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Greetings from November Madness, AKA the NBA final play in tournament pool night!  Now that I read it, November Madness doesn’t work. No alliteration.  There were a few exciting games, though. Boston over Chicago This, however, was not one of the exciting games.  Wow is Chicago bad.  Like, they gave up a putback dunk to […]

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I started writing a movie plotline starring Damian Lillard in Canada as a male counterpoint to Stella in the Bahamas, but decided to spare you fine readers that pending trainwreck (and possible violation for racial insensitivity from the Razzball board of directors) and get right down to basketball.  With Giannis taking the night off, Lillard […]

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Another fantasy season has started and the weekly Buy/Sell column is here to guide you and help you decide which players to buy low or add from the wire and which players to sell high or flat out drop to improve your chances for fantasy domination. Before diving into the recommendations, it would be amiss to not include the following from Stephen Curry.

Chef Curry with the chef’s kiss move on Dilon Brooks. The offensive flow of this guys is truly unmatched.

Usually this introduction will feature a recap of last week’s suggestions, so this will happen as per usual with next week’s article. For now, let’s go to the players we will discuss.

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Welcome to the 2023-24 Fantasy Rankings! We’ll continue this wonderful (is it? Yes!) journey with other positions and formats, including all positional rankings for both Roto and Points leagues, and then of course wrapping it all up with our Dynasty Rankings. What will be released is just the pure rankings; analysis and other amazing draft preparational content (ooooh, sounds so official) will be released after our aforementioned rankings “journey”. Remember, it’s not about the destination, but the friends we made along the way! Especially if it ends in a Fantasy Championship, in which case, it is sorta-kinda about the destination, which is also fine. Because who cares about friends when you can hoist a trophy in their general direction? I mean, I’m talking both literally and figuratively here folks. Just as long as you hoist, it counts. As they say, it’s all about the hoisting… (I think.)

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Lo and behold, it is the gift quote that keeps on giving… Not only is “The Hardest Road” still very much meme-worthy, mostly because the always fragile Kevin Durant still seems a bit hurt that Chuck labeled him a bus-rider dating back to last season, and Durant can’t help but remind us every time there’s a mic within a five-mile proximity (the irony of doing this in a Suns jersey is too rich for my blood), but also because of the insane yet symmetrical home-road split that the Warriors have sustained. Probably with dark magic or something. So many hard roads, so little time!

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The NBA season will be entering the silly season soon, especially with the number of Victor Wembanyama Fatheads plastering the HQs of a handful of teams increasing, and Vic’s shadow darkening the landscape. Or brightening I guess, depending on the perspective. While we will start seeing ridiculous lineups and rotations and begin mouthing “Who did what?” more often than we’d like, it’s been silly in Denver all season due to Nikola Jokic. The things he does on the basketball court are such a joy to watch and they often don’t come with the Da Nana, Da Nana. Last night, Jokic made a mockery of the NBA yet again with:

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After Julius Randle hit one of the more ridiculous game-winning threes last night to push the Knickerbockers past the Heat, I came up with the above headline. The only problem: I’ve never actually had an Orange Julius – which may be a sin in some cultural circles. Without a frame of reference to consider how Randle may compare the American quencher, I turned to my wife for help:

“It’s like better than an icy.” “I thought it was a smoothy. So it’s like an icy?” “No it’s not an icy.” “So what is it?” “It’s hard to describe. It’s indescribable. It’s like magic.” “So it’s like a mix between an icy and a smoothy?” “No. You’re obviously not getting it. Who are you trying to compare it to?” “It doesn’t matter, I just haven’t had one so just want a description to see if there’s any comparison.” “The most delicious thing I’ve put in my mouth.”

And that was the end of that conversation. 

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