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Last night was a doozy.  Flummoxing.  I actually had to look up flummoxing to be sure it worked.  And it does!  But there are numerous things that aren’t working for the Kings, mainly Rudy Gay‘s Achilles and DeMarcus Cousins‘ ankle.  Gay actually wasn’t “Leon” down in pain like DeMarcus after DMC fully rolled his ankle, but neither sounds like any sort of fun.  With Cousins, the diagnosis is a “moderate sprain” and I gotta say, a big near 300-pounder putting all his weight on an ankle that turns 90 degrees the wrong way doesn’t sound moderate.  Moderate maybe in the sense that the dude in 127 hours only had to “moderately” scratch his arm to get free!  I’d expect at least a few weeks.  But, “I’m not a doctor, I’m a pool man!”  Then there’s Gay’s Achilles which you could see in his face he was in bad pain and exited pretty quick, albeit under his own power.  We all saw Kobe Bryant limp off under his own power with the torn Achilles, so this one is definitely a hold-your-breath injury.  The obvious immediate add in most formats is Derrick Williams, who I kinda disregarded when he was acquired, but now is in a “you-better-be-able-to-score-a-lot-because-we’ll-need-it” starting role.  Solid 22/11/1 with three treys last night in 40 minutes of duty.  Just added him in one league for the ice cold Terrence Ross for example.  Ross is like, “hey don’t blame me, it’s this effin’ weather!”  Yes – I narrate my fantasy teams.  Someday soon I hope to put on a finger puppet show.  Here’s what else I saw last night in a wild evening of fantasy action:

Jeff Green – Are you kidding me?!  39/9/1/3/1 shooting 14-26 including a mind-boggling 8-16 behind the arc.  I wasn’t kidding when I said last night was flummoxing!  If you can deal him for draft day value or pretty close after this game, it’s an easy hells yea, but doubt you can do much in that range.  May be available in shallower leagues though with frustrated former owners.

Kawhi Leonard – Damn you Slim!  Slim paid Steven Adams to put a bounty on my Kawhi given our REL matchup.  Kawhi got his finger caught on Adams and graphically breaks it.  Since it’s just a finger/metacarpal/hand/whatever, I don’t mind perpetuating the insatiable sadism we have for watching (and rewatching) sports injuries as a society.  Wow – who the hell let this hoighty toighty into the Razzball Nation?!  No timetable yet, but should be at least 3ish weeks.  I’d try to hold if I could in all leagues.

Luol Deng – Awful against his former team.  Way to make em miss you!  2-11 11/5/1.

Tristan Thompson vs. Andray Blatche – TT for 6/7/3/1/1 shooting an awful 3-14 last night.  Multi-cat though!  So before last night (and only because Thompson’s last game isn’t in his Basketball Reference Game Log yet and I’m lazy and not gonna manually do it), here is Slim and I’s bet that started either Jan. 7 or 8 for the past 6 games for both:

Thompson 14.7/10.2/0.3/0.3/0.8 & 1.3 TO while shooting 58% FG/69% FT vs.

Blatche        14.7/8.0/2.2/0.8/0.5   & 1.7 TO while shooting 55% FG/71% FT

So it’s crazy close.  For what it’s worth, Basketball Reference’s Gamescore ranks TT’s 6 games at 12.9 vs. Blatche at 12.0.  But that factors in stuff like fouls and whatever… I think it’s close to a dead heat, even with Thompson having a rough one last night.  Sure Blatche’s per 36 are much better, but I think this is a barnburner and closer than I woulda thought.  Crazy they’ve scored the exact same over 6!  We’re such nerds Slim…  “Nerds!”

D.J. Augustin – Is ausome.  Augustome?  Something like that.  8-14 (5-8 3PTM 6-6 FT) 27/5/7 and the best $1 buy in the REL’s brief history.  Of course Kirk Hinrich would get hurt heading into my matchup against him… Been an unlucky year.

Taj Gibson – Tied his season-high as Carlos Boozer sat again.  A crazy 43 minutes for Taj for 26/5/2/1/3 in a near-rainbow with no TOs.  Needs to be owned in most leagues.

Jeff Teague – Had a few people about ready to drop him.  Hopefully I helped you stay true!  7-14 (2-3 3PTM 7-8 FT) for 23/5/2/3/0.  Not exactly a knock-off-your-knickers kind of game, but a huge step forward for the slumper.

Pero Antic – Was cold only shooting 2-9, but hit yet another three while double-doubling for 10/12/1/1/0.  Played over 33 minutes and should be owned in 14-teamers.

Paul Millsap – Rainbow line!  What a pick he’s been for you given the draft day cost.  24/6/5/3/5.

DeMarre Carroll – 17/8 with three threes, but aggravated a hammy.  The last time I aggravated a ham was when I bought a turkey instead last Christmas.

Victor Oladipo – RainbOladipo in da hizzouse!  Well, was a block short, but huge 24/7/7/2/1 game shooting an uber-efficient 8-13 (2-2 3PTM 6-7 FT) and only 2 TOs.  I could not pound my chest more after calling him a huge buy low after he got benched.  Was even dropped in some 12-teamers like in one of my RCLs.  Hopefully I helped a few people get a huge 2nd half.

John Wall – Trip-dub!  But not enough to outplay… Jeff Green??  Crazy game.  28/11/10/3/0 but shot only 9-29 and had 6 TOs.  Seems like a Michael Carter-Williams game a bit, huh?

Bradley Beal – After flirting with that triple double Monday night, 14/3/4 shooting 7-16 last night.  Still like the upside though.

Nene – Continuing to play well while in the starting line-up.  17/9/3/1/1 and needs to be owned in all leagues whilst healthy.  Who knows how long that whilst will be.  He’s got a short whilst.

Phil Pressey – No Rajon Rondo and no Jerryd Bayless has us Meeting the Pressey.  20/1/5/2/1 shooting a very effective 7-10 and 5-6 from deep.  Brad Stevens has praised the rook in previous interviews, but Rondo was just given a day of rest so Pressey can dissipate into obscurity like Tara Reid’s career.

Jared Sullinger – Didn’t make any fantasy owners pitch a tent, but 14/11/1/0/1 with a three is usable.  Did have 4 TOs though.  C’mon Sully, you’re losing too much on the wood!  That’s gross and doesn’t really make sense…

Kris Humphries – Rainbow line!  Hit all 5 cats like his STD screening.  8/6/3/2/3 but shot only 3-10 and I still think this is a mirage.  Humphries future with Boston is likely as long lasting as his last marriage.

Chris Johnson – No, not that CJ1K Johnson.  No, not that big man that got some run last year for the Wolves. But your backup Celtics PG last night got 30 minutes and 4 steals.  Really not much to make out of it, but worth noting down the road for the deepest of leagues.

DeMar DeRozan – Career-high!  A call that worked out in my rankings!  40/3/3/1/1 shooting an unreal 15-22.  Dem video game numbers!  Stop it with your Game Shark!

Kyle Lowry – I’ve called him a sell-high all year and he had one bad game last night.  I win!  Obvious win!  Haha.  A brutal 0-10 3/4/5/2/0 game in 35 minutes while…

Greivis Vasquez – …Got another big run at 34 minutes for 17/2/7/3/0 with three treys.  I don’t think it’s as much Lowry but the horrible play of Terrence Ross that’s helping those minutes.  Three straight good games, double-digit scoring and 7+ assists in all three and trey treys in the past two.  Needs to be owned in 12-teamers right now, 10, meh, probably not on most.

Dirk Nowitzki – Got a random day of rest.  At least that’s what I’ve gathered.  The Mavs were brutal without him.

Los Angeles Clippers – Speaking of brutal, a loss to the Bobcats?!  Say it ain’t so!  Bring back Del Negro!  I’m going to start that chant in the LA streets while people try to ignore me…

Darren Collison – To quote the immortal Christine Taylor in the instant-classic tour-de-force Dodgeball, “I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.”  12/2/5/1/0.  At least hit a couple treys.  Really tapering off the last four.  Chris Paul is saying he is targeting the All-Star Game which is still three weeks out, so I’d try and hold Colly if I could.

DeAndre Jordan – Rainbow!  His rainbows are so unique…  4/20/3/2/2.  Shot 2-2 from the field too.  Give him 30 shots a game, already… Say it ain’t so!  Bring back Del Negro!

Al Jefferson – Long live the buy low!

Ramon Sessions – 10/2/8/0/1 isn’t too awful, but only 2-4 FT?!  C’mon Sessions, don’t be afraid of DeAndre down there!  Take it to the rack!

Evan Turner – Welcome back!  34/11/2 shooting a great 13-22 (3-3 3PTM 5-5 FT) after having some struggles lately.  I mean, anyone can look great against the terrible Knicks D…

MCW – I mentioned him earlier so don’t have to type his name!  Of course, mentioning that now is longer than just re-typing his name, so now I feel like a nincompoop… 19/12/7/2/0 with only 3 TOs but a brutal shooting night going 5-18.  The streakiness of MCW compells you!

Andrea Bargnani – Could only get 4+ or 0 in categories.  And those would be 20/4/0/0/4 with 5 TOs.  Made a fool of himself trying to dunk from far out at one point.  So sad he was the Knicks’ second-leading scorer…

Tyson Chandler – Solid 10/14 3-block game.  Still not the biggest fan of old-man defender.

Omri Casspi – My boy!  20/12/1/1/0 in a surprising 33 minutes.  Apparently it was “Israeli night” in Houston, so this had to have been a little fixed.  Shot 9-15 with 2 treys.  Every night should be Israeli night!  Get him into the starting line-up when there’s no Terrence Jones already!

James Harden throwing alleys to Dwight Howard – The new CP3 to DeAndre!  Oh man, some Clippers fans be angry now!  Was fun making highlights for this game, alley one off the Dwight block I think was my favorite, but two and three were sick too.  Plus Harden had a 24/2/9/2/2 rainbow!  Rockets rocked the injury-riddled Kings.

Patrick Beverley – Razzball’s resident underrated machine with a bad shooting night of 2-9, but 6/6/8/2/1 near rainbow with a triple.  Gotta love every bit-a-dat.

Carl Landry – A deeper league target with the Kings battered up like an onion ring.  6/6 last night shooting only 2-8, but still just coming back from injury.  Could get an expanded role if the hip holds up while Gay/DMC are out.

Brandon Jennings – Brought it back against his former team!  11-23 for 30/4/4/2/1.  Another guy I was very buy low on.  But how the Pistons lost this game to the Bucks, I have no idea…

Kentavious Caldwell-Pope – Season high 44:07.  I didn’t watch any of this game, but that suprised me.  A solid 9/6/4/2/0 line with a three and yet another game with no TOs.  Solid.

Caron Butler – 30 points out of nowhere.  We all hate the Bucks.

Miroslav Raduljica – 8/8/2/2/0 shooting 4-5 and of course he was the one guy I benched on a full lineup in REL.  Sigh.

John Henson – Only 21 minutes, but 12/3 with 3 blocks.  I mean, you don’t love it, but he started and sat early with foul trouble.  Then Drew stuck with Raduljica flanked by smaller 4s.  Henson is just doing too much given the minutes most other nights – he’ll be OK most of the time.

Khris Middleton – Rainbow alert!  A shocking 30 minutes off the bench for 10/2/4/4/2.  KMidd is like, “Ef you Lorde, I can be a Royal!”

Reggie Jackson – 27/2/8.  Shot lights out going 12-17 and 3-3 from deep.  Also didn’t turn the ball over.  Not a single time.  Which is eleven less than…

Kevin Durant …The fantasy MVP had last night. 11 TOs, KD?!  Damn that Spurs defense!  I think he just got distracted by Pops’ wrinkles.  Still just crushing the fantasy-o-sphere with a 36/7/5/1/1 line with 10-11 FT and two treys.  So unfair that I didn’t get a #1 pick anywhere…

Tony Parker – Furious Frenchy!  37/2/4/1/1 shooting 14-22.  8-8 from the stripe as well.  They’re called Fredom Throws for a reason, Frenchy!

Marco Belinelli – Playing really consistent lately.  Double digits in 8 straight, shooting a good FG%, knocking down some threes.  Isn’t setting the world on fire and turns the ball over a tad too much, but the conistency is there even for 12-teamers.  Up to 20% owned which I think is too low.  And the Kawhi injury is only going to help.

Phoenix Suns – Just have no idea how they’re doing this, 24-17 and blew out the Pacers last night.  Nothing huge for fantasy in this game, just mad props to Jeff Hornacek.  If the Suns make the playoffs at all, Captain Short-Shorts better win Coach of the Year.

 

Next game: TNT Overtime is back again!  LAL @ MIA tonight, then Yahoo highlights for DEN @ POR.  Both should be fun games, especially since the Heat are struggling and probably won’t blow out the Lakers.  I hope everyone did well last night and stay warm out there!