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Scottie Barnes’ second season in the NBA was so disappointing that the fantasy realm considered renaming “Sophomore Slump” to “Scottie Slump.” Well, Barnes has busted through that slump like a nerdy virgin kid who just hit the lottery hanging out at a bar full of gold diggers.  Scottie’s been hotty this season, and is currently […]

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I started writing a movie plotline starring Damian Lillard in Canada as a male counterpoint to Stella in the Bahamas, but decided to spare you fine readers that pending trainwreck (and possible violation for racial insensitivity from the Razzball board of directors) and get right down to basketball.  With Giannis taking the night off, Lillard […]

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Hello Razzball Nation! I am the self-proclaimed BBall Oracle (results may vary) here to provide you with my picks and insights for NBA DFS this season. We’re kicking off this year with a massive post-election day 14 game slate. On a slate this large there are so many viable plays that you don’t need to intentionally get different with ownership. Play the guys you think will score the most points even if you think that guy might be chalky.

My number one piece of advice for NBA DFS in general, but especially on a slate this large, is to be on top of injury updates. Contests are won and lost on backups becoming starters and starters getting increased usage from injuries. In the NBA random injuries happen every night, players get rested for no reason despite the NBA’s best efforts to deter it, and tank-itis is a horrible disease that will luckily not rear its ugly head for another few months. You need to be on top of your lineups up until lock and to give yourself the best chance to win even after lock to monitor late scratches and lingering questionable designations. There will be injury plays that open up with news tomorrow that we just don’t know yet.

That being said, with our current knowledge of injury news (Tuesday night) let’s get down to it. Pricing is always (Fanduel/DraftKings). I play tournaments and my picks will always bias towards volatility and upside.

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The Bergens are coming, AHHH. The Bergens are coming, AHHH. The Bergens are coming, AHHH. The Bergens are coming, AHHH. 

For those without kids, that’s Branch in “Trolls” overreacting because he’s scared of success (and friendship), just like so many fantasy basketball players will overreact to the first couple games, when regular bench rotations guys will be proclaimed breakouts of the season, and busts will be said to abound as the rust gets knocked off the boots. 

However, while we definitely don’t want to overreact, let’s remember: Branch ended up being right. You don’t want to be caught with that average penny stock and telling yourself, “any day now, it’s gunna go crazy!” [Checks portfolio, sighs with depression, gets back to basketball.] Keep an eye on minutes, rotations and usage more than the general stat lines in these early going. 

And with that piece of nonsensical advice, let’s get on with the show! Here’s what caught my eye in the 12 games of the unofficial official opening night in The Association.

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20 years ago, UPS had an ad campaign with the slogan, “What can Brown do for you?” 

Brown says: Make your life easier

Brown tells me that you have all the choices you want

Brown says to me: Get your shipments to your customers, when they need it and where they need it

Brown says: Relax, we’ll get it done

Brown says: How about some more pie?

Brown didn’t say that

What a stupid ass commercial but it serves our purpose today because Jaylen Brown freaking delivered the goods on Sunday.

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Burning bridges. No good, as you never know what the universe has in store for the future. Having water under the bridge? A good sign because that means climate change hasn’t evaporated a big percentage of the water on Earth. Mikal Bridges? Well, he was always a solid fantasy asset because he chipped in everywhere without hurting anywhere. Now, Mikal is making it rain so many fantasy goodies that the water flowing under this Bridges is causing the fantasy landscape to transform before our eyes. On Sunday, there was a flash flood warning due to:

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Did you know that the title for every episode of the USA series “Monk” started “Mr. Monk …” As in, “Mr. Monk Goes to the Circus”; “Mr. Monk Joins a Cult”; and who could forget, “Mr. Monk and the Man Who Shot Santa Claus”?

I feel like the Kings should be working up a cross-promotion deal to revitalize the series (originally set in the Bay Area), but set up the road in Sacramento and with Malik Monk casted as Tony Shalhoub’s sidekick. Or maybe that’s just the cabin fever settling in since I am in Oregon, where anything more than 3 inches of snow causes mass hysteria and shuts everything down. 

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….Making all the threes! What, where did you think I was going with that? But yeah, reaching the 48-hour mark until the NBA trade deadline hits, many things are happening both on the court and off it. With the trade of Kyrie Irving to the Mavericks complete (don’t let it near the Jewish space lasers!) marking the end (or beginning?) of the Net’s introspective journey on finding out what happens when you let two idiots have their way with the franchise (three if you count Joe Tsai), one has to wonder what could top that? Will KD be next? (Doubtful, but of course I would never rule out a return to the Warriors just for the lols.)

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Last night I was able to test out a new Seuss-style story during my kids’ bedtime:

“An Ant-man with cool fluffy hair, who went the nation’s capital and let it rain from behind the arch. He was hitting ‘em on the pull up. He was hitting ‘em on the spot up. He nailed 3s on the swing. He nailed 3s on the run. He hit 3s from the corner, at the top. He created a skookum of 3s like it was a skookum of tallywade  ….”

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