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Scottie Barnes’ second season in the NBA was so disappointing that the fantasy realm considered renaming “Sophomore Slump” to “Scottie Slump.” Well, Barnes has busted through that slump like a nerdy virgin kid who just hit the lottery hanging out at a bar full of gold diggers.  Scottie’s been hotty this season, and is currently […]

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The Bergens are coming, AHHH. The Bergens are coming, AHHH. The Bergens are coming, AHHH. The Bergens are coming, AHHH. 

For those without kids, that’s Branch in “Trolls” overreacting because he’s scared of success (and friendship), just like so many fantasy basketball players will overreact to the first couple games, when regular bench rotations guys will be proclaimed breakouts of the season, and busts will be said to abound as the rust gets knocked off the boots. 

However, while we definitely don’t want to overreact, let’s remember: Branch ended up being right. You don’t want to be caught with that average penny stock and telling yourself, “any day now, it’s gunna go crazy!” [Checks portfolio, sighs with depression, gets back to basketball.] Keep an eye on minutes, rotations and usage more than the general stat lines in these early going. 

And with that piece of nonsensical advice, let’s get on with the show! Here’s what caught my eye in the 12 games of the unofficial official opening night in The Association.

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Man, I just realized that the NBA has six divisions.  In the guise of journalistic integrity, I am contractually obligated to write one of these for every division now…

Again, if you missed the Central Division earlier in the offseason, I’m not focusing on the guys for risers in the early rounds…  I’m looking for guys to make a leap and targets throughout the rest of the season.  Teams are in order of how I predict they will finish.  I find that order more fulfilling.

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20 years ago, UPS had an ad campaign with the slogan, “What can Brown do for you?” 

Brown says: Make your life easier

Brown tells me that you have all the choices you want

Brown says to me: Get your shipments to your customers, when they need it and where they need it

Brown says: Relax, we’ll get it done

Brown says: How about some more pie?

Brown didn’t say that

What a stupid ass commercial but it serves our purpose today because Jaylen Brown freaking delivered the goods on Sunday.

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Welcome to your midweek guidance for Week 22!  In this post, I identify widely-available players who can help you win your head-to-head matchup.  We’re almost at the point when we have to start thinking about life after fantasy hoops.  Having just lost in the finals of my Yahoo league (congrats, Kris!), I’m just four days away from defeating Bball Oracle (according to my vision board) and no longer needing to obsessively check injury reports ahead of each night’s action.  From Monday, I will be doing this solely for your benefit.  That is, for the benefit of anyone crazy enough to play fantasy basketball into April.  After that, I have to tend to all the things I’ve neglected in my life for six months.

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If Charles Barkley and Zach Randolph had a baby, it would be weird because as far as I know, men still can’t have babies [you’re canceled!]. But metaphorically speaking, if they had a basketball baby, it very well could look like Kenneth Lofton Jr. – and it sure as heck would play like him. 

The undrafted rookie got his first taste of NBA rotation minutes last night, and helped the Grizzlies overcome a 29 third-quarter deficit to beat the Spurs in overtime, 126-120. K-Loft finished with 11 points (4-6 FG, 1-2 3pt, 2-4 FT), 7 rebounds, an assist and a block in 14 minutes. Most of his production came during an 8-minute second-half stretch. 

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The NBA season will be entering the silly season soon, especially with the number of Victor Wembanyama Fatheads plastering the HQs of a handful of teams increasing, and Vic’s shadow darkening the landscape. Or brightening I guess, depending on the perspective. While we will start seeing ridiculous lineups and rotations and begin mouthing “Who did what?” more often than we’d like, it’s been silly in Denver all season due to Nikola Jokic. The things he does on the basketball court are such a joy to watch and they often don’t come with the Da Nana, Da Nana. Last night, Jokic made a mockery of the NBA yet again with:

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Welcome to your midweek guidance for Week 20!  In this post, I identify widely-available players who can help you win your head-to-head matchup.  Hopefully, you were able to add Mr. (W)Right last week and benefit from a top-25 run of games.  There are a number of other players whose names I constantly promote as streamers who can still be found on waiver wires – Donte DiVincenzo, Killian Hayes, Dennis Smith Jr., Kyle Anderson, Daniel Gafford.  They’re not perfect (Exhibits A and B: Gafford’s terrible Wednesday night and Hayes’ missed games), but their ceilings are high in categories that you might need.  I recommend looking their way first before reading down the rest of this list.

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Regarding last week’s suggestions, Dennis Smith Jr. had a good week and should maintain respectable value for the remainder of the season and the same can be said for Matisse Thybulle, especially on the defensive side of the ball. Finally, Xavier Tillman was another successful suggestion and his value was further enhanced due to the injury to Brandon Clarke, who will remain out for the whole season. As long as he and Steven Adams remain sidelined, Tillman should be a good streamer for standard leagues.

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Burning bridges. No good, as you never know what the universe has in store for the future. Having water under the bridge? A good sign because that means climate change hasn’t evaporated a big percentage of the water on Earth. Mikal Bridges? Well, he was always a solid fantasy asset because he chipped in everywhere without hurting anywhere. Now, Mikal is making it rain so many fantasy goodies that the water flowing under this Bridges is causing the fantasy landscape to transform before our eyes. On Sunday, there was a flash flood warning due to:

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