There must be some nudie pics of Pacers owner Herb Simon floating around GM David Morway’s home somewhere. I’m also convinced nudie pics of Morway are floating around in Jim O’Brien’s house. How else do you explain the clusterfudge of poor decisions being made in IndianapoLoss this season and every one of the last four? O’Brien hasn’t had a winning record with the Pacers since November 7, 2007 – the third game of his first season with the Pacers. Since then, he’s amassed a .424 win percentage, given mediocre outside shooter Danny Granger free range to shoot whenever he’d like despite his liking to shoot it from 30 feet away and with 19 seconds left on the shot clock, left the asthmatic Roy Hibbert to seek his own council in Bill Walton because the Indy coaching staff certainly had nothing to teach him (looking at you 6’10”, 2.6 career rpg Walter McCarty), has done less to coax out Darren Collison‘s skills in seven months than Chris Paul was able to in between injury rehab stints last year and now he wants to play small ball? Nudie pics. The shoeboxes in the closets of the Pacers brass must be rife with nudie pics. This spells bad news for Hibbert owners, as his minutes are about to take a J.J. Hickson-like turn for the worse. Owners of the five starters in this experiment should rejoice. Granger had a career-high 17 rebounds in his first start at PF last week. Don’t get used to that, but it stands to reason that he’ll be forced to take higher percentage shots closer to the basket if it’s his job suddenly to protect the paint. Audible sigh. Don’t drop Hibbert. My guess is the Pacers won’t play small ball for long. Hopefully the experiment will cease right after they show O’Brien the door.

Here are some far less frustrating developments yesterday in fantasy basketball:

DeShawn Stevenson – 19.5/3/3 in his last two games as his mpg increased from about 17 to 33. Deep leaguers – ho!

Caron Butler – By now you’ve heard, Butler’s out for the season. And Phil Jackson is a boy-toy. And the thought of Jackson having sex made me swallow back a little of my own vomit.

Al Harrington – Likely to return tonight, although he’s not likely to return to form for at least a few more games. Leave him on the bench until he shows he’s not rusty.

Shawne Williams – 9/5/1 in 21 minutes in a game in which the starters were on fire. Monitor him closely, as he could benefit from the Gallinari fallout. Bee tee dubya, “The Gallinari Fallout” would make a heckuva Dan Brown novel title.

Anderson Varejao – Hopes to play tonight despite a broken cheekbone. He’ll play with a mask, which disproves my Anderson Varejao can’t look any sillier theory.

Taj Gibson – 16/14 dub-dub despite admitting the concussion was having some after-effects. Quick! Someone concuss J.J. Hickson!

Tony Allen – Started, played 33 minutes, dropped 19 points along with three steals and two blocks on  the Thunder. Allen should punch dudes in the face every night! On another note, does anyone know this elusive card game players across the NBA are playing, betting thousands of dollars on and then losing their shizz when they don’t get paid?

Jeff Green – Shooting .359 and averaging 10/4/2 in the last two weeks. He’s got one double-double this year. this time last season, he had five. Jrue story.

James Harden – Jim’s gone nuclear. He’s scored in double-digits in each of his last dozen games and has a six-game three-point streak in which he’s averaging two a game. He’s only owned in half of all fantasy leagues, but he’s worth a pick-up in all of ’em.

Rudy Fernandez – Averaging 6.7/2/1.3 in his last three games. Turns out he can fail. The Clash were full of shit, man.

Nicolas Batum – Averaging 34 mpg in his last six and playing with more consistency. Does 13.7/5.3/1.7 and a steal and trey per game sounds good to you, ’cause it sounds good to November Adam, I’ll tell you that much.

Joel Przybilla – Returned tonight after a seven game absence. Leave him on the shelf until Camby snaps in two.

Marcus Camby – Stretch Marcus grabbed 20 boards for the second time in three games. Stretch, Marcus! Stretch!

Mike Bibby – Grabbed a season-high 10 rebounds last night. Then went to Al Horford‘s locker and bragged about outrebounding him. Then got a swirlie in the team bathroom because Horford can’t take a joke.

Jamal Crawford – Drained 31 points on the Kings last night and has scored at least 24 in each of this last three. He’s had five games of 24+ points or more and all of them have come in the last month. That’s how I get you to keep comin’ back: fun facts like that.

Andris Biedrins – Should return tonight after missing the last nine. If this excites you, your team is not very good.

Beno Udrih – The Kings let Udrih play, despite a wonky knee. He played 26 minutes and ended with a 3/3/2 line. If we’ve learned one thing from this, it’s not to play Udrih on your team as hastily as Sacramento did on theirs. If there’s a second thing to learn from this, it’s that once you use Beno, things get stinky.

Rodney Stuckey – Speaking of using PGs before they’re healthy, Stuckey went 0-for-3 in 13 minutes and hasn’t eaten much more than soup in the last week. So parading him out for the 25-point trouncing L.A. gave Detroit makes total sense.

Greg Monroe – Led the team in minutes played last night and ended with a 14/11 /2 stl line, mostly in garbage time. Or, as the rest of the league calls it, the second-half.

  1. brad says:

    what’s your guess about the suns sticking with their small ball lineup? would you jump ship on channing frye in a 16 team league?

    C.J. Miles just hit waivers, so I could take a stab at him, or grab a guy like Bonner or Shawne Williams.

  2. Adam

    Adam says:

    @brad: The Suns don’t really have choice. Lopez and Frye aren’t grabbing boards and Gortat isn’t the type that can carry a frontcourt. I like Miles a lot, especially if Kirilenko’s back keeps giving him fits, but I wouldn’t drop Frye for him unless you have plenty of threes and blocks coming from elsewhere. Frye’s not helping you now, but he’s healthy and Gentry’s got little choice but to re-incorporate him into the lineup sooner or later.

  3. Adam

    Adam says:

    @Scott: Good find, Scott. Thanks. Have you ever played this? Ever punched some sucker when he didn’t pay up?

  4. Tony says:

    ha so get this, my great deal that i ACCEPTED (which means it was proposed to me) has been getting alot of flack, and in this league nothing really gets turned down, but the guy apparently selected the wrong collinson, he wanted darren collinson, not nick, lol, which when i accepted the trade I kinda figured that…. but hey you submit the trade, you might wanna double check all the p’s and q’s?

    Other owners have kinda stuck up for the guy, 20 man league, 16 years running, and im the new guy, and i’ve been given the “do the classy thing”…..

    The deal was: My Cousins $33, Glen Davis $7, Nick Collinson $10 and my 5th round res pick which is like pick 4 million.

    for his Brandon Roy $52 (going back to the draft), haywood $10, and rasual Butler $7 and $6 draft money plus his 1st round res, actually a decent pick….

    what do you think adam or anyone? I kinda ignored a few of the chain emails now i’ve just said eff it and told them to frikkin cancel it. My new plan, deal with the best team in the league, and then the ones who were contending will think twice before they open their mouths next time?

    so annoying, and one guy brought up bobby phills was traded for dan majerle back in the day, after phills died!!!!!! and that was not challenged LOL

  5. Adam

    Adam says:

    @Tony:I’d avoid doing anything too petty. Especially if you’re planning on being in the league with these guys for the foreseeable future. The situation sucks and you’d be right to gently make fun of the guy who made the Collison mistake, but if you cut yourself off from most of the league trading-wise, you’re probably doing yourself a bigger disservice than them.

    They’d still have 18 teams to trade with, you’d only have one.

    Also, unless they were playing fantasy basketball during Thunder Dan’s first stint with the Suns, I’m not sure a dead Phills for a Miami Marjerle wasn’t a fair deal!

  6. Tony says:

    @Adam: haha, oh i know, im not going to dump my team to the top guy, i mean come’on adam! lol…. im in this league to win it, but i just find it funny there was such a stink about it, there were probably 15 emails… the guy made a mistake, i understand that, but isn’t that part of fantasy sports? managing your team? I’m in the camp that says if someone screws up, thats their fault…. if someone else gets a bonus out of someones screw up, good for them. I actually just hope my cancel went thru, the commish of the league has to clear that. I’m actually wanting to keep cousins now more than i am west who is basically the same keeper price, $32, and $33….. big cous might just be a top stud in the making…. defly more upside than west.

  7. Scott says:

    @Adam: No, never played, just heard about it from some friends. Supposedly pretty fun.

  8. Adam

    Adam says:

    @Tony: Yeah, if he keeps playing like he has this last week, you may come out on top of this deal anyway.

  9. I like these rundowns, they are very funny.

  10. Adam

    Adam says:

    @Daniel: Thanks! Kind of you to say.

  11. Tony says:

    @Adam: I said cancel the deal and the other guys says no now, lol…. so im not allowed out of the deal, but I’m supposed to compensate this guy because he mistakenly put the wrong collinson in the deal! It’s going to a league vote i guess, either i’m getting the original erroroneus deal which is good OR it gets cancelled and I can deal with someone else, which is good…. this is why you dont fold like a little bitch in leagues when people start whining, especially if you have a solid arguement!

  12. Tony says:

    @Tony: imagine that he complained he messed up and i was supposed to “compensate him” but now that cousins has went off for 3 games and glen davis has a bigger role he doesn’t want it cancelled! i love fantasy….

  13. Apes of Wrath says:

    Adam….in a league where I desperately need FG% and blocks,would it be smart to overpay a bit,and sacrifice scoring/3PTM(where I’m strong) for Bynum?….

    in other words,do you see Bynum working his way back into shape and increasing in value?

  14. Adam

    Adam says:

    @Tony: Yeah. I think this is where you put your foot down. You don’t owe him anything other than canceling the deal. It would set a dangerous precedent if you did. What’s to stop everyone from offering lopsided deals, claiming they made a mistake and robbing other owners blind because of it.

    @Apes of Wrath: Bynum’s already shown that he’s slowly improving. What would you have to lose to get him?

  15. Tony says:

    @Adam: Thats the point I made. I’m either keeping the deal that he messed up or the deal gets cancelled, screw all this I owe him some cash back or another player is just out of the question. He made a point he loses all leverage if the deal is cancelled. Well no crap. You’re right on the point of who’s to say you can’t just offer some crap deal then claim it wasn’t what you intended. But there was an email trail showing where he offered me a deal, then another, and then the 3rd one each one progressively asking for more money or a different player, in the third deal he just messed up the player he wanted to select, but at this point, call it a day or cancel it!

  16. K says:

    I think the card game could be a game called, Tonk. I live in Asia and some of the foreign (western) players who pass through here play it.

  17. brad says:

    @Tony: Yeah don’t cave on that. A little bit of a dick move on your part accepting the deal you suspected was made by mistake, but the guy doesn’t get to demand “compensation.” He can have the deal or can’t. You should start claiming you thought the deal was for a $7 Caron Butler.

  18. Adam

    Adam says:

    @K: Thanks! I’m going to have to look into that. I’m more curious about this than I should be.

    @brad: Ha. Agreed.

  19. Tony says:

    @brad: thanks man, i looked at the deal and in line with the two other offers it kinda didn’t make sense, i really didn’t put two and two together at first but knew it was the BEST deal so i accepted. I also posted on here asking if I should and another couple sites, so to me it wasn’t like “HAHAHA THAT FOOL IM RAPING HIM!!!” I mean you never know when some owner has a NICK COLLINSON FETISH! lol

  20. Adam

    Adam says:

    @Tony: Yes. We hear at Razzball do not promote, nor condone, fantasy rape.

    Just so no one is confused.

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