Ugh…
So any readers out there grow up in that emo scene or get into any of that stuff at the turn of the century? I was all about the band Thursday’s CD Full Collapse, and man, listening back to it now is ridiculous! Even in high school I could make fun of the music that was going on then, talking about how emo bands had a crier. But Paris in Flames legit sounds like there’s some dude in the corner cry-yelling! Hey, it beats the Slipnkot dude who’s one job is to bang the trashcan lid…
Where to start with the cryfest? I think we gotta go with Russell Westbrook, and well, hold a seance for all Thunder fans right now. Sustained a fracture in his hand last night, and will likely miss about a month. We’ll know more by later today, but I think OKC should change their uniforms to the Bubble Boy outfits. Look where that movie took Jake Gyllenhaall! Kinda hard not to think about picking up Sebastian Telfair, but he’s still behind the Donald Sloan-types. Shooting up with some medium-term value is Reggie Jackson if his ankle heals up. I’d look to see if he was dropped in your league, as now he’s a dynamite hold until healthy, as long as it’s not another month for him as well… We still don’t really have a clear picture, so I think Telfair can make a couple starts.
Then the other biggie… My Panthers… I was actually at the game, and man, the amount of angst and frustration in the stands really could’ve been an emo wah-party. Pop quiz, who had more TOs – Cam or the main Cav?! Well, it was the main Cav, but we’ll start there and then get into everything else that went down last night in fantasy hoops:
LeBron James – 8 turnovers as the Cavs lost to a team that had about the worst opening night in the NBA. The Knicks were destroyed by the Bulls Wednesday, but hey, give NY some cred, they had to play back-to-back against the two East favorites and won one of them. BronBron was unlikely to fall on any of my teams given my Kevin Durant persistence and Anthony Davis love, but even a horrible 5-15 shooting night with only 17 points in 43 minutes, there’s really no change to his value. I did hear on the radio it was the first time in his career he had 8 TO with under 20 points or 5 assists… Antsy in his pantsy!
Kyrie Irving – Uncle Drew played pretty well, but 43 minutes too?! Blatt is running his guys into the ground! 22/5/7/2/1 in a near rainbow. Even though assists per-36 aren’t great, good to see him rack up 7 even when LeBron is launching labradoodles out there.
Kevin Love – Solid. 19/14/4/0/0 with three treys. Kindasorta vintage Love… But sorta not – I don’t expect Anderson Varejao and LeBron to grab only 9 boards in 70 combined minutes very often…
Dion Waiters – 10/1/2 with 3 TO in 38 minutes. Why I was anti-Waiters like Mr. Pink. “What you mean you don’t tip?!”
Carmelo Anthony – Two rebounds?! TWO?! A big knock for Melo for me was I didn’t believe his career high 8.1 boards from last year, and through 2 he’s at 3.0 a game. Triangle offense means rebounds disappear like the Bermuda Triangle!
Samuel Dalembert – The Bench Sensation! Yeah, it doesn’t rhyme, but it’s topical! Played only 5 and a half minutes last night. Yeah… I’ll admit it… I streamed him in a league hoping to boost blocks… Sigh…
Quincy Acy – Reggie Evans 2.0! 8/10 as the starting PF in 22 minutes whilst fouling out. Wait, how did the Knicks win this game?!?!?!
Jose Calderon – So from probable last night for the opener, to out 2-3 weeks with a tender calf. Mi tacos son tender calf! He’s a pretty hairy dude though, I dunno if I would ever eat tacos from a Calderon’s Food Truck. I’m holding in virtually all leagues, the Knicks really need him.
John Wall – Awesome bounce back. 30/5/12 with aggression, knocking down 8-9 FT and hitting two treys. His brother, John Wick, told Wall to tell reporters, “Yeah, I’m thinkin’ I’m back!”
Otto Porter – Nice to see the steals (3), but not good to see the fouls (5) in low minutes (18). I think in even in deeper leagues (say, 16er) Porter is a drop (95% confidence).
Nene – If he wasn’t so injury-prone, would be so underrated. Nothing jumps out, but 12/4/5/3/0 with no TO in his return form a one game suspension. 2-4 FT is really his only knock when healthy. I bet Nene is out there in way too many leagues.
Nikola Vucevic – 23/12/3/1/0 and as soon as I said after his 4-block debut if he could get to 2 BPG he’d be a beast, he doesn’t register a single swat. Well, the average is right at 2.0 now!
Ben Gordon – After looking atrocious on Tuesday, a very empty/ThrAGNOFfy 22 points with 2 treys last night. Don’t trust this Gordon’s fisherman…
Elfird Payton – Yeah, this is more of the bumpy ride we should expect. 2/3/7 with 6 TOs and 2-4 FT. But this was against John Wall who is a great defender, so I’m still in buy low mode to get Elfrid on my Shelfrid. Tis about that season!
Kyle O’Quinn – Sat out with a bum ankle. I mean, he’s Irish, give the man some Jameson and let him out there!
KCP – Whoa, minutes alert! 41:29 last night?! Man, crazysauce. 11/6/2/2/0 with a trey isn’t going ruffle your tailfeather, but just the one TO and he’s a steals guy. Those minutes though… Sucks he missed both FT shots, but it’s time to really start trying to get KCP as a throw in on a group deal.
Brandon Jennings – Even though this was an emo day, still a ridiculous start of the year for my calls. Look at Mr. By-Far-The-Lowest right there in the red! Shocked I was the only expert to have him out of the top 100. I saw this coming with low playing time with D.J. Augustin cutting into PT more than people would expect… But I can’t lie, didn’t think it would be to this extent this early! In the battle for the better abbreviated PG, BJ for 4/2/6 in 15:30 minutes and DJ for 20/3/6 in 32:30. Using my abacus, I can deduce that’s a total of 48 minutes split only between those two. So the odds are forever not in BJ’s favor (same for Peeta, I mean, dude got stabbed, give him some lovin’ J-Law!).
Caron Butler – 24 points off the bench. Remember when Butler put up 38 in a game last year? I bet 98% of you don’t, which is all you need to know.
Josh Smith – Well with Butler hot, Smoove was rough. 5-16 FG, AND STILL SHOOTING MOTHER F THREES! HOW IS THIS ALLOWED TO HAPPEN! Sorry, All Caps police, it felt warranted. 0-2 from downtown, now 0-5 on the year. 10/7/4/0/2 with 3 TO is fine, but I was hoping for a big game here as he would become the ultimate sell-high with Greg Monroe back for the next Pistons game.
Gorgui Dieng – Eh, nothing too saucy but 4/5 with two blocks in only 17 minutes. And the Wolves played Nikola Pekovic 31 minutes, those LIARS! Caps lock got hit by mistake that time, I swear… Pek for 17/10/0/0/0 with 3 TO. I dunno, I’m taking Gorgui’s blocks…
Kevin Martin – Returned, but off the bench… Flip Saunders said he was healthy, but I dunno, I think he’s going to be eased in from his preseason injuries and up those minutes from the 20 we saw last night. Still holding as Andrew Wiggins and Corey Brewer didn’t do much as starters.
Chandler Parsons – Bounced back a little for 21/7/2. Pretty boy matchup of the year with him vs. Gordon Hayward… Well, maybe against Kyle Korver too. Get these three guys together to start a boy band already!
Jameer Nelson – I know, I know, I know… Only 21 minutes as the starter for 5/1/5 hitting a trey. Sucks to see J.J. Barea already getting 19 minutes, but unsurprisingly the Mavs blew out the Jazz, so this felt sorta like an extended preseason game. I’m giving Nelson a little more leash, but it’s certainly shorter than it was preseason.
Al-Farouq Aminu – Same extended preseason thing. No starter played over 30 minutes for Dallas. 16/10/1/1/0 shooting 6-7 in only 19:30. Nah, not buying it.
J.J. Redick – Ewwww, smelled it up like Pepe Le Pew. 5/0/0/0/0 on an atrocious 1-10 shooting. Duke players starting cold this year! Luol Deng, Mason Plumlee… I don’t think there’s any other Duke players in the NBA… Shavlik Randolph! I keed of course… Let’s get Brian Zoubek a tryout for the Sixers! Hahaha, I have to copy and paste this from Zoubek’s Wikipeida: “After working with a technology start-up for year, Zoubek decided to follow his own dreams and open his own bakery, named Dream Puffz, which specializes in cream puffs. Dream Puffz opened in Haddonfield, New Jersey on July 30, 2012. However, Zoubek shut down Dream Puffz on February 16, 2013 to pursue real estate opportunities. Zoubek said he is in negotiations to sell the rights to the Dream Puffz name.” Wow, that Duke education sure paid off! Sounds like he got about the same education as a Chapel Hill athlete.
Spencer Hawes – Meh. Don’t like seeing only 19 minutes. 4/4/1/0/1 and missed all three deep shots. The Thunder let DeAndre Jordan play 35 minutes and didn’t make him attempt a single FT… Still going to hold onto Hawes in most leagues.
Perry Jones – Way to bury the big game from last night! Well, I wanted to bookend all things Thunder. 32/7/3/0/1 taking over a big offensive role after Westbrook broke his hand. Shot 10-17, played 42 minutes, yeah I think he’s worth an add for the short-term. But as I mentioned in the open, don’t forget about RJax and Jeremy Lamb is still looming if he can get his back worked out.
Guess the Kobe Bryant Stat Line – Battle for Los Angeles tonight! I think I’m going conservative. 21/2/4. Get your guesses in below, and we’ll crown the winner on Monday!
Have a great weekend everyone, be sure to try and stream to pad those stats Saturday and Sunday, and I’ll see you next Monday morning!
