Andre Iguodala was a late scratch from last night’s throw-down with the Spurs. And because of that, it quickly turned into a throw-down from the Spurs. Word ’round the campfire is he’s got the left knee patellar tendonitis. I put “the” in front of the diagnosis to alert the reader that I am not a doctor and only have a elementary level of understanding of such injuries. Kind of the way your mom calls your favorite rapper “the Jay-Z” or your grandmother calls your best friend “that Asian boy.” Put the or that in front of something that doesn’t need it and you’re tipping your hand that you don’t get it. There was no official word on Iggy’s Jumper’s Knee as of the publication of this post, but I’d count on a couple games off minimum as the Sixers aren’t likely to rush him back this close to the playoffs. Jodie Meeks is the Man in Philly while Iguodala nurses himself back to health. (He’s doing it all by himself, doctors be damned!) Wait. I didn’t finish my thought, Jodie Meeks is the Man Who Only Had 11 Points And 5 Rebounds while Iguodala Nurses Himself Back To Health. There. Much more accurate. Deep leaguers should grab him, everyone else should uncomfortably leer at him threateningly. Here’s more fantasy basketball news at which you may also leer uncomfortably.
Antawn Jamison – Left in the first quarter with a leg contusion, then came back. Which turned out to be a bummer. 2/1/0, and a steal. He missed all but one of his seven shot attempts.
Tristan Thompson – 18.3/9.3 in three games entering yesterday’s shanking from the Suns. He went 8/7/5 yesterday, which sounds okay until I pull back the curtain and show you that the 5 were all personal fouls. Kazaam!
Grant Hill – Season-high 22 points. Also, Shannon Brown had 16 points in 24 minutes. Mistaking these performances for fantasy rough diamonds instead of opportunities born from playing a busted Cavs squad would be like assuming the quart of tequila you poured into your stomach will get you more attractive women instead of just making them appear more attractive.
Wilson Chandler – 12.3/5.8/3 in four games as a Nugg. Kinda what I expected.
Arron Afflalo – Missed yesterday’s game because of the wayward haymakers to Hayward he weighed on Friday.
Luke Ridnour – Tied his season-high 25 points. He’s also had 8+ assists in six of his last nine games.
Michael Beasley – Of the eight T’Wolves who saw more than 15 minutes of action last night, only one player failed to drain a three-pointer. Care to guess who? HINT: Beasley can’t look you in the eye.
Nene – Out because his back was spazzing out. I totally get it. We were all very excited about Mad Men‘s season 5 premiere. I spazzed out, too.
Kevin Seraphin – 15/11, 2 stl and a block, while Trevor Booker shot 1-for-7. The most surprising thing about this blurb is that it suggests the Wizards have not yet forfeited the remainder of their games. I had not expected that.
Avery Bradley – 23/3/1 in place of Ray Allen. I don’t even love owning Ray Allen, I especially don’t love owning Ray Allen’s replacement.
Kirk Hinrich – On a night where Zaza Pachulia grabbed 20 rebounds, Gordon Hayward played more than 57 minutes and four players fouled out of a quadruple-overtime game, Kirk Hinrich ended with 12/2/5 in 44 minutes. Kirk Hinrich is vanilla if half your taste buds are numb.
Gary Neal – Didn’t play Sunday. Won’t play tomorrow. You’re backup fantasy option is Justin Dentmon, a.k.a. not a realistic fantasy option, a.k.a. as far as your fantasy lineup goes, shouldn’t make a dent, mon. Manu and Danny Green are the biggest beneficiaries of The Neal Downâ„˘.
Boris Diaw – 2/7/2, with 3 steals last night in his best game as a Spur in three tries. Tim Duncan was out, which explains the bump in rebounds. Boris Diaw isn’t very good, which explains the lack of bump pretty much everywhere else. I’d leave him unless you’re desperate. but if you’re desperate, I’d still leave him and take some time to look at yourself in the mirror and identify the choices you’ve made that made you that way.
Serge Ibaka – He shot 8-of-10 from the field, grabbed 10 boards and scored the second-most points of his season (19). His lone block stopped this from being his best game of the season, but we all learned a valuable lesson: you can have Scoring Serge or Blocking Serge, but you may not have both Serges simultaneously.
Russell Westbrook – Turned the ball an equal number of times as the shots he hit (4). It could have been worse. He could have turned the ball over an equal number of times as the shots he took (16).
Charles Jenkins – With Stephen Curry and Nate Robinson all out, the Warriors’ YMCA squadron turned to Mr. Charles Jenkins to carry the load against the Trailblazers and he ended with 27/2/6. Take that all you other more talented players with name recognition! Time to roll out the Jenkinsanity t-shirts right away! I say what they hell. Grab and play out the string. Klay Thompson hurt his quad, Sugar Nate’s hamstring was barkin’ last night and Curry is made of glass. You get five games of this guy healthy – tops – before something terrible happens to his body.
Dorell Wright – 0-for-4 in 13 minutes. No sense in dropping him now, but bench him, you should. Chris Mullin, Rush, Jefferson, then Wright is the order I’d prefer to own my Warrior SFs at this point.
Jamal Crawford – Shot 1-for-10 in 28 minutes. So that was helpful.
Zach Randolph – Moved to the bench for the first time in four games and shot a higher percentage than in his previous five, while grabbing a dozen rebounds for the first time since December 28. He’s gettin’ there.