This is Terry Rozier’s fifth season in the NBA. These are the field goal percentage numbers from the prior four seasons: 38%, 39%, 36%, and 27% his rookie year. No wonder he was nicknamed Scary Terry. Those are some awful numbers that give me the heebie jeebies. I won’t be able to sleep for a week, as I hear the echoes of bricks clanging off the rim in my sleep. I once watched Event Horizon on shrooms. That pales in comparison to the dread I have of sleeping now from Scary Terry. With that said, entering this season, we all knew what drafting Rozier entailed, but the brave were willing to overlook the nightmares for counting stats galore, as he would be the alpha in Charlotte with Kemba Walker gone. Last night, those with the iron balls were rewarded, as Rozier wasn’t scary, he was legendary. Beep. Boop. Bop. You know what’s always legendary? The Stocktonator.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
40 4 3 1 0 1 8/13 15/26 2/3

A career-high! Granted, the opposition was the no-defense-playing Atlanta Hawks, and the game went to not one, but two overtimes, but whatever. A 40-burger is a 40-burger no matter how it’s cooked. There have been brutal stretches for Rozier this season, which have put many of his owners on tilt, just itching to drop him, but he’s a top 80 player for fantasy on the season! The field goal percentage is 41%. A terrible number for most, but heavenly for Rozier. The usage has been only 23, as Devonte’ Graham came out of nowhere this season, but Rozier has provided points, tres, boards, dimes, and steals with low turnovers and excellent free throw percentage.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

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I love rolling them dice in Vegas. There is no better game than craps……when there’s a hot shooter. Everyone is laughing, shouting, high-fiving, and having an awesome time. If you’re the hot shooter, then you are freaking Nick Papagiorgio! The ladies wanna sleep with you and the men? They wanna sleep with you too. Unfortunately, there’s a reason why Vegas is adorned with bling and has lights shining from corner to corner. 7 out!!!! But it’s okay, because the memory of those hot runs are seared into our memories, which keeps us returning back to the tables, time and time again. Well, that is the Tim Hardaway Jr. experience. He shoots. He mostly craps out, but every once in a while, he will get hot, which keeps us coming back for more and more. Beep. Boop. Bop. You know what never craps out and is always hot? The Stocktonator. Last night, he was even hitting the Hardaway 6 bets…over and over again.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
33 3 3 1 0 0 5/10 12/18 4/5

On the season, THJ is a top 150 player, as he’s shooting 43% from the field and doesn’t contribute much outside of points and tres. Buuuuuuuuuuuuut…….he gets hot from time to time and keeps shooting…then making…then shooting….then making….then shooting….then making. There’s high-fiving, laughing, screams of joy, and overall adoration. Just remember that the good times never last. As long as you know that he will crap out soon, and probably more often than you want to believe, then you will be fine.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

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The foundation of a house is underrated. When guests come over, they never utter, “Oh my goodness! The foundation is absolutely amazing! How much did you pay for it?” Log onto Zillow.com and the description is never, “Exquisite colonial-style home with a foundation to die for.” It’s always the kitchen, the bedrooms, bathrooms, square footage, garage, even the pool that get all the love. The pool! The place where little kids go to urinate in. I’m here to give the foundation its proper due. Without the foundation, the house would blow away when the big, bad wolf huffs and puffs. Without the foundation, that minor earthquake won’t be so minor. Without the foundation, there is no kitchen, bedrooms, bathrooms, square footage, bay windows, etc. So it only makes sense that Danuel House provides a solid foundation for fantasy.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
22 9 1 3 1 0 6/11 8/13 0

A team cannot consist of all superstars. Specialists and role players fill out the rosters of many fantasy squads, so a player who contributes in all the categories provides? Yes, a solid foundation. Beep. Boop. Bop. You know what always provides a solid foundation? The Stocktonator. On the season, he’s a top 100 player, but over the past eight games, he’s been top 30. House has averaged 32.3 minutes, 12 points, 2.6 tres, 6.6 boards, 1.4 dimes, 1.8 steals, and 0.8 blocks. The field goal percentage has been 42% on 9.8 attempts while the free throw shooting has been excellent at 81% on only 1.4 attempts. Solid, solid foundation for this House.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

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Kendrick Nunn went undrafted in the 2018 NBA Draft, despite leading the NCAA Division I in three-point shooting with 4.47 per game and finishing second to Trae Young in scoring with 25.9 points per contest. He played his rookie season with the Warriors G-League affiliate, the Santa Cruz Warriors, and averaged 19.3 points in 29 minutes. In the offseason, the Miami Heat took a chance on him and were shown the Power of Nunn. In a preseason game against the Rockets, Nunn dropped a 40-burger. As a result, he entered the starting lineup, which he hasn’t relinquished in 40 straight games. Now, despite starting every game, it’s been a rollercoaster in terms of production. He got out of the gates on fire, then cooled off, then picked it up, then plateaued for a bit. Well, last night, he reminded us of what the Power of Nunn looks like.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
33 3 4 2 0 2 5/7 13/18 2/2

Nunn is averaging a little over 28 minutes per contest. The usage rate is in a healthy range of 23-25 and he’s jacking up 13 shots per game. He will provide a handful of boards and dimes with the occasional steal, but he’s primarily a points and tres player. Nunn is obviously not going to shoot 72% every game. On the season, he’s converting 45% of his shots. Not bad. The turnover rate is miniscule at 1.8, so that should endear him to the coaches, which provides a relatively high floor for fantasy. If you ain’t on the court, then you ain’t good for us. Beep. Boop. Bop. You know what never leaves the court? The Stocktonator. Nunn is currently a top 120 player on the season. If he continues to start, then that’s a reasonable expectation of where he ends the season.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

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Money, money, money, monnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnney. Moooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeey. Love it or hate it, we need money to survive; to eat, cloth, and find shelter. The more you have, the greater number of times you can put cheese on that Whopper, get bling to accessorize the outfits, and/or accumulate various forms of entertainment. What’s the color of money in the United States? Green. Lots of green is usually a good thing. Well, last night, Troy Brown Jr. was money.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
26 9 7 1 1 0 2/4 9/15 6/7

Since Brown was money and money is green, then Brown is the new green. Don’t bother Googling, I’ve done the research. The 26 points and 7 dimes were both career highs! Now, Davis Bertans did not play last night, so Brown’s offense was needed. Don’t expect this kind of performance every night, but Brown can provide some tres, boards, and steals when he plays. On the season, he’s averaging 23.2 minutes per game. Over the past six games, that number has ticked up to 27.6. With all the injuries, Brown will be the main scoring option off the bench, so Brown can be money for as long as he continues getting the opportunities. Beep. Boop. Bop. You know what’s always money? The Stocktonator.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

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No, not Michael. That would be weird and unbelieveable at the same time. Did he travel in time? Or did he sell his shares in the Hornets, pass through waivers, and get signed by an NBA team? He is 56 years old, so it would be quite the feat if he was able to ball in today’s NBA, and go on a scoring binge no less. Vince Carter is 42 years old and still playing, so anything is possible. Plus, if there was one guy who could pull off the feat, Michael Jordan would have to be at the top of the list. That would be one helluva 30 for 30. But alas, Michael is not the Jordan that I’m talking about. That would be Jordan Clarkson of the Cleveland Cavaliers, who went 30 in 30 last night:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
33 6 1 0 1 1 6/8 12/17 3/5

In 30 minutes! Jordan gets buckets. How could he not? In five of six NBA seasons, Jordan has scored at least 30 points in one game. Unfortunately, he’s inconsistent and has never averaged more than 17 points per game. Plus, his last name is Clarkson. Ok, 17 points ain’t bad, as De’Aaron Fox averaged 17.3 points per game last season, which was good for 44th in the NBA. Clarkson just doesn’t do much else, which crimps his overall fantasy value. On the season, he’s a top 140 player.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

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If you go to Lawry’s and order the prime rib, there are five cuts to choose from: The California Cut (for lighter appetites), the English Cut (three thin slices), the Diamond Jim Brady Cut (an extra thick portion, bone in), the Beef Bowl Double Cut (celebratory Rose Bowl cut), and the Lawry Cut (the traditional and most popular). Because I’m a fat ass, it’s all about the Beef Bowl Double Cut, 22 ounces of heaven.

Heaven ain’t no place in the sky. It’s right down here on Earth….at Lawry’s. There are not many things better looking than that. But since we are fantasy nerds, seeing your player mess around and drop a triple-double in the stat box has got to be up there. Last night, Kyle Lowry expertly cooked the Triple-Double Cut:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
20 10 10 2 1 3 3/6 5/17 7/8

Mmmm, mmmm, mmm. So delicious. Since returning from injury, Lowry has AVERAGED 38.6 minutes per game! For the season, he’s second with 37.3, right behind James Harden. That is great for fantasy, as the counting stats have been abundant: 2.3 trees, 5.8 boards, 8 dimes, and 1.4 steals. The shooting has been atrocious, though, as he’s been shooting 31% from the field. For the season, he’s at 40%. As a result, he’s putting up top 45 production and will likely finish in the top 35-40 range when all is said and done. Outside of the poor shooting, the other main concern is health. He’s already missed games this season and, with the elevated run per night, can he hold up for the entire season? If he can, there should be more cooking of the Triple-Double Cut this season, as Lowry has now messed around 15 times in his career. Beep. Boop. Bop. You know what never messes around? The Stocktonator.

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Press the above video and sing along.

….Born is the King of Philadelphia. 

They looked up and saw a star. Shining in the East beyond them far. And to the court he gave great light. As so it continued. Night after night. 

Joel, Joel, Joel, Joel Embiid is too damn good:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
38 13 6 0 1 2 2/3 12/21 12/14

On the season, Embiid is a top 20-ish player. Last season, he finished as the #10 player for fantasy. The minutes have decreased by 3. As a result, the points are down by 5, the boards are down by 1, and the blocks are down by 0.5. Don’t fret, though. Over the past seven games, the minutes have climbed back up to 33 a game and Embiid has been the #15 player for fantasy. He should be a 1/1/1 member at season’s end and he’s one of the few player in the league who can truly contribute in every category. Sing your praises and exalt his name, as it is Joel season.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

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Yesterday’s game between Miami and Atlanta was not supposed to be as epic as it ended up being. The 17-6 Heat were against the 6-17 Hawks and the symmetry of their records was appeasing my order-obsessed mind. After a close game, Atlanta went up by six and Trae Young declared the game was over…

However, two triples from Jimmy Butler and Duncan Robinson forced overtime, where the Heat completed a 22-0 run to win it by 13. The most impressive stat from an already impressive boxscore was that Kendrick Nunn, Bam Adebayo, and Duncan Robinson combined for 100 (!!) points, with Adebayo and Jimmy Butler becoming the first teammates in Miami’s history with triple-doubles in the same game and Robinson hitting 10 triples. Miami has steadily developed seemingly fringe players into valuable rotation pieces and this has become a huge part of their success early in the season.

Regarding last week’s suggestions, Davis Bertans has been on fire and has climbed to 33rd in per-game value. Hope you got him as he will no longer be available after those performances. Tim Hardaway Jr. also performed admirably, as he poured in 29 points with nine triples in his last game, while Tyus Jones chipped in with assists and steals but is a drop now that Ja Morant is healthy.

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(Photo by Ned Dishman/NBAE via Getty Images)

Back in 2000, Eminem released “Stan”, a song about Stanley “Stan” Mitchell who wrote multiple letters saying that he was Eminem’s biggest fan. Over the course of the song, Stan gets angry when Eminem doesn’t respond and becomes obsessive, ultimately killing himself. The song/story is deeper than that, but I’m not here to write a synopsis of the song. I bring up “Stan” because the name eventually became a part of pop culture to reference obsessed fans. It was even included in the Oxford English Dictionary. Well, last night, there was a performance worthy of Stanning, as Davis Bertans went nuts:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
32 9 1 0 1 0 8/12 11/18 2/2

Did you know that you can’t spell Bertans without Stan? The universe truly is a wonderful place. Beep. Boop. Bop. You know what’s wonderful as well? The Stocktonator. Anyways, over the past seven games, Bertans has been a top 10 player for fantasy. He’s averaged 31.5 minutes, 20.5 points, 5.3 tres, 4.9 boards, with 51% shooting from the field and 92% from the line. 5.3 tres!!! There have even been some contributions in the defensive categories; 0.6 steals and 0.9 blocks. I heard on the Wizards broadcast a few games ago that Bertans is essentially a shooting savant. While in San Antonio, the coaches tweaked his shooting form and it only took him a day to fully implement it. What I’m saying is that there’s merit to what Bertans is doing right now. He’s shooting 45% from downtown this season, but he’s a career 41% shooter. In addition, with Thomas Bryant out for at least a month, Bertans is going to continue getting plenty of run. Now, he’s not going to continue being a top 10 player for fantasy, but top 50 is a reasonable expectation.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

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