Kinda sounds like a porn name, doesn’t it?
After a day of giving thanks, fantasy owners got a huge boost while scarfing microwaved plates of Thanksgiving leftovers with Russell Westbrook healing up and putting on a historic comeback off the broken hand. Is this guy’s bones made of Adamantium or what?! Señor Westback seems to beat his timetable every injury the past few years, which I don’t know if it’s really a good or bad thing… Can heal fast, but is gettin’ hurt a lot! Reckless Russell. The made-for-TV Skinimax sequel to Wreck-It Ralph starring Russell Westback. I’d watch that! Although they’re apparently making a Wreck-It Ralph 2, which I hope embraces some Grand Theft Auto elements. Would make sense to star Russell Westback! Rated R, sorry kids… It’s like confusing them with Death to Smoochy having a purple dinosaur. Anyway, Westbrook absolutely torched the Knicks last Friday night in his return for 32/7/8 hitting 12-17 shots and notching three treys. Twas the first 32 Pts 8 Ast game in 24 minutes or less in the shot-clock era. It was like stealing the car, then running over the driver trying to sprint away for good measure. Even though it’s “just” his hand, got a huge layoff from that game until facing the Pelicans tomorrow. Plenty of time to catch up on his turkey leftovers, and refuel to give fantasy owners that first-round production for the bulk of the season ahead. So drop the confetti, and welcome Westback! But let’s hope it’s a little less Reckless, and we’ll take 25/5/5 every 24 minutes without any issues… Here’s what else went on around the league since we’ve been off from Thanksgiving:
David West – David Westback! Acting runs in the family… Started on Friday making his season debut from that kankle, going 18/6/4, then was able to go back-to-back for only 14/6/0/0/0 Saturday. Going to take a ton of shots, but I don’t expect much anywhere else except a handful of boards. Worth being sure he’s owned in shallower leagues should you be in a league with sloths.
DeMar DeRozan – DeMar Westnotback! Just couldn’t follow in his family’s footsteps with their acting lineage… Tore his groin, and man, if that’s not the worst injury for a porn star, I dunno what is! He’s hoping to be back in four weeks, but surgery and/or extended rehab with lingering issues could make this a very lengthy injury. Brutal, especially for a guy that has been a durable durango. I’d lean towards holding in all leagues, maybe 8ers or desperate 10 teamers can make the hasty drop.
Greivis Vasquez – Got the start with DeRozan out, for 19/0/5/1/0 shooting 8-16. I dunno, I’m not clamoring for my wires to grab him, as Lou Williams was a little off shooing 5-17 for his 19 points, and I think Sweet Lou takes a ton of Greivis’ minutes when he’s right.
Amir Johnson – Pulled a Schilling and had a bloody sock after restubbing his toe. Patrick Patterson got the bulk of the minutes down the stretch last night, going 10/13/3/0/1 on 3-8 shooting. Spoiler alert! If we know Amir needs to call the toe truck tomorrow, Pit-Pat will be an easy stream call.
Kobe Bryant – Whoa, triple-double police, we got a bigun! 31/11/12 beating the Raptors in overtime. Let’s see if anyone guesses a tripdub encore for Guess the Kobe line tomorrow!
The rest of the Lakers – Byron Scott said he’s planning on changing the starting line-up this week, and of course the Lakers come out and beat a playoff team… Jordan Hill played well, so I don’t think a change is there, and Ed Davis continues to fade off the map. Who knows what the hell will happen next for the purps and golds. All I know is I’ve just thought of the best shot ever, half purple drank, half Goldschlager. I’ll title this shot “lose all inhibition at a Colorado hotel”, but then again, maybe that’s wordy.
Anderson Varejao – No sideshow for you! Sat out Saturday after eating ribs for lunch (“that’s why I’m doing this”), giving Tristan Thompson a start for 13/11 Saturday. The game before he didn’t get a single board! At least this year it’s much easier to completely ignore Tristan Thompson as Varejao should be back tomorrow.
Brandon Jennings – Returned yesterday from his thumb injury, with shocking efficiency! Stan Van has threatened that the next time BJ is careless with the ball, he’s pulling out the hammer like the scene from Casino and thwacking that thumb. 6-19 FG (3-7 3PTM, 7-7 FT) 22/4/6/1/0 with only one TO. BJ wouldn’t mind keeping that thumb fat to more easily hitchhike out of Detroit; man the Pistons have been brutal…
Patrick Beverley – Currently not traveling with the Rockets, as he’s staying in Miami with the hammy. I have no idea where he really is, but it rhymed! And they have Cuban sandwiches, which are boss. On Saturday night, Isaiah Canaan then had to sit out with his kankle, giving Jason Terry a start. Yikes. But playing like it’s 1999 with a 18/6/5 line and four treys. Canaan had a big Wednesday last week for 24/6/4/4/0 and 6 treys, but that was against a Kings team with no Darren Collison and is a bigger outlier than an oasis in the Sahara. Really not too interested in any of these options – I’m fine dropping PBev in shallowers as well.
Dwight Howard – His knee must be feeling about at the same percent as his career FT average. It’s never good to see an injury get a call right, but Slim and I have been as anti-Dwight as it comes and I’d look to sell him off to teams needing blocks or boards, even at ridiculously deflated prices.
Dwyane Wade – In the shock of the weekend, we got a Dwayne Wade sighting! And looked solid too, going 27/5/5. But then you see who the Heat were against… The Knicks. And Wade had 7 TO! I guess every team with an injured guy is waiting until they play the Knicks to bring em back, kinda like a AAA rehab game. Get a few at-bats to get the swing of things, like Westbrook…
Ersan Ilyasova – The six foot turkey! Huge weekend from Ersan going 22/8/2/2/1 Friday night and 18/2/1 Saturday. Hit 5 treys combined and playing consistent, fantasy-usable ball. Zaza Pachulia is back home in Georgia – the country, as you’ll find a shocking lack of peaches – for some family business, so Ersan is looking at some big bench minutes. Plus could play some big run in blowouts, as that Friday game none of the Bucks starters scored in double figures. Was a very Larry Drew-ish game. “Funny, she doesn’t look Drew-ish!”
Jeff Adrien – An unfortunate (well, maybe fortunate given he showed some relevance…) part of that Bucks mess in the second half last year, Adrien has finally gotten signed by the Twolves. I wonder if they wear Tweed. Adrien doesn’t Tmatter.
Carmelo Anthony – Worked out those spasms! 31/8/2/1/1 with no TO in a loss against those Heat. Shot only 11-26 and hit only 1-6 treys, but man, that muscle must’ve loosened up more than librarian chicks at the bar after a few “lose all inhibition at a Colorado hotel”s.
Isaiah Thomas – Basketball is perilous for those ankles, and IT2 is yet another suffering with a kankle. At least it’s making Goran Dragic look good again! I actually think IT2 is a decent bottom-of-the-barrel buy low for some points/dimes upside in 12ers or deeper. Might even be on the wire in some leagues.
Tyler Zeller – Started for Kelly Olynyk, and here we go with Stevens big man tinkering… Zeller was decent for 7/10/1/0/1 with Olynyk 3/3/2/0/1 shooting 1-6 in two more minutes than Zeller off the bench. It’s a mess, feel free to move on from it all.
Draymond Green – #Occupy baby! Got red hot yesterday afternoon, and could be starting at QB for my Panthers right now. Because he’s that awesome, and well, his accuracy on Sundays is better than Cam Newton’s. 20/6/2/1/0 hitting five treys and humming Guns n Roses the whole game. “When the Draymond is Green and the girls are pretty, take! Me! Home!”
Kentavious Caldwell-Pope – We’re in such a love hate relationship… Right after I quit him, 20+ in two straight, 17+ in three straight and 3+ treys in those last three games. And the steals have arrived. The past six games he’s had 2, 1, 1, 2, 3, 3 in the Stl column. He’s still a ThrAGNOF to an extent, but I’m giving up my sobriety chip and ready to get turnt!
Andre Drummond – 2014-15’s first Goromotaro! 26/20 last Friday night, but could not have fallen apart more dramatically yesterday for 2/7/1/0/2 shooting 1-8. After seemingly turning that FG% around with 3 straight over 50%, another head scratcher.
Reggie Evans – Almost Goromotaro-ed last night! 17/20 in 35 bench minutes for the DeMarcus Cousins-less Kings. Run DMC should be back for tomorrow, so nothing much to do with Evans despite keeping him on your radar should Boogie need another Nights off.
Michael Carter-Williams – Patience is a virtue! Not only advice from 76ers ownership to the fans, but for MCW owners alike! 18/10/16 on Saturday night. Hit 10-12 FT but did have the 5 TO. Great to see the tripdub and maybe Tony Wroten being out a week with a bum knee is exactly what MCW needs to alpha dog this backcourt.
K.J. McDaniels – Kimchee Juice! 21/13/1/1/2 Saturday night, following in MCW’s footsteps with 5 TO as well. Hit a couple treys, and like MCW, maybe Wroten being out was exactly the opportunity in which Brett Brown realizes KJ needs more run.
Austin Rivers – He’s awful. But the Pelicans waived Darius Miller, so I guess they have faith Rivers can fill sooooommmmme minutes. Kinda like the first hour of Interstellar. The black hole left behind by Eric Gordon continues to be a Gargantua.
Joakim Noah – Flooding in the stats! 15/14/6/0/6 last Friday night, but got rid of about 90% of the animals on his ship for only 3/10/3/1/1 last night with 5 TO and only 1-4 FT. Pretty up and down year, especially with 3 of the past 4 being pretty bad, so maybe float some buy lows.
Nikola Mirotic – Had an unreal weekend. 13/8/2/2/5 for a sick rainbow against the C’s in 27 minutes and 12/12/1/1/1 in 27 yesterday against the Nets. Hit a trey in both of them, and took a total of 11 shots in those two games. Talk about efficient production! Must-add in virtually all leagues while this hot, but more for the short-term as Taj Gibson should be back from his ankle within another week or two. But you never know, big man ankle sprains can be tougies (cough, David West, cough). Mirotic is 14% owned in Yahoo, and of course owned in all my RCLs before I could add. Damn your panache, Razzball Nation!
Marreese Speights – The ace of Speights! A little underwhelming last night against the Pistons for 11/12/0/0/2 shooting only 4-14, but the game before last Friday for 27/5/2/1/1 in only 24 minutes was pretty ace of spades-ish! An absurd 20 shots in that game, but he should keep the shots flowin’ until David Lee is back from his bum hammy here in the next week or two.
Stephen Curry – Dinged his ankle, but doesn’t sound too serious. No need to scurry for replacements!
Rodney Stuckey – Rattled off a couple 20 point games back-to-back before falling off Saturday. While he doesn’t do much besides the scoring, I think the high-volume FT% can go a little overlooked, as he’s 28-30 from the stripe the past 5 games, taking at least 5 in each of them.
Reggie Jackson – Well, let’s hope you got the sell-high offers worked out! Only 10/6/4/2/0 with Westback, and it was in a blowout of the Knicks with plenty of PT.
Zach LaVine – Looked awesome in that huge game against the Lakers, putting together a career 28/1/5 line on 11-14 shooting. Key part of that sentence – “against the Lakers”. Completely disappeared for 0-3 FG 0/0/0/1/0 last night. Erstwhile…
Shabazz Muhammad – …decided he wanted to have a ridiculous-weird game for 28 points on 11-17 shooting last night. Wow this rebuilding Wolves team is going to be a nightmare for fantasy… A big pain in the azz.
Brian Roberts – Speaking of pains in the azz, the Hornets might want to revert back to the Bobcats at this point… Had back-to-back 20+ point games, only to be awful again Saturday night on 0-6 shooting for no points. The Hornets have to run out anyone who is hitting shots to make up for Lance Stephenson, so step up, anyone on the Hornets bench…
Cody Zeller – Has been the only guy to do so, with a 15/14 game Friday night, but also floundered in that travesty against the Hawks as well. Not much you can trust here, but will provide some solid Pts/Reb boosting to teams desperate.
Streamer/Cheap DraftKings Picks:
Cory Joseph (1% owned) – I recommended him the last Spurs “contest” against the Sixers, and he went 14/5/2/1/0 with a trey, playing a season-high 26 minutes. Should be another blowout, and Tony Parker recently revealed he has a cracked rib, despite playing yesterday. CoJo should get some major mojo tonight, with a limited or maybe even DNP-rest TP ahead of him.
Alexey Shved (1% owned) – Sticking with the same game, I could see MCW struggle and with no Tony Wroten, Shved getting a little extra run. Off an 18/4/5/2/0 game with a full dose of 26 minutes, I expect Shved gets another serving of run in that range tonight.
I hope everyone had a fantastic Holiday weekend, and let’s have everyone start off hot in week 6!