Right now, Kings games from here on out can be perfectly embodied by a The Ben Stiller Show skit. Such an underrated show (couldn’t find the clip on Youtube, it’s too old!). Andy Dick is on the bomb squad, gets to the bomb, then starts doing ridiculous things while the 10 seconds counts down that take a lot longer than 10 seconds… Cooks lunch, changes a baby, shizz like that. All the while the countdown clicks down unfathomably slow, until it’s at 1 and blows him up. Man, it’s hard to describe things when there’s not a video for it! 3rd Century problems…
Well, losing a quality PG like Darren Collison in the second quarter never helps (abdominal strain – getting an MRI today. Good thing he’s not a baseball player, he’d be out two months!), but the Kings are a bigger failed experiment than that prison Stanford thing after getting bludgeoned by the Dirk-less, Rondo-less Mavs. Too many good players to be this bad! Boogie turns it over too much, Gay isn’t working next to him, and the abyss that is the starting PF can’t be all to blame. At 17-31, that’s NOT how the West was won… Gay and Cuz make a lot of dough, but Colly playing this well on a 3-year $15 mil deal is starting to look mighty tasty to potential suitors. If he gets through this ab MRI with nothing worse than a “nice six pack” prognosis, I think it’s about time to sell. Of course Derrick Williams would be nice to dump, and, well, anyone else not named Ben McLemore (who is taking a nice step forward) would be awesome for SAC to kick out. A nice kick in the SAC is what the Kings need! Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy hoops action:
Jason Maxiell – Sheesh, the dude’s got like a 5-inch vertical but no one can get past him! 7 blocks in an uber-fluky 11/8/0/0/1/7 games. Mad Maxiell! Not touching him Beyond Thunderdome. I bet he could scrap his way into some wins to appease Tina.
Lance Stephenson – Hit a couple treys early, which might be a bigger anomaly than Maxiell’s 7 blocks! 11/2/4/0/0 with 3 TO on 4-11 shooting. Such a waste of money…
Brian Roberts – Gets a little street cred from me after taking this screen and still playing 38 minutes! DeJuan Blair with the hit stick! Got a nasty shiner, but he’s so boring. 12/3/5/0/0 only hitting 1-7 from deep (5-13 overall). He dribbles the ball up and can’t create anything. Didn’t take any art classes in school!
Gerald Henderson – Can’t stop Hendo! Hit his first 6 shots for 13 points in the 1st, ending up with a 27/4/1/2/2 line. It was solid if you played him in daily for some reason, but me no buy!
Cody Zeller – On a grade scale of A-F, his performance was a Z last night. 0/5/1/0/1 with 5 fouls in 23 minutes with 3 TO.
John Wall – Getting battered and bruised like an old fried banana. 15/3/13 was solid enough last night, but only 2 Pts in the second half and I still worry some DNPs will come down the road.
Bradley Beal – And to make things worse for Wiz fans, Beal left early with soreness in his toe. What is it lately with toe injuries?! Just lop those things off, they’re not important! Doesn’t sound too serious… And he’s already said he hopes to play tomorrow.
Matt Barnes – The key to the Clips! Got ejected with two techs after 24 minutes in a Clippers blowout. The refs are anti-tattoos!
Kyrie Irving – Took a backseat in this one, kinda like the whole Clippers lineup. Burn! 10/6/4/0/0 with a trey. Saved all the energy for D!
Kevin Love – Nice bounce back game from the Love Machine for 24/9/3/0/0. Bounce back as in, first time scoring 24+ in 12 games. It’s been no bueno! “I don’t work for nobody OR you!”
Timofey Mozgov – Ya know, for as much as Slim and I have made fun of him, looked decent out there for 12/9/2/0/1 in 28 minutes. “Looked decent” as in “not a scub-fest at the eye level.” Still hit only 2-6 FT. Blah.
J.R. Smith – 5 steals and 4 treys and not much else, but that’ll work! I never would have thought moving to the Cavs would give him 2.5 more points and double his steals… They needed him for his D too I guess! Wait, I thought that’s why they got Iman Shumpert…
Al-Farouq Aminu – Talk about defense! Started for Dirk Nowitzki (rest, and the DNP concerns are here!) and almost rainbowed in the first half. Barely played in the 2nd half in that absolute rout, ending up with a 2/4/1/2/3 line. Only hit 1-6 from the field as he still struggles with O, but to stream some D, he could be useful.
J.J. Barea – 15/3/5 hitting a trey in 32 minutes. Looks like it’s his job to fill Rajon Rondo‘s shoes! They’re like, 6 sizes too big, but ya know.
Charlie Villanueva – Looks like he hasn’t kicked the Charlie bucket yet! Still shoots it every touch like an oversized Swaggy P, getting 25 minutes of 8/8/2/0/2. hitting 4-14. Missed all his 6 attempts from deep, and when Dirk is back it’ll be back to DNP fests.
DeMarcus Cousins – Piles it up again for 23/11/3/1/2 and piles up the TO again with 6. Tick tick, tick tick…
Rudy Gay – Louder ticks! 11/9/4/1/1 hitting only 2-13 from the field.
Nicolas Batum – The ups and downs of Batum this year! Luckily last night was an upper for 20/4/7/1/0 with a couple of treys.
Robin Lopez – Ughhhhhh! Noooooo! 11/12 with 4 blocks. But 50% from the FT line?! Unacceptable! Told you he’s awful! I keed of course, looks like he can be useful. That said, Chris Kaman was out with a back issue and could siphon some minutes again like earlier in the year.
Alex Len – Rolled his ankle. Ruh roh. Injuries have been an issue for the big fellah, especially the kankles, so it might be a few games at the least. Even so, neither of Miles Plumlee or Brandan Wright interest me…
Streamers/Cheap Daily League Picks:
Alan Anderson (2% owned) – The Nets have an endless supply of ThrAGNOF SG, that’s for sure! Went 22/5 with 3 treys last time out, and while his minutes are anything but consistent as the starting 2, this should be a fun, gun-slingin’ matchup against the Knicks. Battle for NY!
Dion Waiters (40% owned) – I know, I know, I usually go a little bit deeper than 40% owned, but Waiters is likely to draw another start with Kevin Durant out with toe jam, and off two good games filling in I’m going for three straight if he’s out there.
Thanks for stopping by Razzball Nation, and good luck over the weekend! Catch ya Monday morning!