As we prepare for the 2016-17 Fantasy Basketball Season, I’ll be taking a look at each NBA team with their major adds and drops to see if we can pan for any surprise rotational gold. This open is especially witty for the Nuggets... We’ll be counting down from worst NBA regular season to the best, mainly because I’m still figuring out how to rank the Warriors…
Utah Jazz (40-42)
G George Hill
G/F Joe Johnson
F Boris Diaw
G Trey Burke
F Trevor Booker
A terrible logo!
Hell yes! Look at the Jazz bringing sexy back, using their old school look as their official logo of 16-17
Ya know, this team reminds me of a defensive-minded version of the Wolves. Oodles of young talent, they barely made any changes, and I think Slim will indeed get his wish and see them as a postseason team. Slim loves his Jazz! I think it’s just because they’re a team in the West who didn’t burn his Heat…
Anywho, the position where they made the biggest change was a MASSIVE upgrade at PG, so A+ in the offseason moves department! And oh man, wait until you get idea of what this second unit is gonna be… Here’s how the 16-17 Utah Jazz are coming together for the upcoming season:
Yesterday afternoon was a frenzy! A frenzy because no Mozzy! About as crazy as I was last Saturday about Fozzy! Go Panthers!
Our prayers have been answered with Timofey Mozgov
getting shipped out to Cleveland for two first round picks. Two first-rounders?! For Healthcare.Mozgov?! Well, they're like controlled picks from Memphis in some sort of hooblah where all that matters is they're not going to be very high. Not as high as say, Afroman! Or 16th! That's where Jusuf Nurkic
went in the first round this Summer, originally picked by the Bulls then traded. Good thing for Nurkic! It originally seemed really muddied there in Denver at C, but JaVale McGee
just can't get healthy, and Mozgov couldn't go 3 minutes before getting multiple fouls. So out ya go TinaFey, and huge role ahead for Nurkic! At least 35 minutes every night given how good he's been! Andddddddd, only 22 minutes for 8/4/3/1/2 last night. Still respectable numbers though! Given one of his made FGs was this
. To quote my favorite sound from 90s gaming, "Oopsie
!" Or whatever he really says... Anyway, J.J. Hickson
is still there to give us a headache, as he went 11/10/1/2/1 in 30 solid minutes. Yikes. I still love me some Nurkic, and to the patient man goes the spoils! Something like that... Kinda lost in all of this yesterday was Hickson's deep league value shooting up. He's not a terrible player for some Pts/Reb relief in a very poor man's Zach Randolph
kinda way now that minutes should be coming. While many owners are mad they didn't scoop Nurkic up quick enough, shoot out some buy lows with who you would've dropped, and maybe last night's dud is enough to sneak Jamba Jus into your Mini-mall. That sounds so wrong... Here's what else went down on a busy night of NBA action:
If you're a Harry Potter fan, then you're in the wrong place. Gave me a punny title! All you're good for, Rowling... Some friends tried to get me into that noise and there's like these whore-cruxes hidden around the world or some crap?! Made no sense at all. Get enough whore-cruxes in half the reality shows out there...
Through a few comments over the last couple weeks, I feel like I've had to fight for Donald Sloan as a guy to hold onto and not give up for a peanut shell and ABC gum. The sell-high label still applies, but sometimes you gotta just ride the broom like a whore-crux! No idea what that means. Huge night from Sloan in a shocking win at Dallas going 10-14 FG (3-5 3PTM 6-9 FT) 29/2/5/1/0 all with only one turnover. It's been a little under the radar since he's not a huge dimer, but has 2 TO or fewer in 9 straight games. Somebody get Michael Carter-Williams some Sloan tape for the film room! Despite a little bit of a struggle at the stripe last night, is well over 80% on freebies this year. Really his only knocks are low steals and FG%, but if I'm getting mad at MCW (which is tough to do after last night!), all the sudden Sloan's numbers are looking mighty tasty. I still think whatever you get in a trade won't be worth just riding Sloan another month, as George Hill's knee is rumored to keep him out until the latter part of December now. And Sloan's big play should have him above C.J. Watson, who is also lingering into December with trench foot. Who knows, maybe the Pacers go crazy and start Hill and Sloan when Hill is back anyway, and play Stuckey as a 6th man. Sloan's been a big part of any success the Pacers have had, so he'll certainly remain in the rotation. I've written Sloan's name enough for the open here, let's start gushing over some more of JB's favs who did well last night:
Ay dios mio!
Friday was a cryday for me. Then Saturday was a sadderday. Muy triste! Ricky Rubio
severely sprained his ankle in the second quarter against the Magic Friday night, effectively crushing several of my teams and ruining my DraftKings squad
! Seems like every year there's several bad ankle sprains with players rolling their foot on their own, get these guys better footwear
! Rubio's gonna miss at least a month, with a widely circulated update it "could" be 7-8 weeks. All I want for Christmas is Rubio back on the court! I'm holding in virtually all leagues, as he was finally banking on the high expectations I've set for him with my high ranks the past two years. Because we all know the Razzball Ranks
are bulletin board material for NBA locker rooms...
Everything seemed to point towards a massive workload for Mo Williams
, who through the first four games (with Rubio in there full time as the starter), Mo was averaging 21.4 minutes and 3 dimes per. But surprisingly, Flip Saunders went sushi on us with the raw Zach Lavine
getting the start and going 5/6/4 in 26 minutes (only 2 TO) while Mo's 2/4/5 in 22 minutes (3 TO) doesn't inspire any sort of confidence Williams will get more rock. Add into the stew the Wolves were actually in that game against the Heat until the end, and it's a stew I don't think I want any part of anymore. I mean, who puts sushi in a mother f stew?! Here's what else went down over the weekend in fantasy basketball action:
Anyone watch the Mavs host the Celtics last night? Game be scrappy! Rajon Rondo
tackled Monta Ellis
towards the end trying to restrain him for a hard foul, and I got confused if I was watching hoops or that MNF tragedy! Ellis held his knee for a bit there, so let's hope he's OK...
But the big story in that one was Jeff Green
's absurdity. Well, it actually mimicked the absurdity of this game. Down 30 in the second quarter, the Celtics somehow came back - in Dallas - to make it a nailbiter to the finish. The Mavs took Jeff Green as seriously as fantasy owners this year, and he had one of his three monster games he'll have this season. 35/7/2/1/2 shooting 14-28 including 5-12 from downtown. If there was ever a sell high game, this would be it. You need any data to back it up? How about after his last big game - 39/6 with four treys against the Pelicans on March 16th, 2014? The subsequent 8 games immediately afterwards - 11.8/3.6/2.3 shooting 34% from the field. Green is Brandon Jennings
in a SF/PF body. They couldn't even do a Freaky Friday
remake with these two, they'd wake up and look at their new bodies in the mirror and go, "meh, at least I can still get hot one game outta ten shooting the ball..."
Green's first two games were the expected blah, and he just doesn't do anything but score and trey... Glorified ThrAGNOF! Is Chris Copeland
really that much worse than Jeff Green right now? Maybe Citizen Copeland doesn't have this kind of big game upside, but it's why we preach to stream your threeballers. Stream your polyorchids
! Learn something new every day here at Razzball... Here's what else went down last night in fantasy hoops action:
With the full 2014-15 Fantasy Basketball Rankings
now complete, let's take a look at the final 50. Sean Connery. Kevin Costner. Tons of Great Depression-esque costumes. I'd imagine if you're in a deep league and looking at the field below with your last pick or two, you're feeling something like this:
It's pretty hopeless, as in 12-teamers these are all likely guys you're merely starring on your watch list post draft. There's some questionable talent, some questionable roles, maybe even someone that'll give you The Grapes of Wrath
, but some untapped upside! Here’s my top 200 for the 2014-15 Fantasy Basketball Season (based on 9-cat H2H):
Razzball Nation! Man, scary to think there's only a week left of the regular season. Where has all the time gone?! While the majority of leagues have wrapped up, we've still got some extended H2H finals and Roto players out there who need a pickup for The End of the Road. And why not Randy Foye after his 30/5/15/2/0 explosion last night? "Wait, don't you hate Randy Foye JB?!" Shut it, commenter who remembers everything! I do hate Foye, but he's going to get the volume with Ty Lawson out at least another few games with his bum ankle. Brian Shaw is saying Lawson probably will return this season, and coaches never lie or deceive us in the NBA, right?! Cough cough. With only two games on the slate tomorrow, the 63%-owned Foye (which, yes, is probably lower than it should be given the leagues that are over with aren't making moves) needs to be scooped up in all leagues still rounding out their finals. Plus the Nugs schedule the rest of the way is @GS, UTA, @LAC, GS. He's gonna heave up more threes than Jimmer Fredette at the BYU Alumni game! Here's what else I've seen over the last couple of days of NBA action:
Can I has Triple Doublez? Man watching Kevin Love
is fun. I think he should enter the NFL draft. Deep outlets like these
, plus he's almost 7 feet and would never get a pass deflected at the line! I can just picture Kevin Costner and Denis Leary debating over it with the Browns first round pick. "I'm not taking some bearded seven foot douchebag when I've got Johnny Football and a bottle of Johnnie Walker Green!" Eh, was going for a Leary-ism there, it's hard to type it... Huge night for Love, going 24/16/10/1/1 with two treys and continually adding millions to his next contract. All after a report a few days ago that he was "exhausted" after a couple of non-Love-ish games. Unloved games? Something like that. He'll be one of the biggest stories to follow in the offseason, but he's pretty much a shoe-in top-5 pick. In Basketball Monster, he's #3 in overall value and #4 per game. He's stayed durable and has been beastly. Godly. I kinda wanna get a Love bobblehead and put it in my locker and serve him rum. Here's what else went down last night in fantasy hoops:
The Finals are here (well for RCL and most standard H2H leagues)! And if you're like me, and you didn't have Kevin Durant
or LeBron James
on any of your teams and got knocked out, it's baseball time! Shameless plug! Starting next Monday, you can check out my Pitcher Profiles
if you're about to hopscotch to baseball as well. To those of you still in your fantasy basketball playoffs, I HATE YOU! Haha just kidding. It was a whirlwind of sports going on over the weekend: rounding out my baseball drafts/opening night, whittling down to the Final Four in March Madness, Hank Dobson's Mini-Mart and Country performing on the uneven parallel bars in the Independent Nations Games
. A wild time. But what sparked my eye, or ruffled my gander, or something like that the hardest was D.J. Augustin
going career-high on us with 33 Pts. Ended his night with a 33/1/3/1/0 line shooting 10-14 (3-4 3PTM 10-10 FT) in a %s dominatrix. My safe word is "gimme more assists!" A huge Sunday sendoff and a big bounce back from that Turd Ferguson earlier in the week against the Pacers. He's a guy I bet a lot of scuffling teams dropped while streamboating in the playoffs and should be owned in your title run. Not to be confused with your "tittie run", which might be the most enjoyable 5K anyone could come up with it. Here's what else I saw over the busy weekend in NBA action:
If you've made it this far, you are about to head into the championship match week, or perhaps your semi finals. Wait, whut? There are a smattering of leagues only starting their playoffs now?? Madness. In March. Hmmm... that's catchy, should try to remember that one.
I digress. You gotta get your game-face on, your heart rate up! Go to your bathroom, turn up your volume, and listen to some inspiring music
while mean-mugging in the mirror, it's go time! As for me, I acknowledge that if you are indeed in the big dance, you probably don't need me too much. To paraphrase Vince Vaughn in Swingers: "My baby's all growed up!!" That said, should you may have to replace an injured cat or two, may I suggest the following: