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None of this “wait until the home opener next season” ish, we hang the gold jersey on the rafters right away in the REL!  Congrats to I Ain’t No Jok(ic), winning their first REL title after not making the playoffs and rebuilding the first two seasons.  Playoff experience is overrated!  3 years are now in the books, and we have 3 different champions.  No “dynasty” team yet!  Good luck to everyone in their offseason dynasty prep, as we all look forward to competing for 16-17 titles in our dynasty leagues.  I want that golden jersey dammit!  Here’s how the finals went down in the REL:

RAZZBALL ELITE LEAGUE

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The H2H season is over! Hopefully you triumphed over your leagues with Ws in the final week, and kept from being rocked by the DNP-obsessed NBA. NBA coaches and GMs are just trolling us fantasy players! Ya know what Dwane Casey? You’re flat out dumb, your mom is ugly, and you’re a n00b coach!

Erstwhile all these benchings, we got a big return yesterday afternoon with Blake Griffin rejoining the Clip. On top of Doc saying he was mad out of shape, we also got news his quad is still bothering him and he’ll be playing through the pain. Oh, wahhhhhhhh Blake! What about the pain of getting slugged in the face by one of the most jacked NBA players in the league!? Or as you see it, sorry his skull caused your hand such pain! Hopefully you were only stashing Blake in IL leagues, as he only put up 6/5/4/0/0 with a TO in 22 minutes. He shot 2-7 from the field, and looked more gassed than Zoolander’s Balls Models friends… Did anyone even see the 2nd one? Looked awful… Anyway, Doc said he was going to be really careful with Blake, so if your league continues on until the bitter end, be prepared for continual low-minutes and Doc to hop in on the DNP obsession. Hopefully it’s just a fad, like Angry Birds or those skinny rubber wristbands… Oh wait! Here’s what else went down over the championship weekend in fantasy basketball:

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Follow the white Babbitt!  If you had told me Luke Babbitt would be a critical add over the fantasy finals weekend, I would’ve beaten you to death with a sack full of lucky rabbit’s feet.   Would that be a …lucky way to die?

No, it’s not an April Fool’s joke that Babbitt went 22/10/3/2/1 last night.  No, it’s a joke he took a team-high (and an absurdly-high!) 25 shots.  And no, it’s not a joke that the Pelicans won a game led by Luke Mother F Babbitt!  That’s right, a guy with a last night that sounds like how Grey incorrectly pronounces “BABIP” on the Razzball Baseball Podcast is all the sudden a must-own wing over the final 3 H2H days.  Such a Velveteen Babbitt!  “He said it was because I know you like rabbits, and I know you like cheese…”  The Pelicans have no reason not to throw (double negative police!) their scrubbiest of scrubs into the starting 5 and see what wet noodles stick on the wall, so I fully expect him to be a starter for you in most 12-team leagues or deeper on the final Sunday @BKN.  Throw him in your Babbitt Stew!  OK, enough rabbit puns, as Monty Python would say – “get on with it!”  Oh yeah, I shoulda used a Holy Grail reference.  TOO LATE NOW!  Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy basketball action:

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We’re back with a special edition of the Podcast where Slim and I both recorded the whole show on our cell phones to post on social media later! On today’s Pod we recap news and notes from the past two nights including some late-season DNPs and streaming options, player another edition of Higher/Lower (now with Slim’s voice reaching higher octaves than ever before!), preview tonight’s games with our 30-Point Challenge picks, then wrap up at the movies including a look at our Fantasy Movie League.

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The Razzball Hoops Pod is back, and on today’s Pod we recap news and notes from the weekend including Slim’s REL victory and Shane Larkin’s 5-game stream, play another edition of Can We Make Slim Look Stupid, then preview tonight’s games with our 30-Point Challenge picks.

As mentioned on the show, check out our 2013-14 and 2014-15 Razzies, which we award to the godawful of godawfulness from the fantasy season! If you have any suggestions for categories to award for 2015-16, shoot your thoughts below! The Razzies are coming this week!

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REL Basketball1Well, there goes that…  If you want to avoid a whiny rant about a bad-beat in the REL playoffs that came down to .001% of a point, then just skip over my recap.  I’m cold.  I’m bitter.  I’m all alone!  Thankfully I have some primo KCP I can huff and get me through the offseason.  Hey, at least I didn’t destroy my keepers core to go for the gold!  Here’s how the semis wrapped up in week 21 in the REL, plus a preview of the REL Finals:

RAZZBALL ELITE LEAGUE

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It’s finals week! Ugh, that makes it sound like I’m back in college…

“Oh no, I haven’t studied!” “…oh thank god!”

But you wanna know who DID study for all of his exams?! Harvard’s own Jeremy Lin. “Ohhohohohoho look at me, I’m from the Ivy League!” Linsanity is book-smart, plays in the NBA, and can get away with an Elmer’s Glue mohawk that makes that moron from Blink-182 jealous. On top of all that, he’s fantasy relevant as a H2H finals pickup! In RCL leagues with the “daily-tomorrow” setting, he’s going to be an early stream for me in the finale with a Tuesday matchup against the Sixers. Sure he’s cooled off a little bit his last two games, but 9/4/4/5/0 is still pretty saucy – his damage against the Bucks – which he put up last time out. In the finals, it’s all about streaming and anything that isn’t nailed down can go. It’s like Pirates of the Caribbean when they use their silverware in their cannons. Would it work in real life? Probably not. But in fantasy, dream away! This metaphor has gone wayyyyy downhill, if only I had an Ivy League edjamucation I might be more creative… Good luck in the Finals if you’re still in the playoffs, Razzball Nation! Here’s what went down this weekend in fantasy hoops action, plus the 7 Ahead for Week 22:

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I think I can, I think I can, I think I can! Winning a fantasy hoops season is like the little engine that could, with tough decisions along the way and navigating a billion injuries. But hell, if your railroad tracks get demolished, there’s not much you can do (cough, stupid REL injuries, cough…). Unless ya know, you’re Indiana Jones in the Temple of Doom and have some nice Mario Kart music fueling your escape

Trust me, I’ve never run a marathon – mostly because I don’t want to have to pay for one of those dumb 26.2 bumper stickers – but I ended up cutting Myles Turner as a desperation stream in a cutthroat 5-4 playoff win last week in one of my RCLs. It feels like I sold out to sprint past 1st place during mile 24! Now I’ve lost control of my bowels, my muscles are spasming out of control, and I’m probably sputtering into not completing the race. Fortunately in the JB vs. Slim RCL I had the luxury of the bye and held strong. Strong and steady wins the race (as does 1st round byes…)! Turner went nuts for 24/16/1/0/3 on 11-17 FG last night, in a hell of a way to celebrate his 20th birthday. Dude can play pro ball like this, vote, drive, and CAN’T celebrate with a beer?! It was a strong way to break through that nebulous rookie wall, even though he’d been pretty solid lately anyway. And with a possible DNP from your main Pacer, another big game could be coming to close out your week in the semis. Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy hoops action:

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The Razzball Hoops Pod is here for YOU at the crack of dawn, and on today’s Pod we recap news and notes from the past two nights of action including some new starters in Brooklyn and NIIIIIKKKOLLLLLLAAAA, preview tonight’s games with our 30-Point Challenge picks, then wrap up at the movies including a look in at our Fantasy Movie League.

As mentioned again today, check out our 2013-14 and 2014-15 Razzies, which we award to the worst of the worst from the fantasy basketball season! If you have any suggestions for categories to award for 2015-16, shoot your thoughts below! The Razzies are coming soon!

Download in iTunes

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The Razzball Hoops Pod is back, and we’re juiced for a big bounceback show! On today’s Pod we recap news and notes from our last pod including the Brow shutdown and Pau Gasol coming back, play another edition of Can We Make Slim Look Stupid, then preview tonight’s games with our 30-Point Challenge picks.

As mentioned last week, check out our 2013-14 and 2014-15 Razzies, which we award to the dubiouses of doobs for awful seasons! If you have any suggestions for categories to award for 2015-16, shoot your thoughts below! The Razzies are coming soon!

Download in iTunes

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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