What a 2013-14 Fantasy Basketball Season its been! There have been tears, there have been laughs, there have been [formerly] Luminescent Lithuanians… Hard to believe a mere six-and-a-half months ago, we were launching into the season. Man, was I right to be scared of Tobias Harris‘ ankle! It ended up being scarier than watching Alien as a 10-year-old! Something was popping outta something! While this is the last daily recap until October, we’re going to have all sorts of fantastic content through the season starting with a rankings review with Slim and I, my very fun “Way Too Early Rankings” right around the end of the month, a few big announcements, and a video of me shaving “High as Greg Kite” in my head. Which, well… Sigh… Anyway, it’s been a great year, hopefully we’ve helped win you some titles and can win a few more for you Roto players. Here’s what’s going down on the Season Finale of Fantasy Basketball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Brewers baby! Best record in baseball. 9 in a row. Oh yea, this is basketball, but man! My Brewers are unstoppable! And it carried over to the hardwood, when Corey Brewer had maybe the most preposterous, out-of-nowhere game all year. I actually did highlights for the Wolves Rockets game Friday night, and it was like watching a pickup game where one guy was just light years better than everyone else. Slice-n-dice, no need to take shots. In the first quarter, I leaned over to a co-worker and said Brewer is having the game of his life. Made me look smart! Going in with a career-high of 29, Brewer dropped 51 on like, a trillion layups and pick 6s. 51/2/1/6/0, and just how everyone learned from Oliver, “you’ve got to pick a pocket or two!” Or six. And probably 5 of them led to uncontested layups, but he did have some pretty sick and-ones for good measure. Deeper leaguers that had Brewer probably thought stat tracker was broken Friday night. I’ve always been a Brewer fan, it was sad to have to trade him to Slim, but when Kevin Martin and Kevin Love returned, it was cool down time for the NBA’s Brew Crew on Sunday, going for only 10 and two steals. Regardless, I love that Brewer now gets to share a milestone with Michael Jordan, Allen Iverson and Rick Barry as the only guys to go 50+ with 6+ steals. One of these is not like the other! Good for Brewer, and if the Wolves indeed deal Love and/or let K-Mart walk, Brewer could be pretty interesting next year. Here’s what else I saw over the weekend in fantasy basketball action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Razzball Nation! Hopefully you’re hopping over here to boast your hardware. To flaunt your gold. To show us all your bigger red ass to display your dominance over us weakling chimps! Most H2H leagues wrapped up last night, and I had a brutal year. Multi-titles last year, not a one this time out. But hey! It’s been a fun season, and we’ve still got a few weeks left for other H2Hers and Roto players. So we’ll be here! And we’ve got a fun championship edition week coming at ya, with Slim’s REL acceptance speech along with Wednesday’s RCL Championship crowning. Speaking of crowning, somebody get Aaron Brooks the iron throne (I thought about making a birthing joke instead, but that’s gross)! Dude has been owning Westeros (I think that’s right, it’s hard to keep up with all the kingdoms when you haven’t read the books!), getting his second straight 40+ minute outing and blowing up for 24/8/15/3/0. As I mentioned in the comments at some point last week, Brooks against the Rockets with no Patrick Beverley checking him was going to be saucy. Then Ty Lawson had to sit on top of it! Wow, that sentence comes off weird as a standalone… Brooks looks to be an immediate add with Brian Shaw quoted that he’s not rushing Lawson back. As well he shouldn’t, captain obvious! Try and snatch up Brooks if you still can and ride him while Lawson sits on it, apparently. Hah! Here’s what else I saw over the weekend:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Razzball Nation! We’re here on a special weekend wrap-up where Slim (this is JB speaking) got to the action and JB just snuck in the beginning. And snuck in the end! I’m like Brad Pitt at the Oscars. “Wait, why is he winning best picture! So confused right now…” Tomorrow I’ll proudly illustrate what I did over the weekend, but a nice defining touch hoops-wise was another great one from my boy Mike Scott, who while posting great lines, isn’t helping the Hawks win… And that’s a problem! Especially with Paul Millsap assumedly back sometime soon this week. But I thought Gravity mighta gotten best picture too! After a really rough send-off last Monday, went bonkers on the Suns for 20/5/2/3/0 with three treys and not a single TO. I bet Philly sports fans wish they had no TO. BOOM! Double sports joke. The main number that got my emoji tats all excited was the 40 mins played. Millsap is going to travel with the Hawks as they migrate on a 5-game road trip, but very easily could miss the first few making Scott a solid short-term add. So beam him aboard, win a big week as we near playoff time, and don’t forget to yell over the music if those pompous mf#@*$ng PA guys at the Oscars wanna condescend you by playing the music. And here’s Slim with what he saw over the weekend:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Oh man! So many places to go with a title like that… Last night we had two virtually 100%-owned big men step back on the hardwood in Derrick Favors and Andrew Bogut. Let’s start first with Aussie Aussie Aussie who had his typical Oi Oi Oi multi-cat line for 4/7/4/1/1. Played 29 minutes which is very encouraging, but did foul out. The big man fouls were rough in this one! Both starting 4/5s combined for 10 fouls in Golden State at Detroit. Mark Jackson pre-game must’ve been like, “pretend you’re all Artest and the Pistons just threw a beer on you!” I remain high on Bogut for his multi-cat walkabouts. Then to Favors – who had been doing fantasy owners no Favors with his bum hip – but lit it up in his return last night for 8-9 FG (4-4 FT) 20/4/1/0/3 in 29 you-couldn’t-ask-for-better minutes. Hopefully his hip can hold up the rest of the season! And hopefully he doesn’t Favor too much on the other one. Womp womp. Worst joke of the year! Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The trade deadline is here! Today! And even though we had a few trades already go down, more are sure to proliferate through the league office. Hopefully the NBA has faster fax machines than the NFL. I mean, seriously on that Elvis Dumervil thing?! BREAKING NEWS! The Heat trade LeBron James to Cleveland for Anthony Bennett, but the trade was sent just over a month too late. Reports indicate it was sent on April 1st. Hah! Sent from some hooligan named David Stern… You’ve been punked Adam Silver! Back to reality, we’ve seen Marcus Thornton get traded to the grandpa Nets for Jason Terry and Reggie Evans and Steve Blake get all his fantasy value decapitated Hershel-Walking Dead style by getting shipped to the Warriors for Kent Bazemore and MarShon Brooks. The takeaways thus far is you can cut Blake in virtually all leagues, and in deeper leagues I actually think Reggie Evans could start at some point as the Kings 4. Jason Thompson is one of the many rumored on the trading block which would open up that role. I’m not saying Evans would play 30 minutes or anything, but could maybe average 8 boards a game while doing nothing else in the typical Evans fashion. So when I say deeper leagues, I mean deeeeeeper. We’ll recap the rest of the trades in tomorrow morning’s piece as well as in the comments throughout the afternoon to help with your fantasy moves. Here’s what else went down in NBA action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ross can! Rosssssss can! Ross can get me the tickets! Somebody call the Police, because Terrence Ross is on fire! Or, ummm, do we call the Mounties? I plain just don’t know… But if anyone (aherm, me) had to feel the Sting of that 51-point outburst against them – out of so left field from Ross that it was out of the Pacific Ocean – then you’re certainly sending a message in a bottle to the fantasy gods asking “Whyyyyyy?!” 51/9/1/1/0 shooting 16-29 and hitting 10 Harvey’s Trays. “What’s with the sit-com references today JB?!” Yeah, no one will get that last one… Sit-coms are always fun, light, and don’t end on Sunday nights with me throwing things. “Enough about you, JB!” Damn, commenters are angry this morning! DeMar DeRozan sprained his foot in that game, and while Ross was already hot, no DeRozan helped him get hotter. “Hansel is so hot right now.” DeRozan looks like he’ll miss at least a few games – already not traveling tonight – making Ross a must-own for this week and the immediate future. The Raptors are all the sudden with 18 less shots a game (no, that’s not me throwing out an arbitrary number, that’s really DeRozan’s FGA a game!) so this is a great opportunity for Jonas Valaciunas as well to go on a solid run. Will be an interesting game tonight at Brooklyn to see how the two younguns perform. Here’s what else I saw over the weekend in NBA action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
When the New Orleans Saints won the Super Bowl in 2009, it was a great example of how the Sports Karma Gods can sometimes rush in after tragedy strikes to lift a city up and help it rebuild.
But then that was it. No more, said the Sports Karma Gods. Because since 2009, Big Easy sports fans have endured the Sean Payton scandal, the Chris Paul trade, the Hornets changing their name to the Pelicans, the freaking horrible uniforms for this year’s NBA All-Star game and a rash of injuries not unlike the rash Candy Flanders gave me in my sophomore year of high school. Er, ah, moving on.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Leandro Barbosa had a really good run in the 2000′s, captaining the Black Pearl, slashing to the basket with some great drives – just like the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise was all-around fun to watch in his prime. After a decline in Leandro’s play, he was shipped to Toronto for some turkey named Hedo Turkoglu. Barbosa averaged nearly 13 Pts a game north of the border in two seasons, but then he was constantly asea with stints with the Pacers and Celtics before tearing his ACL in February last year. And man, did that injury make him look attractive to the Wizards, who traded for him in a salary move. Never playing for the Wizards and not getting any deals in the offseason, Barbosa looked stranded on the Isla de Muerta. But some rum runners and/or braiding human hair from his back to lash together sea turtles got him back to civilization and re-signed by his former Suns a week ago. After three meh games, Barbosa broke out with a 21/3/2 game last night. Commodore Barbosa! Bootstraps’ bootstraps! He stayed on the court just over 30 minutes, and was infinitely better scoring the ball than Gerald Green, who shot 2-16. Labradoodle alert! No need to Geoffrey Rush to the wire in 10-teamers or 12-teamers, unless you’ve got a banged up squad in 12-team and only need points. He’s a little interesting in deeper leagues though. Mainly because he’ll get minutes, get shots, and will breakout on cold Green nights. Here’s what else I saw last night across the Caribbean:Please, blog, may I have some more?
You know, Raymond Felton broke his hand last year, and this is no joke, less than two weeks after Twinkies were officially discontinued. I imagine him hearing the news after a Knicks loss, and punching the glass out at a NYC convenience store. “How will I ever carboload before rolling onto the court!” Then Twinkies, after being bought out and licensed, again appeared on store shelves in July 2013. And ohhhh boy, was it an offseason to remember for Roly Poly Felton! Even though he’s always looked like a big boy, concerns about his weight surfaced yet again, and this year his stats were down before a myriad of injuries took their toll. This past groin injury, where Felton reportedly heard a “pop”, finally got him to listen to the advice of the trainers. “When my little guy down there told me something was wrong, I finally listened.” Knicks head athletic trainer Roger Hinds had to think on the fly, eventually settling on a 12-grain/cashew cream vegan Twinkie-substitute. Instead of the 15-17 off-the-shelf Twinkies comprising the majority of Felton’s daily diet, he was down to 12-14 “healthy-makers” (as he called them) while rehabbing his groin injury. “The first three or four were kinda funky, but then you get that urge for more-and-more just like the old ones.” After losing 34 pounds in 72 hours, Felton was ready to rejoin the team in practice. “I felt great out there, mobile, my arms stopped running into my love handles when I was drivin’ to the hoop.” Another 42 pounds came off in the next week, and he was ready to play last night. And man, did those 76 lost pounds come in handy! 13/5/14/1/0 against the Heat in a surprise win. I caught up with him after the game: “No J.R. Smiff in the game helped me keep the rock and everything runnin’ through me. He can untie e’rybody’s shoelaces all I care!” Back to reality, I did watch this game, and the bulk of those assists came on dishes to Carmelo Anthony burying jumpers, so the assist total is obviously a big outlier. But Felton did look good. Made good moves, looked agile, and more importantly, made the Knicks look better while playing 39 minutes. We can have fun all we want, but I think I was wrong to be a little dismissive on him returning. I like him right now over D.J. Augustin and Kendall Marshall for example. More staying power, and while the most injury prone of the bunch, I think helps you more in the long-haul. Must-own in 12-teamers, depends on need and depth in 10ers. Here’s what else I saw last night:Please, blog, may I have some more?