Ah, centers. The literal giants of the fantasy basketball world. There are 56 centers listed below, with the shortest being Montrezl Harrell who stands at 6′ 8″ tall. In the United States, the average height of a male is 5′ 9″, which puts Montrezl in the 99.988 percentile. But he’s the shortest player in this piece. Many, if not most, are seven feet or taller. In the entirety of the world, there are approximately 2800 people seven feet or taller, which translates to 0.000038% of the population on Planet Earth. And 1.7% play in the NBA! Crazy! The outliers don’t stop there, though. Nikola Jokic is the only center who is projected to average over 4 dimes per game, with a whopping 7.5! Since these literal giants tower over the landscape, it would make sense that they dominate the blocks and boards categories. There are 15 players projected to grab at least 10 boards per game. 12 are centers. For blocks, 19 players are projected to reject at least 1.5 shots per game. 13 are centers. Let’s all bow down and pay homage to these titans of the fantasy basketball world.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Off the top of my head, Phil and Joan are the most famous people with the last name Collins. Well deserved and they sit on the thrones in the pantheon of Collins’s. Is that right? Or would it be Colline? Whatever, English is my second language. Ebonics was my first. Perusing the list of Collins’s or Colline got me thinking that people that pursue fame are dumb because 99% of the time that you think you’re famous, no one gives a shit or remembers. I guess that’s something someone who’s not famous writes. Anyways, John Collins has been making a case to be on the list.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
30 14 1 1 0 3 1/2 12/21 5/6

Collins has played 25 games, yet is 22nd in the NBA with 16 dub-dubs. For persepective, Joel Embiid leads the league with 36 in 40 games. Over the last eight games, he’s been a top 50 player, averaging 31.7 minutes, 19.3 points, 1.3 threeecolas, 11.8 boards, 2.3 dimes, with 57% shooting from the field and 75% on 4 attempts from the free throw line. The only thing he doesn’t contribute are the D stats. The Hawks play at the fastest pace in the league, so the environment is ripe for Collins to thrive. Unfortunately, the lack of D stats will keep him from challenging Phil or Joan for the throne, but that’s okay. At least he’s in the conversation.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

One of the beautiful things about the English language is its vast nature. One of the worst things about the English language is its vast nature. Take the word crane for example. It can describe a type of bird, a machine that lifts objects, or a specific type of neck movement. How about Derrick Rose saying “kill yourself” the other day? In a vacuum, it’s a terrible thing to say, but if you delve into the context, it does make some sense. It’s basically slang for “shut the F up.” Now, what about the expression “god damnit?” It’s usually used to express frustration or angst, but it’s also a military expression of encouragement. Thanks urban dictionary. Anyways, I’m going through all of this because of what Landry Shamet did last night:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
29 3 1 1 0 1 8/14 8/15 5/5

In 24 minutes off the bench! God Shamet! Am I calling Shamet a God? Am I expressing awe and amazement? Am I frustrated because I did not play him in DFS? It’s all about context, right? At the same time, I could answer yes to all three. Gotta love the English language. Shamet has appeared in every game this season, so he has the trust of the coaching staff and fills a specific need for the Sixers, which is to space the floor and knock down shots. From a fantasy perspective, he doesn’t have that much value, as he doesn’t play enough minutes or jack up the necessary shots. On the season, he’s averaging 4.4 threeecola attempts per game and, outside of last night, he had only one other game with more than 10 attempts. With that said, it was nice to have him as the lede, as it was getting boring talking about the same guys over and over. In addition, he’s someone to monitor if injury strikes or he does take on a more significant role as the season progresses.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Karl-Anthony Towns is an amazing player. He’s a seven-foot, 250 pound player who can post up down low, break ankles on the perimter, and drain threeecolas. While I question if he has enough dog in him to lead a team to the promised land, there is no denying his status as one of the elite fantasy players. Since entering the league, KAT has finished as the 12th, 6th, and 5th player in fantasy. So far, he’s the #7 player this season and puts up funky lines like this:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
28 18 3 2 4 3 1/4 11/20 5/5

I want to go to Funky Towns, though.

Can we Voltron up and get Andrew Wiggins out of Minnesota? KAT is averaging 16.2 shot attempts per game, good for 31st in the league. Wiggins is at 15.5 shots per game. Imagine a place sans Wiggins where KAT attempts over 20 shots per game and sees an uptick in usage and assist rate? That’s a place I want to go. The beyond funky contract of Wiggins makes it an almost impossible task, but one can dream.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Jeremy Lamb was selected with the 12th overall pick in the 2012 NBA draft by the Houston Rockets. A few days before the start of the regular season, Lamb was traded in a package for James Harden to Oklahoma City. Sacrificial Lamb? In three years with the Thunder, Lamb never averaged more than 19 minutes per game and was traded to the Charlotte Hornets in 2015. The first two years in Charlotte didn’t seem much different, as he averaged 18 minutes per game in each season. Then, in 2017 Lamb received close to 25 minutes per game and averaged over double-digits for the first time in his career, but during the 2017 NBA draft, the Hornets selected Malik Monk with the 11th overall pick. Sacrificial Lamb? Signs were pointing to Monk taking the starting shooting guard duties away from Lamb, as he seemed to have a higher upside. Well…..

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
31 6 3 2 0 0 3/3 11/18 6/7

Lamb played a team-high 49 minutes in a double-overtime game. For the season, he’s averaging 14.9 points, 5.8 rebounds, 1.1 steals, and 1.4 threeecolas per game. He’s shooting 43% from the field and 34% from downtown. Don’t expect many assists or blocks. Just solid top 60 production. No sacrificial Lamb this time because he’s baaaaaaaaad.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’m not one to boast or present fluff pieces, so when I provide a recommendation, EF Hutton is in the house. Now, a good buddy of mine told me to come check out a new restaurant he opened up. No joke. Indubitubly the best place in town. Was it the food? It was aiight. Then what? You know when people rave about the ambiance of an establishment? Well, you ain’t seen nothing until you’ve gone to The Place. As you walk from the parking lot towards the building, there are hundreds of cameras and sensors that scan your body and connect with your literal and virtual mind. This process takes about 5 seconds, so that by the time you reach the curb, The Place knows what you’re craving and digitally alters the environment to fit each individual customer. In my case, the golden arches appeared. Chicken nuggets? French fries? Sausage McMuffin with egg? Negative. The Place knew I was in search of a cheap shooting guard for my DFS lineups. Supersize it The Place asked? Indubitably. A machine printed out a small piece of paper, like the ones you see inside a fortune cookie. On it was written: Rodney McGruder.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
20 8 6 0 1 2 3/7 7/12 3/3

Mind blown.

McGruder is 27 years old and has been in the league for three years. He’s played a total of 97 games, and the 20 points scored were a career high. Last night, he did get the start and played 34 minutes. Now, Wayne Ellington and Justise Winslow did not play due to injury, but McGruder has the trust of coach Spoelstra and will play when there are injuries on the wing.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

12 months ago, the biggest criticism of the Washington Wizards was a lack of roster depth, and this season offers a similar outlook. Out goes the Polish hammer, Marcin Gortat, and in comes Dwight Howard, in an attempt to create some of the pick-and-roll magic which brought the Wizards team from one of the worst in the East to a perennial playoff team. The heartbeat of the team still revolves around John Wall, and if preseason is anything to believed, we can look forward to an uptempo Wizards offense led by the former All-Star looking to push the pace, flanked by an excellent wing combo of Bradley Beal and Otto Porter Jr. Can Washington’s big three thrive with the arrival of Howard? History suggests no, as the last three teams Howard has played for have all seen a decline in the win totals. The East might be depleted this season, but for Washington to maintain the status quo, it must rely heavily on it’s starting rotation and pray for good health.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

For playoff bound teams, every win at this point in the season is huge. This was not only a big win for the Washington Wizards, it was avoiding a terrible loss. Yes, they are missing All-Star point guard John Wall, but the Boston Celtics were starting someone named Guerschon Yabusele.

I did some digging and discovered that Mr. Yabusele, before donning a jersey and being announced with the Celtics’ starting five, was one of those giant security guards that stand at the bottom of each staircase with their arms crossed and their backs to the court during the game. In fact, prior to playing 18 minutes in last night’s double-OT loss against the Wizards, the most exciting thing to ever happen to Guerschon on a basketball court was high-fiving Marky Mark Wahlberg after a Kyrie Irving game winner.

The Celtics may have ultimately lost the game, but to get as close as they did is a real testament to just how much the Wizards play down to an opponent’s level. I am pretty sure a Division II high school basketball team could take Washington down to the wire.

Besides the Wizards almost losing the Celtics G-League squad, here is what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Religion is a touchy subject. There are so many different interpretations and perspectives that man has fought countless wars over it. Kind of makes sense, since we can’t even agree if it’s tomatoe or tomato, or figure out what a catch in football is. And those are things that we can tangibly see with our eyes. An omnipresent entity in the sky? Fugget about it. Personally, I grew up with religion in my life. My parents weren’t devout or anything, but they wanted to expose us to it…..just in case, I guess. I went to a Catholic elementary school (I’m not Catholic), so I experienced that life. As I got older, though, the pendulum swung both ways for me. I got really into it. Read a ton and asked a bunch of questions, but then I started to doubt. Then, I asked a bunch of questions the other way. As it stands, I believe in a higher power, but have issues with organized religion. In a way, that life journey encapsulates my fantasy experience with Marquese Chriss. I’ve always been enamored with his talent and potential. He’s shown me good things in spurts, but I have always had doubts with him because of the inconsistency. So, I guess it makes sense that Chriss played well on the Lord’s Day:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 17 5 1 1 4 1 4/5 5/8 3/6

It’s a solid line, but for the lede? Well, he did all that in 18 minutes and there was this:

Chriss probably will not be a consistent fantasy option the rest of the season. He’s just not getting enough minutes. But…..it’s not out of the realm of possibility that he does, and Chriss has shown us in the past that he can get scorching hot. Like with my view of religion, I just can’t completely dismiss the possibility.

Here’s what else I saw yesterday:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I love craps. Not the sitting on the toilet kind, but the rolling of them two dice. It’s the one game that feels like I have some modicum of control. I shoot the dice, can decide when and where to bet, move chips around, and finally take money off the table if I so choose. It’s all an illusion, though. Yes, money management can always help, but the numbers are not in my favor over the long run. The probability of rolling a 7 is 16.67%. 13.89% to roll a 6 or 8, 11.11% to roll a 5 or 9, and 8.33% to roll a 4 or 10. The hardway bets? 2%. Even though I know the numbers, the game is too freaking fun. And I have those stories when I was down to my last chip and proceeded to go on a crazy heater, hitting multiple points, and making everyone jump around. It’s those times that keep me going back to the tables to replicate that feeling. That is what it must be like to own Tim Hardaway Jr.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 37 5 1 2 0 3 6/9 14/24 3/3

Every once in a while, he will go on a heater that gets you all excited. More often than not, though, he will shoot 4-of-13 and make you cry like that guy in the casino bathroom that just lost the proverbial house. Since the Knicks lost Porzingis, THJ has seen usage rates of 29.4, 21.9, and 28.3. The high usage rate and minutes should continue to be plentiful. But like my experiences at the craps table, the likely scenario will be “7 OUT!” As long as you keep expectations in check, THJ will have some value. Just beware of emotionally point-chasing the performance from last night.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?