Yeah. It goes like this right here. It’s the return of the writings of Slim! That reminds of an Outkast song, and that song reminds me of 1998. If you don’t remember it was the year we learned there was yet another way to be disgusted by a cigar. That near, far, wherever you are you probably found yourself at some point rooting for the most unlikeliest of protagonists, Billy Zane. And of course it was the year the ‘Blue Screen of Death‘ truly became a meme, long before anyone knew what a meme was.

Gangstaaaaa… It’s the return… turn…

In the NBA draft that year there were 3 guys drafted that are still playing and should one day be in the Hall of Fame. I’ll give you a hint, the top 3 draft picks were Michael Olowokandi, Mike Bibby, and Raef LaFrentz, and if you were playing fantasy basketball back then you might have gone all-in on one of them. Give up? They are Vince Carter, Dirk Nowitzki, and Paul Pierce. Pick number 5, 9, and 10 respectively. That’s not to say great players aren’t drafted 1st, but the only thing guaranteed when you are first overall is a whole boat load of money. Something about the use of the word ‘only’ there doesn’t quite feel right.

Return… Ganstuhuhuh… It’s the re…

It seems so easy to see when you’re talking time traveling, something mind unraveling. Get Down. It’s a whole lot harder to do here and now using some funky combination of math, logic, illogical fandom, a random number generator, and of course the occasional dart throw. For some reason though, after about an hour on 350 (or about 176c) it develops a creamy caramel colored crust. Once it cools, just cut it up and consume. So here’s you’re 1st taste. Slim’s, I can’t believe I’m writing this in 3rd person, RCL playoff schedule post.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Jump Ball A Matty Series PNG

Piggy-backing off of Slim’s (in?)famous “Slim vs. Slim” series of years past, I’m going to be writing a number of articles pitting two players with similar ADPs against one another. The format will be slightly different, but the goal remains the same – provide fantasy owners some food for thought to better inform their decision if faced with these two players come draft day. It’s not a groundbreaking idea across the fantasy sports spectrum, but I’ve always found it to be a good way to help avoid a coin toss scenario once the clock starts ticking. So in lieu of a long-winded introduction, let’s just get down to brass tacks, shall we?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You aren’t going to find too many elite fantasy basketball assets sitting on an NBA bench. You’re going to find them on a 50’ wide by 94’ long stretch of hardwood, running their shoes tread-bare.

Fantasy production or “numbers” – essentially the only thing you’re mining for as you prepare for your drafts – is what results from the beautiful union between talent and opportunity.

Talent with limited opportunity (think: Jonas Valanciunas) leaves you with little choice but to sit back and wonder what could have been. Conversely, all the opportunity in the world afforded to players short on talent (I’m looking at you, Courtney Lee) has you questioning why you’re tending to vines that bear no fruit.

Unfortunately, in the world of the National Basketball Association, opportunity is usually held to a finite number each night – and that number is 240. Two hundred and forty minutes is all a given team can distribute amongst its roster during a regulation game. (For our purposes here today we’ll refrain from delving into the impact of overtime/multi-overtime games adding to the pool of minutes, though it does obviously impact the calculus.)

With NBA coaches now regularly employing rotations of nine and 10 men, there are very few players (regardless of talent, youth and good health) who are asked to play more than 75% of a game. In point of fact, during the 2014/2015 NBA season a grand total of six players averaged over 36 minutes of court time. Go just one year farther back and that number jumps to 16. The 12-13 campaign? 22 such players eclipsed the 36 MPG mark and seven ran for over 38 minutes a night. And to really put things into perspective – less than a decade ago we saw nine players average 40 minutes, with the kicker being that none of them missed more than 10 games.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

rcl-basketball-logoThe NBA fantasy draft season is upon us! With plenty of terrible early projections going on, early drafts are always fun.  This is basically going to be a recap of my first RCL draft of the season, with a little of bit of sleeper info thrown in for good measure.  I really love the team I got in this league, even though I was sniped on a few picks.  Just FYI I’ll be setting up another RCL league in about a week or so – to draft in October – so I hope some more of you guys join me!  By then Yahoo’s rankings should be much closer to the ballpark of reason… At any rate, let’s dive in!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Woooo, here we go Razzball Nation!

The 2015-16 Fantasy Basketball Season is nearly upon us, well, kindasorta, in the same way that I “kindasorta” liked Michael Carter-Williams last year!  OK, that might be 100% false, DON’T LOOK AT LAST YEAR’S FINAL PRE-RANKS!  Dammit, who linked that?!  MCW’s agent hacked Razzball…

So here’s to hoping I can avoid the pitfalls of last year, avoid the bone density issues, avoid good players moving to Cleveland, and avoid falling for adorable Latin Lovers!  You just can’t help from having your balls near his face!  Why couldn’t you have avoided getting a kankle, whyyyyy?!

As we did last season, we’ll have a master rankings post (which I… I mean, aherm, MCW’s agent will link when it’s live) which will be updated all through the preseason, along with Slim’s 9-cat and MPG projections.  Let’s get this shizz started!  Here’s the Top 10 for the 2015-16 Fantasy Basketball Season.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The draft is here!  I’m so excited that I pushed through a hectic day to have a live post throughout the night, something I told Slim I probably wouldn’t be able to get to.  He’s all like, “5,000 ranty words on Interstellar, and you can’t do a live draft post?!”  And I’m like, “MUUURRRPPPHHHHH!!!!!”

Let me start with this question to loyal Razzball Nation readers – is the NBA draft the best of the professional sports drafts?  My vote is hell yea!  Better trades, it flows faster, rooks impact right away…  Ugh, I wish the MLB draft got a little more interesting at the top.  And the NFL draft, well, 2/3 of the players who get picked don’t impact fantasy so I care a lot less…

So here we go folks!  I’ll be updating the post live with every pick – so constantly hit dat refresh – along with some immediate fantasy thoughts and a gut-call grade as we go.  Here’s how the 2015 NBA Draft went down (which you can compare to Slim and I’s mock draft early this month):

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge Christopher Nolan fan.  I remember in early middle school, Memento blew me away; a year or two later I made my mom take me to see Insomnia and she probably thought I was nuts…  And again I was blown away by tour-de-force acting and a great character study.

Then of course came all the Batmans which were great, even though the third one had, well, a few issues that the Honest Trailer people figured out.  And I even really liked Inception even though it also had some problems.

And then we get Interstellar.  Nolan doing sci-fi.  Check.  About space.  Check.  About the future.  Check.  And man was I mad!  It’s like no one read the script except Nolan, who is apparently going nuts!  Really the only thing about the movie that isn’t flawed is the amazing score by Hans Zimmer, who is the man.  It’s also shot really well…

So I decided to go back and watch Interstellar and find 50 plot holes (sure, some may be more “issues” than “plot holes”) and connect them using metaphors – like how the movie uses the metaphor for human love to explain everything – to fantasy basketball.  The plot holes that really grinded my gears are in italics.

FULL DISCLOSURE!  I’m not going to watch the Honest Trailer for Interstellar until I’m done!

If this isn’t your viewing companion next time you watch Interstellar, then I don’t know what is… Here we go:

(note – if I really need to say “spoiler alert” for a post like this if you haven’t seen it, then that might be your issue…)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Who’s ready for the 2015-16 Fantasy Basketball season?!  Pssshhh, who cares about the playoffs?!  Not like anything good or interesting has happened…

So it’s time to start gearing up for 2015-16!  Man am I pumped…  Mostly because I know Michael Carter-Williams won’t burn me.  In my never again pile!  MCW is like that sexy crazy chick that you know you’ll regret hooking up with again…  Sexy assets, but makes you wanna blow your brains out!  Kinda a shocker MCW isn’t a redhead, as all firecrotches are nuts.  Sorry Scottish readers, but it’s true!  Even on Game of Thrones the tall Stark one had to dye her hair…

As tradition, we’ll be ranking the Top 50 in our Way Too Early Rankings to get an idea of where we stand heading into the upcoming season.  We’ve got a lot of great stuff planned through the Summer with Draft analysis, Team Previews, and a whole hell-of-a-lot of rankings extravaganzas.  Here’s the Way Too Early Top 10 for the 2015-16 Fantasy Basketball Season:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The 2014-15 Fantasy Basketball season is officially in the books!  But we won’t be slowing down too much, with a lot of great off-season content planned and my Way Too Early Ranks for 2015-16 coming in a few weeks…

In 14-15 we had ups (#OccupyDraymondGreen baby!), we’ve had downs (cough, MCW, cough), but what matters most is we had fun I finished better than Slim in the REL league!

And one of the highest of highs from last night was James Harden‘s triple double, going 16/11/10/1/1 in only 27 minutes against the Jazz.  Only took 8 shots!  That’s what Mel Gibson tried to tell the police anyway…  3-8 FG, 2-5 3PTM, and more of that oh-so-sweet FT volume hitting 8-8 freebies.  Assists, rebounds and steals all went up this season, along with the obvious scoring and he was at a career best 8.8-10.2 FT a game entering last night.  The TO are brutal, but he also chipped in a career best 0.7 blocks in an absolutely elite year.  So I can say with pretty good confidence he’ll be my #1 player for the 2015-16 Fantasy Basketball season.  Was durable (81 games this season, 73+ the past 3 years), consistent, and I just love mustache rides.  Take me to the promised land in 15-16, Mr. Beard!  Here’s what else went down on the final night of 2014-15 Fantasy Basketball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Well, there’s a reason standard H2H leagues end 10 days early!  Sheesh it’s just a mine field out there…  Did you ever play that game Minesweeper in the 90s?!  Man that game got annoying…

Anyway, it was a crazy weekend across the NBA highlighted by Jrue Holiday returning from his leg issues over the weekend.  Even in this final month of rest, The Lord needed a Holiday!  It really surprised to see him return this season, but I guess with the Pels in it, he’s persevering.  Jrue was rusty in Friday night’s return (1-7 FG), but caught fire Sunday night for 7-9 FG, 17 Pts and 3 treys.  Since he had to sit last night and had to be abandoned months ago by the unfortunate souls who drafted him, he still might be out there in your league.  In a pivotal final game tomorrow hosting the Spurs, Jrue should get a good bit of run as an offensive sixth man.  He’s a risky play since we don’t know how many minutes he’ll get, but if you need some Pts and Ast as a final stream, he could deliver.  Jrue works for you!  Here’s what else has gone on since the weekend in fantasy hoops action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?