you check that box, you’re an a**shole if you don’t find/beg/pay someone to fill the role. Singing love songs on my guitar while strolling the beach to wait for the sunset. Requires a +1. By the way, I do not play the guitar. There are just some things that bring perfection. Off the top of my head, it was sitting with my wife on the beach as the sun rose in Santa Barbara. For Tobias Harris, all he needed was a +1 for perfection in last night’s game against the Pacers.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 30 6 1 1 0 1 7/8 10/11 3/4

He played 29 minutes, so +1 would’ve given him a perfect minutes-to-points ratio. +1 in the blocks department would’ve given him a 1/1/1/1 (assists, steals, blocks, and turnovers) line. And, of course, +1 in the 3PT, FG, and FT categories would’ve given him perfect shooting percentages. Not bad, Tobias. Not bad. After a torrid start to the season, Tobias had cooled off. The last two games, though, he’s scored 24 and 30 points. He may be heating up again. Regardless, he is still a top 50 player for fantasy. He provides threes, rebounds, low turnovers, and good shooting percentages.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

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The Pacers scored 83 points and only one player, Victor Oladipo, scored more than 10 points. Dipo scored 13. No blurbs for you!!! Things got so bad that Alex Poythress played 22 minutes. Who? Exactly.

Andre Drummond:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
21 18 3 1 0 3 0 9/13 3/4

We didn’t forget about ‘Dre. And neither did Stocktonator, as it loved him last night.

Reggie Jackson:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
8 3 13 0 0 1 0/3 4/10 0

Played 21 minutes but left the game due to an ankle injury. It sounds like he may miss some time. Ish Smith should be the main beneficiary.

Stanley Johnson:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 6 7 1 1 0 1 1/7 1/8 3/4

Played 36 minutes. SVG just can’t get enough Johnson.

Kris Dunn:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
20 2 12 4 2 4 0/3 9/17 2/4

A masterpiece.

Nikola Mirotic:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 24 8 1 0 0 0 4/8 9/18 2/4

I gotta say. I don’t necessarily agree with the method, but there’s no denying the results. Get one player to beat the crap out of another seems to be the great motivation technique of 2017. Mirotic has scored double digits in 8-of-10 games since returning.

Giannis Antetokounmpo:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 28 7 4 1 1 4 1/4 11/17 5/6

You know you are a G when a 28/7/4/1/1 line gets the W from the teenage girls.

Malcolm Brogdon:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 18 6 2 0 2 1 0/3 7/11 4/4

Played 30 minutes last night and is averaging 31 minutes a game for the month of December. He’s situated in his role off the bench and has been very productive, contributing across the board.

DeMarre Carroll:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 2 4 3 2 0 1 0/3 1/10 0/3

The line above looks like Christmas lights, no? I’ve been staying at my in-law’s place, which is not too far from Dyker Heights, so please excuse me as everything looks like Christmas lights to me right now. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, just Google Dyker Heights Christmas lights. It’s insanely ridiculous.

Caris LeVert:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 18 0 5 2 0 2 2/3 8/11 0/1

Played 28 minutes and has been really productive in the month of December. Double figures in 10 of the past 12 games, averaging over 28 minutes a game, and providing a little something something in every category.

Quincy Acy:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 8 10 0 0 0 0 2/10 3/12 0

Played 20 minutes and jacked up 12 shots. Acy averages five shot attempts per game. What’s the expression? Too good to be true? There’s a reason you’re open Quincy! If a hot woman just walked up to you on the street, pulled down her panties, and spread her legs….questions wouldn’t pop into your head? If there’s bumper to bumper traffic and you veer off onto a street, but there’s not another car on the road….you don’t ask why? If a Nigerian prince emails you and says he has $10 million to gift you….you don’t scream, “Finally! My one time has been answered!”

Jahlil Okafor DNP-CD. Jarrett Allen, though, played 21 minutes.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 12 9 1 0 0 2 0/1 6/11 0

I still think Okafor gets incorporated into the rotation and could be a factor down the road. I’m keeping an eye on the situation, like “Hot Pockets in the oven at 12 am” eye.

Kawhi Leonard:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 21 2 2 0 0 0 2/5 8/17 3/4

Played 26 minutes.

That’s how Kawhi owners are feeling right now. The 26 minutes are a really good sign. I was of the belief that he’d settle in around 24-25 minutes until after the All-Star break. I may have to readjust as more information comes to light. I’m keeping an eye on this situation, like “scientist looking through microscope lens” eye.

Pau Gasol:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
15 12 5 0 1 1 2/3 6/10 1/2

Gasol has double-dubbed in three straight games, with one of those being a triple-dub. He’s a fringe top 50 player in fantasy right now. Ka-Pau!

LaMarcus Aldridge:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
20 9 2 2 1 1 0/1 7/15 6/7

In games that Kawhi has played, LMA’s usage rate has been 35.1, 32.5, 22, 27.1, and 26.3. The 35.1 and 32.5 numbers were in the first two games that Kawhi returned. As you can see, the usage rate has slowly been declining. As Kawhi gets more run, that number should continue to come down. He’s still going to get shots and be a vital cog of the Spurs offense, but there’s a ceiling that has to be accounted for now.

The Jazz got smoked 107-83 by the Nuggets. Derrick Favors led the Jazz with 20 points. No one else scored more than 13 points. No blurbs for you! It got so bad that Royce O’Neale played 12 minutes.

Jamal Murray:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 22 8 2 1 0 4 3/6 9/15 1/1

Played 35 minutes and led the way for the Nuggets. It’s crazy to think he’s only 20 years old. Murray will contribute in threes, steals, and chip in with some boards and assists.

Nikola Jokic:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 13 7 5 1 0 1 1/3 4/10 4/4

Only played 26 minutes due to blowout. Jazz are a bunch of Jokers!

Trey Lyles:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 16 8 0 1 0 0 1/4 7/11 1/3

Played 28 minutes. Knocked down uno Trey. Uno! Dos! Trey!

Mario Chalmers DNP-CD. Kobi Simmons is now the backup PG in Memphis until Mike Conley returns.

Simmons:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 6 5 2 2 1 1 0/2 2/5 2/2

Played 26 minutes. It’s tough to trust a guy that spells Kobe, Kobi. It’s like going to the store and getting sold some Mike’s instead of Nike’s. With that said, he’s going to get run with the number of injuries the Grizzlies have and he contributes across the board.

Tyreke Evans:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 25 5 5 1 1 1 2/5 10/22 3/4

I’d still look to sell, but not sell for the sake of selling. Sell for value, which should be sky high right now. He’s a top 30 player and has now transcended the injury-prone perception. Stocktonator loved him last night, so maybe you shouldn’t sell? Check out how Stocktonator views Evans going forward and decide for yourself.

Marquese Chriss:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 6 13 0 2 1 5 0 2/3 2/4

No where in the fine print did it say that Chriss would morph into Ben Wallace. Jesus F’ing Chriss!

TJ Warren:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 17 0 0 0 0 0 0/1 7/14 3/5

Wow. That’s an impressive line. Did he swat the ball out of bounds when it got close to him so he wouldn’t get credited with a rebound? Stat lines could be a window into the soul of someone. For example, I’m pretty sure that Warren isn’t a puff, puff, pass kind of guy. Puff, puff, puff, then puff, then puff some more.

Devin Booker returned from injury and played 34 minutes.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 32 5 6 1 0 5 3/9 9/21 11/12

What a stud. The increase in rebounds and assists has been a positive development. Hope he continues on that trajectory.

Tyson Chandler got the start at center and played 18 minutes. Greg Monroe DNP. Alex Len played 30 minutes. I think the Suns center situation is pretty straightforward. Len is the reserve. Tyson is the starter. Monroe starts on back-to-backs for Chandler.

Len:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 12 6 4 0 2 2 0 4/6 4/6

After a heated argument last night, Mrs. Triano said, “Jay, you need more Zen!” Returning home from the 99-97 victory, Jay went to his wife and said, “Was that enough Len for you?” I know. I know. It’s amazing that I’m not world famous by now.

Evan Fournier returned from injury and played 30 minutes.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 14 3 1 0 0 0 1/3 5/10 3/3

His return was a a detriment for Jonathan Simmons.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 4 4 0 0 0 4 0/2 1/8 2/2

Was Jonathan channeling his inner Ben Simmons?

Bizmack Biyombo got the start at center and played 30 minutes.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 3 12 0 0 5 1 0 1/7 1/2

Imagine you go on a first date. These are the things she says within the first minute: I don’t cook, I don’t shave, and I smell like shit, but I love sucking on things and will make you laugh. Well…..you weigh the pros and cons, right? The most important thing, though, is that you know exactly what you are in for. Biyombo in a nutshell for fantasy owners. He can’t score or pass, but he will grab boards and get his block on. Now it’s up to you to decide if that’s what you want.

Elfrid Payton:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 19 8 6 1 0 2 0 9/18 1/3

It’s been a nice four game stretch for Elf, but he’s very inconsistent. The loss of Vuc will give him a usage bump floor, but I can never fully trust him until he shaves his head. Now that I think about it, I probably wouldn’t trust him in that scenario as well. He would feel naked and lost without the hair. Well, that makes things pretty simple for me. I’m glad we had this talk.

Mario Hezonja:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 14 5 1 1 0 3 0/4 6/12 2/2

Got the start at power forward and played 32 minutes. Aaron Gordon should be back soon, so expect Mario to not be so super very soon.

Jonathan Isaac:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 1 1 0 2 0 1 0 0/4 1/2

Played 16 minutes. Raw and young.

Why is Aaron Afflalo playing 17 minutes? Maybe Vogel is an AA member and uses Afflalo as a nightly reminder?

Josh Richardson:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 20 7 5 1 0 1 0/4 8/14 4/4

My son! I’m so proud of you.

Kelly Olynyk:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 15 12 2 3 2 4 1/2 7/14 0

Bizmack was more like the Bizmark battleship, trying to guard the Olynyk on the perimeter. A bonafide K.O!

Wayne Ellington:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 18 6 1 2 0 0 6/10 6/11 0/1

The last three games: 18, 13, and 28. The three games before that: 9, 6, and 9. The three games before that: 16, 24, and 12. So we should expect single digit games for the next three, right? That’s not how it works?

Serge Ibaka:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 11 12 0 0 3 2 0/4 4/13 3/5

What’s gotten into Serge this month? He’s been a freaking beast! Whatever it is, I like it. I like it very, very much. For the month of December, Serge is posting:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 18.4 6.6 0.9 1.6 0.4 1.1 53% 56% 88%

DeMar DeRozan:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 8 3 5 2 0 0 0/2 3/16 2/3

Every dog has it’s day. Last night was not one of those days, unless the dog was a shit-zu.

Dirk Nowitzki:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 18 7 1 1 3 2 1/2 8/13 1/1

Have Dirk and the Markkman both had good performances on the same night? I think not. Would be too much for the Matrix to handle.

Maximillian Kleber:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 15 8 2 2 5 0 2/4 6/9 1/1

So maybe he is really good, huh? Maybe he’s not some crush of the coach’s daughter.

Harrison Barnes:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 16 10 2 0 0 4 1/2 6/13 3/4

Top 60 player. Scores and rebounds, but doesn’t block. Good thing he’s not an anti-virus software.

JJ Barea:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 20 3 4 0 0 2 2/6 9/18 0/1

Played 23 minutes, but for a player like JJ, 23 minutes is probably three minutes too much. If you didn’t know he could score:

Willy Cauley-Stein:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 17 7 3 4 0 2 0 8/10 1/2

Played 25 minutes and was the only Kings player to do much of anything. Only Buddy Hield and Malachi Richardson were able to score double figures, as both went for 10 points. As a result, no blurbs for the rest of you!

Milos Teodosic:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 8 4 10 0 0 1 2/5 3/9 0

Played 21 minutes, but that was mainly due to the Clips blowing out the Kings, 122-95. The 10 assists were the first time in the dime dimes club.

Montrezl Harrell:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 22 8 3 0 1 2 0 7/12 8/9

Played 22 minutes. A season-high for minutes, points, and rebounds. Thanks Kings!