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After Julius Randle hit one of the more ridiculous game-winning threes last night to push the Knickerbockers past the Heat, I came up with the above headline. The only problem: I’ve never actually had an Orange Julius – which may be a sin in some cultural circles. Without a frame of reference to consider how Randle may compare the American quencher, I turned to my wife for help:

“It’s like better than an icy.” “I thought it was a smoothy. So it’s like an icy?” “No it’s not an icy.” “So what is it?” “It’s hard to describe. It’s indescribable. It’s like magic.” “So it’s like a mix between an icy and a smoothy?” “No. You’re obviously not getting it. Who are you trying to compare it to?” “It doesn’t matter, I just haven’t had one so just want a description to see if there’s any comparison.” “The most delicious thing I’ve put in my mouth.”

And that was the end of that conversation. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You read that right. Valentine’s Day is an objectively stupid holiday, and after 18 years of marriage the wife and I were good with a nice cup of coffee and takeout for the day. Then I watched the Bucks vs. Celtics game on TNT, and took a huge gamble at that! It paid off though, but please honor my sacrifice for your benefit and click on this article multiple times. I took the huge risk for all of you.

Please, blog, may I have some more?