A brook is a small stream that invokes a sense of calm and serenity. I see a man painting the beautiful landscape on the canvas held up by an easle. The green grass on the banks reflect off the water while Bruce Lee whispers into my ear, “Be like water.” The birds chirp while the frogs croak. I just want to sit down, cross my legs, and meditate. Ohhhhmmmm. SLAM! BLAM! KAPOW! POP! BOOM! A Westbrook, on the other hand, is….well, imagine a herd of wildebeest crossing the Mara River…..with a bask of crocodiles that haven’t eaten in weeks. That’s Russell Westbrook on the basketball court….and last night he feasted.


Westbrook has now messed around in back-to-back games and last night marked the fifth time this month. Over the last four games, he’s averaging a trip-dub with 1 threeecola and 1 steal. With that said, he’s only been a top 80 player because of the lack of blocks, 68% shooting from the line, and 4 turnovers per game. Beep. Boop. Bop. I was wondering why the Stocktonator was watching so much Animal Planet yesterday, as it had Westbrook as it’s #1 player last night.

Here’s what else I saw last night:


Paul George


No longer a top 10 player for fantasy. He’s now top 5!!! While he doesn’t average a trip-dub like Westbrook, George does provide 8 boards with 4 dimes, while contributing 3.5 threeecolas, 2.3 steals, and 0.5 blocks. He also shoots 44% from the field, 83% from the line, and only turns the ball over 2.6 times per game. Rated M for mature.

Steven Adams


Top 35 player over the past seven games, primarily due to the 68% shooting from the field and 71% from the line on 3 attempts. Who wins? The beast from Game of Thrones or Adams? My $$$ is on Adams.

Terrance Ferguson


Over the past four games, Ferguson has been a top 60 player. A 3-and-D player, you can see the confidence oozing from his body, as he’s attempting over 3 more shots per game than earlier in the season.

So, the Pelicans had a skeleton crew going last night, as Julius Randle (ankle), Nikola Mirotic (calf), and Anthony Davis (finger) did not play.

Darius Miller


Got the start and played 38 minutes. Must’ve been so liberating for Miller, as he was hucking and chucking knowing that there would be no hook in sight.

Jahlil Okafor


Third straight start for Okafor and he received 25 minutes of run. As long as Anthony Davis is out, Okafor is going to start and provide points, boards, and blocks. He’s averaging 2 a game over the past 4 games! 33% from the line on 2.3 attempts, though. I still can’t believe Jahlil is a thing in 2019.

Jrue Holiday


He’s going to have to be the guy with all the injuries. Let’s see what you got Jrue!

Elfrid Payton


Elf had a usage rate in the 16-18 range. Last night, that number was 21.9. Good times in New Orleans. Even better times in LA perhaps? Yes, I’m a pathetic Lakers fan.

Cheick Diallo


Played 23 minutes off the bench and was a vital part in bringing the Pelicans back in the game last night. Just keep in mind that he was the only other big man available last night. Coming into last night’s game, Diallo played a total of 13 minutes this month.

Draymond Green


Top 50 player on the season. Is he the most unique player in NBA history? I could take that in some many ways, but fundamentally, Green could be the most underrated and overrated player at the same time.

DeMarcus Cousins


Got the start and played 24 minutes. Hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaah.

I was skeptical that he could return from that Achilles injury so soon. Hahahahahahahahahhahahaha. I’m a fool.

Stephen Curry


#3 player for fantasy. Curry has 5 on it, as he’s averaging 5.2 threeecolas, 5.1 boards, 5.5 dimes, and is shooting 93% from the line on 5 attempts.

Trevor Ariza


Over the past five games, Ariza has been a top 25 player, averaging a whopping 40 minutes per game. 20.4 points, 3.4 threeecolas, 6.8 boards, 5.4 dimes, and 1 steal are juicy numbers. Too bad they are being wasted in Washington D. C.

Bradley Beal


Played a team-high 40 minutes with a 29.3 usage rate. With Wall out of commission, Beal is going to dominate the ball and continue having a sky-high usage rate. Looking ahead, SAC and WAS are the only two teams that play 12 games during the playoffs.

Tomas Satoransky


Since the Wall came crumbling down, Satoransky has averaged 33 minutes, 11.2 points, 5.3 boards, 5.5 dimes, 1.5 steals, and 1.2 threeecolas. Over the past five games, he’s been a top 40 player. See, Donald. We don’t need no stinkin’ Wall!

Otto Porter Jr.


We know Otto contributes across the board, so no worries there. But much of his value always derived from his pristine efficiency. Well, he’s been shooting around 35% lately. No bueno. But, but, but…..the volume has increased, as he’s averaging 14 shots per game now. He’ll start shooting better, and when he does, Otto is going to be accessing some ceiling games.

Jusuf Nurkic


Nurkic has been such a beast this season, as he’s a top 25 player. With that said, he’s always had bouts of inconsistency, so of course he struggled against one of the best matchups he’s had in a while. Damn, I sound like a whiny little biatch. I’ll brush it off as a shit happens moment.

Damian Lillard went 24/3/3/2/2 on 7-of-16 shooting, while C. J. McCollum put up 20/3/2/1/0 on 8-of-15 shooting. So cute that they often have such similar lines.

Jake Layman


Played 33 minutes off the bench. Over the past eight games, Layman has been a top 100 player. He’s providing points, threeecolas, and rebounds while shooting 58% from the field and garnering a usage rate of 19.3. Jake from State Farm he is not.

Seth Curry


Played 30 minutes off the bench. Blow out run against the Suns. Nothing to see here. Go check out his bro, though. I heard he’s pretty good.

Josh Jackson



Devin Booker


Yuck. Jackson must’ve wiped his cooties onto Booker.

Kelly Oubre Jr.


Played 35 minutes off the bench. Oubre has been a top 50 player over the past seven games. Check out these numbers: 29.1 minutes, 19 points, 2.4 threeecolas, 6.4 boards, 2 dimes, 1.4 steals, 1.4 blocks, and a usage rate of 26.9. Hip hip Oubre!!!

Taj Gibson


Continues to start and played 28 minutes. The Taj Mahal will be open forever it seems.

Andrew Wiggins


He’s a top 200 player, yet he continues to lead the team in shot attempts most games. I have a frown that doesn’t want to turn upside down, and I’m not even a Timberwolves fan.

Karl-Anthony Towns



Derrick Rose only played 12 minutes because he injured his ankle. He’s had issues with both his ankles and heel lately, so something to monitor.

Jerryd Bayless


Played 30 minutes off the bench. With Jeff Teague, Derrick Rose, and Tyus Jones out of commission, Bayless is going to get plenty of run.

Kyle Kuzma


The boards and dimes are nice, but Kuzma has a relatively low floor when he shoots poorly because he doesn’t contribute much in the D cats. He’s been a top 150 player over the past few weeks and is top 100 on the season.

Brandon Ingram


Top 300 player for fantasy. Ha! Poor free throw shooting and, while he contributes across the board, those contributions are a little too small.

Ivica Zubac


Got the start and played 21 minutes. Tyson Chandler DNP-CD and JaVale McGee played 22 minutes. It’s a fluid situation and Luke Walton could employ the three-headed monster at any moment, but Zubac has been playing well and may have carved out a significant role for himself.

Rajon Rondo


Got the start and played 37 minutes in his first game back from injury. He’s a must pickup, as Lonzo Ball is out for at least 4-6 weeks.