The Dallas Mavericks are powered by two nuclear reactors. Unfortunately, the Luka Doncic Reactor was damaged a week ago and needed to be shut down. The Kristaps Porzingis Reactor has been throttled up in the meantime, but more power was required. Mark Cuban was wise to have alternative power sources at the ready. Bunsen burners don’t provide a ton of heat and are primarily just used in laboratories, but they provide a continuous source of fire. That is exactly what Jalen Brunson provides. Yesterday, the dial was turned up to full max:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
21 4 9 1 0 2 2/5 8/14 3/3

In 34 minutes. Now, the Doncic Reactor’s repairs are almost finished, so the Brunson Burner will be relegated once again to just laboratory experiments, but he’s someone to keep in mind if injury strikes again. In seven games as a starter this season, Brunson has averaged 29.8 minutes, 12.4 points, 1.4 tres, 4.3 boards, and 6.9 dimes. The shooting efficiency has also been excellent; 46% from the field and 100% from the line. In 22 games off the bench, he averages a meager 14.7 minutes. The Brunson Burner will never be able to fully power the Mavs on a consistent basis, but he’s more than capable of providing fire when called upon. Beep. Boop. Bop. You know what always brings the heat? The Stocktonator.

Here’s what else I saw yesterday:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Brooks are serene, calm, and picturesque. But looks can be deceiving. I was once fishing at the local brook (I don’t fish and I live in Los Angeles), when I heard some commotion behind me. There were two squirrels holding onto my bait box and trying to drag it back to the tree from which they came from. As I turned around and rose from the log I was parked on, I heard a splash behind me. A beaver had pulled the pail, which housed all the fish I caught, into the stream. A coordinated attack. After my inital anger, I was truly impressed. From that day, I always watched my six and didn’t fall for the old “bird singing then shitting on my head” distraction. Anyways, Brook Lopez is big, tall, and lumbers around the court. He should bang down low, grab boards, and operate in the paint. But looks can be deceiving. Lopez likes to hang out on the perimeter and launch salvos from downtown. When he first entered the league, he was a boarding maniac. Now? Not so much. Business decisions. The most baffling aspect of his game, though, is his penchant for getting his 211 on. Don’t believe me?

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
10 4 2 4 3 1 0/3 3/8 4/4

Last night was the fifth time in his career that Lopez has pilfered four in a game. Not something you expect from a lumbering giant such as Brook. Anyways, the one predictable and not surprising aspect of Brook’s game is in the block department. Beep. Boop. Bop. You know what’s always predictable? The Stocktonator. He’s fifth in the league with 2.2 blocks per game. From a fantasy perspective, Brook is a top 70 player. The free throw shooting is excellent (90% on 2 attempts) and there’s the aforementioned blocks. He provides 1.4 tres per game, but the scoring is way down from previous years due to the 38% shooting from the field. The minutes are also down to 26 from 28.7 last season. Brook is too good of a shooter to continue converting sub-40% from the field. I’d expect that to normalize as the season progresses.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Julius Caesar was a successful military general who turned powerful politician in the ancient Roman days. His power became so immense that he was named “dictator for life”. Unfortunately, he pissed off the wrong people (i.e. the elites) and was eventually assassinated via stabbing, or as the kids be saying, “he got shanked”. Beep. Boop. Bop. You know what never pisses off the people? The Stocktonator. After the early returns from the three-year, $63 million contract given to Julius Randle, Knicks fans were ready to hive up and Twitter shank Randle. Then….

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
30 7 4 2 1 1 3/5 12/17 3/5

The 30 points were a season-high and it was only the second time this season in which he’s notched at least one steal and one block in a game. Now, before you start mental masturbating, keep in mind that last night’s game was against the Cavaliers. Need more? Kevin Love did not play and Cedi “Not So” Osman started at power forward. Any wonder why Julius went nuts? For fantasy, Randle provides points, boards, and some dimes. He even chips in some tres now. With that said, the percentages from both the field and free throw line are poor, and he provides little in the defensive categories. As a result, he’s outside the top 200 right now and will likely be a top 100-ish player.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2-18, 2-16, 9-19, 8-22.

In the four recaps that I’ve written this year that James Harden was a part of, those have been his three-point shooting lines. For you math whizzes, that averages out to 18.75 attempted threes per game, and expanded across an 82-game season, that means Harden will have chucked up 1,537 threes.

Pause. One thousand, five hundred thirty-seven. The NBA record, held by Harden himself, is 500 fewer than that total.

With that said, the four times I’ve written about Harden happen to be his four highest attempt totals from beyond the arc so far. But maybe it’s not totally coincidental. I write the recaps for Friday night and Saturday night games. Maybe there’s some sort of correlation between looking forward to the weekend and getting three-point happy?

A Reddit user, Angry Centric, found a pretty significant correlation between Harden’s performance and the quality of the strip clubs in the city he’s playing in. When the strip clubs are better, the quality goes down. Maybe, just maybe, this could factor into Harden’s three-point shooting. Could he hoist up more threes when he’s excited to go out to a strip club after the game? We’ll keep looking into this as the season goes on.

I guess Minnesota doesn’t have the best strip clubs, though, as Harden exploded last night:

PTS REB AST STL BLK FG-FGA 3p-3pA FT-FTA TO
49 5 6 0 0 16-41 8-22 9-11 4

Here’s what else I saw from around the league on Saturday night.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Two nights ago, Andre Drummond punked the Indiana Pacers worse than Dr. Dre and Snoop did Eazy-E in Dre Day. 32 points, 23 boards, 2 dimes, 3 steals, and 4 blocks! With no Blake Griffin in the lineup, it’s all about Dre. I contemplated making his performance the lede, but Kyrie’s 50-burger took precedence, so Dre Day was overshadowed. Last night, Dre was nice again, putting up a line of:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
21 12 2 4 1 4 0 8/12 5/6

Dre is stuffing the stat sheet and shooting 13-for-16 from the free throw line so far in two games!!! Yet, he was once again overshadowed by Trae Young, as last night was Trae Day.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
38 7 9 1 0 6 6/10 11/21 10/12

He shoots from the logo at halfcourt, breaks down defenders if they get up too close, and dishes exquisite dimes. The Hawks play at a hyper-fast pace and have a plethora of shooters surrounding Trae, so every game could be a Trae Day. Do we have to start calling him Trae Souffle? Because he cooks his opponents? How about Trae Sensei? Because he educates his defenders. Put your suggestions in the comments. Anyways, Trae isn’t going to shoot so efficiently from the field every game, and the turnovers will be high, but the points, tres, dimes, and excellent free throw percentage should be there every night. If he chips in boards, then…..

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ah, centers. The literal giants of the fantasy basketball world. There are 56 centers listed below, with the shortest being Montrezl Harrell who stands at 6′ 8″ tall. In the United States, the average height of a male is 5′ 9″, which puts Montrezl in the 99.988 percentile. But he’s the shortest player in this piece. Many, if not most, are seven feet or taller. In the entirety of the world, there are approximately 2800 people seven feet or taller, which translates to 0.000038% of the population on Planet Earth. And 1.7% play in the NBA! Crazy! The outliers don’t stop there, though. Nikola Jokic is the only center who is projected to average over 4 dimes per game, with a whopping 7.5! Since these literal giants tower over the landscape, it would make sense that they dominate the blocks and boards categories. There are 15 players projected to grab at least 10 boards per game. 12 are centers. For blocks, 19 players are projected to reject at least 1.5 shots per game. 13 are centers. Let’s all bow down and pay homage to these titans of the fantasy basketball world.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What’s up fellow Razzball readers and fantasy basketball enthusiasts! After recharging our batteries over the summer, it’s time to start preparing for the upcoming NBA season. These can range from checking the names of the players from this year’s draft and/or casually checking all the offseason transactions, which can escalate to frantically searching for recorded games of Limoges to scouting the strengths and weaknesses of Sekou Doumbouya’s fantasy game. It’s all about how each and everyone enjoys the fantasy basketball game.

Now, I have to admit I can relate more to the latter example and, as such, I am preparing my top 155 projections for roto leagues, which will be published in the upcoming weeks and mark my third straight year on this fine site.

Last year, I decided to grade my projections from the year before, in an attempt to judge myself and try and make them more accurate in the future. Go me, for hating myself I guess, but it’s a fun little project before I dive into the actual projections every summer. If you are curious and ready for some math, check last year’s article for a full explanation on the method used. If you prefer the “too long, didn’t read” approach, know that the main metric is the difference between the projected and the actual overall per game value for each player.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

After engorging yourself on the Top 10 and Top 25, I know you’ve been writhing in anticipation for the Top 50. Before you start getting blisters on your butt, I am here to appease the pain, the anguish, and suffering. That ain’t you? You here to make fun of and throw internet tomatoes at my head? That’s cool, but if you come for the king, you best not miss. For those that get the reference, salud.

As always, keep in mind that these rankings are based on overall value from my projections. They should be utilized in the context of your roster construction, ADP, and personal preference.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

There have been some interesting storylines surrounding Giannis Antetokounmpo this offseason. The 2018-19 MVP accepted his award humbly and gave an emotional speech before telling ESPN’s Ohm Youngmisuk that he’s only reached “60% of his potential.” Uh-oh. Then, the Milwaukee Bucks went out and made a splash in free agency, signing veteran sharpshooter Kyle Korver. As one of the best shooters in the world, he’s a worthy mentor and has been helping the Greek Freak to develop his jumper. Uh-oh. And then, NBA coaches and executives went ahead and voted Kawhi Leonard as the best player in the league. Because why not incite the 25-year-old Milwaukee mainstay to play even better this year?

Please, blog, may I have some more?