What a game in London! One of the biggest franchises in the NBA, losers of 15 straight heading into yesterday’s international soiree, were the heavy underdogs to the Bucks. Yikes.
Best player in the game? Probably my boyfriend! Brandon Knight went all Guy Ritchie on the Knicks for 6 Snatches and a 20/5/6/6/0 line. Hit two threes and continues to be a FT% beast with 6-6 from the stripe. Really the only annoying thing about Knight right now is he only had one game this week! Friggin’ Brits. Stealing our ideas like “sovereignty” and “not beheading people”. Black Mirror is pretty dope though! There is one thing about Knight that is actually a little concerning – papi no likey el TO! 3.4 per game with another 3 yesterday. But so far in Janurary – very small sample bias – they’re down a tad. Really like Knight ROS, and as a possible husband. Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy basketball action:
[NOTE – I’ll be out of town Monday, so I’ll be back with the weekend/Monday recap on Tuesday!]
Carmelo Anthony – Melo’s knee is still jello! “You put the spoon in the bowl and crush up the Roofies and stir it all around!” Easiest joke ever. Cosby is like a comedy pinata right now, just one little tap and candy comes out! Hah, so many ways to take that line… Anyway, the Poppycockers are about at that level as well, and yes I’m comparing the Knicks to Bill Cosby. 25/3/2/3/1 for Melo, but looked less than 100% and had 8 TO. Every news update says sell-high, which I of course agree with, but Melo also said he intends on not missing much time anymore. Until the All-Star break I’m guessing!
Jose Calderon – Meh. 11/3/9/1/0 hitting three treys and this was closer to what I thought he could do this year coming into it, but this was like his 2nd or 3rd best game on the season. Calderon loves his Eurotrip!
Amar’e Stoudemire – Welcome back! You get 8 minutes… Well, that dream run earlier in the year sure seems like it was only a dream!
Cole Aldrich – Man, even with STAT barely playing it looks like Aldrich has been booted out. Only 14 minutes for 2/4/1/0/0. Looks like he needs Melo out too to really be an Aldrichie Aldrich.
Langston Galloway – Rough game for The Harlem Renaisaance, shooting only 2-9 from the field for 5/1/4/1/0 and 4 TO. That said, second highest minutes behind Calderon who makes more sense to trade away than virtually any player in the NBA.
Zaza Pachulia – Can’t stop the Zaza! Yet another dubdub for 11/14/5. His post-presence is mammothian! I don’t think that’s a word… It’s a little up and down but he’s fairly usable right now, if you can handle the non-blocks.
Kendall Marshall – Ugh. His knee went out on him and the Bucks said it’s only a sprain, but I’m not too encouraged. Gives Kidd one fewer guy to tinker with his rotations with…
Ersan Ilyasova – Just hasn’t been the Six-Foot Turkey’s year! But finally got back from a concussion to play 12 minutes of 0-6 FG basketball. There’s a big hole for PF minutes on the Bucks, so if he can shake the rust off I could see him playing mid-20s minutes pretty quick and be useful in even 12ers. But no rush.
O.J. Mayo – 8-14 FG (4-6 3PTM 2-2 FT) 22/1/0/0/0. ThrAGNOF!
Khris Middleton – The Duchess! K Middleton for a very solid 14/6/5/3/0 and a pair of treys. I wonder if he galavanted around London claiming to be related to Kate Middleton.
Kevin Durant – The Durantula needs to take more shots! 24/10/1/0/3 on 8-12 FG (4-6 3PTM 4-4 FT). I don’t get why he didn’t chuck up 20 shots! Especially when…
Dion Waiters – …led OKC in shots. Um, what? 6-16 from the field for 16/1/2/0/2. It’s a solid line and all, but there’s no reason he should be leading the team in shots in 31 minutes off the bench.
Reggie Jackson – The return of R-Jax! After being an afterthought in the Scott Brooks’ rotation lately, 16/6/6/1/1 in 25 solid minutes. Got a lot of time along with RW on the floor, so maybe OKC is going back to letting Jackson play his SG minutes. For now, this is just a one-game anomaly in an otherwise downward trend.
Russell Westbrook – Quaddub alert! 16/8/8/5/0 with 8 TO. You’ve been P-Bevved!
Steven Adams – ya know, per-minute he got some nice stats! 5/2/0/1/1, but played only 15 minutes.
Brook Lopez Threeway Rumors – It’s the talk of the tabloids! Brolo would go to OKC, Lance Stephenson to Brooklyn and [Wahhhhhhhhh I’m] Jarrett Jack and Jeremy Lamb to Charlotte. The Hornets need a backup PG in the worst way (Brian Roberts, sorry…) and it would be awesome dumping Lance. Who would play PG in Brooklyn until Deron Williams is back, Marquis Teague?!?!? Low blow… Eric Snow! Come out of retirement! And this would destroy Steven Adams… There’s also rumors that Brolo could go to Miami and Denver. Make so much less sense there…
James Harden – Grey gives mustache rides, Harden gave us a beard ride! Huge game for 31/9/10/1/0. I couldn’t bring myself to do it, but how about Slim saying he’d take Harden over LeBron on draft day?
Donatas Motiejunas – Only 29 minutes in this one, but started again and played well again. 14/4/3/1/0 with a couple of treys. D-Mo is still owned on the down low! Still at only 32% owned.
LeBron James – Looking spry out there! But this “old man two weeks off” is not boding well for his pre-season ranks the rest of his career.
Kevin Love – Speaking of old man issues! Had some back spasms pop up and he almost left the game in the third quarter, but came back for more run in the fourth. 17/7/1/1/0 and if you can spread the Love to your other league mates, now is the time. Well, maybe after these back spasms heal up.
J.R. Smith – Still a usable line for 14/4/2/1/0 and 3 treys, but much tamer than his 8 treys/29 Pts last time out. Yup, ThrAGNOF!
Tristan Thompson – Not letting Mozzy Bear claw him out of a role! 5/11/0/0/2 last night in 32 minutes. He apparently turned down a $52 million contract. He’s a dumbass wild stallion, doesn’t wanna get tied down!
Tarik Black – Reggie Miller sounded like he was really into him. Like, “Hey Tarik, I like your profile pic, swiping yes on Tinder!” 16 minutes of 8/4/1/0/0 on 3-4 FG and 2-3 FT is underwhelming, but even some dude in the crowd I could hear yelling “give 28 more rock!” Or something like that… Maybe Black, Reggie and Jack Nicholson have a love triangle going on.
Jordan Hill – Whoa, maybe he should hyper-extend his knees more often! 10-14 FG for 20/6/1/3/1. Was ballin’ in the mid-range! Of course, any time Hill plays 32 minutes and plays great, he’ll get thrown into the 25 minute dregs…
Austin Rivers – Traded to daddy. He won’t matter much there, no one else in the deal matters, this is just overblown because of the confluence of Rivers. That’s pretty much all that happened yesterday, right?
Kobe Bryant – Pysche! What in the wide world of sports?! Sets a career-high in assists for a 19/6/17 line. Had a dimebag at half! Hit 7-14 FG and 3-6 3PTM and I felt like I had smoked a dimebag watching this game… If only he was playing every night, we could bring back Guess the Kobe stat line! I’m glad it’s retired though… No more “sorry everyone, yet ANOTHER DNP rest!”
Streamers/Cheap Daily League Picks:
Chris Kaman (18% owned) – Streaming/DFS rules of the land – play your big-role bench guys against the Sixers and play the cheap big men against the Spurs! Worked for Bismack Biyombo on Wednesday night! So I’m using Kaman if I have an open spot in yearly leagues and an easy buy on daily as he’s played 32 then 27 minutes the past two games for the battered Blazers.
Beno Udrih (1% owned) – I’m assuming Mike Conley will sit out tonight with his kankle, so there’s a good chance we get bueno with Beno! He’s actually had a ridiculous season under-the-radar with a 3.2:1.0 AST:TO ratio and hitting 50% from the field. Should be a nice spot-start against the Magic.
I hope everyone has had a solid week so far, and I’ll see ya again next Tuesday. Have a good weekend, Razzball Nation!
