We’re still pretty early on in the season, but it’s always a good time for some hot takes. What follows will be the totally legitimately definitive ranking of each NBA team when it comes to their fantasy production.

I took the top 100 players in total value and by per-game value, figured out how many were on each team, and ranked them. Very scientific stuff, I know. But no worries, there is a point. We’ll discuss what that means for each team, and for fantasy owners that may have the players mentioned, or have their eye on a player mentioned.

If a team has fantasy gold, does that mean they have great pace? Is it because they have a great record? Without further ado, here are your answers.

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First 30-point, double-double debut by teammates in NBA history per Yahoo! Sports. Friggin’ Brennan Huff and Dale Doback have reunited to stuff shit up. “Look at the turnovers, though!” That’s like telling someone about the terrible gas mileage that their monster-truck gets before the demolition derby, nobody’s gonna care about that right now.

Does the Harden deal leave a bad taste in anyone’s mouth? Can you imagine what would happen if we put on 25 pounds and told our respective partners that they needed to change? Given that Harden played 39 minutes (Durant clocked 40), any physical impediments haven’t manifested themselves, yet, so The Beard’s The Belly doesn’t seem to be anything that should concern us as fantasy owners.

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There will come a day when the aliens present themselves, big bad ships with weapons and all. I’ve watched Mars Attacks! so I know how it all goes down. Their technology will be more advanced so it will be futile to fight them on the battlefield. Our pew pew weapons would be no match against the photon weapons they would likely possess. How about we pit Ken Jennings against their best for a game of Jeopardy? Uh, they travelled through space and time, so no thanks. Our only hope is to have them agree to one five-on-five game of basketball. I’m sure they didn’t pack sneakers and shorts. Any advantage we can get. Now, who would represent Earth? This debate has been going on for a while but the only logical course of action would be to breed Embiid now so that we have a team at the ready when the day comes. Why Embiid? Because he can literally do it all on the court. Look what he did to the Heat last night in a 137-134 victory in overtime.

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I did okay last time I posted my picks here, so why not try again yeah? I won 24% of my bet on 1/5, but I didn’t take my own advice and faded Jarrett Allen. Woof.

No sweat, there’s another chance tonight my dudes and dudettes. It’s another five-game slate that starts at 7:30 ET. Keeping an eye on Anthony Davis’s status would be advisable. If he sits you can find some really great value in Montrezl Harrell, and then LeBron James becomes a more viable play obviously. It’s possible LBJ sits too as the Lakers have a back-to-back, but I would wager if AD sits he’s a go.

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Now that we are two and a half weeks into the NBA season, players are starting to settle into their roles and we are able to identify which players are the real deal. This article is meant to help clarify which players will continue their breakout seasons and can be beneficial to add to your fantasy squad. If you already have them, cheers! If not, I would consider trading for them if they alleviate your team’s needs. Without further ado, here are my picks for early breakout players this NBA season.

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The Nets were mired in a two-game losing streak, dropping games to the Hawks and Wizards no less. Then he heard the news that Kevin Durant would miss the next four games due to COVID protocols. Frustrated, Nash stood up from the couch, heel kicked the soccer ball conveniently laying on the floor, then began heading it against the wall. At first, it was a slow rhythmic pace….thump…..thump…..thump

Then thump..thump..thump..thump..thumpthumpthumpthumpthump. The woodpeckers in the neighborhood all flocked to the noise and gawked in amazement at the display of pecking dexterity. Then he heard it. “Honey, rewind that. And turn up the volume.”

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I’ve managed to end up in the positive three of the last four days while netting 65% of my bet, on average, with my biggest win being 10x my bet. The one day I didn’t hit was because I faded Steph Curry on a career night. Whoops. It happens. Let’s see if we can get the big one now and cash out.

And, by the way, screw Dwane Casey as I had Delon Wright in all my lineups last night. Way to go, you a-hole.

It’s a five-game slate tonight that starts at 7:30 ET and with the news midday yesterday that Kevin Durant is going to start a seven-day quarantine means people will be flocking to Kyrie Irving and Caris LeVert in droves. It’s probably not wise to fade both of those guys, but fading one can make your lineup contrarian enough to nab the big one. I’ll probably fade one in 1/3 of my lineups, then the other in 1/3 of my lineups, and have 1/3 of my lineups with both. One important thing to keep in mind that a lot of people will overlook is that LeVert had his 61.3 Fanduel point blowup without KD AND Kyrie.

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We’re just a shade under 1/10th of the way through the season, which is not at all a marker but something to think about, I guess. Overreactions abound during this time as owners of players who start hot begin designing their customized championship t-shirts and owners of under-performing players make poor choices by cutting the line far too early. It’s only week two, everyone just CALM DOWN!

One thing is for certain: We’re starting to get an idea about which teams are for real and which ones aren’t all that good. And there have been some surprises. In fantasy, it’s key to start looking right now at the struggling teams. Why? They’re far more likely to shake things up than a team that is groovin along. That means player values will shift and there’s space in there for a savvy fantasy manager to gain some value.

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