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Twas a star studded evening

And all through the league

Not a player was stirring…

Because it was time to play defense and nobody #%*%#%@ wanted to!

Yeah, I’m looking at you Cavs, Rockets, Warriors, and J.R. Smith.

Anyway…. Outside of that cheesiness, it was a fairly interesting Thursday evening, but many of the games were just irksome.  It’s ironic that the Utah/Miami game deserved to be on TNT over the Cavs and Clippers.  I don’t think anyone would’ve guessed an LA blowout win after that 70 point dud in Indy, but that’s pro sports for ya!  At any rate, let’s get into it!  At this point, I’m not sure if I’ll cover the whole Rockets – Warriors game, but I can already tell you that the winner scored over 120, and it was a race to see who could jack up more 3s.  It’s entertaining, but it isn’t basketball, in my humble opinion.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Sean Kilpatrick went H.A.M. on Tuesday, scoring 38 points (14-34 FG, 4-12 3PT) and grabbing 14 rebounds in the Nets double-overtime, come from behind victory over the Clippers. He turned it on late, scoring 31 of his 38 points in the 4th quarter and overtime. Kilpatrick probably won’t be this good ever again, but he still remains a wise pickup (53% availability).

Trevor Booker and Brook Lopez – The Nets’ big men also enjoyed the extra minutes in double OT as well. Booker had a nice overall line of 15 points, 11 rebounds, 5 assists, and 4 steals, while Lopez posted 27 points, 8 rebounds, 4 assists, 4 threes, and 2 steals. Lopez’ 3-point shooting has really improved this season.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So I had some friends in over the weekend, and they straight up Uncle Bucked me.  I have no idea if I can use that as a verb, and I do mean the movie, they didn’t show up and immediately get cancelled like the recent TV series attempt.  Well, I haven’t really seen either, but I think the point gets across!  They went hard and seemed closer together than my lame, grandpa ass.  Can’t hang like I used to!

In a similar way, when I took over Razzball Hoops, I sometimes felt like the lame black sheep of the family.  Grey over there at baseball was clubbing like that scene from The Social Network, this song was playing, and was talking about how a million page views isn’t cool anymore.  A billion page views is!  Then football had Sky then Jay running a party boat like they were on Lake Minnetonka.  But hoops over here was the ginger outcast, living like Harry Potter under the steps.  Somehow and someway, we went to Hogwarts and became as cool as those other Wizards (although, not the awful 2-7 Washington ones…), and as fantasy hoops grew as the best global fantasy game, Razzball Hoops Nation came along with us for the ride.  Either that, or you keep reading just because you think to yourself, “this clown is such a disgrace, he wears a jersey that says “Smart” and he’s the biggest doofus around!”

Like initiation into the Razzball fraternal order, we have a huge announcement.  Huuuuuuge!  Huge Gina!   Razzball Basketball now has dedicated Player Pages!  Wooooooo, drop the confetti, we’re part of the big boys!  From here on out, you’ll see player names hyperlinked with our own internal player page system that imports several layers of stats: Per game stats, per 36, USG calculations, game logs, season stats, and contract information.  Player pages also link to recent Razzball posts when the player was last mentioned, and coming soon will include next 7 days and DFS projections.  We’re going to be looking into the future!  Slow clap to Rudy for his work putting these together, and working with yours truly to hopefully deliver an awesome new tool that will overtake the player pages you use for your leagues.  And let us know what you think!  If you have additional things you want, things you hate, we want to know!  Razzball Hoops is entirely based on our community and comments, so let us know if you like em!

To mark this triumphant new era for Razzball Hoops, I thought long and hard about who to hyperlink first.  I do have an unhealthy KCP addiction, and slicky Ricky is oh so spicy, but why not go with the hottest guy in 2016, DeMar DeRozan!  Time Magazine‘s sexiest man alive has nothing on DeMar!  And nothing on those sleek player pages either!  33/7/4/2/0 against the Poppycockers, giving him 32+ points in 8 of his first 9 games.  Invasion from Canada!  While he’s obviously more than Wigginsing it, he only has 3 games under 54% from the field, his steals are at a career-high, and he’s likely going to regress a smidge.  I’m certainly not giving him away, but if someone thinks his poutines AND gravy are completely legit, maybe you can get a little more value out of him than he’s worth.  But if he’s carrying your scoring, ride this wave!  Here’s what else went down in fantasy hoops action, now with players linked to their Razzball pages!  Woooooo!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s been over 24 hours now.  The sun rose.  The sun set.  People played basketball.

Regardless of how you felt through Tuesday night, I think pretty much everyone can agree it was morally exhausting.  My wife actually wanted to watch the SNL Election Special last night that we DVRed, and all the laughing I did through the year plus of skits just got no response from me this time.  Well, the Jay Pharoah as Ben Carson was still pretty boss… But it was a poor DVR choice!

With all the divisiveness and vitriol flying around, I just don’t know if democracy is working any more.  Bring back a monarchy!  Hell, The Walking Dead is doing it…  (I think I’m going to make Nene‘s nickname King Ezekiel, but I’ll work on graphics for that later)  No more Healthcare.Mozgov, it’s time to [re]embrace Lord Covington!  His followers were jumping off the bandwagon like they were in Paris in 1789, but now we need a strong leader to get behind!  23/6/1/1/1 with no TO for Robert Covington against the Pacers for by far his best line on the season, hitting 8-16 FG with 5 treys.  Just needs to get in more uptempo games!  Honestly, I know I lost some RobCo faith, but I’m back on the bandwagon.  I’m a flip flopper!  Sue me!  So be sure he wasn’t cut in your 10 or 12 team leagues, and scoop him up if so.  Looks like his shot is back.  It is worth mentioning that USG-whore Joel Embiid got a DNP though, so that might have helped things open up, but then again Embiid tweeted this yesterday.

Embiid 2020!  If it becomes a contest of which candidate – Embiid or the incumbent – is bigger in the downstairs, we all know who would win that one!

Apr 15, 2015; Philadelphia, PA, USA; Philadelphia 76ers center Joel Embiid (21) during warm ups before a game against the Miami Heat at Wells Fargo Center. Mandatory Credit: Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports

Here’s what else went down in Fantasy Hoops last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As I steadily stood fast next to Stephen Curry as my #1 player, I was reminded of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog Friday night. With all that Lakers yellow and Curry missing all his treys, I was like “somehow that song Yellow, makes me want to pee! I think because when it’s over, it’s a big relief to me!”

This is why you don’t panic on shooters, even if they’re the most elite players in the land. Unlike your big man studs, they’re going to have more peaks and valleys. We didn’t really see much of that inconsistency last year, but we got about the most epic cold-then-hot consecutive games we’ve ever seen. After snapping his 3PTM streak at 157 games going 0-10 Friday, Curry comes out and BREAKS THE NBA RECORD FOR 3s LAST NIGHT! WTF IS THAT?!

46/5/5/2/0 on 16-26 shooting, including 13-17 from downtown. Crazy talk. Dudes in the 3-point contest don’t even shoot that well! And it’s almost kinda sad that the Warriors NEEDED that kind of output, only beating the lowly – now 0-7 – Pelicans by 10. Curry is suddenly at 47.7% from the field with 4.6 treys a game: my argument for him #1 – FG% mixed with league-best 3s. While the rest of his numbers are down a tiny bit, the last 3 games he’s at 7.7 AST and 2.0 STL. So those are coming around as well. I only had one RCL with a top-7 pick, thankfully in the Slim vs. JB League, where I was able to nab him #2 and I’m still thrilled about it. This game was a big relief to me too! Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy basketball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Man, what a World Series!  The Cubs win Game 7 – in extra innings no less – to end their century plus drought and have their fans become insufferable, like the Red Sox.  Ugh.  But congrats to the Cubs, and now we can solely focus on basketball!!!  …until the football playoffs take over 45 minutes of every hour of Sportscenter…

Anywho, if it’s not my Brewers in the World Series, I could care less, and I was paying more attention to hoops last night anyway.  Very depressing night, but I wanted to start positive!  After singing his praises on the Pod Tuesday morning, T.J. Warren had a little bit of a down game on Halloween night, but bounced right back to lead the Suns to their first W in OT.  11-22 FG, love dat FG%, 5-5 FT, ditto, 27/7/0/2/1 with no TO.  Dem fighting numbers!  That gives him a 22.4/6.2/0.8/1.8/0.4 line on the season, shooting 50.6% from the field on 17.8 shots, 86.4% from the stripe in 4.4 FTA, and averaging only 1.0 TO.  This is turning into a fantasy MVP!  Of course, of course, of course it’s early, but Devin Booker was back after sitting one game, both Eric Bledsoe (hit the game winner) and Brandon Knight got their run, and I don’t really see any reason this can’t sustain.  The Pts probably come down a tad, but he doesn’t shoot 3s so the FG% should be huge, and he doesn’t really facilitate much which will keep his TO mad low.  On the Pod I compared him to DeRozan – with maybe even better FG% – and look at these floaters in traffic that are DeRozan-esque:

I’m very actively trying to correct the great injustice – with all my TJ love, I don’t own him on any teams.  Hopefully owners think this is a flash in the pan or a sell-high moment.  I don’t.  So be like Warren, take a trip to Dr. James Andrews, and get yourself a nice year-long TJ!  Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy basketball action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Save your horse, and ride a… Justin Hamilton?! As we coined on the Podcast, the coach of the Nets has officially changed his name. It’s even on his newly issued Birth Certificate! It’s no longer Kenny Atkinson. While Brooks wears his giant cowboy hat, Kenny literally wears his ass on his head. He is forever more: Kenny Asshat. I’d love to make that my Halloween costume!

After that shockingly low-run debut, Brook Lopez persevered in game two with a 25/5/1/1/0 line in only 26 minutes on Friday night. Maybe the most shocking aspect of that game was the Nets actually won an NBA game! Then on Saturday afternoon, we get word Brolo is going to get a healthy DNP-rest. Mother F Asshat! Because of course after 2+ healthy seasons including playing 33+ MPG last year, Brook is an injury risk. This is a ticking time bomb in Brooklyn… Asshat wants to chuck as many 3s as possible; through Saturday night’s game, Brooklyn’s 37.3 3PA were second in the NBA, only to the Mavericks who had an OT game then played Houston. 42% of their shots are treys, which leads the league thus far (small sample of course). Even in that “good” game from Brolo Friday night, he shot 0-4 from deep, giving him 6 3PTA this season. His career high 3PTA?! 14 last year for 0.2 a game. 3.0 thus far in 16-17. A big part of his value has been game-to-game reliability and FG%, and now we’re not going to get either. Asshat really wants to pound Brook’s square peg in a round hole, and we all know Asshat has a big round hole! What a mess this team is. Hopefully you don’t have too many shares of Brolo, and if you do, you’re really forced to hold as best you can. No one is giving you anything for him… But at least it opens some opportunities, with Hamilton now a streamer even in 12ers, and you know the rest of your Nets are all going to have ThrAGNOF streamability. Asshat playing his team like Duke. Shooting nothing but 3s… So annoying! No UNC bias there… I don’t think Asshat got the memo that the NBA perimeter is further out… Smh. Here’s what else went down over the weekend in Fantasy Basketball action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What an incredible NBA Opener for big men! Maybe the Sixers aren’t as crazy after all…? But the bigs across the league went absolute ham; they were big hams! It’s why in Supermarket Sweep the people would always go for the hams first. Why did they never go to the wine section?! Just nab the best ish there and start a party!

Myles and JV go for 30, Embiid has an epic debut, but it was Anthony Davis who takes home the best line of the openers thus far, going an absurd 50/16/5/7/4! I mean, it could literally be the best line of the season… Double rainbow, 7 steals?!, shot 17-34, and hit 16-17 FT. After taking a little flack keeping him #1 last year, Brow started the 15-16 season going 18/6/2/0/3 shooting 4-20 (420!) and 10-15 FT. Dude, apparently the Pelicans medical staff – in all of their immense glory and wisdom – should’ve taken a hammer to his ankle before last season! Hard to believe a mere 1.5 weeks ago his status for the opener was in question off a kankle, but we’re seeing the ups and downs of what it’ll be like to be a Brow owner. Especially the dread of seeing him play 41 minutes in a loss… I nabbed him in one league, and might try some preposterous sell highs. But the allure of lines like that are tough to ignore. We just all know we’re one horrific Pels medical staff decision away from this happening to him walking out of the training room. Here’s what else happened on our first major slate of NBA games of the 2016-17 Fantasy Basketball Season:

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When you’re The Duchess K Middleton, you don’t go on scrubby vacations.  None of that beach hotel with bratty kids running around and sand in the halls, none of those rickety cruise ships where the power goes out and you have to poo in plastic bags…  I’m talking huge!  Like Disneyland completely rented out only for the family!  Sledding down glaciers in Antarctica!  Hanging out with baller celebs at The Razzball Basketball Office!

As is always the case, our commenters are absolute gold.  Joe mentioned the trend of Khris Middleton‘s poor play with Jason Kidd the coach, and I also ran with it looking at the numbers in a FantasyPros piece on second-half expectations.  Now, it’s not really that The Duchess is playing that poor, but ROS rankers had him 36th overall.  Seemed a little rich – not quite Kate Middleton rich – but like, Queen Latifah rich.  Using the ol’ copy-and-paste: “Since Jan. 26, Middleton has shot only 33% from the field with a 3.6:3.6 AST:TO ratio (I guess I could’ve simplified that to 1:1!) in 7 games. Given, it’s a pretty small sample, but in the 17 games immediately prior to when Kidd was out, Middleton shot 50% with a 5.0:2.5 AST:TO ratio (I mean 2:1!). And then the chunk at the beginning of the season until Kidd’s hip gave out, dimes were at 3.4 and he shot 39.9%.”  I agree it could be statistical noise, but Kidd has had several “are you effing KIDDing me?!” moments with his line-ups.  Luckily The Duchess ended the first half on a high note, going 27/6/9/5/0 with only 2 TO and shooting 9-17.  Kidd must’ve just been not paying attention!  Too busy rubbing his bald head like foreplay with Mr. Clean.  It’s a great finale to an otherwise rough February, and maybe It’s Much Ado About Nothing.  Which just seems British, I dunno…  And you wanna know who else is heading into this ASB strong?!  ME!  And well, the NBA by only having two games…  So a slightly shorter Daily Notes, since we’re all ready to actually pay our families some attention with the NBA off until next Thursday (that is, except for the All-Star events!).  Here’s what else went down last night in Fantasy Hoops action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

With any All-Star list, it’s impossible to include everyone who is having a great year. There are only 12 roster spots and there will always be well-deserving candidates that just don’t fit on the roster. It’s what makes the All-Star selection so noteworthy.

With the All-Star Game this weekend, here is my list of valuable fantasy all-stars who just don’t receive as much love:

Eastern Conference:

Kemba Walker – The Hornets are right in the hunt for the 8th playoff seed in the east and that’s due to the play of Walker. Al Jefferson and Michael Kidd-Gilchrist (more on him later) have missed most of the season, while Nicolas Batum (11/6/5) has been in and out of the lineup. Walker produces night in and night out with whoever is playing alongside him. Walker scored 25 points with 7 rebounds, 3 assists, and 2 steals to lead the Hornets to another victory.

Nikola Vucevic – Vucci Mane has been the cornerstone of the Magic and has single-handedly won the game for them with a few recent game-winners. He did much of the same on Wednesday with 20 points, 13 rebounds, 5 assists, and 2 blocks. He’s only 25 so there’s still time for him to make the roster one of these years.

Please, blog, may I have some more?