And we’re here! Finally wrapping up the top 100 after a week filled with triumphs, successful trades going through, and possibly the biggest news of the offseason – Jared Dudley getting moved. I couldn’t finish the top 100 without knowing where Dudley would be! The ramifications would be catastrophic! So past 75 you’re starting to scrape the bottom of the barrel. The dregs of the cask. Which means it’s sleeper land! Bring out the sleeper patrol! And a lot of times if you hit on just one of these and avoid injuries in your early rounds, you’re set for a playoff run. Here’s my top 100 for the 2014-15 Fantasy Basketball Season (based on 9-cat H2H):Please, blog, may I have some more?
We’re here! We’ve got ranks! 2014-15 is quickly approaching, and we’re jumping the gun on ranks, projections, anticipating trades… Seriously, one of the biggest trades of the decade is all predicated on a handshake agreement. “My fingers were crossed Saunders, hah!” It’s the proverbial dogs playing poker, except the game is the fantasy basketball landscape and the GMs look even uglier than the deformed pug. “Heel David Griffin, heel!” Then to top off that soap opera, we have a first rounder from last year (but not in my ranks!) out for the year with a horrific injury in Team USA play. For all the Paul George banter we had last year, Razzball Nation wishes him a speedy recovery. Back to happy thoughts! Anyone see that one of my boyfriends last year, Archie Goodwin, was drunk and resisting arrest at a skating rink?! He was gonna make my top 10 too! What a comical situation… He should have his own Archie Comics! Oh wait… Well despite the innumerable implications of Tony Hawk’s arrest, let’s start ranking! And as we go through the top 200 in long form, we’ll be updating our master ranks/easy-to-use post linked up there in the rankings menu. Razzball is so easy! One crown & coke and I’m out of my Knickerbockers faster than John Starks at a flat top convention! Here’s my top 10 for the 2014-15 Fantasy Basketball Season (based on 9-cat H2H):Please, blog, may I have some more?
I shouldn’t have waited. I should have stepped up and said, “Yes JB, I’ve waited 30-some-odd years of my life to get on an airplane because I’m afraid that there really could be a gray furry monster who destroys it while we’re 30 thousand feet in the air”. Looking back I fear perhaps I may not have been too logical in my thinking and now I have to carry that regret with me for the rest of my life. Like when I didn’t go to Mexico with JB for spring break. Even though I never really heard any stories because he claimed he ‘couldn’t remember anything’, he came back with obvious aversions to Tequila, guacamole, the word ‘labradoodle‘, and giant black dildos. Don’t ask how I know, I wish I didn’t. Or when he did that semester abroad. He told me about going hostel to hostel, meeting new people and learning new things everyday. If I would have gone with him then I probably would have learned why he gets so strange whenever he hears someone speaking Dutch. He gets this big smile on his face and his eyes gloss over like he’s catatonic. If you want to break him out all you have to do is say ‘labradoodle’ and you can tell from the look on his face that whatever day dream he was having immediately turned into a nightmare.
I assume by now you’ve read the title and are asking yourself, ‘Self, why am I reading about Paul George for fantasy?’ Pretty simple really… because I wrote it before his injury. Doh! I shouldn’t have waited but I wanted to make sure Melo was going back to New York and then I had to wait on Lance to sign and then… So what do I do with it? Throw it away? Well it’s just a bunch of 0′s and 1′s in a computer somewhere and I don’t know where so that wasn’t an option. I figure I’ll post it, face the furry monster, and catch the next flight anywhere. So here it is, Paul George v Carmelo Anthony unaltered and I hereby challenge you to find a more pointless post for fantasy basketball the rest of the year:Please, blog, may I have some more?
In general I think it’s a good idea to say, “Spoiler Alert: Plot Climax”, but I don’t need to do that when talking about the new Godzilla movie because I haven’t seen it. It’s not the plot I take offense to anyway, I’m disappointed in the choice of lead monster. With today’s CGI the giant, furry, and oh so cute Mothra could still wreck havoc on the city but unlike Godzilla he would also sell millions of soft, fuzzy pillows to little boys and girls everywhere. I’ve already mailed my script to Disney so don’t go trying to steal my ideas. And what about King Ghidorah, the three-headed dragon monstrosity? If I had to put down a few bucks between him and Godzilla then I’m taking King Ghidorah. Sure Godzilla has his strengths with the loud roar and all but he doesn’t fly. So while Godzilla is flailing his little T-Rex arms and squawking like a pissed off parrot, the King can leisurely glide around and deliver deadly destruction whenever he so pleases.
Godzilla is a tried and true brand so he makes the most sense but I don’t think that makes him the right choice. In a Russell Westbrook vs John Wall debate you would probably assume Westbrook makes the most sense too – but I’m not so sure. Actually I am sure, if you remember last time out I told you I was going into these comparisons with a predetermined winner. So before we get started I’m going to go ahead and put a few bucks down on John Wall. It would be a much easier debate if he could fly, but either way he’s still going to be a summer, I mean winter blockbuster.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Razzball Hoops Nation! Wow, typing 2014-15 already just feels weird… I’m not ready to quit you 2013-14! Although, the disappointing image of the face of the Luminescent Lithuanian makes it easy. We’re done, ya ho! I’m just not that into you…
As I do every season during the NBA Playoffs, I think it’s a fun way to kick off the year with some way too early rankings through the top 50. “Wait a minute, isn’t there free agency and a draft, moron!?” Shut it, noob commenter! There will obviously be numerous changes to these early ranks, possibly even some rookies trickling into the bottom end of the top 50, and all sorts of free agency moves to make this a really fun offseason. Here’s my way too early Top 20 for the 2014-15 Fantasy Basketball Season (spoiler alert: no Jonas Valanciunas):Please, blog, may I have some more?
More rankings, more “hindsight is 20-20″-ing! Damn man, seeing LaMarcus Aldridge carve up the Rockets after his huge season is bumming me out – even before I hop into reviewing 21-50! Get the red marker ready Slim! Get that F ready!
Just like we reviewed in the Top 20, rankings are based on my final updated top 200, comparing them to the FantasyPros aggregate Draft Day Rankings along with Basketball Monster’s Total Value for 9-cat leagues on the season. Slim busts out his grading pens and reviews for grammatical correctness and how stringently I followed the assignment. “What if I stay after class for tutoring!?” This dialogue and mental image is starting to sound like a low-rent porno. It’s not like that! Here’s a look back at the Top 50 for the 2013-14 Fantasy Basketball Season:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Razzball Hoops Nation! It’s officially the offseason! Well for fantasy… And for the Knicks and the Lakers. And the Pacers! Haha, sorry matt, just joshin’…
And what better way to look back on the 2013-14 season than to reflect on the rankings. Those who don’t learn from the past are doomed to repeat it! Dammit, that means I can’t ever rank Ricky Rubio highly again even though I know I’ll want to!
So I reflected back on my ranks, and patted myself on the back or immolated myself on what I was thinking so long ago. Rankings are based on my final updated top 200 and eesh! Looking back on these some are rough! I then compared them to the FantasyPros aggregate Draft Day Rankings along with Basketball Monster’s Total Value for 9-cat leagues for the season. I had Slim come in and grade each of my picks, and man, he’s a harsh grader! And unfortunately he doesn’t take too kindly to giant pasty men flashing their teetans at him either, so I got no extra help. Here’s a look back at the Top 20 for the 2013-14 Fantasy Basketball Season:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Brewers baby! Best record in baseball. 9 in a row. Oh yea, this is basketball, but man! My Brewers are unstoppable! And it carried over to the hardwood, when Corey Brewer had maybe the most preposterous, out-of-nowhere game all year. I actually did highlights for the Wolves Rockets game Friday night, and it was like watching a pickup game where one guy was just light years better than everyone else. Slice-n-dice, no need to take shots. In the first quarter, I leaned over to a co-worker and said Brewer is having the game of his life. Made me look smart! Going in with a career-high of 29, Brewer dropped 51 on like, a trillion layups and pick 6s. 51/2/1/6/0, and just how everyone learned from Oliver, “you’ve got to pick a pocket or two!” Or six. And probably 5 of them led to uncontested layups, but he did have some pretty sick and-ones for good measure. Deeper leaguers that had Brewer probably thought stat tracker was broken Friday night. I’ve always been a Brewer fan, it was sad to have to trade him to Slim, but when Kevin Martin and Kevin Love returned, it was cool down time for the NBA’s Brew Crew on Sunday, going for only 10 and two steals. Regardless, I love that Brewer now gets to share a milestone with Michael Jordan, Allen Iverson and Rick Barry as the only guys to go 50+ with 6+ steals. One of these is not like the other! Good for Brewer, and if the Wolves indeed deal Love and/or let K-Mart walk, Brewer could be pretty interesting next year. Here’s what else I saw over the weekend in fantasy basketball action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
“Whoa JB, two straight titles with ‘Triple Double’ in em. You get an F for creativity, ya wank!” Well, I have an F for you troll commenter! Hard not to talk about trip dubs, especially when you have only two games and with under ten seconds left the dude hurts himself again. Monster line from Blake Griffin in the loss to the Mavs, putting up 25/10/11/1/1 on 9-23 shooting, with 7-7 FT. After missing a game with back spasms, Blake was able to suit up and was no worse for the wear. For 47:51 that is. Well, except maybe getting posterized by Brandan Wright. Bias alert! TNT didn’t show A SINGLE replay of that dunk. Say whaaaa?! Anyway, with under 10 seconds left, Blake took an inbounds pass and rolled his ankle on the court with no contact. They were down six anyway! Reminds me of Rob Gronkowski on the special teams and breaking his arm on a PAT up like 30 points. Eh, maybe not the best comparison, but the game was over! He said his back is ok and his ankle is fine, he’s just clumsy. “Clumsy Clara!” We’ll get more updates throughout the day, but if he has some swelling in that ankle or his back is still jacked when he gets up this morning, we might get a DNP. Which spells terror for title bids coming into the final weekend for standard leagues. Spells apocalypse. Which ironically I found hard to spell for the longest while… The horror. The horror… Here’s what else I saw last night in NBA action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Last night might have been an utter low for the New York Knickerbockers. Haha, yup they get a full name scolding like your mom used to do. Got shellacked by the Lakers by 31, in another horrific TNT Overtime fail. It’s funny that the Lakers were involved in another redonkulous blowout this month: One because the first was also on TNT OT when the Clippers beat them by, I dunno a million (?), and second because I had the following remarks on Xavier Henry, whom I call Wheels, three-ish week ago after that Clips blowout: “I dunno, I just have a weird feeling he is going to be fantasy-relevant even in shallower leagues in a few weeks because D’Antoni likes him. And why not give him minutes again on this team?” And that’s me quoting me! It’s been a little up-and-down, and Wheels is a bit of a ThrANOF, but 8-11 (3-4 3PTM 3-5 FT) 22/3/0/2/1 last night. Only 23 minutes (and oddly enough 23:20 exactly in the past two games), but mid-20 minutes seems about right the rest of the way. He can easily score mid-teens, get a couple swipes, and nab a trey for you. Jodie Meeks-lite, if you will. I think even in 12-teamers he’s worth a look right now for the remainder of the week with three games left on the slate that all are pretty saucy (@MIL, @MIN, PHX). And another 4-gamer next week with good matchups. I just picked him up myself as I hope to slip by the Slippery Squirrels in my RCL playoffs. Need more points and only up one in steals. Go JB HUMAN! Here’s what else I saw last night in NBA action:Please, blog, may I have some more?