Well Ello there, Poppet! Bootstraps Bill Turner pulled a scoop and squat shot with under a second left to pull off the upset of the century…. It’s only been 15 years this century, it could be true!
Evan Turner put together a solid 12/7/9/1/0 line hitting 4-11 from the field and all 4 freebies with only 2 TO. Ending the first half on a high note! The move back to his more natural SF spot is finally paying off, as he’s averaging at least 6/6/6 (THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST!) the past 4 games. The FG% is terrible, but I guess I have to believe a little in the out-of-position dimes. The greatest trick Miss Turner ever played was convincing me he wasn’t fantasy usable! Well, he still isn’t ever going to be a stalwart on 10 or 12 team squads due to the low %s, TOs, and absence of 3s, but a lot of teams could use his popcorn stats for their build. He’s like Lance Stephenson, but actually worth owning! At least for now, if he sticks with Boston until the end of the year… Here’s what else went down in our last busy slate of NBA games before the All-Star Break:
Jason Smith – The mid-range is falling! 25/7 hitting 10-16 from the field, but did nothing else of value. Boooor-ing!
Langston Galloway – Eesh, needs some of Smith’s mid-range magic! 1-6 from the field in a pretty empty 8/2/3/0/0 line in 24 minutes. That said, hit 6-6 FT and didn’t have a TO. Still enough upside with the possible trade of Jose Calderon and the definitive shutdown of Carmelo Anthony looming.
Channing Frye – Dislocated his left index finger, so he’ll be doing less indexing. Why is it called an index finger? Because people never index and it’s a worthless term for a worthless finger? Meh, should be fine after the break so still not surge in my KOQ for Kyle O’Quinn.
Paul Millsap – Had a rough shooting night, but hurt his hand. “I feel like I’m shooting with an oven mitt on!”
Danny Green – The Tarhell Triple! Hit 5 of em in a rainbow 19/8/4/2/2 line with no TO. That’s how to bust out of a slump! Hopefully you got a buy low in there to roll in some Green.
Kawhi Leonard – Double up the Spurs rainbowers! 8/6/4/4/2 but shot a horrific 2-12. Is that goal regulation size or what?!
Kentavious Caldwell-Pope – KCP! MVP! 20/3/0/0/1 hitting 7-15 with a couple of treys. One of those blocks was on Kawhi in transition! You wily KCP, you…
DeMar DeRozan – At least a good player hit a game-winner last night! Turner burn! 23/3/2/3/0, hitting only 6-18, but that includes the big one. And 10-10 FT. Good to see DD back with the big cleave.
Lou Williams – The Lou was sweet last night! Hit 8-16 including 4 treys with that beautifully sweet 7-7 FT. And almost rainbowed for the icing on top! 27/4/1/2/1 with no TO. Why you stick with the ups and downs of Sweet Lou.
Jonas Valanciunas – Sheesh, can’t fault you for not sticking with the ups and downs of the Lame Lithuanian. Only 16 minutes for 6/5/0/0/0 with 3 TO. I would still try and hold strong with the lame, even with the dwindling flame. It’s a Brad Evans player!
John Wall – If anyone is looking forward to a break it’s Wall! Fighting through injuries and migraines for a 21/4/8/1/0 line with a trey. 5 TO is no bueno, but kudos for Wall avoiding some DNPs through these past few weeks, unlike a lot of other studs.
Drew Gooden – Man, feels like the past few years we’ve gotten these weird Gooden blips! 10/12/3 on 5-12 shooting. Taking advantage of Kris Humphries out with love sickness. I miss Kim! At least her new man acts like a moron all the time…
Anthony Davis – Vacating the All-Star Game like a Little League title! Little League burn! Hopefully he’s resting up to have a big second half for meaningful basketball…
Toney Douglas – Extra E Toney! 14/1/7 in 25 minutes, given a lot were in some brutal junk time. The Pelicans still lack a true PG with Jrue Holiday on the shelf, so some deep league usable minutes should be there after the break.
George Hill – Took full advantage of the Pelicans going PG commando! 17/3/9/2/0 on 6-11 FG (4-5 3PTM 1-1 FT) in only 29 minutes. Break up the Pacers!
Kevin Love – Pow, right in the kisser! Well, I think that means in the mouth… Love got conked in the eye… Hit him in the eye! My brother used to yell that at hockey games… Anyway, Love suffered a corneal abrasion, which sounds like some sort of corn recipe. He’s traveling with the Cavs for tonight, but could end up being held out if they can’t find suitable goggles at the Chicago Lenscrafters.
Timofey Mozgov – Healthcare.Mozgov sure shoved around waiver darling Hassan Whiteside last night! 20/7/2/0/2, but a lot of buckets were right-place, right-time sorta putbacks. And Whiteside still played well for 17/14.
Shabazz Napier – Whoa, look at the facilitator! 6/2/8/1/1, and the only Heat player to get more than 3 dimes. Eh, it’s still kinda a mess and Dwyane Wade will limp back into the line-up at some point…
Luol Deng – Rainbow alert! 17/7/2/2/2 with 3 treys. Ends the first half on a high note, but he had 3 COMBINED steals and blocks his previous 7 games. If he can be a sweetener in an All-Star break deal, I’d see what you could swindle.
DeMarcus Cousins – The spirit of Karl amped him up! 28/19/5/0/4 in Ty Corb’s last game, albeit with his typical 6 TO. Imagine how good Cuz would be in 9-cat if Karl can cut (alliteration!) those TO in half.
Khris Middleton – Like an annoying fingerprint, can’t get him off the glass! 15/10/3/2/0 with no TO hitting a trey. He’s been such a find this past month, I am depressed as hell I gave up on The Duchess early on in the REL.
John Henson – Ya know, you’ll take the line (12/4/0/0/5 on 5-8 FG 2-2 FT) mostly because of the blocks, but he definitely pulls a “who farted?” face every call against him. And got shoved around by the Boogie. Maybe Boogie had gas – ate too many brats pregame. A great comment yesterday was if Henson could go for Jordan Hill after this game, and I would go Hill unless a blocks-only need. Hip should be healed up post ASB.
Ricky Rubio – So I’m going to be the highest ranker of Rubio next year. Just you wait. I’ve never seen him this aggressive with his shot, and maybe it’s a test-case for if he should expand his O next year and the answer thus far has been an easy yes. 7-16 FG 18/9/5/3/0, you wish there would be a few more dimes, but against the tough D of Stephen Curry and the Warriors, the Wolves almost pulled this out. And Rubio got up to 32 minutes. Might be worth a buy in an All-Star break trade for ROS this year too.
Andrew Wiggins – Easy buy low. Only 6/4/4/2/0 and I would be absolutely floored if Kevin Martin AND Thaddeus Young are still on the Wolves post-deadline. I’d bet both are gone, but at least one should be axed.
Mike Conley – Eesh, still a major struggle. Only 18 minutes of 8/1/0/1/0 and barely played in the second half. Needs the healing power of the break! Maybe Terrell Owens can lend him one of those oxygen bed thingies.
Marc Gasol – Equally a rough game. The Grizz need time to hibernate.
Russell Westbrook – Took advantage of the Grizzly Cubs! 24/9/9/1/0 hitting only 4 FG, but 15-15 FT. Feels like every game he’s at a tripdub…
Kevin Durant – Paying off for patient owners in a short week! 26/10/3/1/3 last night hitting 9-15 FG (4-6 3PTM 4-4 FT) and all with nary a TO.
Mitch McGary – Well, there goes that… 0-3 FG in 15 minutes of 0/2/0/0/0 and fouling out.
Monta Ellis – Was doubtful, yet ended up playing. Such a rope-a-dope ending up with 7 steals! Didn’t do much else, but I think the Jazz forgot he was out there…
Bernard James – Here’s the ultimate FU to Dwight Powell – the Mavs sign James the day of the final first half game, and James plays 22 minutes off the bench and Powell gets a DNP-CD. I mean, they might as well cut Powell, try to break up his marriage and frame him for murder!
Elijah Millsap – StealNOF! Doesn’t quite work… But 10/8/2/2/0 for baby Millsap in 37 minutes starting for Joe “my old man back is thrown out” Ingles.
Rudy Gobert – Wahhhhh, Enes Kanter is whining and says he wants to get traded, even though everyone knows he must be licking the balls of the Jazz management. I mean, he’s starting over someone everyone knows is better, and he’s complaining!? Enes the penis, that’s for sure… Anyway, Gobert had another 4 blocks last night in an otherwise poopy game, but if the starting minutes are there, we’ve seen what he can do. Easily a must-add in all leagues if owners dropped him, which I’m sure many did.
Nick Young – Well, for all the talk we gave him on the Pod yesterday, now Nick Young is hurt… Hah, well it wasn’t exactly fantasy-relevant talk, but suffered a left peroneal tendon strain which sounds like an alien virus. It’s more or less an ankle tweak that might cost him a few after the break, but if Swaggy has somehow helped your team I wouldn’t do anything rash.
Ed Davis – Big Ed with the big D! 8/11/3/1/3 in 24 minutes off the bench. Erstwhile, Tarik Black is starting and is a James Cameron’s The Abyss out there…
Robin Lopez – Fineeeeee this was a useful game, I give in. JOKE’S ON YOU NO I’M NOT! Terrible, and not ownable in any leagues, he missed a FT and got a TO?! Garbage! Rather Andrea Bargnani…
The Rockets lay a Brickhouse – Houston for 9-45 from 3-point land. The NBA record for 3s attempted in a game is 49, and here’s a tip – when you’re shooting 20% from deep you shouldn’t come close to that record! Of course, trying to tell Josh Smith to stop taking 3s is like telling Katt Williams to stop getting perms…
DeAndre Jordan – Hack a Jordan! 12-26 at the FT line, and that volume surely cost a lot of owners their matchups this week. At least he Goroed again! 24/20/2/3/2 to put a rainbow line on top of it. Although I could see his last rebound getting vacated (damn, shoulda saved the Little League joke for here…) as Chris Paul almost grabbed it then let it slip through his fingers so DJ could nab it. Fishy I say!
Spencer Hawes – As we talked about on the Pod, this game was tailor-made for more small ball, and with DeAndre getting his, there’s no room for two 7-footers. This line-up ain’t big enough for the both of us! Hey, at least Samurai Spence can hit his FT!
Streamers/Cheap Daily League Picks (? eh, probably not any daily going on tonight…)
Tony Snell (10% owned) – I imagine that ownership is a direct reflection of there being only one game tonight and he’s off a hot one. Jimmy Butler is unlikely to suit up, so Mach Schnell! Snatch up Tony!
Mike Dunleavy (34% owned) – Really no other options, and Mikey D is still out there in 2/3 of leagues and should get good minutes sans-Butler even off the injury. He said he felt good in his return Tuesday, so 28-30 minutes a few treys should be there.
I hope everyone had a solid shortened week, and we’ll catch you for a short daily notes tomorrow!