Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t listen to country music… I don’t listen to that emo we talked about last Friday anymore either… This is quickly turning into JB’s music blog (I’ll always shoot anyone some recommendations if you want rock/shoegaze/ambient stuff! Flip side to Grey’s rapcoin!)…
Anyway, I googled The Band Perry, because well, I know that they’re something popular, and the first image looks like some hot chick standing in front of two of the Stark ninnies from Game of Thrones. Which would be a pretty apt way to think about the Thunder a mere month ago. Kevin Durant & Russell Westbrook standing in front of some ninnies. Don’t get me wrong, RJax and Lurch are some exciting young talent, but I preach da truff! Then the injury bug swept the Thunder locker room more aggressively than Ebola media coverage (I would say just Ebola, but even THAT isn’t spreading as fast…), and everyone is hurt. With all that offense recovering and enjoying painkiller prescriptions, somebody was bound to step up. And why not the talented Perry Jones, who I compared in his first mention last year to James Johnson – multi-cat with 3s. I knew the tags would help me! Click on a player name on the bottom of the article there and you get every article that dude was mentioned… Focus! After that huge 32/7/3 breakout last Thursday night, encored it with 23/4/2/2/0 Saturday shooting 9-18 with three treys in a whopping 41 minutes. While his rest of season outlook remains a little murky when the rest of Perry’s cast of Friends return, he’s an obvious must-add for the short term. Another big week, and you can sell him faster than a Courtney Cox sitcom about boning cougars. Here’s what else went down over the weekend in fantasy basketball action:
Michael Kidd-Gilchrist – I was prepared to come into this article with a “I feel awesome through the first week of my calls/picks, and MKG looks legit for 12ers!” Unfortunately whilst watching the Hornets, after an incredible start of 3-4 FG 6/3/0/1/1 in the first quarter, took a really hard fall and had to be helped up. He stayed in the game (missing two FTs right after) for another minute or two, but then left and underwent a CT scan. Turns out all he’s got is some bruised ribs, so it sounds like he should only miss a game or two. Maybe you can wait on the add until the ribs get less tender, the opposite approach of babyback ribs.
Sebastian Telfair – After 11/7 in Westbrook emergency fill-in minutes, got an official start Saturday for 4/4/9/4/0. Saucy! Ty Lawson is like, “what, I had 7 turnovers?! Not my fault my dribbles be bouncin’ off my kankles!” Telfair shot only 1-10 though… Less saucy! Reggie Jackson is traveling with the team for tonight’s game against the Nets, rearing Telfair useless if RJax plays. Deron Williams is like, “Reggie, look out for all the banana peels here in Brooklyn, yo ankles ain’t safe!”
Courtney Lee – I was watching this Grizz/Pacers game, and worthless Roy Hibbert didn’t see Lee on the ground, and kneed the back of his head. Lee had to be helped off the court, obviously very woozy and has a bad concussion. He isn’t too high up on the fantasy radar, but it will mean a little more PT for a mix of Vince Carter, Quincy Pondexter and Beno Udrih. The 71-point win against the Hornets Saturday is all you need to know about a Grizzlies’ committee.
Donald Sloan – 14.0/6.0/6.7 through the first three Pacers games. It’s gonna be legit for a good while, as now Rodney Stuckey joins the swath of injured Pacers guards with another foot injury. I loved Stuckey heading into the year, and his per-36 numbers were fantastic. I think Vogel was playing him low minutes after suffering that first foot sprain in preseason, and they were forced to throw Stuckey out there before he was ready. I’m dropping Stuckey in virtually all leagues, no way they let him play big minutes any time soon. All of which bodes exceedingly well for Donnyboy. The Human Torch was denied a bank Sloan!
Chris Copeland – Citizen Copeland! Averaging 16 points and 3 treys a game after rocking six triples on Saturday. Why you never have to draft threes! Even if Copeland’s thinner dreadlocks and headband matting them down make him look a little bit like a shaggy dog… ThrAGNOF!
Derrick Rose – Here we go again, said not me. I wasn’t gonna touch him! Ankle sprain had him sit out Saturday, helping me to a 5-4 RCL win against Slim. I call it, “The Kiss of the Rose!” He actually sounds fine, and he said he could’ve played but opted to rest. I could’ve played in the NBA too, but I decided to rest.
Tristan Thompson – OOOOOOO M REEEEB! In one of the more preposterous stats over the weekend, had 13 offensive boards off the bench. Now he played 36 minutes, so it’s not like he was Windex out there (cleaning the glass? If you have to explain it, it’s not funny JB!). Meh, maybe worth the speculative add in OREB leagues, but past that, worthless.
Mike Dunleavy – Flirted with a triple double in this same game, for 14/9/8. I’d rather own Thompson, so that’s all you need to know…
Giannis Antetokounmpo – I’m floating the buy low offers. After only 13 minutes on Saturday, I’m sure there’s some panic. With a robust 10-team FA pool, maybe I would move on, but not past that. Still had a 4/3/1/1/1 game in those 13 minutes, and I don’t buy O.J. Mayo at all, hammered home with his 1-7 shooting in this game with 5 fouls in under 20 minutes. Jared Dudley is a milkdud, that’s for sure, but even if he starts there’s minutes for Giannis off the bench and they will come.
Tony Wroten – While the counting stats are great, he’s even a worse ratio killer than Michael Carter-Williams. 19.0/4.7/7.7 is awesome and all through 3, but 4.3 TO and a very high volume 56.7 FT% (5.7-10.0) makes him the Dwight Howard of PG. Probably the best sell high in the game right now.
Brandon Knight – Polar opposite. He is a god amongst Bucks. Awesome high volume FTs, flirts with trip-dubs every night – he’s incredible and if he’s even 75% at this pace ROS, my highest rank of him will be all I talk about with the grandkids one day… Then they’ll be like, “shut the f up grandpa, we’re going hoverboarding!”
John Henson – Showed us a glimpse of what he should be doing, but Jason Kidd is pulling his best Larry Drew impression. 6/7 with 6 swats on Halloween night… It’s spooky how they don’t use him! Womp womp. Kidd looks like a Jack O’ Lantern! Much better… Henson was fairly useless in his other two games – I still think there’s a good shot he ends up having a good year, but tough to keep him rostered even in 12ers for the time being…
Alex Len – From one big I loved being ranked too high, to another that’s looking pretty good! Look at that lonely ranker there… Miles Plumlee got in foul trouble Friday night, giving Len 31 minutes of 10/11/1/0/1 ball shooting 4-6 and no TO. Then back to a smaller role Saturday, but made it count for 4/3/2/0/5 in 18 minutes shooting 2-2, also with no giveaways. He’s probably not quite in the 12er discussion unless you were in a dire need for swattage, but keeping my eye out.
Kawhi Leonard – Returned after missing the opener with Jose Saramago-syndrome, and still couldn’t see the basket shooting 0-5. Hit the FTs though (6-6 = muscle memory) to go 6/8/1. If there’s anyone absurd enough to sell low, I’m all for it.
Rudy Gay – Had as unbelievable a weekend as Bernie. Well, I guess the opposite of that cuz he ain’t dead! 40/8/1/1/0 with three treys Friday then 25/7/6/1/1 last night in a surprise win for the Kings at the Clippers. Helps when DeMarcus Cousins goes 34/17/5/0/3 with an astoundingly efficient 15-23 FG and 4-5 FT. I’d imagine the two hum “anything you can do, I can do better!” back-and-forth, and that’s the key for the 2-1 Kings off wins against Portland and L.A. Why I’m not an NBA coach, the world will never know…
Ramon Sessions – Here’s a call I’m way wrong on! 10, 10, then down to 9 minutes yesterday, of absolutely nothing. Trade chip! Indiana? OKC? Sac has a Ses for ya!
Spencer Hawes – Was dynamite yesterday afternoon for 17/4/1/1/1 and a trey, but was in by far his most minutes (23) as DeAndre Jordan had a little foul trouble. Jordan’s yelling at this article like, “I’m trying to guard Cousins, ya nutcup JB!” I think Hawes is this year’s James Johnson. Which is a pretty rough indictment. Wow, two comps to James Johnson today?! Hawes is better, and his handlebar mustache he’s sporting right now is moustache-ride inducing, but he’s dependent on Jordan racking up the fouls and his numbers will only shine as per-36s…
Ed Davis – No blocks the last two, but is at least 10/6 in all four games this year. Pretty remarkable given foul trouble and inconsistent usage. Averaging 12/6.8/1.3/1/1 on the young season, but the 70% FG percentage shines like a Lil’ Wayne front. FT% shines like Austin Powers’ teeth, but hey, it’s low volume. I’m moderately buying, rather him over Henson, and if you don’t need treys, rather him over Hawes.
Guess the Kobe Bryant line – 21/4/7 on Halloween night. Guys, I really hate to do this, but I WIN!!!!!!!! Guessed 21/2/4; a lot of guesses were right in that neighborhood, but no one else got the points right on, so JB-bias! Even though it wasn’t in contest, 28/6/1/2/0 with 7 TO shooting 12-28 Saturday night. Kinda like your annoying kid brother playing as Kobe in 2K15. We’ll be back with guesses for the Lakers game tomorrow!
Anthony Davis – Through two, he’s averaging 28.5/16.0/1.5/2.5/6.0. Hahahahaha.
Tyreke Evans – Mini-Brow! Well, not really, but proving me wrong that he’s still redonkulous even when Jrue Holiday is starting with him. 22/10/9/2/1 in a triple-double grazer after a 12/9/6 debut. While it’s tough to not believe in, his injury history plus a seemingly high 19 shots on Saturday make him a sell high to me.
The Brandon Jennings vs. D.J. Augustin Quagmire – After outplaying BJ the first two games, DJ sees all sorts of pine for only 18:30 on Saturday night. Meanwhile, BJ gets the run (36:20) in by far his best game of 18/2/9/1/0 shooting 6-14 despite missing all his treys (0-3), and still without a three pointer this year. Ugh, you gotta hold BJ and hey, Mr. DJ, you can keep the music on the wire.
Kentavious Caldwell-Pope – Gotta hold out hope, even though he’s Buffy the Brick Layer out there. 3-10 on Saturday, and now a high-volume, horrific, haunted, holistic, horticultural, Horatio Hornblowing 26.2% from the field thus far. He’s got a good shot though, hold em and don’t Gruffudd em.
Greg Monroe – Looked really spry in his debut, kinda like that feeling you get after finally taking that pee you had to hold after pounding coffee on a long car ride. 18/11/3/1/0 shooting 7-12 (4-5 FT). He’s awesome as a big, but has a leak in his game with the blocks. Oh, the pee puns will be out all year. Fuels Monroe’s fire!
Joe Johnson – What in the…?! 34/8/6 against the Pistons in that game, while Kevin Garnett was a mind-blowing 18/14/0/2/1. It’s like you’re looking at your 2004 fantasy team all over again! Stem cells… The answer is always stem cells…
Isaiah Canaan – Patrick Beverley was outta commission Saturday, so AAA drove the Rockets O for 9/4/2/2/0 shooting a flat 3-11 (3-9 3PTM 0-2 FT). What’d you’d expect from your backup, but PBev got a tune-up Sunday and might leave the garage tonight. Worst themed blurb ever. Cars, groundbreaking!
Kevin Martin – I said in a comment I thought Corey Brewer/Andrew Wiggns as a starting 2/3 was not nearly enough offense so KMart should be starting soon, and he started the next day! Felt smart, and so did Coach Flip as the Wolves almost upset the Bulls behind KMart’s 33/7/2/0/0, four treys, and ridiculously awesome 11-11 FT (plus Ricky Rubio racked up a huge dimebag with 17 AST). Everything you’d want from a KMart! Be sure someone didn’t drop him in your league, as he was cut here and there with the injured DNP in the opener and bench role in game 2.
Thaddeus Young – Had a scary neck injury Saturday night, but thankfully passed a concussion test. If he misses any time, look for KMart to score, I dunno, a bajillion points.
Derrick Favors – Whew-ee! 32/9/1/2/2 shooting 12-22 (8-9 FT) ripping apart the Suns Saturday. Go Razzball favorite!
Enes Kanter – I ranked him too high, GD it! And I hate him! 15:30 getting 4 fouls, and Trevor Booker continues to look like a much better player. T-Book for 14/9/2/2/0 in 24 bench minutes that game, and looks like the better PTS/REB kinda big for the Jazz. A guy to be adding in 16ers or deeper.
Goran Dragic – If you play in any leagues with me and you’re scared, shoot me offers. Buying low to da flo.
Klay Thompson – Put up a 40-burger on the Lakers Saturday, with 41 Pts and 5 treys. Playing great, with the points and treys… Still an uber-ThrAGNOF.
Dwyane Wade – 19/11/7 yesterday. Those stem cells!
Shane Larkin – 27 minutes starting for the calf-ed up Jose Calderon for 9/2/5/2/0, and is averaging 4.3 AST and 2.7 STL through the first three. Those 2 steals helped win me steals in a league this past week! Great booster in those cats as a low-owned streamer until Jose CanPlay.
Lance Stephenson – 14/9/8 in that same game against the Knicks, and seems to be a tripdub flirt every night. Yes, uber-sexy, but shooting under 30%, hasn’t hit a 3 yet, and averaging 3 TO a game. Might be a little sell-highish.
#OccupyDraymondGreen – While you should still occupy, maybe have a temporary housing arrangement like a teepee. Did nearly have a rainbow last night (5/6/2/2/1) in 27 starting minutes, but shot 2-7, no treys, and 1-3 FT. At least only 1 TO though, that’s been a bugaboo! Three starts, and not the #ODG we had hoped… And David Lee should be back soon with a healed hammy. Blah!
Rockets Centers – Dwight Howard and backup Tarik Black didn’t practice yesterday. Why did this team waive Jeff Adrien again? Moronic.
P.J. Tucker – I’m not the biggest fan, but will return this week. I think it makes Marcus Morris a drop more than anything else, but 14 teams or deeper might want to be sure P.J. is owned.
I hope everyone had a huge week 1, and get pumped for the first full week of action for the 2014-15 season!
