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Remember that scene in Jurassic Park when the SUVs are rolling along the track and the people inside are looking out the windows to get a glimpse of the dinosaurs? Except there are no dinosaurs. This is Jurassic Park, not some bootleg zoo where wild animals are confined to what amounts to a jail cell for humans. The dinosaurs are not beholden to the whims of us silly humans. They will appear, eat, and do their dinosaur things when they so desire. The same thing goes for volcanoes. They do not erupt when the 1:00 pm tour guide gets to the base of the mountain. They do their thing when they are ready to do their thing. Which brings me to Hassan Whiteside of the Utah Jazz. Every once in a while, Mt. Whiteside will erupt for a huge game, like he did back in mid-December: 18 points, 14 boards, and four blocks in 20 minutes of action. Over the past two games with Rudy Gobert out of commission, the tour guides to Mt. Whiteside were selling tickets like hotcakes because he was set to start and crush. If you don’t know where this story is going, then you have a serious reading comprehension issue. He started the last two games, played 30 and 26 minutes, and disappointed. Granted, he endured some foul problems but he only blocked two shots and did not reach double-digit in points or rebounds. As the visitors returned to the safety of their homes, hopes dashed, money wasted, Mt. Whiteside exploded again last night.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
21 14 1 2 3 1 0 10/15 1/2

This is the Whiteside experience. Live it. Learn it. Embrace it. Because when he explodes, it’s a sight of extraordinary magnitude. Let’s take a stroll down memory lane. Back in 2015, Whiteside finished as the number seven player in fantasy. He averaged 29.1 minutes, 14.2 points, 11.8 boards, and 3.7 blocks while shooting 60% from the field. In 2019, he averaged 29.7 minutes, 15.4 points, 13.4 boards, and 2.9 blocks with a 61% field goal percentage. BOOM! That was only two seasons ago! Anyways, here’s what else I saw last night:

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Donovan Mitchell

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
31 3 4 2 0 4 3/8 11/25 6/7

DoMi has now scored at least 30 points 12 times this season. Shoutout to all my homies who know what a domi is. For the first four years of his career, he was a top 50-ish player. He finished 56, 51, 53, and 48. That’s remarkable consistency. Although I fell in love with DoMi during the Summer League before his rookie year….man, he was such a dog that summer. Not only lighting up the scoreboard but hounding guys on the defensive end….I was beginning to have some doubts about his fantasy prospects.

Well, DoMi is posting top 15 numbers this season. Most of the numbers look very similar to his past four years, except…..he’s shooting a career-best 45% from the field and the steals have spiked up to 1.6 per game. We know he can score, and despite the nature of the Utah offense, DoMi still garners a 33% usage rate and jacks up 20 shots per game.

The Pistons beat the Jazz, 126-116 at home. Break up the Pistons!!!

Cade Cunningham

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
29 1 5 2 2 5 5/9 10/17 4/4

Man, Cade is such a smooth operator. He can spot up, break people down off the dribble, step back, navigate pick and roll action, and dish dimes. He never looks like he’s in a rush. He has a chance to be a 1/1/1 player since he racks up steals and gets his Mutombo on. Now, he’s shooting 38% from the field which is his biggest bugaboo and the turnovers are high at 3.7. He’s a rookie though so those numbers aren’t too surprising, and look at the potential he showed last night! The form on the J looks good and he’s an adequate finisher at the rim. As he gets more experience, the efficiency should improve. So should the turnovers. I’m going to have to start racking my brain for a nickname for him. Anyone got any suggestions?

Saddiq Bey

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
29 6 1 0 1 2 5/7 10/14 4/4

Twinsies! Bey is shooting 38% from the field this season. It was just one of those nights for the Pistons.

Trey Lyles

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
14 6 5 1 0 1 2/8 6/16 0

Remember when Isaiah Stewart was being drafted in the seventh/eighth rounds of drafts? Those were good times. Stewart played 22 minutes last night and has averaged 20.9 over the last three games. Lyles has played 20, 28, and 26 minutes over that span.

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The efficiency isn’t great but Lyles can score and make it rain from downtown. He will grab boards and has a steal in each of the last three games. If you need a big, Lyles can be useful. Just keep an eye on the playing time as the music can stop at any time.

Josh Primo

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
11 2 3 1 1 1 2/4 4/9 1/2

My name is Stan and I am a primo stan of Primo. He’s only 19 years old but boy can he get buckets. He’s started the last three games due to all the COVID-related illnesses so he won’t be fantasy useful when the Spurs get healthy. When he does get the occassional start, though, he can be a good source of points, tres, and defensive stats. He’s racked up two steals and three blocks in the last three games.

Jakob Poeltl

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
12 10 3 0 2 3 0 6/12 0/1

Poeltl is shooting 36% from the free-throw line!!! I don’t know if I should laugh or cry. I do know that I want to give him a hug. Poeltl is averaging 12.4 points, 8.9 boards, 0.7 steals, and 1.4 blocks with 59% field goal percentage. That ain’t bad, yo. The free-throw shooting is on 2.4 attempts per game so the impact is mitigated somewhat.

Dejounte Murray

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
24 4 5 2 1 3 1/5 11/19 1/1

I DM DM every night with…..

S.

T.

U.

D.

I heart you.

Top 20 player on the season. He’s AVERAGING two steals per game and could he average a trip-dub at some point? He’s at 18.4 points, 8.2 boards, and 8.9 dimes.

Mitchell Robinson

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
13 11 0 1 4 2 0 4/4 5/9

Over the last three games, Mr. Robinson’s neighborhood has been open for 32, 28, and 27 minutes. That’s huge. Unfortunately, I’m not so sure it’s sustainable since Nerlens Noel has been out of action. Something to monitor but any gentrification in Mr. Robinson’s neighborhood would be a boon for land value.

RJ Barrett

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
31 3 4 0 1 1 3/4 12/20 4/5

On a night when Julius Randle shot 1-of-7 and produced two points, Barrett shouldered the load and led the Knicks to a 111-96 victory over the Spurs. Barrett has four games with at least 30 points. He’s also scored in single-digits eight times. On the season, he’s outside the top 200 for fantasy as he’s shooting 41% from the field and doesn’t contribute many dimes or defensive stats.

Joel Embiid

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
31 8 6 1 2 2 0/1 9/16 13/13

Embiid has attempted at least 13 free throws in a game 72 times in his career. He has seven games with at least 20! He is such a beast in real life and for fantasy. A 1/1/1 big who shoots 80% from the line. The usage rate is 34.6%. The only thing is health. When he’s on the floor, he’s a top 10 fantasy player.

Tyrese Maxey, Shake Milton, and Seth Curry were all out for this one. As a result….

Furkan Korkmaz

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
12 6 2 1 0 2 2/4 5/10 0

…this Furkan guy got the start and played 28 minutes. He’s started the last three games and averaged 36 minutes, yet he’s been a top 180 player since he doesn’t contribute much outside of points and tres.

Mattisse Thybulle

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
10 2 2 3 0 0 2/5 4/7 0

Over his last seven games, he’s played 27, 33, 40, 37, 28, 31, and 32 minutes. He will grab some boards but his medium of choice are steals and blocks. The offense is well, offensive and not aesthetically pleasing but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. When the 76ers get healthy, he will likely return to a reserve role.

Andre Drummond

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
13 11 3 1 1 2 0 6/8 1/3

In 17 minutes off the bench. It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. That is Drummond in a nutshell.

Jalen Green

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
14 5 1 0 0 7 2/6 68/12 0

He’s got hops like a flea but holy g sus, it can be painful at times. The seven turnovers were a season-high and he’s had at least six in three games this season. That said, when he gets hot….

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He’s still only 20 years old and he will get better as time goes on. Plus, he’s had plenty of games with two or fewer turnovers. I’m very curious to see how he develops. Will he be another Dennis Smith Jr.?

Free hoops in Boston as the Celtics prevailed, 101-98 over the Pacers.

Domantas Sabonis

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
11 23 10 1 0 4 0 3/12 5/6

The 17th time Sabonis has messed around in his career. What a funky way of getting it done, though, since he shoots 57% from the field on the season. That was the fifth time he’s pulled down at least 20 boards in his career.

No Malcolm Brogdon. No TJ McConnell. No Caris LeVert. So it was Keifer Sykes and the Lance Stephenson show with a little Torrey Craig mixed in.

Keifer Sykes

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
11 2 3 1 0 2 1/*8 5/13 0

Got the start and played 23 minutes. He had started four games prior and averaged 36 minutes, 10.3 field goal attempts, 2.3 tres, 3.8 boards, five dimes, 0.8 steals, and 14.3 points. Not bad but only usable when the rest of the backcourt is deceased.

Lance StephenSON

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
14 4 1 0 0 2 3/6 5/13 1/2

In 31 minutes off the bench. Over the last three games, he’s played 31, 29, and 32 minutes. He has a 30-point game with a 14-assist one as well. Born Ready is born again! As mentioned in the Sykes section, the Pacers backcourt is deceased, which is what will happen to the fantasy value of StephenSON when they get healthy. Then he will revert back to Stephenson.

Torrey Craig

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
19 4 2 1 0 1 3/4 8/12 0

In 31 minutes off the bench. For most of the season, Craig has played fewer than 20 minutes in a game. Soon, the only Craig we will care about is the one with the list.

Jayson Tatum

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
24 12 1 0 0 8 0/7 7/21 10/11

Do you remember when I said that Tatum would improve his shooting efficiency? Keifer Sykes!!! He’s still at 41% for the season and he’s going to have to go on quite the heater the rest of the way to get to the 45%, a mark he has hit in each of the last four seasons. Despite the shooting efficiency issues, Tatum is a top 25 player for fantasy and is 0.2 blocks shy of geing a 1/1/1 player.

Robert Williams III

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
14 12 1 4 3 2 0 4/5 6/6

In 41 minutes. He is our Time Lord and savior. I traded him two seasons ago in a package for Andre Drummond. Puke. I’m a stupid, stupid man. He’s averaging 9.9 points, nine boards, 1.7 dimes, 0.9 steals, and 2.2 blocks while shooting 75% from the field. He’s a top 25 player and I was always felt that he had this in him so I’m elated and pained tremendously everytime I see him ball the F out. Time Lord, forgive me for my transgression and sin. Could you please open a portal in the space/time continuum so that I can go back and click DECLINE instead of ACCEPT?

Jaylen Brown

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
26 15 6 0 1 0 3/6 11/26 1/2

Brown and Tatum are the new Jordan and Pippen.

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Brown has had some massive games this season (50-burger five games ago and a trip-dub on Saturday). He’s also taken some massive dumps. That said, the usage rate is 31% and he’s a top 60 player for fantasy. The 45% shooting from the field is good but the 76% from the line is less than ideal.

Giannis Antetokounmpo

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
26 13 8 1 1 6 1/5 10/18 5/8

A C performance for G. That’s where we are now when a game that most would sell their souls for only draws yawns from the peanut gallery. We are a fickle and ungrateful species.

Khris Middleton

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
27 7 11 3 0 7 3/7 10/19 4/4

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You’re getting sleepy. Very sleepy. Like clockwork, Middleton just does what he does, which makes sense because of his family name. Harry Locksmith came from a long lineage of locksmiths. Rathmusen Johnson came from….well, let’s just say the ladies were very happy to see them. So it only makes sense that Middleton produces middle-of-the-road results. Khris is a top 60 player for fantasy. He will rarely be on SportsCenter but he just gets buckets. The shooting efficiency is way down this season, though. 43% compared to 47% and 49% the last two seasons. Everything else is close to his career averages. What else did you expect?

Jordan Nwora

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
18 3 1 2 0 1 4/7 7/10 0

With Jrue Holiday out, Nwora has started the last three games and eight of the last nine. He’s averaged 32.9 minutes, 14.6 points, 2.7 tres, 6.8 boards, 1.3 dimes, and 1.2 steals while shooting 43% from the field and 75% from the charity stripe in nine starts this season. That ain’t bad, yo. He will continue to get run for as long as Holiday Grayson Allen are out.

Terry Rozier

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
27 7 4 2 0 1 4/11 8/17 7/8

Terry was scary for the Bucks as he led the Hornets to a 103-99 victory over them. In his last meeting against Milwaukee, he shot 3-of-10 from the field, ending the night with 10 points. There was no deja vu last night as he tickled the twine and made sure it was winning time. Rozier is putting up top 45 production this season, showing that last year’s top 45 finish wasn’t a fluke.

LaMelo Ball

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
23 5 3 0 0 4 4/12 8/19 3/3

Ball has been a top 150 player over the last six games but he’s still a top 15 player on the season. Lonzo is a good player, who has developed very nicely. LaMelo is a very good player who can be a star. LiAngelo is….what a loser. Usually the oldest son gets the crown and leads the family to glory. In this instance, it was Darwin Theory of Evolution in action.

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Miles Bridges

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
17 11 2 1 1 0 0/3 7/19 3/4

Many leap off of bridges. Not good. This Bridges has leaped into fantasy relevance this season, posting top 40 numbers after barely cracking the top 100 last season. Will this Bridges be able to leap into fantasy stardom? It’s possible. I can’t wait to see the development. The percentages are good and he’s 0.2 blocks of being a 1/1/1 player. He’s close to scoring 20 a game, provides tres, grabs boards, and dishes out some dimes. The turnovers are under two as well. This Bridges isn’t going nowhere. This Bridges is on a one-way track Miles into the sky.

Jarrett Allen

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
18 17 1 1 2 0 0/1 8/14 2/2

Top 20 player on the season. Allen is a dub-dub machine who averages 0.9 steals and 1.5 blocks. He’s shooting 69% from the field and 70% from the line. Yummy. One of the bright young bigs in the game. He doesn’t provide tres but whatever. You can find those anywhere. A treasure and one that makes us fantasy nerds giddy like the women in that commercial.

Darius Garland

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
12 5 11 1 0 4 1/6 5/13 1/1

Garland has been struggling with his shot lately, as he’s shot sub-40% over the last four games. He’s at 46% on the season so this is likely but a blip on the radar. He’s scoring close to 20 a night, providing tres, and providing those delectable dimes with some steals. Top 50 player on the season and could up end higher when it’s all said and done.

Evan Mobley

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
17 7 5 1 2 3 0/1 8/14 1/1

Played a team-high 42 minutes. The Cavs won 109-108 in Sacramento, improving their record to 23-18. Break up the Cavs! They are sixth in the Eastern Conference. Is Garland/Mobley/Allen the new Big Three? Man, Mobley is so damn good and Allen is at that level. If Garland continues to develop and gets more consistent, it’s on like Donkey Kong.

Tyrese Haliburton

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
21 2 8 3 1 3 2/6 8/16 3/4

Despite only garnering an 18% usage rate, Haliburton is delivering top 30 production. That’s an efficient energy source which is ironic coming from a Haliburton. Hey, whatever is in the best interest of the share holders. He’s shooting 46% from the field and has had spurts converting half of his shots. The free-throw shooting is excellent at 80%. The points aren’t voluminous but he drains his tres, grabs some boards, dishes out those precious dimes, and gets his D on. 1.7 steals and 0.7 blocks aint’ too shabby.

Neemias Queta

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
11 5 1 1 0 1 0 4/7 3/4

Gesundheit. Queta is 7’0″ and 245 pounds. He was drafted in the second round of the 2021 NBA Draft. He played 24 minutes last night as Richaun Holmes, Damian Jones, and Tristan Thompson were out.

The Trail Blazers defeated the Nets, 114-108 at home. James Harden did not play.

Kevin Durant

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
28 10 5 2 1 1 2/7 9/19 8/8

In 42 minutes. He is so damn good. In real life. In fantasy. In Twitter. Ok, maybe I got carried away there but I don’t see how he doesn’t go down as one of the greatest of all time. Since 2012, he’s never finished lower than 8th on a per-game basis. He’s finished as the numero uno player twice with a bridesmaid in 2015. He’s currently the number three player. He’s averaging 37.4 minutes, 29.8 points, 1.9 tres, 7.7 boards, 5.8 dimes. 0.7 steals, and one block while shooting 51% from the field and 89% from the line. He’s the perfect fantasy player. Please stay healthy.

Kyrie Irving

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
22 8 4 1 1 4 3/8 9/21 1/1

Got the start and played 40 minutes. He’s a top 10 player for fantasy! Fine, he’s only played two games. Ah, it’s a shame he will only play in road games. Sad face. Does Kyrie have the best handle package of all time? Who would be contenders? Pistol Pete? Iverson?

Cam Thomas

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
21 3 0 3 0 3 4/7 8/12 1/2

In 26 minutes off the bench. In the last three games, Cam has played 26, 30, and 28 minutes. He’s attempted 11, 12, and 12 shots and scored 21, 11, and 14 points. He’s also racked up three, one, and two steals. Things that make you go hmmmm.

Day’Ron Sharpe

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
14 7 2 0 3 3 0 6/6 2/3

In 24 minutes off the bench. Nic Claxton only played 13 minutes due to injury and LaMarcus Aldridge was out. Someone to keep an eye out for if those two can’t play and you need big man stats. That would be the Sharpe thing to do.

Robert Covington

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
21 4 1 3 3 1 5/7 6/9 4/4

Our Lord Taketh. Our Lord Giveth. Over the last 11 games, Lord Covington has been a top 20 player. On the season, he’s top 70. He’s been getting some extra run due to injuries and the efficiency has been good. The defensive contributions have been robust as well. Our Lord Giveth. Our Lord Taketh.

Nassir Little

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
13 5 2 1 3 0 2/6 3/9 5/9

The shooting efficiency has been God awful at sub-40% over the last 13 games. Hold up. Shouldn’t the expression be Devil awful then? Anyways, Little won’t deliver much in the point department but he will chip in a Little something something in every category, if you’re into that sort of thing.

Ben McLemore

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
20 5 0 1 2 2 5/8 6/11 3/4

No Damian Lillard. No CJ McCollum. No Norman Powell. So, McLemore got the start and played 31 minutes. He doesn’t do much outside of score and drain tres, but he’s been known to go on heaters from time to time.

Anfernee Simons

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
23 6 11 0 0 3 2/11 10/24 1/2

Top 35 player over the last six games. No wonder Portland wouldn’t trade Simons when teams were inquiring about him despite having a healthy Lillard and McCollum. The kid can ball. The defensive stats are lacking, though. He’s been playing close to 36 minutes a game. If Portland gets healthy, what do they do? There is some uncertainty there.