If your fantasy team had the misfortune of facing James Harden this week, my condolences. Thoughts and prayers go out to you and you family. You ran into the buzzsaw. I would know, I was one of them. Last night Harden went 8-48-8-6-4-1-6 on 14-of-30 shooting and 12-of-15 from the line in his worst scoring performance of the week. In three games this past week, he went 19-163-27-14-7-3-15. To be fair, there were two overtime games so his numbers got a slight boost, but this is probably the greatest three-game scoring performance in recent memory. RIP to my fantasy team. On a lighter note, here’s what else went down in the NBA last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Everyone has their favorite fast-food burger and no one can agree on which one is best. Here on the East Coast, the “Big Three” are McDonalds, Wendy’s, and Burger King. Everyone has their preference. None of them are the best burger you’ll ever have, but when at 1 AM there are limited options. James Borrego had limited options last night with Cody Zeller out and he decided to give Bismack Biyombo the start to try and match up with Nikola Jokic. It didn’t really work out, but he ended up getting 30 minutes and putting up a decent line going 16-12-0-2-2-2 on 7-of-10 shooting and 2-for-3 FTs. Who knows if he’ll continue to get minutes, but Zeller is slated to miss at least four weeks so he could be worth a speculative add. Side note: Borrego is Lamb in Spanish. Jeremy Lamb plays for the Hornets, but was out last night. Illuminati confirmed. Here’s what else went down in the NBA last night:

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The Division of the Up and Comers
The Atlantic Division consists of up-and-coming teams, with the Toronto Raptors at the top of the league in wins, yet they are still learning how to incorporate Kawhi Leonard into their mix.  The Sixers are also integrating a new player in Jimmy Butler.  Boston struggled with offensive effectiveness early on, but they have started to figure things out, including an overtime thriller on Christmas against the 76ers.   The Nets have done well, winning nine of their last 10 games, a streak of success not seen in Brooklyn in many a day.  The Knicks, though, are going in the opposite direction, as they have lost nine of their last 10, but are still considered in the up and coming conversation because they have a stable of young players gaining valuable experience while their Latvian superstar, Kristaps Porzingis, mends.

Many feel the NBA season really doesn’t start until Christmas, as teams have now played about a third of the season with the strengths and weaknesses of each being exposed.  In addition, players are available as trade targets and teams that look to be lottery participants will begin to look toward the future and acquire draft assets. 

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Oh Washington. Like the great Linkin Park song, you tried so hard and got so far (not that far), but in the end it doesn’t even matter.  The John Wall/Bradley Beal combo looks so good on paper, but they never really got the complementary pieces to make it work. Ownership tried to cobble together something resembling a good team, but they could only get second rate players, afterthoughts, and Dwight Howard. I feel for teams like them. You know they’re not going to win a championship, but they’re still pretty good. The timing was all wrong. A bunch of players who were great at certain times in their lives, just couldn’t all be great at once. Ok, now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, John Wall was out for the Wizards and Bradley Beal went 4-40-11-15-0-1-8 on 17-of-33 shooting and 2-of-2 FTs in a mind-boggling 54 minutes of triple-overtime glory. He could be headed to the Lakers or elsewhere, and no one on Washington is really safe from being traded, so for now, Wizards fans are just going to have to enjoy what they have. Pretty much what they’ve been doing for their team’s entire existence… Hopefully, you had some players on the Suns or the Wizards.

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Buffalo Wild Wings has a chart for the spiciness of the sauces in their menu: smilin’, sizzlin’, and screamin’. An Indonesian restaurant I saw on the internet had a chart of spiciness on the wall: 1 pepper, 2 peppers, 3 peppers, 4 peppers, and 5 peppers. The greatest spiciness chart, though, comes from my Korean brethren:

  1. Don’t worry
  2. I’m OK
  3. So So
  4. Hot
  5. Too hot
  6. Oh my god
  7. F**k

Last night, Steph Curry was at 8.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
42 9 7 1 0 2 9/14 11/20 11/12

Played 34 minutes last night. After missing 11 games due to injury, Curry has played 34, 29, and 37 minutes in the three games since. With the nine threeecolas, that brings his total for the season to 80, which places him second in the league behind James Harden’s 83. Curry has played five fewer games!!! It’s only been 15 games, but Curry is the #2 player for fantasy om a per-game basis. The 30.2 points, 5.1 rebounds, 5.7 assists, and 1.1 steals per game are ridiculous. The 93% from the free throw line on 4.8 attempts is fantastic. The 51% from the field when he attempts 10.4 threeecola attempts a game is ludicrous. But the most laughable stat for Curry is the 5.3 threeecolas he makes per game. That’s almost more than the rebounds and assists per game. Harden is second with 4.2. Third place? Lauri Markkanen with 3.5. Way past F**k, right?

Here’s what else I saw last night:

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There was a time when the streets were flooded with bookstores: B. Dalton, Borders, Coles, Crown Books, and Encore Books. Then the internet came along and changed the whole paradigm. No longer did people have to get off their asses to buy books. Instead, a click here and a click there and…poof…like magic, the book would appear at their door. As a result, brick-and-mortar locations became obsolete and the aforementioned stores went kaput. But one company, Barnes & Noble, was able to rise from the carnage and remain relevant. While there was no need to have a bookstore at every corner, some people still enjoyed that walk-in experience. As a result, Barnes & Noble has remained and continues to serve the community. Which brings me to Harrison Barnes. A five-star recruit and Mr. Basketball USA in high school, All-Conference and All-American in college (North Carolina), and All-Rookie in the NBA, business was booming in the Barnes household. But then he got scared of his own shadow during the NBA playoffs (2015) , in a contract year no less, and kaput. No more Golden State. Mark Cuban, though, saw value and paid $94 million over four years to acquire his services. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ During his time in Dallas, Barnes has averaged 18.9 points, 5.4 rebounds, 1.7 assists, 0.7 steals, 1.4 threeecolas, and 0.2 blocks. Not great, but serviceable. Is that worth $94 million? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But every once in a while, Barnes does deliver:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
30 9 1 0 1 3 3/9 11/28 5/5

Over the past six games, Barnes has been a top 60 player, but he’s more like a top 100 player. Since 2014, he’s finished as the 109th, 119th, 79th, and 90th player. Barnes doesn’t provide much of a ceiling but the floor is pretty high, as he shoots a ton of shots. Not everyone likes bookstores, but they do provide a function for some. That’s the best way to describe Harrison Barnes for fantasy.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In the 1980s, WrestleMania was the merde. Pardon my French. They were spectacles of extraordinary frenzy. Rabid fans would pack 90,000 strong into stadiums to watch freakishly athletic men do freakishly mind-numbing things. And there in lies the crux of everything: the men. For all the Barnum and Bailey antics that Vince McMahon could project, without those freakishly athletic men doing freakisly mind-numbing things, he’d have to take off three or four zeros from that 90,000 figure. As Coach SamWinters from The Program so eloquently stated, “When’s the last time 80,0000 people showed up to watch a kid do a damn chemistry experiment?” The same concept applies to the NBA. Teams wouldn’t be worth billions of dollars without the freakishly athletic men doing freakishly mind-numbing things. One of the biggest stars in the NBA is Russell Westbrook and last night he went HAM.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
23 19 15 2 0 3 2/5 10/17 1/2

By messing around last night, Westbrook moved into a tie for third place with Jason Kidd for the most triple-dubs all-time. Oscar Robertson had 181, Magic Johnson 138, and Westbrook and Kidd are both at 107. That in of itself is impressive, but he wasn’t far away from a 20/20/20 game, which got me thinking….has anyone ever attained the double-triple-dub? Wilt Chamberlain in 1968 with 22 points, 25 rebounds, and 21 assists. Ha! That is so sick. Anyways, hope you enjoyed RussellMania last night.

Beep. Boop. Bop. The Stocktonator must love wrestling because it had Westbrook as it’s #4 player last night.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Taking a different approach than my norm, I would like to dedicate the usual introduction of the article to the Washington Wizards. Boy, has it been an interesting season in the nation’s capital. After an atrocious start to the season, John Wall and Bradley Beal called out their teammates (heavily implying Otto Porter Jr.) for caring only about the number of shot attempts. Meanwhile, their combined shots attempted from the field this season were 34.6. Hmmmmm.

Furthermore, Scott Brooks continues to frustrate with his rotations, Dwight Howard is usually on the sidelines, Beal called out management, and Wall dropped the F bomb on his coach in last week’s practice. So, what is the next logical step? But of course, to come from 20 points behind in last night’s game for a win against the Clippers in LA. I have a feeling that one of Wall, Beal, or Porter is going to be traded away sooner than later. It’s going to be a very interesting season in Washington.

Taking a look at last week’s suggestions, both Mike Muscala and Rondae Hollis-Jefferson are starting to see more opportunities and Jeff Teague had one awful and two good games, but his value will increase with Jimmy Butler in Philadelphia. As for the sell suggestions, both Taj Gibson and Tyreke Evans have done nothing to warrant ownership in standard leagues and Evans particularly was uninspiring with Oladipo missing two games due to injury.

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Kevin Durant is a polarizing player, due to his off-the-court decisions and shenanigans. There was the decision back in 2016 to join the Golden State Warriors that put many into a tizzy. I was fine with his decision, but I understand why people had issues with it. After being Mr. Nice Guy in OKC, Durant took on a blase, laissez-faire attitude. Some appreciated the rawness, while others wanted a more calculated, LeBron-esque persona. There was the burner account incident. Lame, but I kind of get it, as it’s tough for any celebrity to truly speak their mind. KD just be messing around. What can’t be questioned, though, is his production on the court. Over the past four years, Durant has finished as the 3rd, 1st, 2nd, and 5th player for fantasy according to Basketball Monster. Currently, he’s 3rd as he’s posting 27.4 points, 7.4 rebounds, 6.8 assists, 0.9 steals, 0.8 blocks, and 1.5 threeecolas. He’s shooting 54% from the field and 91% from the line. So good. Anyways, last night he truly messed around:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
33 11 10 1 2 4 2/4 10/24 11/13

That was his 11th career triple-dub. A surprisingly low number, but he wasn’t always the most willing passer early in his career. With Steph Curry expected to miss a few more games, KD should continue messing around. Shoot, even when Curry returns, KD should continue messing around because that’s what he does.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?