LOGIN

Toney Douglas dropped 17 points the day after he dropped 28 and I suggested you probably ought not pick him up. Do I still say you shouldn’t pick him up despite dropping three 3-pointers as part of that 17? No. Why? Firstly, because his next two games come against the Nets and Pacers. Secondly, because Chauncey Billups might miss some time after bumping into Elton Brand. Thirdly, because Landry Fields has devolved into Thabo Sefolosha. And fourthly, because “fourthly” sounds like the name of an uppity rich person’s cat.

Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy basketball.

Chauncey Billups – As mentioned 1/3 of an inch above, Chauncy Billups’ thigh contused upon impact with Philly’s Brand. Oh, is this news to you? You’re just skimming blurbs to see if your name is mentioned, aren’t you. You’re so vain. Anyway, if you have a safer option to plug in the next couple games, might as well do so. Billups was 1-for-7 before leaving so it’s not as if he was doing your team a ton of favors lately. He’s off one night, on the next, contused in a third.

Jodie Meeks – Went 2-for-11 from the field, including 0-for-8 from downtown. Threejerk! On one hand, this was just the third time in 20 games Meeks didn’t sink at least two threes. On the other hand, two of those games have come in his last four. On a foot that is ambidextrous enough to be used as a third hand, I can change the channel using the remote control!

Paul George – Dropped a career-high 23 points (including five threes) against a potentially entertaining Wizards team. Notice I said potentially entertaining, meaning they are not entertaining now, but could be at some point in the future. Notice how I didn’t say, “potentially good defensive Wizards team.”

Maurice Evans – Shot 0-for-5 in a little over 23 minutes. This is a bummer, for sure, but Othyus Jeffers also played 33 minutes. Neither of those two things are likely to happen again in the next week. If you were using Evans before, keep using him.

Jerryd Bayless – Returned to the bench so that Jose Calderon could go 0-for-7 from the field in 28 minutes. Mighty nice of ya, Jerry. Think nothing of it, I still scored 28. Oh. Well, then … everyone wins!

Reggie Evans – 15/13 as the Raptors are beat up and playing for nothing from here on out (back date that statement to November). Bargnani is bruised, Amir Johnson is bruised, Calderon is bruised; along with DeRozan and Bayless, Evans is one of the more reliable players on this team. Let me say that one more time  because I surprised even myself the first time: Evans is one of Toronto’s most reliable players and has been all season (when healthy).

Ed Davis – 2/5/1 in 35 minutes. As I mentioned yesterday, I’m really hoping the guy drafting right before me accidentally mixes up the Eastern Conference rookie bigs Davis and Greg Monroe next season. Preferably right before my seventh pick.

Dante Cunningham – Ended with 16/10, his second double-double in as many nights. Call it the “Doubled Double-Dubingham.”

Jason Richardson – Night off. Not to be confused with off night, which has become most other nights Richardson plays lately. Arenas dropped six threes in place of Richardson, which won’t likely happen again this season because 1) Richardson should return for Orlando’s next game and 2) because it’s Gilbert Arenas.

Jordan Farmar – Started, double-doubled (18/11) and looks to be taking over from here on out as D-Will d-won’t likely return in the next week.

Anthony Morrow – Knee tendinitis. He may play against the Knicks on Friday, may not. I’d lean toward not.

Brook Lopez – Dropped 30 points Tuesday, then 39 points last night. Going nuts in April after being 30+ games below .500 is liable to go as unnoticed as running GoDaddy commercials on the Oprah Winfrey Network.

Rodney Stuckey – Returned after a two-game benching to end with  a 22/5/10 line. You may now go back to ignoring Will Bynum … and Rodney Stuckey.

Channing Frye – Zero points in 27 minutes. Nothing. Zip. Four shots. This is the second time in seven games he’s played more than 27 minutes and failed to score. Over those seven games he’s shooting .369 from the floor. Unless you’re desperate for blocks, Frye seems to have left the building.

Darko Milicic – Time to play “Hurt or In Foul Trouble”. Milicic ended with a 2/2/1 line that included a block in 10 minutes. So, what he hurt or in foul trouble? The answer: it doesn’t matter, start someone else in the next seven days.

Jason Kidd – Resting due to oldness. Not the best night for old PGs (Kidd, Nash, Billups), but an even worse night for Rodrigue Beaubois, who had his best opportunity to show what he can do last night and pooped out a 6/1/1 line. Boobois.

Brendan Haywood – 1/19/2, with five blocks. He missed the only shot he took, but you’ll ignore that if he keeps getting 19 boards and five blocks. Unfortunately, before last night Haywood had only grabbed 11 rebounds once this season (November 12) and hadn’t blocked more than two shots in three weeks. Oh, and Tyson Chandler is likely to return Friday.

Carl Landry – I finally sacked up and started Landry and he made sure my sack hurt at the end of his performance, shooting 2-for-10 from the field. Carl was hot, so I put him in my lineup and he gave me a Hot Carl. Serves me right, I guess.

Aaron Gray – Anyone else disturbed by the 14 minutes per game Gray has averaged in the last seven games? It’s not just me, is it? I mean, that seems like way too much.

Dwyane Wade – Sat out with a thigh injury. He probably figured ‘Bron and Bosh could handle … Salmons? Bogut? Who the hell is the leader of the Bucks? Doesn’t matter. They won, thus establishing who the leader of the Heat is.

Serge Ibaka – He’s had 2+ blocks in each of his last nine games. He was a bit overvalued at the start of the season, but probably won’t be overvalued at the start of the next one. For what it’s worth, his streak of assistless games extends one game longer.

Dorell Wright – Entering last night’s game, everybody’s frontrunner for Most Improved Player, Dorell Wright was shooting 16-for-57 (.281) in his last four. After last night’s game, that percentage got worse (.271 now after a 3-for-13 night). Dorell Wright apparently is not Dorell Wright’s frontrunner for Most Improved Player. Unless you’re going three-heavy for the rest of the week, I’d leave Wright on the bench.

David Lee – After dropping 29/20 two games ago, he went 22/17. He’s double-doubled in four of the last six. Turns out, Lee was saving his energy this season for the playoffs. I don’t have the heart to tell him.

Tiago Splitter – Girlfriend, “That guy (Splitter) and Kyle Korver need to kiss. A real smushy kiss.” Me, sitting on the coach stunned that she would say that – especially because the Spurs were playing the Kings, not the Bulls. Girlfriend, “I’m just saying, they have faces that seem to warrant contact with other faces like theirs.” Me, still kinda stunned, but not altogether in disagreement. Anyway, Splitter ended with 4/2/0, with a steal. Smush on that!