It’s finally here! “The lockout is over!” You’re like, “wtf, a lockout?!” I’m quoting a Dave Cowens commercial! And after the 98-99 Lockout at that! Anything vintage Hornets is nostalgic gold right now. Ridiculous amounts of bonus points to readers who are Hornets fans and remember that commercial and/or can find the video. Because I couldn’t!
The return of the Hornets is one of the many things I’m looking forward to this year. Getting past my horrific Jonas Valanciunas love, finally changing the page to a new season, is another. But one of the biggest is a healthy (for now) Kobe Bryant and the return of the “Guess Kobe Bryant’s Stat Line”! Even if you’re a long-time reader, you might not know this one! It’s like the NBA scheduled the Lakers on a light opening night just for this momentous Razzball event, not because the Lakers are a widely popular team or anything…
I don’t remember exactly what spawned this prestigious contest, but as with everything that is oddly conversational in Razzball, traditions can start any time! Like how we all guessed what Kobe would do, the like, 5 games he played last year. So in order to carry this tradition, and to accurately-ish credit the winner, guess the Kobe line will be limited to the PTS/REB/AST projection to determine the victor. Feel free to guess more stats than that, but when we did it last year with steals and blocks and turnovers, it was hard to say which commenter was closer than another. The winner gets a shout out in the recap the next day, along with the jealous ire of all other Razzballers… I think Kobe has a big one in the opener vs. Houston… I’m going 31/5/6. Shoot your guesses below, and happy return to Fantasy Basketball! We’re pumped for our biggest season to date here at Razzball, and thanks to everyone for checking us out through the offseason!
Here’s some other news and notes since the last wrap-up, and what I’ll be focusing on for opening night (and we’re daily every weekday with the wrap-ups here on out!):
George Hill – When it rains, it Pacers. You know what I’m going for, underdeveloped joke police! Out “at least” three weeks with no real timetable. He bruised his knee and it didn’t sound too severe, so this is now getting into scary territory. Kinda like Wizard of Oz. I hate those friggin’ flying things! Almost tough to hold onto Hill even in 12ers… He showed some interesting stuff this preseason, but his upside even with no Paul George wasn’t exactly as high as Roy Hibbert‘s low. Horrible analogy with all the highs and lows JB!
C.J. Watson – He’s on the Pacers. I’ll let you have one guess why he’s on here if you didn’t know… Out “at least” two weeks with a bruised foot. Yeah, it’s that bad! Which leads to…
Donald Sloan – Your unquestioned starter for opening night tomorrow! Gonna get a buttload of minutes, and unless his fate is as bad as that other Donald previously associated with the NBA, should be solid enough to roster, even in 12ers. Just by attrition. Worth adding if you need PG depth/assists.
David West – His ankle sprain earlier in preseason had me sounding the alarm bells as vigorously as a coked out set of reindeer on December 26. Blitzen likes to party when the big night is over, OK?! Now you know why his name is Blitzen! Another “at least” timetable from the Pacers, who now might as well tank the season. At least 3 games for West. I said at early on this has shades of Ilyasova-ness to me. Great PF option derailed by a preseason high ankle sprain, and it’s not like West has that much athleticism to spare… Luis Scola should get some great early PT, but only the deeper leagues need to burden themselves with hideousness like that…
Anthony Morrow – The Thunder are looking more and more like the Pacers of the West. Morrow isn’t much on the fantasy radar, but will miss 4-6 weeks with a bum ACL.
Reggie Jackson – Ugh. This one stings. Sprained his ankle pretty severely in practice yesterday and we’re awaiting further information. Had to be helped off the practice court and puts any playing time this week in question. Makes Jeremy Lamb an even more interesting play early on this year. Hopefully we get some good news about RJax today.
Jeff Adrien – In one of the odder moves with roster downsizing, was cut by the Rockets. He was on a team-friendly deal and filled a need for them, so I don’t get it… I’ve thrown out a guess he was bodying up Dwight Howard too hard in practice. If that’s wrong, then I’d gander he told everyone he got a beard ride from Harden and Harden denied it and had Adrien waived. Either way, it’s not Adrien’s fault! Some depth charts have no one behind Dwight at C, so Donatas Motiejunas is increasing some interest for me. Sounds like he has to play now, and for deeper leagues, I’d stream him tonight.
Kawhi Leonard – The hills have eyes! And so does Kawhi! Let’s hope at least… Some sort of crazy infection is still getting healed up, so he’s sitting tonight. The Spurs really need to think about spending the big bucks to get Ben Stein to serve as team eye doctor and clear those up. He’s aweeeeeesome.
Kyle Anderson – Slo-mo! Making his debut tonight, but really unsure what his minutes will be… I’d imagine 20+ given Kawhi is out, but we’ll see. We’ll see… In… Slow motion… That is…
Cory Joseph – I think he’s underrated and pretty solid. No Kawhi means Danny Green/Manu Ginobili/Marco Belinelli have to handle all the 2 minutes and help out with the 3. CoJo should get some run! And continue to play while Patty Mills recovers from his shoulder surgery.
Boris Diaw – Tiago Splitter is out tonight with a bad calf. When Ben Affleck has the flu, he has to call in sick with a bad cough and it sounds the exact same… Anyway, Diaw is in line for some big minutes tonight. He’s really underrated in what he can bring to the table, other than his near 300-lbs French appetite. Is Orson Welles here?! Per-36s of 13.1/5.9/4/0.8/0.6 w/ 0.8 3PTM last year and you’d imagine 36ish tonight.
Jameer Nelson – Tough start, against the Spurs! Roll back the tape though, I said as soon as he was signed he was gonna be the main guy! Raymond Felton is still at least a week out, and about three years overdue to be out of the NBA… But that’s neither here nor there, Jameer is gonna be awesome this year for some treys and dimes you didn’t have to spend a nickel on. Not too worried about the Mavs bringing in J.J. Barea – I think that’s more about necessary depth than anything on Jameer.
Chandler Parsons – Pumped for his Mavs debut. Should be a great game against the defending champs.
Austin Rivers – The Pelicans seem pretty set, so I wanna throw out one last preseason Rivers mention. He showed a little bit of promise late last year and might be a featured backup at both PG and SG. They didn’t pick up his option for next year, maybe he’s got a little trade bait in him?
Victor Oladipo – Was just his normal good lookin’ self, ready for a huge breakout year, then caught an elbow in practice and now looks more like Luis Scola. Out at least the first month of the year. I’m pumped to see RainbOladipo in a mask though… He’s gonna slash to the rim yelling, “somebody, stop me!” “P-A-R-T-WHY?! Because I got a And-One!”
Evan Fournier – The Fournier-year-old Virgin stands as the biggest benefactor, and interested how he’ll look tonight. Ben Gordon sorta creepily slouches in the corner as a benefactor. Fournier has got some talent, but we still haven’t seen a prolonged hot streak. And Ben Gordon is awful. But Gordon might be given enough minutes to make neither of these guys interesting, even in deep leagues.
Kyle O’Quinn – A 12er type streamer for opening night. I should know, because I’m doing it in one! No Channing Frye as he still recovers from a fried knee, so a solid 25 minutes should be there for the Irishman. And he doesn’t need huge minutes to rack up some stats, particularly the blocks.
Wesley Johnson – Only owned in 41% of Yahoo leagues; I think he’s another streamer for tonight if you already have a dedicated spot to stream. I’m not huge on him for the season, but on a three game opening night, why not?
Jordan Hill – Had a little neck issue but should play tonight. I loved me some Hill through preseason. Better spend your money on some of those legit masseuses, Buss family!
Jeremy Lin – Going to start. Steve Nash being out for the year deservedly should be the last news point. I ranked Lin thinking Nash would be a non-factor. In the deepest of leagues, I could see Ronnie Price being owned, but I don’t remember him even being drafted in the REL last night… “The Price is wrong, bitch!” That’s the collective voice of everyone looking at a scrub like Ronnie Price in their queue…
Well, it’s here and I couldn’t be more excited. WE couldn’t be more excited! From all of us at Razzball, we’re anxious to get this year started and looking forward to a baller 2014-15!