And so I face, the final curtain.  My friends,  it’s been a great season, but unfortunately, this will be the last RazzWired article of the season.  I know this is a painful realization for my three devoted readers, but I have confidence that you three can find some other content or substance to fill the massive hole in your lives.  That all being said, I shall try to leave you with a few players, in case you are among the few players still battling in the championship round.  Or, if you’re the asshole that still picks up players, so that the top teams can’t get them…

Anyway!

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As I begin to write this recap, the Portland – Poppycock game has yet to begin, but frankly, NBA basketball was quite bad tonight/tomorrow… The March Madness games were fantastic, but most of the NBA teams have either locked up their spots, or cashed it in for the season.  Given that, I’ll point out that DeMar DeRozan had 40 tonight, but the game wasn’t particularly great, and the Raptors won 101-84. That being said, let’s dive into the mediocre slate:

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… A Long Ass post trade deadline analysis (couldn’t come up with a word that rhymes with automobiles). I’ll dive deep into a couple of trades (Boogie and Nerlens Noel). I’ll also cover the much hyped but somewhat boring (thanks to Boston, Indiana & Chicago!) trade deadline that has come and gone.

Oh and by the way, if you’d rather just listen to an analysis instead of read and see some copy/pasted stats from NBA.COM, just go ahead and listen to JB’s podcast.

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Razzball Nation!  The Trade Deadline is here!  Fantasy Basketball’s most interesting day south of the year change has arrived, and fantasy owners have itchy trigger fingers on their wires, ready to find that newly minted asset after a deal.  Forge me some upside, fantasy gods!  Wait, wait, in no way did I mean to compare NBA GMs to gods…  Vlade Divac is like, “that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me!”

I’m going to try and keep this post updating throughout the trades up through the 3:00 PM EST deadline, then Slim and I will record the Pod and post a little later tonight.  Be sure and keep up with the comments, and break news if you see a deal done before I or another commenter!  Let’s throw around the last-minute rumors, and turn this into a Trade Deadline hub!  Here’s the trades that have gone down so far (not including the Cousins one, which I do think will end up being the biggest deal of the “Trade Deadline” period though…), plus updates throughout the morning and afternoon:

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I’m all for switching it up and trying something new to win. And while I think Hack-a-Shaq can work in the right situations, the Rockets took Hack-a-Whoever way too far. The Rockets fouled Andre Drummond repeatedly, giving him 36 free throws! At one point, K.J. McDaniels intentionally fouled Drummond 5 times in 9 seconds! (McDaniels finished the game with a very Jan Vesely-ish line of 1 minute, 5 fouls).

Drummond made only 13 of his 36 free throws, but it didn’t matter, as the Pistons still defeated the Rockets by 9. The 23 missed free throws was an NBA record for the most missed free throws in a game.

So you’re telling me the intentional fouling was effective in limiting the Pistons’ possessions, but somehow the Rockets still lost? How? The Rockets are definitely one of the biggest disappointments of the season and really need to turn it around if they’re going to make a splash in the playoffs.

While Drummond owners will be screwed in FT%, he still managed to post 17/11 with 1 steal and 1 block. Now onto the other highlights from Wednesday night’s games:

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Summer is here!  And what else do you think about during summer than campy dancing shark mascots?  Or Sharks trying to dance campy?  Or campy shark movies!?  “Tequila’s on you guys, and I’m super thirsty!”  Maybe that should be the tagline for my new donate button…

While it’s way too friggin’ hot to do anything constructive outside, we get to go the great indoors to get our first look at NBA rookies in Summer League!  And there’s almost always one surpriser, one Shyamalan twist…  Except, well, in a good way.  Myles Turner already had the ingredients to be a fantasy beast heading into the draft (which we mentioned in our mock a month earlier), then he landed in one of the most ideal situations to a team needing a big man contributor right away.  On top of his already fantasy-friendly skill set, Turner murdered it in summer ball for a 18.7/8.3/0/0.7/4.3 slash line over three games, hitting 8-10 from the stripe and 2-3 treys.  Ibaka-lite might actually be more fitting than I jokingly quipped!  Even Larry Bird has chimed in saying Turner is better than they thought, and his only real competition for minutes is Jordan Hill.  While Turner did have an 8 foul game in there (it’s comical it takes 10 to foul out), it’s about the only knock on a guy who took 11+ shots every game and made at least half of them every time, averaging over 60% from the field.  Plus only 3 total TO.  It’s easy to dismiss popcorn stats like that in Summer League, but the opportunity is there and I think he might be the #1 rookie big off the draft board in 9-cat leagues, as crazy as that sounds.  If Jahlil could just make an effin’ FT!  Where’s a good FT coach like Andris Biedrins when you need them…  Here’s what else went down through Summer League action, which wrapped up over the weekend:

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Sometimes you’re the last guy to the shindig. Sober while everyone’s not, trying to crack topical jokes that stopped being funny some time ago. I know this role very well, gentle reader, very well indeed. Some socialites might argue that I have made a veritable career out of this process, that I take the Borat “very nice, I like” and “not” jokes well past their expiry, or that I’m trying to keep the “wasssssaaaaaaaap” phenomenon alive. It’s the curse of the fella who thinks himself more amusing than he likely is. Which brings me to the trade deadline: of course it falls on a thursday, so I have to wait a week to talk about the busiest deadline ever, right about the time that the trades are receding in every fantasy GM’s mind. Well, prepare yourself for all the trendy topics to be kickstarted once again, fella. I’m giving you the fantasy equivalent of clear pepsi, delivered in some zoomba pants while dancing the macarena, because I am not letting this one go, people. On the plus side, maybe the week will give some perspective on how cats are fitting in, in their new environments. Very likely not, but we can always hope, can’t we? So without further ado…

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[We’ve got the Trade Deadline Podcast up!  Slim and I react to all this hooblah as this post continues to be updated – you can find the Pod the post below this one as well as that link.]

Razzball Nation!

The Trade Deadline is nigh, which is to say, soon.  Can I trade the start of this open with a different one…?  “Did you hear the one about how the Hawks got nothing for the broke ass of Josh Smith last trade deadline?!”  Imagine the Hawks with a lottery pick as well…  I guess as fortune-tellers, they knew they didn’t need anything for Smoove!

The 2015 NBA Trade Deadline will pass at 3:00 PM EST, and up until the closing moments, I’ll be updating this post as each trade moves across my virtual news desk.  Fantasy spins galore!  That’s the younger sister of Pussy Galore…  So be sure to constantly ping that refresh like Goldfinger on Kitco!  Here’s what’s gone down so far:

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Contrary to what JB has written, we Canadians watch the Superbowl. We love it, and we do everything you do: prop bets, stupid gorging on simple foods, excessive drinking, the whole nine yards (which, ironically, is all you need to get a first down in the Canadian Football League). Even if we were luke warm on the game up here, no other sporting event will go up against it, so unless you wanna watch reruns of the World Poker Tournament, you’re dialed in to the Superbowl. So I saw what you saw. And what can we take away from Sunday’s big game, hmmmm? The KISS principle, which is: Keep It Simple, Stupid! It works in virtually every facet of one’s life, but in relation to fantasy basketball, it means don’t get all “Inception” in your approach to a trade, or acquisition, or conversely, don’t overvalue, or hold a cat too long because of what you think will happen 6 weeks form now, you dig?  There are some running principles we need to adhere to to have the best chance of success, and the main one I focus on in this here article is Buy Low, Sell High.  BLSH. I’m going to try and get that one to catch on. So, with out further ado, BLSHers, lets take a look at who we can BLSH:

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Hard to believe Steve Carell, half of The Ambiguosuly Gay Duo, is now an Oscar nominated actor in Foxcatcher.  That kind of ascension is bigger than a promotion from the D-League and turning into a fantasy superstar like the Hassanity!  I would say it’s about as miraculous as Brad Stevens finally getting some sense slapped into him…

We figured it would happen at some point, but the Marcus Smart reign as the Celtics starting PG appears to have begun.  Smart actually led the C’s in minutes with 37 in a 13/4/3/2/0 line.  It’s nothing too flashy, but with the role finally bequeathed unto Smart we can finally stop calling Stevens a queef.  Well, maybe not, because the Celtics coaching staff continues to mismanage Smart’s role, relegating him into a 3-point camping PG.  It’d be like trying to turn Robin Lopez into a good player!  Doesn’t make any good basketball logic…  Smart shot 3-9 last night, with 2-7 being treys.  A fantastic slasher at OK State, Stevens continually hammers this square peg into a round hole.  They had the same problem when they tried to make the R-rated version of the Lego movie!  Everything was not awesome…  If Smart is still available in your 12er, now is the time to go ahead and hop on board.  The FG% might not be awesome either, but I think he’ll fall into enough dimes and swipe enough to be usable.  Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy hoops action:

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