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Greetings from November Madness, AKA the NBA final play in tournament pool night!  Now that I read it, November Madness doesn’t work. No alliteration.  There were a few exciting games, though. Boston over Chicago This, however, was not one of the exciting games.  Wow is Chicago bad.  Like, they gave up a putback dunk to […]

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I started writing a movie plotline starring Damian Lillard in Canada as a male counterpoint to Stella in the Bahamas, but decided to spare you fine readers that pending trainwreck (and possible violation for racial insensitivity from the Razzball board of directors) and get right down to basketball.  With Giannis taking the night off, Lillard […]

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Another fantasy season has started and the weekly Buy/Sell column is here to guide you and help you decide which players to buy low or add from the wire and which players to sell high or flat out drop to improve your chances for fantasy domination. Before diving into the recommendations, it would be amiss to not include the following from Stephen Curry.

Chef Curry with the chef’s kiss move on Dilon Brooks. The offensive flow of this guys is truly unmatched.

Usually this introduction will feature a recap of last week’s suggestions, so this will happen as per usual with next week’s article. For now, let’s go to the players we will discuss.

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Welcome to the 2023-24 Fantasy Rankings! We’ll continue this wonderful (is it? Yes!) journey with other positions and formats, including all positional rankings for both Roto and Points leagues, and then of course wrapping it all up with our Dynasty Rankings. What will be released is just the pure rankings; analysis and other amazing draft preparational content (ooooh, sounds so official) will be released after our aforementioned rankings “journey”. Remember, it’s not about the destination, but the friends we made along the way! Especially if it ends in a Fantasy Championship, in which case, it is sorta-kinda about the destination, which is also fine. Because who cares about friends when you can hoist a trophy in their general direction? I mean, I’m talking both literally and figuratively here folks. Just as long as you hoist, it counts. As they say, it’s all about the hoisting… (I think.)

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Lo and behold, it is the gift quote that keeps on giving… Not only is “The Hardest Road” still very much meme-worthy, mostly because the always fragile Kevin Durant still seems a bit hurt that Chuck labeled him a bus-rider dating back to last season, and Durant can’t help but remind us every time there’s a mic within a five-mile proximity (the irony of doing this in a Suns jersey is too rich for my blood), but also because of the insane yet symmetrical home-road split that the Warriors have sustained. Probably with dark magic or something. So many hard roads, so little time!

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The NBA season will be entering the silly season soon, especially with the number of Victor Wembanyama Fatheads plastering the HQs of a handful of teams increasing, and Vic’s shadow darkening the landscape. Or brightening I guess, depending on the perspective. While we will start seeing ridiculous lineups and rotations and begin mouthing “Who did what?” more often than we’d like, it’s been silly in Denver all season due to Nikola Jokic. The things he does on the basketball court are such a joy to watch and they often don’t come with the Da Nana, Da Nana. Last night, Jokic made a mockery of the NBA yet again with:

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After Julius Randle hit one of the more ridiculous game-winning threes last night to push the Knickerbockers past the Heat, I came up with the above headline. The only problem: I’ve never actually had an Orange Julius – which may be a sin in some cultural circles. Without a frame of reference to consider how Randle may compare the American quencher, I turned to my wife for help:

“It’s like better than an icy.” “I thought it was a smoothy. So it’s like an icy?” “No it’s not an icy.” “So what is it?” “It’s hard to describe. It’s indescribable. It’s like magic.” “So it’s like a mix between an icy and a smoothy?” “No. You’re obviously not getting it. Who are you trying to compare it to?” “It doesn’t matter, I just haven’t had one so just want a description to see if there’s any comparison.” “The most delicious thing I’ve put in my mouth.”

And that was the end of that conversation. 

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Welcome to March everyone! March Madness will be the headliner later in the month, but until then we have some good ole NBA DFS to keep us busy. We have a slightly more moderately sized nine-game slate here. #1 piece of advice as always is to be up to date on injuries, as the info in this article will only be up to date as of Tuesday night. The value is pretty terrible right now, we’ll need injury news to get up to multiple spend ups.

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Did you know that the title for every episode of the USA series “Monk” started “Mr. Monk …” As in, “Mr. Monk Goes to the Circus”; “Mr. Monk Joins a Cult”; and who could forget, “Mr. Monk and the Man Who Shot Santa Claus”?

I feel like the Kings should be working up a cross-promotion deal to revitalize the series (originally set in the Bay Area), but set up the road in Sacramento and with Malik Monk casted as Tony Shalhoub’s sidekick. Or maybe that’s just the cabin fever settling in since I am in Oregon, where anything more than 3 inches of snow causes mass hysteria and shuts everything down. 

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The universe got jokes. In 2014, Jerome Dobson and Joshua Campbell from the University of Kansas published a paper called “The Flatness  of the US States” back in 2014. Their motivation? To clap back on the general perception of Kansas being flat. NERDS!!! Anyways, I’m not going into to the technicalities of the study but they deduced that Florida, Illinois, North Dakota, Lousiana, Minnesota, Delaware, Kansas, Texas, Nevada, and Indiana are the flattest states in the US. On Sunday, Kyrie Irving was traded from the Brooklyn Nets to the Dallas Mavericks, so from New York to Texas, where he should automatically feel a oneness with the terrain. 

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LeBron James has been an All Star for as long as some NBA rookies have been alive after being honored for the 19th consecutive season. You might have heard that King James is also closing in on a certain auspicious all-time record as well. But LeBron is pacing (pun intended) himself now, after coming under his season average of 30 points per game for the third time in his last four with 26 points in Indy on 11-of-19 shooting. It was just enough for the Lakers to complete a comeback they desperately needed. James added his patented seven boards and seven dimes, while also canning a pair of triples. On a night full of stars, it’s only fitting we start with the brightest of this generation.

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