“Microphone checka, swingin’ sword lecture. Closing down the sector, supreme neck protector”

Welcome in all my people new and old to our midweek dissection of a player in the NBA landscape that has provided you with just enough evidence to “keep it moving” and slide on to a better option for the back nine of the season. As I said last week, no longer will this be a column where I suggest trade options as we are past that deadline in almost all leagues. Instead, I am suggesting you bench or drop this week’s underperformer and I will give you a name or two that I hope you can scoop up off your wire. It is imperative that you are not wasting a roster spot on a player who simply is not delivering the goodies. You will be better served to optimize each game moving forward and in order to do so, you must be strategic in who you play moving forward. Only the strong survive and I like to think of myself as your fantasy basketball personal trainer, providing you the diet and the workout needed to achieve the results you desire.

“I came to bring the pain hardcore from the brain. Let’s go inside my astral plane…”

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Beef Stew is running away with the starting 5 job in Detroit as the season winds down. Casey has been resting his vets in Plumlee and Ellington and as a result, Stewart has been feasting. 8 blocks in his last four games alone, to go with an average of 14.25 boards in those four outings. He’s going to make a huge difference in fantasy playoffs for those who foresaw the downfall of Plumlee.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In Brooklyn, the veterans always preferred DeAndre Jordan over him, even though he was better. Now in Cleveland, he’s forced into a timeshare with Andre Drummond and Larry Nance Jr. When will Allen get his due? According to leading armchair psychologists, it was all that pent-up frustration that led to this outburst. In contention for the line of the year so far.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We’re still pretty early on in the season, but it’s always a good time for some hot takes. What follows will be the totally legitimately definitive ranking of each NBA team when it comes to their fantasy production.

I took the top 100 players in total value and by per-game value, figured out how many were on each team, and ranked them. Very scientific stuff, I know. But no worries, there is a point. We’ll discuss what that means for each team, and for fantasy owners that may have the players mentioned, or have their eye on a player mentioned.

If a team has fantasy gold, does that mean they have great pace? Is it because they have a great record? Without further ado, here are your answers.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Memphis Grizzlies are young and on the upswing.  Last year they surprised all when they missed the 8th seed by just one win.  With a complete 15 man roster and an intact, custom-built young core, the Memphis Grizzlies are Grit-N-Grind 2.0 and rearing to go.

The Big 3 of Ja Morant, Jaren Jackson Jr., and Brandon Clarke bring above-the-rim intensity and classic Memphis two-way play back to the culture of the young Grizzlies.  These young cubs are hungry, motivated, and complement each other.  Rugged, yet up-tempo, I project this team to improve from the 34 wins last year to 40-42 this season. 

Expect increased roles for Dillon Brooks, De’Anthony Melton, and the new incoming draftees. With all the young Memphis core under contract, and no significant contributer allowed to walk, and, this team will have continuity going forward.

Please, blog, may I have some more?