Yesterday, I was walking in the woods. The booty call chirps from the male birds filled my ears while the wind blew crispness onto my face like a bug on a windshield. Since the season is autumn, the ground was layered with leaves of many colors; red, brown, and orange. It was pleasing to the eyes, but depressing when I got philomosophical about what I was seeing. The leaves were that color and on the floor because they were dead. As I crunched one leaf, then smooshed another, I began to fall deeper and deeper into a depressive state when……I saw it; a sole Leaf hovering in the air with a ray of light shining upon it. It was center stage, floating, wavering, then eventually started dancing; making a mockery of the autumn wind. This Leaf was none other than T. J. Leaf of the Indiana Pacers, who danced to a line of:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
15 15 1 1 1 2 1/2 6/13 0

Before we mental masturbate over the prospects of this Leaf flying forever, keep in mind that he only played 22 minutes off the bench, and those 22 minutes only came as a result of Myles Turner and Domantas Sabonis not playing. Leaf has some potential, as he’s a big who can rebound, shoot from downtown, and run the floor. Unfortunately, his defense is suboptimal and he’s buried on the depth chart.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

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What a wild first week it was! Players were dropping like flies and no one knows what to do with Deandre Ayton! Each week I will present a list of players who can be picked up from the waiver wire in order to help ease the pain. Note that I will only list players who are widely available at the time of writing, so that you actually have a chance of getting them.

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That song always did/does get me hyped up. Was I the biggest Ja Rule fan? Naw, but I did enjoy some of his songs and he was quite popular when I was growing up. Whatever you or I think about him, you can’t deny that he brought the energy and was a success. Just like Ja Morant of the Memphis Grizzlies, who brings it at both ends of the court, attacks the rim with ferocity, and has the conjones to take the last shot and lead his squad to victory.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
30 4 9 1 1 6 1/2 13/22 3/4

The game went to OT, because Ja blocked Kyrie Irving’s shot in regulation, then he dished a dime to Jae Crowder for the game-winning tres. There was some concern to start the season, as he only played 25 and 28 minutes respectively, but make no mistake about it; this is Ja’s squad and he’s a legitimate ROY candidate.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

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P. S., the postscript, is something that needs to be eradicated. Why? Because it’s a symbol of laziness, and we can’t have that in our modern day society. Hmm, now that I think about it, there’s good lazy and bad lazy. Good laziness fosters innovation, as some of the greatest inventions were created because of it. Bad laziness is smoking weed, eating donuts, and watching tv all day and night. P.S. is bad lazy. Back in the day, when folks would dip their brushes in ink and write via candle light, the P. S. made perfect sense. Imagine spending hours writing a letter, then at the end you remember something. It wouldn’t make sense to scrap the entirety of the letter, hence the postscript. Even after society was blessed with Whiteout, the postscript still had function. Now? There’s no need for the P. S., as everything is done on computer. For those of you who still write letters…..WHY? For you heathens who use P. S. while typing on the computer, you some lazy mofos. Last night in Toronto, a P. S. was getting busy and was definitely no afterthought. Pascal Siakam went bonkers and put up a line of:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
34 18 5 0 1 4 2/5 11/26 10/11

Now, the game went to OT, but whatever. Siakam did most of the damage during regulation and had a usage rate of 35!!!! Kawhi Schawhi. I guess that preseason ADP of 20 wasn’t too high after all.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

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Ah, centers. The literal giants of the fantasy basketball world. There are 56 centers listed below, with the shortest being Montrezl Harrell who stands at 6′ 8″ tall. In the United States, the average height of a male is 5′ 9″, which puts Montrezl in the 99.988 percentile. But he’s the shortest player in this piece. Many, if not most, are seven feet or taller. In the entirety of the world, there are approximately 2800 people seven feet or taller, which translates to 0.000038% of the population on Planet Earth. And 1.7% play in the NBA! Crazy! The outliers don’t stop there, though. Nikola Jokic is the only center who is projected to average over 4 dimes per game, with a whopping 7.5! Since these literal giants tower over the landscape, it would make sense that they dominate the blocks and boards categories. There are 15 players projected to grab at least 10 boards per game. 12 are centers. For blocks, 19 players are projected to reject at least 1.5 shots per game. 13 are centers. Let’s all bow down and pay homage to these titans of the fantasy basketball world.

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A long-time mainstay on the NBA’s biggest stage, the LeBron-led Lakers failed to make the playoffs last season, although there was much excitement surrounding the team. A young core that was supposed to grow and thrive with LeBron running the show, failed to live up to expectations. Results like these don’t sit well with the King, so out with the youth and in with the veterans. The Lakers roster has seen a complete overhaul, as you can see by the above list. How this team adapts to such change is yet to be known, but one thing is for certain, LA is going to be fun to watch and be chock-full of fantasy goodness.  

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Sleepers. Breakouts. Busts. Bargains. Overrated. Underrated. That’s about all we think about in the weeks (months, for many of us) leading up to the fantasy NBA season. Even if your methods are sound, you’re not going to be right about all of them. Of course, that’s mainly due to injuries that directly affected the number of games played or indirectly affected a player’s role. But despite that, I thought it would be fun to review the season’s biggest overachievers and underachievers. Pat yourself on the back for good ones. Know that we feel your pain caused by the bad ones.

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First of all, I want to wish all of you a happy new year with peace, health, and happiness! May 2019 also bring fantasy glory to all your teams. This week was a bit frantic in terms of players for the Buy column, with many injuries creating opportunities, so you will notice a bigger number of proposed players than normal. However, as per usual, let’s first take a look at last week’s suggestions in order to evaluate their performance.

Jeff Green proved to be a productive streamer last week, and may have some more value to give, but watch out for the imminent return of Otto Porter Jr. Marcus Smart was his usual self, racking up steals and missing shots. You know what you are getting out of him, while Javale McGee’s return erased Ivica Zubac, who can be safely dropped. It’s funny that it’s 2019 and I wrote a sentence about McGee returning and making such an impact in fantasy basketball.

Finally, both Dennis Schroder and Terrence Ross continue to be in cold shooting streaks and thus, continue to be high on my Sell list.

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First of all, I want to wish everyone a happy New Year. If you’re just getting into your fantasy basketball season because football is now over, I don’t blame you, and welcome.

I’m not going to sit here and lie to everyone. I am pissed at the Lakers organization. Should I give them another day or two before dumping on their parade? Maybe yes, maybe no. The recently highlighted Ivica Zubac has relegated to DNP duties when JaVale McGee returned from his respiratory infection. I was just trying to think up a good nickname for Zubac. Was thinking “The Tap” (for the “IV” in Ivica), “ZU-LA”, “ViZa” (not to be confused with the credit card), and “Big Z”, just so LeBron thinks Zydrunas Ilgauskas is back in town and lets the kid play. So this is all for naught because it looks like the franchise is opting for the old over the new. With that said, I am holding for a game or two before I cut him loose. I don’t think Tyson Chandler is the key, Zubac should be in the rotation going forward, and I think a night off after his nice run is well deserved. Stay tuned.

As for today’s suggestion, Tomas Satoransky has to be owned. John

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Oh Washington. Like the great Linkin Park song, you tried so hard and got so far (not that far), but in the end it doesn’t even matter.  The John Wall/Bradley Beal combo looks so good on paper, but they never really got the complementary pieces to make it work. Ownership tried to cobble together something resembling a good team, but they could only get second rate players, afterthoughts, and Dwight Howard. I feel for teams like them. You know they’re not going to win a championship, but they’re still pretty good. The timing was all wrong. A bunch of players who were great at certain times in their lives, just couldn’t all be great at once. Ok, now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, John Wall was out for the Wizards and Bradley Beal went 4-40-11-15-0-1-8 on 17-of-33 shooting and 2-of-2 FTs in a mind-boggling 54 minutes of triple-overtime glory. He could be headed to the Lakers or elsewhere, and no one on Washington is really safe from being traded, so for now, Wizards fans are just going to have to enjoy what they have. Pretty much what they’ve been doing for their team’s entire existence… Hopefully, you had some players on the Suns or the Wizards.

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