There gets a point in every crayon box where you just don’t want to bother with unwrapping the paper, sharpening the wax down to a more manageable point and coloring anew. Those damn crayons never came close to being as sharp as they were when they were organized and fresh. Coloring is supposed to be fun and to put it simply, it’s no fun coloring with nubby, used crayons. Yeah, there’s still wax available, but I’ll be damned if I have any interest in messing with it. I’d prefer a fresh box. The Milwaukee Bucks are a nubby box of crayons. Yeah, there are plenty of options on the teamr, but none reliable enough to make your roster really pop! Andrew Bogut‘s the most reliable guy on the Bucks, but he’s only scored in double-digits once in the last four games and he’s playing injured all season. Brandon Jennings is the blue Crayola to Bogut’s red, but he’s out another couple weeks. Even if he weren’t, he still shoots with the efficiency of someone with sticky tape on his hands. Corey Maggette and Larry Sanders carried the Bucks to another loss last night (21/7, 15/8 respectively), but neither had made any noise in the month previous. Ersan Ilyasova and John Salmons are perpetually streaky (and those streaks rarely last more than three games), Keyon Dooling went 0/0/2 in 23 minutes Wednesday, which is disappointing in comparison to his recent production, but is still – don’t forget – a very Keyon Dooling Game. I mean, we’re talking about Keyon Dooling! Carlos Delfino? Whenever he returns, he’ll be wearing a helmet. There’s neither rhyme nor reason to this team. It’s deep, it’s injured, it has never won more than three games in a row this season, and its coach is a tinkerer who’s cooking this team on a rostisserie. Put it all together and what do you get? A bunch of nubby utensils coloring your roster a muddy brown.
Here’s how Wednesday went down in fantasy basketball:
Kwame Brown – Shot .286 from the line on his way to an 8/14 night in his third start this season. Charlotte already rid itself of one harmful Brown five games ago, why not bench this one and run Tyrus Thomas out for 48 minutes at a time? Because the team would still have Derrick Brown starting. Oh. Right.
Kevin Martin – Speed Racer went into Mach 5 last night, blazin’ Portland to the tune of 45 points, including six treys and 13-for-15 from the line.
Louis Williams – Fun fact! Screwy Louis’ best games this season have come when he gets to the line at least nine times (he was 10-for-11 last night), and the nights he gets to the line in bunches have all come against slow or confused PG (Jameer Nelson, John Wall, Mike Bibby, Mo Williams). Consider this next time you’re deciding whether to play Louis or not.
Andres Nocioni – 10/10 as you’ve got two more games to vulture Andre Iguodala‘s stats from Iguodala owners.
JaVale McGee – 4/6 with a block in 24 minutes. I’m no basketball superwiz (or superWiz if you’re in D.C.), but I bet Flip Saunders was hoping for more from a guy that can jump over an MTA bus.
Derrick Favors – 7/5 in nine foul-plagued starter’s minutes. As failed experiments go, this falls somewhere between France’s large hadron collider and Doc Frankenstein. If you own Kris Humphries (20/11 in 38 minutes last night), hang onto him until this ride drops one of them off for good.
Carlos Boozer – 12/9/5 in 26 minutes before Tom Thibodeau benched him for the entire fourth quarter. Right now, this isn’t a big deal. But remember that Boozer has bristled every coach he’s ever played for and had his effort called into question in both Utah and Cleveland. But, still … right now, this is not a big deal.
Christian Eyenga – Let’s see. Who do we got playing for the Cavs these days? We have Antawn Jamison. We’re all familiar with him. Anderson Varejao returned from a cheek injury, that’s nice. Mo? Mo’s there. Mo’s shooting poorly. Okay. And who’s that next to him? … um, No. 8. No. 8? No. 8. That’s, uh. Gimme a second … okay, I give up. /peeks at box score.\ Christian Eyenga? Yeah, i’m gonna need to see another two or three 16/2/0 in 28 minutes-games from him before I consider him a deep-league fantasy option.
Ramon Sessions – Daniel Gibson returned to the lineup yesterday after missing a week, then left with an undisclosed injury. You probably haven’t had time to drop Sessions yet, which is good. It saves you from having to pick him up again. He’s averaging 16/6.5/7.5 in the absence of Boobie.
Jerryd Bayless – Sat out Wednesday to nurse his injured ankle, which is exactly what Jose Calderon did the night before when Bayless played. So maybe instead of nursing the injury, these two are just nannying the same injury. You watch the ankle tonight. Tomorrow, I’ll watch the ankle while you go out and have a big time with the boys!
Ed Davis – Seriously, has anyone ever gotten the 8/7 line as much as Davis?
Glen Davis – Sticking with the Davis theme, Baby got 23 points. Sweet. his two rebounds? Sour, bro.
Darko Milicic – Played 26 minutes in an OT game. It was the ninth game this season he’s amassed at least five fouls and the third straight game he’s been a little too touchy. Somebody glue this guy’s arms to his ears so he can’t foul, but can still block shots.
Marcus Thornton – The Hornets are 4-0 when Thornton sees 21 minutes or more. Last night, he played 4:20. As long as he’s buried this deep on the bench, the Hornets deserve to lose.
Andris Biedrins – As first reported here after being reported elsewhere many time over, Aunt Bie’ returned from a foot injury but still played as if he labored from a foot injury. Bench him ’til he’s good.
Andre Miller – Went from averaging 14/9 in 32 mpg to start the season to 13/7.5 in December to 7.7/4.7 in his last three. Keep your eye on Patty Mills. His production chart is going in the opposite direction as Miller’s.
DeAndre Jordan – 16 rebas, 5 blocks Twenty boards and six blocks. Any league with 12 or more teams should be rostering this guy until he stops kicking this much ass.
Marcin Gortat – Started. Played 29 minutes and went 12/9. He also blocked a shot, which is more than can be said for FroPez who hasn’t blocked a shot in 2011.
Wesley Matthews – If you remove WesMat’s 30 point game from last Thursday, He’s playing more like HazMat in his last six (.263 FG%, 10.6/3.2/2.2).
Jared Dudley – 21 points last night. When he scores in double-digits, he does it in a big way. He’s averaging 25 points in four of his last eight games. In the other four games he’s averaging 5.3 ppg. You take the good, you take the bad, you take ‘em both, and there you have … a shaky fantasy option.
Pau Gasol – Averaged 20.3/12.3/3.9 on .541 shooting in November. In the five games since Andrew Bynum has entered the starting lineup, Gasol has averaged 13.6/8.8/2.8 on .473 shooting. This is Gasol’s floor, brought on by getting re-adjusted to Bynum being on the court. When it’s all over, Gasol’s average should filter somewhere between these two averages.
Rajon Rondo – Chris Paul was all, “watch me dish out 13 dimes tonight, kid!” Then Jose Calderon was all, “Here’s 17 assists in your eye and I’m four years older than you, why are you calling me kid?” Then Paul said, “I was talking to John Wall. He’s standing right behind you.” Then John Wall pointed to the 14 assists he had, but was too busy Dougie-ing to actually say anything. Then Rondo tossed out 22 assist and didn’t say nothing. Guys who triple-double and distribute a week’s worth of assists in one game don’t have to say nothin’ to nobody.
Deron Williams – .333 (5-for-15) with five turnovers. Whose job was it to tell him about superduper PG day?