I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care. I’m not supposed to write about the same player in the lede. I’m supposed to change it up and give others a chance. I’m all about equal opportunity but I ain’t no commie. I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care. Because what James Harden is doing right now, I’d be doing a disservice if I didn’t make him the lede every single night. Since December 13th, 2018, Harden has played 18 games. Over that span, he’s AVERAGING 42 points per game. There’s been three 50-burgers and eight games with at least 40. He hasn’t scored less than 32 points. W. T. F…..He’s AVERAGED 38.7 minutes and had a usage rate of 43.4%!!! The true shooting percentage has been 62% while the assist percentage has been 48.5%! W. T. F….W. T. F…..W. T. F!!!! Last night, in an overtime loss, Harden was ridonkulous:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
58 10 6 1 1 4 5/19 16/34 21/23

He scored 57 the prior night! I’ll never forget 2003 Kobe when he went nine straight games scoring at least 40 points. That was sick. This is…..illmatic. Shout out to Nas.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We are all attracted to different things. Some like the boobs, while others prefer the butt. Some like the wit, while others like to laugh. Whatever you’re into, what you consider fine and what blows your mind is totally subjective. Nikola Jokic had his detractors when he came into the league. He was too pudgy. Not athletic enough. Doesn’t play D. He didn’t look like a ball player. That was one perspective. But he shoots and passes. Man, can he pass.

He did that during last night’s game against the Clippers, but that’s not all he did.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
18 14 10 0 2 1 0/5 8/19 2/3

Ho hum. Just Nikola messing around in back-to-back games and fifth time this season. I count another nine games in which he just missed as well. Such a Jokic! Anyways, he’s the #12 player on the season, but over the past eight games, he’s been #6. Jokic has averaged 33.8 minutes, 24.9 points, 1.3 threeecolas, 11.8 boards, 8.6 dimes, 1.4 steals, and 1.1 blocks. 55% shooting from the field and 83% from the line on 3.8 attempts puts the cherry on top. Nikola may not have the body of supreme baller, but the way he plays the game and the skill set he possesses makes me googly-eyed, while the plays he makes blow my mind.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Boy, the way Lonzo played

Cleveland wishes LeBron had stayed

Man, they really had it made

Those were the days

Dated All in the Family reference aside, the Lakers really abused the Hornets last night. Side note: The All in the Family theme song gets super inappropriate after the first verse talking about how freaks used to only be in the circus and that there’s too many people on welfare, but that’s Archie Bunker in a nutshell. Okay, back to B-Ball… Charlotte was coming off a back-to-back, so it was a perfect storm for the Lake-Show to put up some big lines. The Lakers had two players with double-doubles: LeBron James and Lonzo Ball. For LeBron, this was one of many, and for Ball, this was one of many to come, but for two players to get a trip-dub in one game is special. This feat has only been accomplished five other times, most recently when Jason Kidd and Vince Carter did it back in 2007, when the Nets played in New Jersey. Those were the days! Mark Wahlberg would have been proud, even though he’s a Celtics fan, because it was the Perfect Storm for the Lakers to have a historic night. Ball went  2-16-10-10-5-1-2 on 7-of-11 shooting making 1-of-2 FTs, while James went 2-24-12-11-1-0-3 on 7-of-15 shooting and 8-of-12 from the line. On another side note, George Clooney got a bunch of men killed in that movie over some damn fish… Anyway, here’s what else went down in the NBA on Saturday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Wealth is a relative thing. I live in Los Angeles, where the average per capita income is $42,042. In Malawi, though, the per capita income is $250. An Angeleno would look like a king to a person from Malawi. That same Angeleno would be a peasant compared to any of the 103 billionaires living in New York City. This is where Forbes magazine comes in. With the Forbes 400 and Forbes Global 2000, there is no debate as to who the richest Americans and what the world’s top companies are. In addition, it includes countless articles on finance, investing, and marketing topics. “The Capitalist Tool” is money in the bank. So, it’s only fitting that Bryn Forbes did this last night:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
24 11 3 1 0 2 5/5 8/14 3/3

A ceiling outcome, no doubt, but money is money. With that said, the 25-year-old, third-year guard has started all 28 games this season. The minutes have been all over the map, as Pop does what Pop do, but he’s averaging a tick under five threeecolas and cashing in two per game. Unfortunately, Forbes does not have a diversified portfolio, so don’t expect much other than points and threeecolas, but he does play and it’s likely he trips into a few rebounds and assists from time to time.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We are recuperating from the Thanksgiving holiday, but no rest for the weary, as preparations are beginning in earnest for Christmas. Then, it’s a quick turnaround for New Year’s followed by Groundhog Day. What? You don’t bow down to Punxsutawney Phil? You heathen. Valentine’s Day is next with Chinese New Year right after that. I married Chinese to hedge against the possibility that they rule the world in my lifetime. You don’t need to take it that far, but you may want to start celebrating that particular holiday. Just in case. St. Patrick’s Day, Good Friday, Easter, Patriot’s Day, Cinco de Mayo, Mother’s Day….I think you get the point. The holidays keep coming and going, which is exactly what Jrue Holiday does on the basketball court, as he played 42 minutes last night.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
32 4 14 4 1 1 4/8 12/23 4/6

On the season, Holiday is averaging over 36 minutes per game. Since the holiday seasons are usually about giving, it’s only appropriate that he’s third in the NBA in assists (9 per game). The turnovers are a little high (3.7) and the free throw percentage is a little low (75%), but he’s providing 20.6 points, 1.4 threeecolas, 4.6 rebounds, 1.6 steals, and 0.8 blocks, which is good for the #27 player in fantasy. This Holiday always be working and providing.

Beep. Boop. Bop. You know what else doesn’t take holidays off? The Stocktonator, which is probably why it had Holiday so high last night.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

There was a time when the streets were flooded with bookstores: B. Dalton, Borders, Coles, Crown Books, and Encore Books. Then the internet came along and changed the whole paradigm. No longer did people have to get off their asses to buy books. Instead, a click here and a click there and…poof…like magic, the book would appear at their door. As a result, brick-and-mortar locations became obsolete and the aforementioned stores went kaput. But one company, Barnes & Noble, was able to rise from the carnage and remain relevant. While there was no need to have a bookstore at every corner, some people still enjoyed that walk-in experience. As a result, Barnes & Noble has remained and continues to serve the community. Which brings me to Harrison Barnes. A five-star recruit and Mr. Basketball USA in high school, All-Conference and All-American in college (North Carolina), and All-Rookie in the NBA, business was booming in the Barnes household. But then he got scared of his own shadow during the NBA playoffs (2015) , in a contract year no less, and kaput. No more Golden State. Mark Cuban, though, saw value and paid $94 million over four years to acquire his services. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ During his time in Dallas, Barnes has averaged 18.9 points, 5.4 rebounds, 1.7 assists, 0.7 steals, 1.4 threeecolas, and 0.2 blocks. Not great, but serviceable. Is that worth $94 million? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But every once in a while, Barnes does deliver:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
30 9 1 0 1 3 3/9 11/28 5/5

Over the past six games, Barnes has been a top 60 player, but he’s more like a top 100 player. Since 2014, he’s finished as the 109th, 119th, 79th, and 90th player. Barnes doesn’t provide much of a ceiling but the floor is pretty high, as he shoots a ton of shots. Not everyone likes bookstores, but they do provide a function for some. That’s the best way to describe Harrison Barnes for fantasy.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In the year LXXX A.D., the construction of the Roman Colosseum was completed. While Classical mythology dramas were performed there, the Colosseum was more well-known for the gory public spectacles: gladiator fight, executions, and animal vs. animal clashes. Thanks to Google, we are able to learn about some of the most epic battles. Were they true? When I buy my DeLorean, I’ll let you know. Until that day, assume all the accounts are true, because I got it from a page on the internet. There was the elephant vs rhino fight, in which the elephant picked up a broken spear and gouged the rhino’s eyes out. A former Syrian soldier named Flamma was victorious 33 times. He so impressed the masses that the politicians offered him freedom four times. Titus filled the Colsseum with water, brought in ships, and re-enacted a sea battle with three thousand men. All impressive and no doubt had all the spectators on the edge of their seats, but none could compare with what went down at Scotiabank Arena last night, where the Toronto Raptors edged the Golden State Warriors, 131-128 in OT. The game looked like it was going to be a laugher, as the Raptors stormed out to a 13-point advantage after the first period, but then Kevin Durant went into F U mode and….

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
51 11 6 0 0 1 4/7 18/31 11/12

KD has scored 44, 49, and 51 points over the last three games. With no Steph Curry on the court, he has a mind-boggling 41% usage rate. There’s really not much to say, as KD is the #3 player for fantasy, and we all know it, but…..30.1 points, 1.5 threeecolas, 7.9 rebounds, 6.1 assists, 0.9 steals, 1.1 blocks, 51% from the field, and 93% from the line is so silly to write and look at regardless. Anyways, landofbasketball.com has the head-to-head stats for KD vs Kawhi Leonard. They have played 32 times against each other (13 regular season/19 playoffs). KD averages 28 points, 7.8 rebounds, 4.3 assists, 1.1 steals, and 1.2 blocks against KL. NBA is faaaaaaantastic!

Beep. Boop. Bop. I was wondering why I saw famous battles at the Colosseum on the History Channel when I walked by the Stocktonator earlier in the day, as it had KD as the #1 player last night.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The young season has already provided some serious ups and downs, surprises, and plenty of excitement. We’ve seen several 50-point games, a Derrick Rose time machine experience, some thrilling overtime finishes, and one Javale McGee three-pointer.

One thing I don’t get is why players need rest when they have been chilling on the beaches of Jamaica, hanging out in Paris, or making some extra change running basketball camps, which they don’t really run, but is a way for their high school buddies to capitalize on their name and make a few dollars.

Yet, here they are resting in week 2. Gordon Hayward, I get. I certainly don’t get Kawhi resting. He rested all last year!

In this piece, I will provide some info on the basketball and fantasy trends of the teams in the Association. We will start this week with the teams located on the Left Coast.

Please, blog, may I have some more?