Well, Andrew Bynum is Mr. Glass too… But the other way! And he’s also Mr. Franchise Killer, as the Cavs had to suspend him just to get him to stay out of the stadium. “Hey Andrew, leave the HurryCane at home today, we don’t wanna keep paying the stadium workers to put down the handicap ramps!” Just saves money across the board. Once Bynum gets waived, I think even Obama will be shaking his head at Bynum’s healthcare bills. Anyway, the obvious benefactor to that whole mess is Anderson Varejao, who after his dominating 18/25 game last night has double-digit boards in 4 of the last 5. Varejao was cleaning up the glass like he was the Unbreakable one! The leading rebounder in the NBA last year before he got hurt (at a ridiculous 14.4 a game), Varejao should be a monster in 2014. Although it does help when Nikola Vucevic is hurt and the starting center against you is Jason Maxiell. Hell, I coulda had a double double against them last night! And I don’t even have Jerry Curls! Here’s what else I saw last night across the NBA:
Marco Belinelli – Was on fire last night. A career-high 32 points shooting a ridiculous 12-16 from the field and 6-9 from deep in the game I watched last night. Not surprisingly, played the second-most minutes with the hot hand at 32:40, a far cry from the sub-20 minutes he’s seen the past three. Hell, he outscored his last 5 games (31 Pts combined) last night! Why I believe in ThrAGNOF! You can ride these hot hands for a game or two and see if something keeps up.
Kawhi Leonard – At first glance it looked like a rough game, but a 8/4/4/1/1 line with a trey isn’t the end of the world. We’re not about to have to barricade ourselves in James Franco’s house. Did only shoot 1-5 and 5-8 from the stripe, and this time the 28:07 playing time had a lot more to do with getting his fourth foul in the early part of the third than anything else. And they were some ticky tacks out there. Greg Poppovich turned into a redfaced crypt keeper out there. I thought he was about to hop outta my computer and eat my soul when he was yellin’ at the refs!
Manu Ginobili – Handed out a dimebag with 12, for an extremely effective 11/2/12/2/1 line with a trey. The block was a nasty one coming from behind on J.R. Smith. Msn I would clown J.R. so bad after this game. “You let a bald, old dude swat ya like it was nothin’!”
Iman Shumpert – First off, what in the wide world of sports!? Two crazy things, first that Shumpert put up 27 and was the sole reason the Knicks won, and second, both the Knicks and the Nets won on the road against the NBA’s best two teams at San Antonio and OKC. Wild. Iman for 10-13 (6-8 3PTM) 27/6/1/3/0 was about as out of nowhere as it gets. Not too much to see here. Maybe the Knicks can actually trade him now.
Tyson Chandler – Almost forgot who he was. 4/6/0/0/1 in 22 uninspiring minutes. He’s been fine – I guess – since coming back, but I was never on the Tyson chicken truck.
Beno Udrih – Just proves that you don’t have to be good to produce given the situation. 10/2/7 last night shooting 4-9 and I couldn’t tell you a single one of his assists. Played the second-most minutes behind Carmelo Anthony. Worth a stream spot for some extra dimes until the corpse of Raymond Felton rolls back onto the court.
Tobias Harris – My boyfriend in the second half of last year only got 28 minutes last night. Which isn’t terrible, but this one went into OT and the rest of the Magic starters got 39+ minutes. 10/5/1/1/2 for T (Tobias) and two straight pretty bad games after a nice 5-game stretch. I still hate the Magic. Hate them all.
Victor Oladipo – Another reason why. Coming off the bench now for a sad 6/4/1/0/2 line with 3 TOs shooting 3-9 and 0-4 from deep. Was at only 6 minutes deep in the 3rd quarter. As I mentioned in a comment yesterday, one or two more bad games and it’s buy low for RainbOladipo, don’t think this keeps up, especially after the trade deadline.
Jason Maxiell – You know, I clowned him but he fell his way into a rainbow line. No Vuc got J-Max (sounds like a Jersey Shore name) a 6/6/2/2/3 line. I mean, you just stand around for 43 minutes and anything can happen! Vucevic should be back from a minor ankle injury very soon.
Jarrett Jack – I saw a headline that said “Jack plays well for injured Kyrie Irving.” So I was pumped to see what his statline was. 14/7/7 is nice, but shot 5-16! How is that playing well?! Yeah, I’m looking at you Jarret! What?! His answer? “Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I’m Jarrett Jack!”
Tristan Thompson – I think I’ve found someone Slim likes even less than Richard Jefferson. Impossible, you may retort! I say, “Nay, Slim finds TT his most unfavorable!” 16/10/2/0/0 last night, only 4-8 FT, but c’mon Slim, he’s not that bad just because he only scores and boards!
Earl Clark – I know what you’re thinking, you’re like,”Why the eff is Earl Clark in the cut today?!” Rainbow line alert! 4/2/2/2/2. Sounds like a Denny’s breakfast option…
Stephen Curry – 36/12 with 8 threes. Is just unreal.
David Lee – 13-17 for 32/14. Is just underrated. Basketball Monster has his total value at 31 overall with his biggest negative he doesn’t bang 3s. And we all know my stance on that!
Mario Chalmers – 17/7/3/3/0 with no turnovers. I hated on him early in the year and even when everyone on the Heat is playing he’s still producing. I was wrong on this one…
Kris Humphries – Had a comment pointing his under-the-radar production. Tough to miss a rainbow line though! Well at least for me… They get me excited… 9/11/3/2/4 with no TOs in 26 really effective minutes. Coincidently, playing a lot better since Kanye’s music video with Kim came out…
Jared Sullinger – Tad of a bounce back going 11/11/1/1/0 in 32 minutes. In deeper leagues he’s obviously a hold, but not loving his assists dying. I thought that was going to develop after seeing some nice dimes a few weeks ago. I guess Celtics green had me thinking of dimebags too much…
Jeff Green – Speaking of Green, it was not raining for Jeff. 5-18 for 11/5/0/0/1. I am so happy I traded him in REL. So so happy.
D.J. Augustin – Rough game here, shooting 1-6. 8/3/4 with 4 TOs. Under 30 minutes in three straight while Kirk Hinrich hasn’t been anything either. Tom Thibodeau just loves Kirk so much, and will continue to give him high 20 minutes. Thibodeau’s like Spock, except minus the ears and he ate the Enterprise.
Joakim Noah – Nearly a trip dub! Man, he is just really effing good when Derrick Rose is out. Rumor has it Rose will miss most of the year. Just wanted to cover that, because no one did when it happened.
Joe Johnson – Buzzer hath been beaten! Arrest this man for battery! I heard on the radio that JJ now has 6 buzzer-beaters since 2007 while no one else in the NBA has more than 3. I found that interesting… Now, if only the game-winner did something to help his fantasy line…
Paul Pierce – Some great late-night questions yesterday evening, and I’m becoming more-and-more partial in Pierce getting it back together. 18/4/3/2/1 last night with 4 straight 10+ shot nights now under his belt, taking a season-high 18 in OKC. Only made 6, but hey, more rock through PP means more cleansing of the kidney stones (hah, I feel like muttering off like Mitch Hedberg after that joke… “That one is ridiculous…”).
Deron Williams – Great 29/2/4/5/0 line burying 6 treys. His ankles have been replaced with mechanical ones, like Will Smith’s I, Robot arm.
Perry Jones – Weirdest minutes total last night. 30:10 out of nowhere for 11/1/2/1/1. Went 3-5 from deep, and if I had to make a comp it would be James Johnson. Multi-cat with threes, and if he consistently gets mid-20s of playing time, would become interesting.
James Johnson – Speaking of JJ, 6/6/1/1/2 in another multi-cat line in 22 minutes. If injuries come back to the Grizz like a flopping salmon out of the rapids, JJ would get the attention of a lot of fantasy owners’ upstream swimmers.
Ed Davis – 28 minutes of shining production, going 16/11/2/2/0 on 8-11 shooting. Has clearly passed over Jon Leuer for backup big minutes. Not much I’m doing in 10 or 12-teamers though, as Marc Gasol will even further cloud the Grizzlies big man minutes. Then rumor has it they’re going to also bring back Bryant “Big Country” Reeves, in which case, would flat out be awesome.
Jerryd Bayless – Goes by JB, which is just friggin awesome. As was his game last night, going 6-11 (3-6 3PTM) for 17/1/4. Power to the JBs of the world!
Eric Bledsoe – Missed last night with knee soreness. Moved Gerald Green back into the starting rotation for a 9/2/3/4/0 game, shooting a gnarly 1-7 from deep. But hey, had 25 threes in the past 6 games and if Bledsoe misses another game, don’t hesitate to ThrAGNOF!
Giannis Antetokounmpo – 10/7/5/0/1 in another 34 minutes. How sad is it that he’s the most consistently played guy? Maybe sad is the wrong word, but yeah, for a Larry Drew team, odd.
Larry Sanders – 7-7 FG, 2-2 FT, 16/8/2/2/2 rainbow, it was like the light of the sun was shining through the vapor of sprayed champagne and Sanders finally saw the light…
Ersan Ilyasova – I know I’ve kinda flip-flopped on him, so here is my analysis: worth a grab for the upside if you can handle some dead weight, but would go with some other fringe guy if needing any production immediately. Only 18 minutes last night for 8/3/0/0/0 with 4 TOs. Pretty brutal. Still some upside there though.
Luke Ridnour – Speaking of brutal, how bad is it that Drew played Ridnour a team-higth 37 minutes last night. Yikes! I feel like Drew is an inexperienced cook, just throwing pasta against the locker room wall to see what sticks. More apropos might be a game of darts at a senior center. Either way, Drew rants have been long overdone, so let’s just get away from the Bucks…
Diante Garrett – My boy! Slim was like, “I dunno why you’re keeping Garrett, I thought you don’t want no scrubs…” And I like, “A scrub is a guy that can’t get no love from me, but I be chasin’ waterfalls!” 4-5 (2-2 3PTM) for 10/4/2/1/0 in 20 minutes while John Lucas III got a DNP. Garrett is a little funky out there, but if something happened to Trey Burke, I could see Garrett being interesting, even if Alec Burks took over the main PG role.
Gordon Hayward – When not chucking up labradoodles, hittin’ big rainbows! 22/4/2/2/3. Gets an obligatory shout out.
Chris Douglas-Roberts – With all the injuries to Bobcats 3s, CDR got 24 minutes including a lot of junk time in the blowout loss for a 6-8 20/4/2/1/1 night. I’ve seen him play a couple times this year, and I’m not overly impressed. Not much to see here.
Tony Wroten – I just think he’s a good player, and as I mentioned on Slim’s all-under-owned team yesterday, I strongly support the notion Michael Carter-Williams gets shut down at some point in the fantasy playoffs. Even with MCW healthy, Wroten for a huge 32 minute run for 21/4/3/1/0. Should be owned in far more leagues.
Michael Carter-Williams – Gets props for a rainbow! A lot of rainbow lines last night. Wasn’t his best game, but you’ll take 7/4/5/2/3.
I hope everyone has a great weekend as they return to real life after the Holiday, and I look forward to a full slate next week. Good luck to all your teams this weekend!
