Look everyone, I have very little title space available and so many puns. But I promise that you’re getting the best of the best of the best with this title, which also subsequently means you’re getting the worst, so, you know, I guess we broke even. But yeah, rankings are over. Aren’t we happy? Well, I am… not because making lists based on highly argumentative values that might one day be ultimately solved with A.I. robot knife fights… (A.I. so hot right now) is one of my main jobs, but it doesn’t really allow much content creation. In this case “content” just means me blabbering and pontificating with the keyboard. Great for me, hopefully great for you! But back to the point, no, we are happy because with the Season Rankings complete (which you can view here, all in one place) we can now start moving to our regular season content schedule. And of course, with that, we gaze our eyes upon the greatest of NBA preseason. Okay, it’s not always great, but this preseason has been quite amazing if you love not just the court-play, but that distinguished and robust drama that no other league can muster. We’ve got Wemby doing alien-like things, James Harden dreaming of Fat Suit 2.0 and even Ben Simmons is hitting some middy shots? Has Jordan Poole officially started his revenge tour? That and more with our first Fantasy Notes of the year!
So look everyone, I get it, I slotted Victor Wembanyama a bit lower in my rankings than my peers. Is that looking pretty prescient now? No. But hey, my vocabulary selection is never lacking. I’m sticking with my ranking for now, not that I don’t ever eat crow, anything is tasty with enough salt and ketchup (maybe) and yes, I’m still keeping to my prediction that Chet Holmgren will win ROY over him, but make no mistake, that is not to say that I’m down on Wemby. Dude will be a force and I pray every day to the basketball gods (okay, so once a week, what do you expect from an atheist) for good health and prosperity. I mean, how do you explain this! The hype is real and justified. I’m just cautious in general and feel that as the NBA adapts to him, there will be a curve that he will no doubt encounter and then work through, and overall, it just might subdue the numbers a bit, and don’t forget, I’m not sure if the Spurs will win 15 games or 30, and that spread might also be a huge determining factor on where Wemby ends up.
This is definitely some recency bias, but Jordan Poole might just have an Olympic-sized pool chip on his shoulder, which gives me +5 bonus pun points. I’m just saying, everyone mark your calendars, the first of two games between the Wizards and Warriors is December 22nd… oh my goodness will there be popcorn. Poole certainly has a way of bringing out the opinions, but something to keep in mind on why I’m so high on him (it wasn’t just the 41 points in 27 minutes he put up on the Knicks last night on 52/50/93 shooting), it’s just that him and Kuzma will literally just throw up at least 50 shots a game combined and whether or not you like that, you’re gonna get the counting stats from it. Kevin Garnett might think that Poole can put up 60 twice this year, but I think plenty of 40+ games is just fine.
Is the league ready for the Jordan Poole show? @KevinGarnett5KG has high hopes for DC’s new face of the franchise to put up big numbers this season.
Watch all episodes of #KGCertified on our YouTube. pic.twitter.com/6H0O3gJbPN
— SHOWTIME Basketball (@shobasketball) October 11, 2023
As the World Turns… for James Harden continue to draw about 5% the same amount of interest as the off-season’s Dame saga. The twists and turns have been mostly talk, with Harden showcasing quality (for him) behavior a week ago to help his stock in a potential deal to the Clippers, but it appears the potential for a trade has hit a near final roadblock. This is not to say that everyone out there should be treating Terrence Mann as a 23-year-old phenom that will break the NBA. The reporting that Mann is the current roadblock in a potential deal involved picks and swaps is only because he offers stability, depth, and mid-talent for a team that quite frankly needs it any time Kawhi Leanard or Paul George sneezes. My sense is that if you want Harden on your team, you know what you’re getting into, though a solution to this would be most ideal… (I know, call me Captain Obvious.)
Ben Simmons… can shoot? Look, I love clowning on some NBA-folk, y’all see me have that love affair with Kyrie and Jewish Space Lasers, but I honestly think the NBA is better when these guys actually put themselves on the floor and shoot the ball. I mean, unless you’re Ja, then that might be too literal for him to handle. With Simmons, the offense can suffer a bit if the defense is there, but we were getting some flashes last season, but it’s been exhausting to watch him play through whatever it is you want to call this. His back has emotional issues or something. Which is okay! Mental health is important. Just not when you want to make a joke, but since backs don’t have feelings, I’m okay! Regardless, if we have more of this and less of, well, whatever the past couple of years were, it would be a big deal.
Other notes, Miles Bridges is human trash, not just for, you know, being human trash, but also always making me think bad news is breaking for Mikal Bridges which is truly unforgivable.
The Thunder traded Kevin Porter Jr. (shades of Miles) for more second round picks and another Oladipo visit. I don’t really care. Well, I care a little since I have no idea what Presti can do with 22 second-round picks and 15 first-rounders, but I’m sure it’ll be something interesting.
Zion Willimson scored 16 points with 5 steals and 2 blocks in just 15 minutes a couple days ago. As always, it’s just health and I’m not holding my breath… for fear of injury his hamstring.
This is older news, but I know it’s easy to look at Christian Wood‘s career stats and the fact that he’s now on the Lakers and think that maybe he’s in a good spot. But just keep in mind there’s a reason why he keeps changing teams and it’s probably not because someone thinks he can be a poor man’s KAT. Just saying.
Jay is a longtime Razzball everything who consumes an egregious amount of Makers Mark as a vehicle to gain wisdom and augment his natural glow. Living in the D.C. area, he also likes spending time visiting the local parks and feeding lettuce to any turtles he encounters, including Mitch McConnell.
