Tracking Rudy Gobert‘s path to the NBA has been movie worthy. After an accident at his former job at the local steel mill, Rudy had Jon Favreau (he really could be French!) keep his grades up in exchange for Rudy helping Jonny out with the ladies. Gobert almost gave up on his dream for basketball, but Charles S. Dutton gave a heartfelt speech on BEING REAL! Utah fans tried carrying Gobert off the court chanting “Rudy! Rudy!” after that win against the Spurs last Tuesday, but it was a big hazard to the overhead lights.
Derrick Favors‘ ankle turned into a kankle over the weekend, but luckily X-rays were negative and he’s day-to-day. No reason for the lowly Jazz to throw him out there gimpy. Monsieur Elbow time! Filling in for Favors on Friday night, Rudy had one of the best games of his young career for 9/11/4/1/5 shooting 2-2 FG and 5-6 FT. Followed it up with a start last night next to Enes Kanter for 7/9/0/2/3 in 31 minutes. Playing with the big boys! A wingspan that would make a pterodactyl jealous, Gobert should murder blocks for you if you’re able to stream him through the couple starts he’s likely to get this week. No timetable for Favors, but big men + kankles = John Goodman. I mean, not good for a speedy return.
Boy did the Fantasy God of Injuries not get enough human sacrifices over the weekend! This might turn out to be the most depressing NBA recap I’ve ever written. Stay positive JB! Stay positive JB! Thanks inner monologue… Any other advice to help me get through today’s news? Well, remember when in Interstellar it looked like there was no hope due to another Dust Bowl, then he just finds the newly incarnated NASA – – Wait, how does any of that make sense, they didn’t know he was alive yet he was their best hope!? And then there’s that giant plot hole with the planet with the – – it just makes no – – uhughuhguhguhguhgug – – – – F, now my inner monologue is injured… Here’s how the weekend of death went down in NBA action:
BREAKING! – Kings fired Mike Malone, after the Kings were bad without DeMarcus Cousins. Ummmm, what? Ugh, so everyone’s favorite Tyrone Corbin is an NBA coach again. Eesh, I don’t want to work for the Kings now! Getting fired after a top-10 NBA player gets hurt and they drop a few games?!?! Poppycock!
Anthony Davis – Always rough to see the fantasy MVP miss time. Had a chest contusion Friday night and sat out yesterday. Needless to say, my DraftKings team did not do too swell… X-rays were negative, and even though it doesn’t sound too serious, he doesn’t have a timetable. I’d bet he’s back within the next game or two, but I’m certainly not an expert with titties. All I know is they feel like bags of sand…
LaMarcus Aldridge – Had an unbelievable first quarter against the Bulls Friday night, dropping 21. Faded to “only” have 35 Pts on the night, with The Omen dropping 35 in that one too. Combining with Damian Lillard for 70 Pts on 45 shots, it’s starting to look bleaker and bleaker for Nicolas Batum. Was 7/5/5/0/0 that game, with a slightly better 14/4/5/3/0 Saturday. Still, that Saturday line is a beacon of light for Batum lately, and the stats kinda remind me of Corey Brewer. Ouch.
Corey Brewer – Might as well go right to him, as C-Brew had the best week of his life. Four games of 26 assists and 16 steals. Stealin’ & dealin’! Somehow he’s only owned in 44% of Yahoo leagues.
Derrick Rose – After dropping 31 on the Blazers, cooled back off for 14/2/3 in the rout of the Heat. Remember, this is D-Rose we’re talking about… As soon as any game seems decided, he’s going to ride the pine harder than John Henson!
Chris Bosh – A big reason the Heat looked so awful. The Brontosaurus with a calf strain, and those are some long effing calves! Day-to-day, but it sounds like an accrued injury over time and it could be a few. Sigh.
Rasual Butler – Well, that was fun. He’s still getting big minutes as the Wizards 6th man, but no double-digit games the past four. For deepers though, he hit a trey in every one and he’ll hit all 5 rainbow line stats here and there.
Matt Barnes – I don’t think I’ve thrown a shout (or a water bottle) at him lately, but picking it up like a new neck tat! 26/1/0/2/1 Saturday night, plus losing $25,000 for quoting Rick Ross to some Bucks fans. The last five games he’s 14.5/4.2/1.5/1.0/0.7 hitting 2.2 treys per. Saucy.
Nikola Vucevic – One of the few bright spots injury-wise this weekend! Returned Saturday night for an 18/11 dubdub in a shocking 35 minutes. I guess the back is OK! Kyle O’Quinn took the hit right in his KOQ with only 12 minutes on the court. You can move on from the Irishman. Pour one out for your homie.
Evan Fournier – I was starting to write him off, but had a fantastic weekend of 18/6/4 then 19/5/3. If anyone else indeed wrote him off, he’s worth checking the wire for.
Tobias Harris – “He’s the THIRD Magician you’re talking about?!” Buzzer, you been beaten! He’s gonna make so much money his next contract… “Can someone vacuum the diamonds out of my lungs?!”
Al Horford – Well, somebody had a big weekend! 17/7/2/1/2 then 18/8/2/1/2. Those look similar, no? Both against the Magic! Although one opposing O’Quinn and the other Vuc. Even though the Hawks split the two, still twas the Magic. Sell high window!
Evan Turner – Got a start Friday night for the flu-ridden Avery Bradley, and showed off his Bootstraps’ bootstraps – read, terribleness. 13/2/1/0/0 with no 3PTM and 5 TO. Must be fun to only get doses vs. second-unis!
Marcus Smart – The fantasy gods also spiting Achilles! Smart’s out tonight with a sore one, and you’re probably not relying on him in virtually any leagues. Woulda been a fun game to see him run against Philly.
Iman Shumpert – Uggghhhh. Dislocated shoulder, and probably out a month. The Knicks are just a Gargantua black hole the size of an Interstellar plot hole. Plus…
J.R. Smith – …had to sit with a sore heel yesterday. “Heel, J.R., heel!” Tim Hardaway Jr. has a nice fill-in game as a starter going 18/6/2, but had 5 TO and hit only 1-8 from downtown (4-15 overall FG). All while Carmelo Anthony is riding a Hoveround to get to and from MSG. At least it’s a top of the line scooter, with the bajillions he’s making!
Jose Calderon – I said he was basura, and he goes out and plays… OK… 9/3/7/3/0 Saturday then 13/5/5 yesterday, hitting a trey in both. I dunno, seems a lot like “healthy” Jameer Nelson to me. It’s boring-sauce.
Chandler Parsons – Seems like he’s had back issues as far back as I can remember… Missed Saturday, but sounds like he’ll be back soon.
JaVale McGee – I didn’t mention his injury because, well, he wasn’t doing much anyway, but Jusuf Nurkic is looking really good. 9/5/1/2/3 then 10/8/1/1/1 over the weekend, playing 18 minutes in both. But it certainly helped that…
Kenneth Faried – …sprained his ankle Saturday – was able to return – but sat Sunday. Still, Nurkic looks like he’s firmly in the rotation. Take a French dip in that Au Jusuf!
K.J. McDaniels – Played through a kankle Friday, but looked awful for 0/2/0/1/1 and 3 TO in 19 minutes so they sat him Saturday. Then there’s the triumphant return of…
Tony Wroten – …who went 12/3/3/1/0 Friday and held up to play a back-to-back on Saturday, in that epic fail of a loss to the Grizzlies. They were up like 60 points in the 4th quarter! Murder, She Wroten for 17/2/5/0/1 hitting 7-11 FG and 2-3 3PTM. Had his normal dosage of TO-poison, but if your team has built up some tolerance to the toxins, you can give him a run again.
Robert Covington – Everyone go out and Pat Slim on the back. Now starting, and playing unreal. 20/6/2/3/1 hitting 6 treys Friday then 24/9/1/1/0 Saturday including 11-12 FT. Whoa! Is at 92% from the FT line this year, multi-3PTM in seven straight (six of those 3+), and knows kung-fu! “Neo is The One, Trinity!” Pretty clearly a must-own. Certainly looked a hell of a lot better than…
Nerlens Noel – …who had just a brutal weekend. 5 TO and no points Friday, then 4/5/1/4/2 Saturday, which is fine, but shot 1-12 over the weekend with 8 TO. The defensive stats are too good for me to just outright drop him, so I’d try to fearlessly follow Captain N into battle. Deeper leaguers should shoot some buy lows.
Michael Carter-Williams – Tripdub! 16/11/11 with 6 TO per the usual. JB <3 MCW.
Mason Plumlee – There we go! All he needed was a matchup vs. Philly on Phriday to get jump started. 18/10 then 11/13 over the weekend, but man can the Professor drain your FT! F minus in FT class! 1-6 Saturday and at 38% on the year. Needs to study.
C.J. Miles – After that crazy 30-point outburst, moved into the starting line-up and bruised his knee. Sat Saturday, and it looks like Solomon Hill is droppable in almost every league after not doing much temporarily back in the starting line-up. The Pacers are so over the Hill.
Rodney Stuckey – What in the???!?!! 14/14/2/1/0 against Portland, as he’s obviously a rebound-first guard…
C.J. Watson – Had a big Saturday for 23/1/5 on 8-11 shooting (4-5 3PTM 3-3 FT). Hey, he’s a semi-useful starting PG in the NBA! C the J, be the J…
Greivis Vasquez – Well, looks like you can move on from the Twerp. The move to the bench looks permanent, akin to his uselessness.
Lou Williams – I feel like I’ve had to fight an uphill battle to recommend commenters hold onto him, and delivered with a huge weekend of 26/4/3 & 15/1/3 hitting 7 combined treys. It’ll ebb-and-flow, certainly a higher-end ThrAGNOF, but one I’m holding a little more steadfastly against my normal principles.
Kyle Lowry – 11 dimes, 6 steals and 9 TO last night! Did he steal the ball from himself a few times…?
Goran Dragic – Lower back strain near the scaly tail. Probably nothing too serious, but man did the Suns look atrocious without him, getting blown out by OKC…
Tyler Ennis – …but we got a sight of the Ennis! Career-high 11 points on 11/3/2 in junk time, but he’s just on the wrong team for dynasties…
Jodie Meeks – A longer sight of Meeks! And as I warned, not too special right now. 12/1/1/1/0 then 6/2/2/4/0 over the weekend in his first two games, shooting a combined 6-19 without hitting a trey (0-4). The steals are nice, but I think will be bunchy. And I don’t know if he plays much more than the low-20 minutes we’re seeing right now, especially as DET is 2-0 with him back!
Kentavious Caldwell-Pope – My addiction remains intact! As addicted to KCP as I am to the Serial podcast. Man that shizz is addicting… 14/5/1/3/0 then 8/2/1, hit 2 treys in both, but the minutes under 30 ceding to that Meeks run. I’m not married to him in 12ers (i.e. vastly like Lou Williams over him), however he’ll still be useful.
LeBron James – Puts up 41, but a mostly Brow-less Pelicans beat the Cavs. Womp womp.
Tyreke Evans – Man, did he have a hell of a weekend! 31/2/10/1/1 in that win against Cleveland then 34/8/5/2/2 in the epic OT afternoon game yesterday against the Warriors. While I’ve said sell-high multiple times, I’m now going to say SUPER SELL-HIGH! Took over a huge role sans AD, and if anyone is going to give you top-50 value, I’d pull the trigger.
Shabazz Muhammad – Wow, he’s really turning into a reliable scorer! 18/0/3 Friday then the explosion of 28/9/1 last night against the Lakers, taking 21 shots. Given it’s the Lakers, but dayum! Nothing else is reliable AND he doesn’t hit 3s, so he is a scoring-only asset.
Lance Stephenson – Apparently getting shopped, and as a Hornets… “supporter” (I guess?), I’d love to see him out. Just not working at all in one of the NBA’s worst FG% backcourt. Refuses to stop shooting threes, he’s at 16%! The Josh Smith of guards…
Michael Kidd-Gilchrist – Even though Gerald Henderson had a buzzer-beating tip in to put Friday’s game into OT, he’s awful. MKG is a shot in the arm for the Hornets’ explosiveness, and in Saturday’s blowout loss went 15/5/1/1/0. FT stroke looks so much better (5-6 in that one), and I think it’s time to go ahead and grab him in 12ers. Going to be starting again soon, love the energy.
Marc Gasol – Had a massive weekend including 6 blocks in that Hornets OT W. “No en mi casa!”
Mike Conley – 36/3/9 in an OT-aided line, including a redonk 3-pointer to send it into 5-extra minutes. He’s good at basketball.
James Harden – Tripdub! 24/10/10, with that last rebound a hilarious present from the Nuggets. Thanks for taking a shot at the end there! He’s good at basketball.
Trey Burke – He’s bad at basketball. Maybe the most infuriating player in the NBA right now. Reverted back to the old Burke for a 8:9 AST:TO ratio the last three games. The four before that, 32:3. I mean, camon! Pick a Trey Burke version and stick with it!
Guess the Kobe stat line – Ahhhh, I’ve missed the last few! Def didn’t forget today! At Indiana and LAL on a 3-game winning streak. Gonna go off! Gimme 35/2/4 on… 29 shots. Get your guesses in!
Ed Davis – Go back to the bench! Seriously, you were doing more coming off the bench…
Carlos Boozer – 22/13 yesterday. Better stop playing good off the bench or you’ll never start again, you cry-baby!
Nick Young – 29 on Friday hitting 6 treys, then 2-8 FG 7 Pts on Sunday. Ahh, to be a ThrAGNOF…
Jeremy Lin – 14 assists over the weekend, as maybe the move to the bench is helping him out. Still not much to trust, other than owning him and sticking through it will probably drive you Linsane.
Shaun Livingston – He’s had a really good stretch the last four, with 16 dimes and 8 steals. Livingston-la vida loca! Worth some streaming for low-end/low-risk Ast/Stl.
Giannis Antetokounmpo – 14+ Pts the past four games, with at least one swat in each. Remember when his blocks were way behind the 8-ball? Now at 0.7 a game and off 20/5/3/2/1 against the Clips. Getting his Freak on!
Dwight Howard – Welcome back, Superman! And hasn’t missed a beat with a 26/13/2/1/3 line and his usual 8-17 FT. Timofey Mozgov racked up 5 fouls in 14 minutes against him. Taking down Heathcare.Mozgov like a bad website launch!
#OccupyDraymondGreen – Occupying harder than troops in a foreign invasion. 11/13/5/1/4 in the OT marathon during football yesterday, so I didn’t watch a lot of it! Bad scheduling, NBA…
Andre Iguodala – Out of nowhere with 20 points, but nary an assist. Eh, eyebrow minorly raised.
Jrue Holiday – 30/3/9/5/1 in some nasty ballin’-ness. Man, the Warriors and the Pels need to play more often! So much fantasy goodness baked into that cake.
Jeff Adrien – Flip Saunders is flicking us all off. After that nice game against the Blazers in 26 minutes, back-to-back sub-6 minute appearances. And shocker! Lost both of those, while winning vs. Portland… Like the smell of Canal Street on a hot summer day… Fishy…
Arron Afflalo – 31/5/1 against the Spurs in a hot shooting game, hitting 4-6 treys. Nuggets still lost, but hey, they get AA for effort!
Kawhi Leonard – Whew, a lot of news and a lot of injuries, so we end on a huge high note. Double-rainbow! And after sitting the previous two with a hand bruise, should think about punching some walls right before every game! 18/8/4/5/6 shooting 6-14 FG and 6-6 FT. Only 1 TO. What a sendoff game to close out Week 7.
Streamers/Cheap DraftKings Picks:
C.J. Watson (8% owned) – Mentioned above, he’s off a hot game and this is dreamy matchup against the Lakers. Should be out there in your league, and taking a quick gander at DK, he’s only $5,000 tonight.
Jerryd Bayless (2% owned) – This is obviously a huge roll of the dice, but I could see it pay off for deepers. Going against the Suns which should be fast-paced/against a smaller line-up, and I’ll always want to support a fellow JB! He’s been on a nice run the past 4 in a deep league sorta way, and only $3,800 on DK. Off 11/7/2, has a three in 3 of 4, and his FT shooting is astounding. 46-47 on the year, which doesn’t matter as much for DK, but might get a nice boost there in category leagues.
I hope everyone had solid wins in week 7, and enjoyed a great weekend! See ya tomorrow!
