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Over the summer, I sauntered….No, I ran to the NFBKC lobby room like a ravenous wild boar, gorging and feasting on draft after draft after draft. I have a couple of teams in contention, but most of them are S. H. I. T. T. Y. The reason? Probably because I suck, but another reason was that I completely faded Brook Lopez. I’m a stupid, stupid man. He was so cheap in drafts (124th player in NFBKC drafts), and those require two centers. There were good reasons, though. He’s 34 years old and was coming off a season in which he played only 13 games due to a back injury. I thought the end was nigh. He did have two seasons early in his career when he played 5 and 17 games, but outside of that, he’s been a relative iron man. This season, he’s played 59 games and put up top 25-ish numbers. On Sunday, he twisted the knife once again to remind me of my stupidity with cannon ball after cannon ball, as I stand sheepishly on the Brook taking the splashes in the face like a man.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Did you know that the title for every episode of the USA series “Monk” started “Mr. Monk …” As in, “Mr. Monk Goes to the Circus”; “Mr. Monk Joins a Cult”; and who could forget, “Mr. Monk and the Man Who Shot Santa Claus”?

I feel like the Kings should be working up a cross-promotion deal to revitalize the series (originally set in the Bay Area), but set up the road in Sacramento and with Malik Monk casted as Tony Shalhoub’s sidekick. Or maybe that’s just the cabin fever settling in since I am in Oregon, where anything more than 3 inches of snow causes mass hysteria and shuts everything down. 

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Denver made a couple of moves on the margins. One was to shore up their backup center spot with the acquisition of Thomas Bryant. While that may help the Nuggets a smidge, it has no bearing in the fantasy realm. Bryant was a hot pickup when he took over the starting center role for a few weeks in LA, but he won’t get enough clock to matter behind Denver’s two-time MVP. Meanwhile, Denver shipped off a disgruntled Bones Hyland, opening up a backup point guard slot. Ish Smith filled in last night (technically as the backup to the backup with Jamal Murray sidelined) and scored 0 points with five assists. The main beneficiary will probably be Bruce Brown, who has been quite useful in spurts this season. Brown (56 percent rostered in Yahoo! standard leagues) has done a little bit of everything, but may get a couple more shots and assist chances if he gets the ball in his hands a bit more. Sliding into the starting lineup last night, he finished with a quiet seven points, three assists, two steals, and a block. He’s still a solid pickup in the almost half of leagues he’s out there in.

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I mean, you can, but would it be allowed in modern English? Perhaps, perhaps not. Am I supposed to know English? But let’s go deeper, something your mother enjoys all the time. In this regard, one might ponder not just about your mother, but also the fact that you can’t spell “luck” with Luka because the dude is just pure talent and skill. Luck is the last thing he needs. And don’t look at me, I’m not a Luka Doncic fanboy either, I’ve honestly never seen so much basketball talent executed in the slowest way possible. Man moves like the most agile molasses I’ve ever seen and I swear it takes roughly 18 minutes to wind up his shot. And the constant chirping… sure, I understand he doesn’t get the same calls like Steph does, but 18 technical fouls per quarter can sometimes be exhausting to watch.

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I’ve always been fascinated with how humans can control other objects. The Shaolin monks are able to access the energy of the universe and light things on fire from a distance. Think Ryu’s Hadoken from Street Fighter. Random people can spin a 10-pound ball down a lane and knock down pins. Others can use a stick and make a ball spin like planets in an orbit around a table. For hoops, the ultimate joy is making the net dance after launching the ball into the air with the perfect amount of backspin. I always appreciated the chain-linked nets. There was nothing better than that sound. In the NBA, there’s no need to ghettofy things as they can supply the finest nylon for their nets. On Sunday, Julius Randle was the conductor of a nylon ballet, putting on a show for the Detroit crowd.

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The legend grows. 

With the Jazz hanging on to a 1-point lead with seconds left on the clock, Collin Sexton stepped to the line and choked away two free throws in a row. But our hero, Walker Kessler, Utah Ranger – who kicks posterior not just for a living, but for America – bullied his way to an offensive rebound and was fouled. 

There, he faced his most challenging nemesis of all: the free throw line. What’s he do? But, of course, he steps up and drains back-to-back; turns, and flashes a look to the camera that says, “Even I can’t believe how much of a badass I can be.”

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Something tells me the Pelican won’t fare well in that scenario, right? Well, that was the case Wednesday night when the Celtics’ Scottie Pippen, “Robin” or what have you – Jaylen Brown – torched the young Pelicans to the tune of 41 points and 12 rebounds in 34 minutes of action. Brown led Boston to a convincing 125-114 victory over New Orleans and he wasn’t alone – top dog, Batman Jayson Tatum bullied his way to 31 points and 10 rebounds of his own.

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The Magic at full strength have a great, young frontcourt, and that was on display last night.  They totaled 78 points, 22 boards, and 6 assists last night.  If you own Franz Wagner, Wendell Carter Jr., and Paolo Banchero, well, that’s kinda weird to have three guys from the same team.  But any of them are legitimate starters going forward, and they all still have some upside.  Unfortunately, if you are holding Bol Bol, he looks like the fourth wheel of this tricycle.  I would hold him and see, but I’m not optimistic.  The other three are better players.

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It was tough to enjoy watching my Ducks eek out the Holiday Bowl Wednesday because every commercial break was chock full of warnings about shingles. I have never known anyone in my life getting shingles, and after that I’m convinced all of us are getting it next year. 

On Friday night, however, Minnesota had to deal with a case of the non-viral irritation known as Ingles: Joe Ingles. [Wow, Phil, way to send off 2022 with the oddest lede/transition yet.] In his sixth game back from injury, Ingles played a season-high 25 minutes and banked 14 points (5-9 FG, 4-7 3pt), 5 boards and 10 assists, and was a major factor for the Bucks in the second half, as Milwaukee pulled away from Minnesota in a 123-114 win. Ingles probably won’t garner enough minutes when Jrue Holiday and Middleton play, but is worth adding to the streamer board as needed. 

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