Jock Itch Plays Out Of His Mind, Then Malone Proves He’s LITERALLY Out Of His Mind

December 13, 2016 | Fantasy Basketball Daily Notes | 128 Comments

Man, without fantasy, blowout NBA games featuring sub-.500 teams might be more insufferable to watch than Vanderpump Rules. I would know, because I was watching both last night – L.A. hipsters being the absolute worst on the TV with the wife, then professional NBA players being the absolute worst on the iPad!

But of course some guys played well in the Denver @ Dallas travesty – a game I know Slim watched as well due to his Nuggets-bias – including Nikola Jokic going for a career-high 27/11/4/0/1. Hit 10-12 FG, 7-7 FT, and after Salah Mejri looked like Hassan Whiteside with 3 blocks in the first few minutes, Jokic really helped anchor down better post play.

Side note on those first two buckets for Jokic – look at Dwight Powell struggling to play D on centers. Just sayin’ based on our Pod this morning! Anywho, this is obviously the right step forward for Jock Itch to get unleashed, and he should have no problem working his way up to 30+ MPG every night now, right? RIGHT?!

F@#% You, Malone. So that tells me both A) you don’t reward players for playing well, B) but you do punish players for playing poorly, C) actually that makes total sense! It’s why we keep seeing the rotations wildly different night-to-night with no consistency for good performers. It’s exploitative coaching 101 – you don’t reward your underlings for doing something good, only punish them if they disobey. This also tells me it’s yet another Jusuf Nurkic slam, who went 4/6/2/1/0 on 2-6 shooting with 3 TO, and got thrown around a little by Mejri. I think Slim chose the wrong time to be REL-biased by the Nuggets, shoulda stuck with his Jazz! Here’s what else happened last night in fantasy basketball action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

EMBIIIIIIIIIIID Vs. Whiteside In A Battle Of Length

November 22, 2016 | Fantasy Basketball Daily Notes | 108 Comments

by: JB Gilpin

In a matchup where they might’ve gone ahead and whipped em out to see who was bigger, this round went to Joel Embiid! The Sixers snapped the longest stretch of NBA games without back-to-back wins (108), by besting Hassan Whiteside and the Heat 101-94.

Look at Embiid flex those guns. So much man meat in the paint right there! Ok, I’m done with that, but it was awesome to see such prototypical, turn-back-the-clock big men face off against each other, with each being the current face of their respective franchise. Embiid had one of his best lines of the year, going 22/5/0/1/3 on 7-13 shooting, mainly highlighted by only one TO. He’s only had one game with 2 TO, and all the others 3+. On the flip side, Whiteside was a monster, going 32/13/0/0/2 on 13-19 shooting and hit 6 of his 8 FT. For the love of big man stats! Whiteside was 0-3 from the stripe in his previous game, so hopefully something has righted the ship there. Someone in the comments asked where Embiid might go in drafts next year, and I said 30-40 range. But at this rate, that might be too conservative! Let’s see him get through a full season first, and be sure none of that giant EMBIIIIIID gets hurt. I lied, I got one more in! Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy hoops action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Finals Week! …and the 7 Ahead

March 28, 2016 | Fantasy Basketball Daily Notes | 51 Comments

by: JB Gilpin

It’s finals week! Ugh, that makes it sound like I’m back in college…

“Oh no, I haven’t studied!” “…oh thank god!”

But you wanna know who DID study for all of his exams?! Harvard’s own Jeremy Lin. “Ohhohohohoho look at me, I’m from the Ivy League!” Linsanity is book-smart, plays in the NBA, and can get away with an Elmer’s Glue mohawk that makes that moron from Blink-182 jealous. On top of all that, he’s fantasy relevant as a H2H finals pickup! In RCL leagues with the “daily-tomorrow” setting, he’s going to be an early stream for me in the finale with a Tuesday matchup against the Sixers. Sure he’s cooled off a little bit his last two games, but 9/4/4/5/0 is still pretty saucy – his damage against the Bucks – which he put up last time out. In the finals, it’s all about streaming and anything that isn’t nailed down can go. It’s like Pirates of the Caribbean when they use their silverware in their cannons. Would it work in real life? Probably not. But in fantasy, dream away! This metaphor has gone wayyyyy downhill, if only I had an Ivy League edjamucation I might be more creative… Good luck in the Finals if you’re still in the playoffs, Razzball Nation! Here’s what went down this weekend in fantasy hoops action, plus the 7 Ahead for Week 22:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Making It RainbOlapio! …and the 7 Ahead

March 21, 2016 | Fantasy Basketball Daily Notes | 87 Comments

by: JB Gilpin

Welcome to the semis! Hopefully your week 1 matchup of the playoffs didn’t go as badly as most of mine… And with a mix of my awful bracket in the Razzball Bracket Challenge, who’s ready for baseball season?! Haha, I keed, I’m still alive in a few leagues and still have my-Heels-as-champ pick alive and well.

And just like the Hoosiers – one of virtually all the teams in the Sweet Sixteen I got wrong – Victor Oladipo went ham over the weekend, including living up the RainbOladipo nickname for 45/5/3/3/2 against the Cavs Friday night. Shot an unreal 16-22 FG including banging 6 treys. With a game like that, I would’ve expected the Magic to BEAT the Cavs! But then again, they’re coached by Scott Skiles… SKIIIIIIIILES! Oladipo kept it up last night for 21/6/3/0/2, giving him 7 straight games with blocks and multi-blocks in the last 4. Better shot blocker than Serge right now! In per-game, Oladipo is still only ranked 45th (42nd in total) according to BBMonster, so he’s still finishing right at my pre-season rank. If only this team was coached by someone else, I would be going Eric Bledsoe-nuts for this guy in my 16-17 ranks. Scott Skiles – ruining basketball one player at a time… Here’s what else went down over the weekend in fantasy hoops action, plus The 7 Ahead for week 20 and the semi-finals of standard league H2H playoffs:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Robo-Butler …and the 7 Ahead

March 7, 2016 | Fantasy Basketball Daily Notes | 73 Comments

by: JB Gilpin

Do-you-want-s’more?

That was the last time I saw a Butler as mechanical as Jimmy Butler… “He’s more machine now, than man!” Well, that was more a bartender, but ya know… Godzilla returned from a pretty scary knee injury faster than I thought, going 24/11/6/1/0 in 34 minutes Saturday night exactly a month after “straining” his knee. I’m sorry, when I hear nonspecificity with a knee injury, it’s scarier to me than realizing Deebo from Friday would lead our presidential candidates right now. “WHY THE HELL IS IT EATING ALL THE SATELLITES!?” Future came sooner than we thought on that one… Focus, JB! Aziz, light! Godzilla did have some warts with the 5 TO and fouling out (actually the first time he’s fouled out in his career!), but when you’re a lizard-beast born from nuclear winter, it’s tough to have a blemish free outing! I preached caution in trying to buy Buckets low, so hopefully you were bolder than me. More daring. Basically let’s hope you treated this like a giant Dorito, while I was a tasteless vegan vegetable straw. Here’s what else went down over the weekend in fantasy hoops action, plus The 7 Ahead for week 19 (last week of the regular season!!!!):

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Mmmmmmmm Turner …and the 7 Ahead

January 18, 2016 | Fantasy Basketball Daily Notes | 86 Comments

by: JB Gilpin

Mmmmmm soup… I mean noodle soup! I mean soup! COME ON!

After a long existence in the kitchen cabinet, Myles Turner finally got a chance to be mmmm, mmmm good going 25/7/2/1/2 on 11-13 shooting. He even had a third block called a goaltend with a verrrrry late whistle late in the game. Just like a fine batch of cream of broccoli, it just needed some time to age! I was a well-documented Turner-crazed ranker, but I think most would agree he’s been awesome when he’s on the court. Some nagging knee soreness limited his minutes early before breaking his thumb, but we finally got to see the potential I was so crazy for last night. Now, Ian Mmmmmmahinmmmmmmi was out with a sore heel which doesn’t sound too serious, so the minutes certainly aren’t assured. Turner’s 29 minutes were off the bench, with Vogel starting the inferior SC Apple Jordan Hill at the 5. Even with the depth the Pacers have at C, I gotta think this game has awarded Turner more consistent run. And if you aren’t sold yet, his per-36s are 17.1/8.9 with 2.2 BLK shooting 55% from the field (even though he’s a jump shooter). I was fortunate enough to add him in all 4 of my RCLs, so he’s likely out there in a lot of 12ers – I’d scoop him up as I think he’s the creamed corn of the crop of waiver bigs! Here’s what else went down over the weekend in fantasy hoops action, and The 7 Ahead for week 13:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

RazzWired: The Best Day of the Year!

December 24, 2015 | Fantasy Basketball Daily Notes | 38 Comments

by: Adam

Happy Festivus everyone! The Aluminum pole is shining in the warm winter sun, and it is officially time to air grievances. There is definitely a lot to talk about, people! First of all, I have problems with many coaches so far this season.

Scott Skiles is a perennial member of this list, and his infuriating rotations will keep him on this list for years to come!
Recently, Fred Hoiberg has managed to move way up the list. With the recent set of wacky rotations, the playing time of Portis, and the fact that Mirotic has playing time still, he certainly has lost my respect, and the respect of his own team.
There are a few more names I could choose from, but a list of coaching grievances would not be complete without mentioning Jason Kidd. I certainly don’t need to spell out why he is mentioned here.

Next up, I also has a major problem with the eyelid of Terrence Jones, the attitude of Markief Morris, and the fact that Rondo is good this year.

With that out of the way, I’d just like to say that I’m looking forward to the Christmas day slate of games! Especially the game where the Cavaliers are going to smash Curry’s hopes and dreams.

Here are my waiver gifts to you!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Daily Notes > School

December 22, 2015 | Fantasy Basketball Daily Notes | 15 Comments

by: charlie

What’s up Razzballers!? After a week of final exams, it’s an understatement to say I’m excited to be back this week. Between impossible questions, countless hours in the library, and spending way too much time calculating my GPA instead of studying, fantasy basketball was my beacon of hope, the light at the end of the preverbal tunnel, and ultimate study break. (Also I’m an engineering major. We hate our lives, so we need hobbies to make our daily existence palatable).

While it certainly helps that both my fantasy football teams have been eliminated from their respective playoff matchups (I HATE DAVID JOHNSON WITH A PASSION), spending a night watching hoops never sounded so great.

With a nine-game slate of basketball last night, let’s discuss the standout performance:

DeMarcus Cousins – Against a depleted Washington frontcourt, Cousins filled up the box score posting 22 points, 8 rebounds, 3 assists, 1 block, and 3 steals while going 1-3 from deep. While his shooting percentage leaves a little more to be desired, Cousins has been playing well while adjusting his game to playing as the starting center. Even with Cousins opening up about his concerns in adjusting to his new role, the big man has managed to continue to provide top tier value while expanding his range to the 3-point line.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Klay Thompson – JB’s True American Hero

December 9, 2015 | Fantasy Basketball Daily Notes | 102 Comments

by: JB Gilpin

So I know what you’re thinking – where is Matty this morning?! He’s been awesome! Well, I’m here today to fill in while Matty takes a Canadian spa day. What happens is you go to this facility and everything is made of poutines. All you can eat is poutines, all the liquid you intake is gravy, the spa pillows are made of cheese curd… Wait, why am I making fun of this, that sounds like the best day of my life! Matty – true Canadian hero.

But back here in The Colonies, Klay Thompson has become MY true AMERICAN hero! Going 13-21 from the field including 10-16 from deep, Thompson had a monster breakout going 39/7/6/0/1 against the Pacers, leading the Warriors to 23-0. And speaking of “and-0s”, look at JB taking the 1-0 lead on the 30-point challenge board! Looking like another season where I’m going to trounce Slim in the 30-pt challenge. It’s not official yet, but I’ve heard mumblings that the IQ test will soon be phased out for the 30-pt challenge as the most accurate test for intelligence… Anyway, it’s funny how perception and time can change a player’s analysis. I went from slamming Thompson for being a ThrAGNOF, to finally buying in, and then defending his cold start suggesting making buy low offers. All the sudden after last night, all he’s missing is 3.5 Pts and half a steal from having nearly identical stats from 14-15. Of course as all of this unfolded last night, it ended with a monster cliffhanger after Klay got a kankle and looked like he was in some serious pain on the bench. X-rays were negative, and luckily Klay says it’s not too bad and should be back in a few days. Whew! Let’s hope this doesn’t slow down his reacharound! I mean turnaround! Here’s what else happened last night in fantasy basketball action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’m A Buyer For Zeller …and the 7 Ahead

December 7, 2015 | Fantasy Basketball Daily Notes | 121 Comments

by: JB Gilpin

On a weekend where elite guys did elite things – we got served more 40-burgers than a McDonalds – I’m going to open this Monday morning a little further down the bunnyhole. It may be “rabbit” hole, but it sounded dirtier my way…

When Al Jefferson went down with his calf strain (he’s still out at least another 1-2 weeks), I clowned the Hornets for their “three-headed” monster for C minutes. I joked it was a nice way of saying none were any good. Kinda like saying the “three-headed monster” of good M. Night Shyamalan movies. Especially Frank the Stank, as Michael Jordan’s never-ending conquest of building an NCAA dream team continues to keep the Charlotte franchise in the awful-to-mediocre range. At least Spencer Hawes looks OK out there, putting up decent lines in 20+ minutes the past two Hornets games. But watching the Hornets against the Bulls on Saturday – I was mad impressed by Cody Zeller. Took the lion’s share of PT playing 32 minutes, and went 17/8/2/1/1 on 6-10 FG (5-7 FT) with no TO. And it wasn’t a cupcake matchup either against Pau Gasol. Although Gasol wouldn’t get that joke, let’s say “it wasn’t a flan matchup.” Just at the eye level, he was cutting to the basket with great speed, finished strong at the rim with a few dunks, and took jumpers confidently. I think the Hornets wanted someone to step up with Big Al down, and they’ve found their guy. Now this would only be a medium-term pickup in 12ers, plus the schedule is going to be a crazy test. Hornets get DET, MIA then @MEM the next three, so Zeller is going to have to D up Andre Drummond, Hassan Whiteside, then Marc Gasol. Eesh. At least the Gasol one is more his player-type… And it’s not like Hawes or Frank Kaminsky is going to play any better against those beasts… So if you’re looking for a little help up front without the big blocks upside, Zeller is worth a look. Here’s what else went down over the weekend in fantasy hoops action, including The 7 Ahead for week 7:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Ups And Downs Of Going To Sleep Early And Missing Late-Night Sports

December 4, 2015 | Fantasy Basketball Daily Notes | 218 Comments

by: JB Gilpin

So after working overnights, it’s a big change working standard hours and doing Razzball in the wee-hours of the morning. Instead of following sports all night, you wake up to them! Which in some cases is nice; others, infuriating. At least I don’t have to go to sleep mad!

On the annoying end, in fantasy football I’m going into a must-win game against an Aaron Rodgers owner. Plus I recommended a friend play Kyle Rudolph over Richard Rodgers. How annoying was that 70 yard hail mary?!?!?! Ahhhhh! Luckily I don’t care as much about fantasy football, since it’s 100% luck. We don’t play that ish here at basketball, we at fantasy hoops play a game of skill! And very few are as skilled as Kawhi Leonard, who went 27/8/3/2/1 to continue his dominant season. On top of his normal multi-cat, he was mad hot hitting 9-13 from the field including a nuts 7-9 3PTM. Instead of texting my buddy Kap all night about how giddy it made me, I wake up to just the one text of “Kawhi banged 7 threes! How much of a boner did you get?” The answer is, I constantly wake up during the night half mast! Kawhi’s been a wet dream all season… Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy hoops action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Kobe Bryant Farewell Tour

December 3, 2015 | Fantasy Basketball Daily Notes | 28 Comments

by: Peter Kap

The Kobe Bryant farewell tour has already begun. After announcing that he would be retiring this past weekend, teams will start giving him the Derek Jeter treatment as fans and teams say goodbye to the legend.

There was a lot of fanfare when Bryant returned to Philadelphia on Tuesday night, where his basketball journey began. The hype was there and despite a strong start, the Lakers lost, giving the 76ers their first win of the season. Bryant shot 7-26 from the field, including 4-17 from downtown. Definitely not the homecoming that everyone was expecting.

On Wednesday, Bryant played his last game at the Verizon Center and boy did he leave those in attendance with a memorable performance. Fresh off his poor shooting Tuesday, Bryant shot 10-24 from the field and 4-11 from downtown. Not vintage Kobe, but a marked improvement. More importantly, 12 of his season-high 31 points came in the fourth quarter, as the Lakers defeated the Wizards.

Now this was definitely one of his best games of the season. Maybe with the Lakers’ season over and having already announced his retirement, Kobe will have one less thing on his mind and start to play better. I mean he can’t shoot any worse, right? I wouldn’t necessarily be buying low, but I’d hold onto him and pick him up in any leagues where impatient owners have dropped him. You never know, maybe he closes out his last season healthy and on a tear, a la Mariano Rivera (and that wasn’t an ACL joke).

Please, blog, may I have some more?