I used to hate blowing up inflatables. Basically anything and everything that the kids bring to the pool. Breath iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin. Bllloooooooooooooooooooow. Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin. Blllllooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow. Good thing I don’t smoke anymore. Iiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. Cough. Wheeze. Cough. Blloow. The worst would be blowing up the sex do…..Uh, nevermind. The pumps for inflatable beds are the best. Press a button, listen to the whirrrr, and watch the bed rise, like yeast in the oven. So. Cool. That’s what it was like watching Jusuf Nurkic last season, in the Bubble ironically. He played his first game on July 31st and inflated for 17.6 points, 10.3 boards, four dimes, 1.4 steals, and two blocks in 31.6 minutes. In the playoffs, he averaged 32.3 minutes and put up 14.2 points, 10.4 boards, 3.6 dimes, 1.4 steals. and 0.2 blocks. Then the Bubble popped, both literally and figuratively. He played 12 games to start this season then proceeded to miss the next 32 games. Upon his return, he played 10 games and averaged only 21.4 minutes. Over the last two games, though, he played 29 minutes in each. He’s slowly been inflating. Yesterday, he played 29 minutes again and….

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
16 19 5 1 2 2 0 6/13 4/5

Top 25 player over the last three games. He’s inflating at the right time as the Blazers are sitting at 7th in the Western Conference and could make some noise in the playoffs if everyone is healthy.

Here’s what else I saw yesterday:

 

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Dillon Brooks

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
18 8 0 1 2 0 2/5 5/16 6/7

I sauntered down by the Brooks yesterday. I felt a drip on my head. I looked up and….Drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip. Tres were splashing all over. The wildlife that populate the Brooks were much appreciative as the vegetation needed water.

Jonas Valanciunas

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
21 10 2 2 0 0 3/4 9/17 0

Tied for third in the NBA with 41 dub-dubs. That’s a lot of patches for the varsity jacket.

Ja Morant

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
28 8 3 2 0 4 3/4 8/15 9/12

It’s been a rough year for Morant, huh? Ja. You haven’t been feeling the top 175 production on the year, huh? Ja. He’s been top 25 over the last four games, though. Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja rules.

GraySON Allen

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
9 5 2 1 1 1 0/4 3/12 3/3

I have a thing for players who stuff the stat sheet. It’s my fetish. Allen played 27 minutes and he’s averaged 30.7 and 10.9 shot attempts over the last eight games.

Damian Lillard

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
23 6 5 1 1 1 4/10 8/27 3/3

SSS – Stat Sheet Stuffer.

Why is my inbox inundated with emails from Germany with Heil Hitler in the subject line?

Rondae Hollis-Jefferson

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
1 1 1 1 1 0 0 0 1/2

It’s a disease. A sickness really.

Deandre Ayton

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
20 13 3 2 0 0 0 9/12 2/4

Only the eighth 20/10 of the season. I do not like that Ayton. Prior to yesterday, he went 10/9 and 10/5. Shrug. Still, top 50 player on the season. Disappointing considering the draft equity and expectations but better than I thought to be honest.

Devin Booker

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
36 3 1 0 1 3 4/5 12/24 8/9

Top 70 player on the season. Only the 16th time going for at least 30 points. Do we need to get him a pimp so he starts putting out more?

Torrey Craig

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
20 14 0 0 1 1 2/4 6/9 6/6

Played 32 minutes off the bench. Jae Crowder and Dario Saric were out which contributed to the elevated playing time. Prior to yesterday, he had received more than 20 minutes in a game just four times in 19 games.

Kyrie Irving

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
34 6 12 0 0 3 5/7 10/19 9/9

Top 5 player on the season. Numero dos over the last 14 games. The world looks flat to me.

Kevin Durant

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
33 6 4 2 1 1 2/3 12/21 7/8

In 28 minutes off the bench. I think future generations are not going to appreciate just how good Durant was. Sometimes I think many now already do it for silly reasons.

Blake Griffin

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
16 5 4 1 1 1 2/3 6/9 2/3

Make it stop!

Jayson Tatum

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
19 11 2 1 0 5 1/5 6/16 6/7

CeLtics got smoked, 104-125 by the Hornets. Tatum did his thing, though, but he didn’t bring his A game. Channing called Jayson to console him. “It’s like that time I forgot my lines for that movie. It happens, Jayson. Don’t worry. At least you won’t ever have to make C movies like me.”

Kemba Walker

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
20 6 4 2 0 0 3/9 7/17 3/5

Jaylen Brown

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
20 8 2 2 0 3 2/7 8/22 2/2

Jinx!

Marcus Smart

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
17 1 4 1 1 1 3/7 5/11 4/4

I’m screaming for help! Intervention, please!

PJ Washington

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
22 12 5 1 1 1 4/6 8/12 2/3

Citizens of the United States. Please turn in your $1 bills to your local bank on Monday. You will be issued crisp bills with PJs face replacing that of George.

Cody Martin

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
13 10 5 1 2 1 1/2 5/9 2/2

Started his second consecutive game and played 31 minutes. He received 24 minutes the game before and put up six points, three boards, and one steal. It was the first time scoring in double-figures since….Shit, that was the first time all season!

Terry Rozier

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
21 5 11 1 1 2 5/9 8/18 0

4th 20/10 game of the season, with all coming in the last month. When LaMelo Ball returns to action, the usage and productivity are going to dip. Nothing to be scared about because Scary Terry has been nothing but extraordinary and will continue to be exemplary.

Jarrett Allen

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
27 12 2 2 3 3 0 10/12 7/9

You go to Jarrett, you get bling.

Darius Garland

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
28 4 9 1 0 6 4/8 9/20 6/6

In 40 minutes. Top 30 player over the last three games!

Bradley Beal

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
33 6 3 1 0 2 2/4 13/24 5/6

It’s usually Westbrook who leads the way, but Beal said….”Look at me. Hey! Look at me. I’m the captain tonight.”

Daniel Gafford

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
12 6 2 4 4 0 0 5/7 2/3

In 27 minutes off the bench. The playing time has been inconsistent, as he had received 15, 24, 16, 16, 26, 16, 18, and 17 in the prior eight games. When he’s on the court, though, the usage rate has been over 20 in four games and he’s blocked at least one shot in seven with two games with four. So, that’s three games with four blocks in each. Why is Alex Len still playing? I thought we lived in a meritocracy. HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Giannis Antetokounmpo

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
31 14 4 1 2 2 1/3 11/17 8/10

A straight G. An O G. G also plays D. Everyone wanna be a G. CGI because it doesn’t look real what he does. Definitely not P G.

Jrue Holiday

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
19 5 11 2 0 1 0/1 8/11 3/5

Back in the day, people would be named due to profession or what they did. What a life the Holidays must’ve had. For a Holiday, Jrue definitely puts in a ton of work and gets busy.

John Collins

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
18 5 2 1 1 1 1/3 7/12 3/4

Top 50 player on the season, which is disappointing considering he was drafted in the second or third round in most leagues. This Collins does not have the invisible touch.

Bogdan Bogdanovic

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
32 1 3 3 0 2 6/11 12/21 2/3

Top 15 player over the last 17 games. Who let the Bog out?! Woof. Woof woof. Who let the Bog out?! Woof. Woof woof.

Malcolm Brogdon

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
24 8 9 0 1 3 3/7 10/17 1/1

Aaaaaaaaalllmmmmmooooossstt messed around. Brogdon has only messed around one time in his career. Thought it would be way more. At least he’s not a virgin.

Edmond Sumner

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
21 7 2 1 0 2 0/3 7/13 7/8

In 37 minutes! Sumner heat. I know what you did last Sumner. Where are you sending your kids for Sumner camp? Sumner has started 12 of the last 13 games due to all the injuries. Has he been great? Niet but he’s contributed points, tres, boards, dimes, and steals while shooting a good percentage from the field. He has shown that he has a place in the league.

Justin Holiday

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
20 7 2 0 0 2 6/8 7/11 0

Another Holiday getting busy. I think a name change is in order. This is unacceptable.

Chuma Okeke

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
12 3 3 3 0 1 2/5 5/12 0

In 30 minutes. The Holy Trinity.

Wendell Carter Jr.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
10 13 1 0 1 1 1/1 4/10 1/2

Got the start but only played 21 minutes. This Carter Administration is an efficient one. I hope that future generations take heed.

Dwayne Bacon

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
20 5 1 2 0 0 1/3 6/15 7/8

I love sizzling Bacon. Enjoy these meals because usually, it consists of straight doo doo.

Mo Bamba

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
17 7 2 2 1 0 2/4 6/9 3/4

In 25 minutes off the bench. He’s played 25 and 28 minutes the last two games. It’s happening!!!…..I hope. Are the Magic going to go Twin Towers at some point?

Harrison Barnes

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
23 7 2 0 1 3 5/9 8/16 2/2

Mehrrison Barnes had a good game. I’ve been dogging him for what seems like forever so I have to give him his due. He’s a top 80 player on the season. Over the last eight seasons, he’s cracked the top 100 for fantasy only twice.

Tyrese Haliburton

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
24 3 8 1 0 1 2/7 10/20 2/2

Played 37 minutes. With De’Aaron Fox out due to health protocols, Haliburton predictable struck oil and balled the F out.

Buddy Hield

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
25 6 3 1 0 1 6/8 9/13 1/1

He hucks. He chucks. He blows….Well, sometimes he just straight blows while other times he blows your mind with hyper-efficiency. Our Buddy is a good companion when that happens.

Draymond Green

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
8 14 13 1 1 4 0/1 4/6 0

Dray is the equivalent to the guy or girl who has a smoking hot body but lacks in the IQ department, which is ironic because Dray’s basketball IQ is off the charts. Ok, maybe bad analogy. How about Dray is the equivalent to the hot guy or girl who has only one eye?

Stephen Curry

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
37 7 4 1 1 7 7/14 11/21 8/11

There’s some hidden code in the above numbers. I’m sure of it.

Mychal Mulder

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
11 0 0 0 0 0 3/6 4/8 0

Before the game, some of the Warriors coaching staff said to Mulder, Stay. In. Yo. Lane. This is why Mulder gets run because he follows instructions. If you don’t believe me and think it’s still a mystery why Mulder started and played 14 minutes, seek out Scully. She will open your mind.

Kelly Oubre Jr.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
19 7 0 0 0 1 1/7 8/17 2/2

Played 31 minutes off the bench. Oubre has come off the bench in each of the last four games. He’s still getting the minutes and the change is probably a good one because he can feast on second-unit usage and soak up Curry-less usage.

  1. Luguentz says:
    (link)

    The Nurk returneth just in time!

    On other Blazers news, is Covington a drop in points leagues (18team)? Name value, be it in terms of fantasy rep or quasi-lordship, does not bring you that chip. Not great options on the wire, but could go for a speculative shot with Poku.

    • Son

      Son says:
      (link)

      I’m good with that. Poku is inconsistent as well but he does play 5 games this week

      • Luguentz says:
        (link)

        Thanks! In my haste I forgot to mention that I also have Goodwin. Does that move the needle or is it still Roco for Poko, rather?

        • Luguentz says:
          (link)

          (I should take more care with my editing) Markkanen is also on the wire, but is there value to him? My post sequence looking like Covington’s recent shot chart here

          • Son

            Son says:
            (link)

            Friends don’t let friends Markkanen

        • Son

          Son says:
          (link)

          Would rather have Roco than Goodwin

          • Luguentz says:
            (link)

            Many thanks! Made the switch with seconds remaining. Bye week ends, playoff starts, quite excited!

            • Son

              Son says:
              (link)

              Good luck!

  2. Take flight says:
    (link)

    Thanks Son – 12 team H2H, would you rather have this week:
    plumlee, Stewart, Dwight Powell

    • Son

      Son says:
      (link)

      I have no idea how DET is going to handle to minutes but I’m going with Plumlee, despite playing only 3 games. I have no faith in Powell whatesover

  3. Mr. Blast says:
    (link)

    AYO!

    Semi Finals. We here baby ! Job is not done until those PMR’s are at zero though!

    Was hard to do this last night, but I dumped Stewart for Birch’s 5 games.

    Stews 3 game schedule wasn’t fitting with what I’m working with this week. Thoughts ?

    Bummed I’ll be without Fox for a few (in Covid IL), but I did grab Delon as handcuff..

    Squad in this H2H – 12 team – 13 cat league –

    Curry / FVV / Lowry / Conley / Schroder / McConnell
    P. George / Covington / Poku / Delon / Bertans
    Capela / Wendell / Noel / Birch

    _____________________________________________________

    His squad –

    Westbrook / Russell / Graham / Maledon / Melton
    Greek / Derozan / A. Gordon / Hardaway / M. Bridges / Brissett / J. Holiday
    Gobert / J. McDaniels / Bamba

    I’m slightly concerned, as I’m going against Greek / Westbrook / Gobert (all with 4 games)

    My Curry / George (only 3 games a piece)

    And of course I could be dealing with Toronto DNPs (Lowry / FVV)

    Available FAs – Roby / Powell / Campazzo / Clarke / Seth / Sato / Ross

    Holla at your boy !

    • Son

      Son says:
      (link)

      AYO!

      Nice job! Yeah, you gotta do what you gotta do now.

      Not looking good, my man. Pray and stream

  4. waffles says:
    (link)

    woooo semifinals

    tonight for 9 cat
    Mo Bamba (LAL) or Isaiah Stewart (ATL)?

    thanks!

    • Son

      Son says:
      (link)

      Tough. Stewart for me

  5. Take flight says:
    (link)

    One more question for you! With KPJ coming back, who would you drop:
    Poku, Maledon, Roby, RoCo

    • Son

      Son says:
      (link)

      No one

Comments are closed.